Does anyone have any ideas on how to help someone feel more comfortable on being open with others? The person I'm thinking of hides a lot of things ....stuff isn't private....it's secretive and has been hard on relationships past and present.
Opening up to others
Posted by but_didyoudie
what sort of things have been kept secret that has caused problems?
i think trust issues is coming to mind....
It seems like everything. From what you did that day to bigger things that maybe a friend doesn't need to know, but a spouse should. One example, an ex being pregnant.
Are you dating the secretive person ?
Posted by Sjess
Are you dating the secretive person ?
I was. Not anymore because of that.
I'm just curious about the opening up. I have met a couple people like that before. I think eventually we could be friends, but not right away. I don't think he's a bad person.
Posted by Timon
Make that person feel safe with you.
Yes, but how? Being there through bad times and being supportive didn't seem to help. I'm sure there are things I could have done better or hadn't realized I was doing to help make him feel unsafe.
Posted by TimonPosted by christinelovessnickersPosted by Timon
Make that person feel safe with you.
Yes, but how? Being there through bad times and being supportive didn't seem to help. I'm sure there are things I could have done better or hadn't realized I was doing to help make him feel unsafe.
What's his placements?
Don't judge and push it. Be supportive and understanding and hopefully he will feel safe with you and open up. Some people need more time to open up to others.click to expand
Sun & Mercury = leo
Moon= aries
Venus= virgo
Posted by but_didyoudie
An ex being pregnant by who🤣🤣 that's a peoblem.
Let them be.
You don't owe anything to anybody.
True. There has been a lot of history between us. Part of why I would eventually like to be friends and am interested in at least the possibility of a better (as in more solid) friendship if it does happen, hence the question about opening up. I'm also asking because of a few other people I have met or know. Not that I need to know all about them, I just would like them to feel safe with me.
Posted by but_didyoudie
An ex being pregnant by who🤣🤣 that's a peoblem.
Let them be.
You don't owe anything to anybody.
The baby has been born.....he just didn't tell me when about the pregnancy when we first started being together.
Posted by TimonPosted by christinelovessnickersPosted by TimonPosted by christinelovessnickersPosted by Timon
Make that person feel safe with you.
Yes, but how? Being there through bad times and being supportive didn't seem to help. I'm sure there are things I could have done better or hadn't realized I was doing to help make him feel unsafe.
What's his placements?
Don't judge and push it. Be supportive and understanding and hopefully he will feel safe with you and open up. Some people need more time to open up to others.
Sun & Mercury = leo
Moon= aries
Venus= virgo
Double fire. Didn't expect that. Have you caught him lying to you? What does he say when you ask him about it?click to expand
Yes. He owns up to it, but I think he may still hide some details. Usually his first reaction is to either day no or ask why I am asking. He has said that it's his business and that I didn't need to know everything about him.
Which house is his moon and how is it aspected with saturn and pluto?
Tbh reading the replies here... If you have been there for him, encouraged him to open up, been patient and understanding, and are not one to overreact and be overemotional... and he still hasn't shown progress? You have done all could do. This sounds like a deeper issue... Maybe one that calls for therapy.
Tbh reading the replies here... If you have been there for him, encouraged him to open up, been patient and understanding, and are not one to overreact and be overemotional... and he still hasn't shown progress? You have done all could do. This sounds like a deeper issue... Maybe one that calls for therapy.
How do you find out houses?
All I could find was:
9 degree in aries= moon
28 degree in libra= Saturn. It also says 24' 58"
26 degree in libra= Pluto. It also says 51' 48"
Saturn Conjunction Pluto (orb 1°33'). Couldn't find anything on the moon for some reason.
All I could find was:
9 degree in aries= moon
28 degree in libra= Saturn. It also says 24' 58"
26 degree in libra= Pluto. It also says 51' 48"
Saturn Conjunction Pluto (orb 1°33'). Couldn't find anything on the moon for some reason.
Posted by applecherrypie
Which house is his moon and how is it aspected with saturn and pluto?
Tbh reading the replies here... If you have been there for him, encouraged him to open up, been patient and understanding, and are not one to overreact and be overemotional... and he still hasn't shown progress? You have done all could do. This sounds like a deeper issue... Maybe one that calls for therapy.
Also, I can be emotional and reactive at times. He has said before that's why he doesn't say things. I'm not crazy and throw things or hit or anything. If i do it's typically crying maybe raise my voice....but I typical try to talk through it. I have to get through "the shock first". At least, that's what happened when I found out about the baby with the ex. I cried and got upset and then talked about things. I was more pissed about him hiding it.
Posted by but_didyoudiePosted by christinelovessnickersPosted by applecherrypie
Which house is his moon and how is it aspected with saturn and pluto?
Tbh reading the replies here... If you have been there for him, encouraged him to open up, been patient and understanding, and are not one to overreact and be overemotional... and he still hasn't shown progress? You have done all could do. This sounds like a deeper issue... Maybe one that calls for therapy.
Also, I can be emotional and reactive at times. He has said before that's why he doesn't say things. I'm not crazy and throw things or hit or anything. If i do it's typically crying maybe raise my voice....but I typical try to talk through it. I have to get through "the shock first". At least, that's what happened when I found out about the baby with the ex. I cried and got upset and then talked about things. I was more pissed about him hiding it.
ummmm and you're justifying his behavior why? he didnt wanna open up to you yet he had a baby with somebody else! im sorry, but im sure he opened up plenty with that other woman and that is ALL his* business. why would you even try to be friends with him?
im sorry but even a friendship doesn't work like that... let alone a romantic relationship.click to expand
Oh no, I'm not trying to justify his behavior. You had just mentioned something about not getting emotional an overract and I owned up to that I can. I was providing and example is all.
I'm not trying to be friends now. We aren't talking. We just have a long history. There is a possibility we may or may not be friends down the road.
This post wasn't just about him....it was started because of him. But, I started thinking about other people that either are or have been in my life that are that way. I have family members that are that way too.
Posted by christinelovessnickersPosted by applecherrypie
Which house is his moon and how is it aspected with saturn and pluto?
Tbh reading the replies here... If you have been there for him, encouraged him to open up, been patient and understanding, and are not one to overreact and be overemotional... and he still hasn't shown progress? You have done all could do. This sounds like a deeper issue... Maybe one that calls for therapy.
Also, I can be emotional and reactive at times. He has said before that's why he doesn't say things. I'm not crazy and throw things or hit or anything. If i do it's typically crying maybe raise my voice....but I typical try to talk through it. I have to get through "the shock first". At least, that's what happened when I found out about the baby with the ex. I cried and got upset and then talked about things. I was more pissed about him hiding it.click to expand
That's a big secret and you were right to react that way... Don't blame yourself.
i guess someone who is nonjudgmental and open-minded. if you react in a bad way, then they are less likely to be open to you. it takes self-restraint, composure, and true selflessness to truly listen to someone
Posted by TimonPosted by christinelovessnickersPosted by TimonPosted by christinelovessnickersPosted by TimonPosted by christinelovessnickersPosted by Timon
Make that person feel safe with you.
Yes, but how? Being there through bad times and being supportive didn't seem to help. I'm sure there are things I could have done better or hadn't realized I was doing to help make him feel unsafe.
What's his placements?
Don't judge and push it. Be supportive and understanding and hopefully he will feel safe with you and open up. Some people need more time to open up to others.
Sun & Mercury = leo
Moon= aries
Venus= virgo
Double fire. Didn't expect that. Have you caught him lying to you? What does he say when you ask him about it?
Yes. He owns up to it, but I think he may still hide some details. Usually his first reaction is to either day no or ask why I am asking. He has said that it's his business and that I didn't need to know everything about him.
If you were dating him it's only normal to ask so him being that reluctant to share things with you seems suspicious. It's one thing not being ready to share and tell the other person that but being that defensive... I wouldn't trust him.click to expand
I don't. That's why it's done. Apparently, he never really trusted me either. Breaks my heart, but 🤷.
Posted by leooox
i guess someone who is nonjudgmental and open-minded. if you react in a bad way, then they are less likely to be open to you. it takes self-restraint, composure, and true selflessness to truly listen to someone
That's the funny thing people that work with me and are friends were recently discussing how they think I'm one of the most open-minded people they know and I find ways to break down barriers with people.
So currently, I'm trying to figure out if I'm more judgmental with him or people that behave similarly. Like I mentioned before, there are people that are in my life or had been that are secertive like that.
I feel like I go emotional, yes, because it was out of left field, but I also stayed to try to work through things. I feel like there is a degree of open-mindedness there, if not a degree of stupidity.
I guess I'm soul searching now. Lol
He may be abit childish at times and immature.
Maybe message in afew days see how he's doing. Just take it one step at a time. Some people are just very private.
Maybe message in afew days see how he's doing. Just take it one step at a time. Some people are just very private.
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