Tagging along

Don't get me wrong, I think it's cute when women tag along with their boyfriends/spouses whenever their partners want to go spend time with "they guys."

BUT, I think it's unnecessary for women to tag along every single time, every time her man wants to go out with someone other than her.

Don't you hate the kind of relationships where 1 person has absolutely NO friends, while the other person still kept all their friends?! It's no wonder some girls tag along with "the guys" every single time; it's b/c she abandoned all her girlfriends. And instead of being alone or with her OWN friends for once, she'd rather be the 3rd wheel to her boyfriend & his buddies. And I think that's selfish.

I've seen many girls change once they get into relationships. The min. they're "taken" they stop talking to/hanging out with all their girlfriends. They completely allow their boyfriends to become the center of their universe, while all along the man never forgot/abandoned his friends.

I think it's important to have space & to give your partner space, whether you both have many friends or not. I think it's fair to say that some men may not mind their girlfriends tagging along SOME times, but every time? That's a little bit much. Men like to have their own "guy time." Same with girls. I can understand completely why some men are a little uncomfortable tagging along when their girlfriends want to have a "girls day out" with the ladies.

Have you guys ever known someone or become the kind of gal that tags along everywhere your man goes? If so, why? Was it b/c you lacked your own circle of friends? Was it insecurity?

I'm ALL FOR a woman getting to know her partner's friends very well; I think it's healthy & ok for her to hang with the guys every blue moon so she can eventually call them her friends too; plus, she needs to know what kind of company her man is keeping (we all HOPE our partners don't have immature or scandalous friends). BUT, I think it's quite selfish for a woman to tag along EVERY time.

I have a friend like this awhile back. Every time she'd get in a new relationship, she'd disappear. She wouldn't answer any of our calls. She always claimed to be "busy" when we'd ask her to do stuff on occasion. In fact, the ONLY time she ever called us was when her man pissed her off, broke up with her OR when she was alone at home b/c he went out with the guys. And it's quite annoying.

When I needed her, she was so stuck up her man's azs that she forgot about what it means to still be a good friend to others.

I understand that new relationships require lots of energy/time. I get it that they won't be able to hang out as much and/or engage in activities with us single ladies anymore. I get it. I'm not selfish. BUT I can't stand it when a female forgets about her friends and/or the people that have known her from the beginning, all b/c she's in a relationship.

And of course, the min. things go wrong, THEN that's when she suddenly gets her memory back & remembers that she had a group of friends the whole time.

What I've noticed about guys though is that guys never really ditch their friends when they get in new relationships. They may not hang with them as much, BUT they still make an effort to be their for their buddies and/or come to the rescue whenever needed. They don't allow their girlfriends to become the center of their universe. They don't abandon their love for sports or for their hobbies all b/c they have girlfriends. BUT alot of women do.

Posted by QLIbraMale
I like clingy women. something sexy about it lol.

Ha! I'll pass!

In fact, I get highly suspicious when a guy is a little TOO comfortable always being the 3rd wheel to me & my girlfriends.

At 1st, I'm appreciative that he's willing to sacrifice & be around us annoying girls all day long, BUT if he makes it a point to always HAVE to be there/around when I'm with others, I'll start to believe that his reasonsings for wanting to be there are coming from some place deeper. It may be insecurity, paranoia, possessiveness, jealousy or lack of trust, idk but either way, I'd want my man to come b/c he WANTS to come & experience fun with me & my friends vs. him only wanting to come to keep an eye on me. There's a difference

My 1 friend can never be alone. She absolutely HATES sports. So it completely racks my brain when she always tags along with her fiance whenever he's at his buddie's house during a football game. It's not like her excuse for being there is b/c she's into football too b/c she's not.

I just think it's mighty conveinant that she's insecure already AND just so happens to always find her way over to her man's buddie's houses whenever he goes over there.

I ask her all the time like, "Why don't you just stay home? What's the point in going over there if you're not gonna have any fun? If you're not into the same things he's into (video games, sports) why pretend like you are? Sounds to me like you're just insecure and/or afraid to let him out of your sight!" I swear some women can't handle a man having a life outside of her!

And when she goes over there with him, she's always wanting him to leave before he's ready. When she goes over there, she pretends like she's into what he's into. Even when he goes dirt biking (something she's completely NOT into) she even wants to go with him there too. I just don't get it.

It's like honey, if you're THAT afraid that he'll cheat on you or won't be where he says he is, then you shouldn't be with him. She has a rule about them not being able to go to the club without eachother, too. It's ridiculous.

When I asked her about this, she of course got offended & had an immediate speech prepared. She claimed that what she was doing was backing up her man and/or supporting him. I'm like honey, there's NOTHING wrong with acknowledging that in some areas, you & him are different and/or have different hobbies/interest. You not liking sports is NOT the same as you not supporting the fact that he actually does like sports. If you want to support him, then don't bxtch or complain when he goes to his buddie's house to watch the superbowl, but actually going somewhere you don't wanna be is another form of spying on your partner. It's not done out of good intentions/motives. It's selfish.

Me personally, when I'm out with my girls I like for it to just be the girls! A guy being the 3rd wheel every blue moon doesn't bother me as long as it's not an every time thing. What if 1 of us needs to talk to "the girls" about a girl problem that we don't want any of the guys to hear?

I hate it when "girls night out" turns into double dates!

You know what bums me out? Some older gent sitting there henpecked while his woman talks FOR him. I don't know how many times I've seen this, but I will lock down on him and ask him questions. Shut UP and let the man SPEAK.
Totally off-topic and utterly random thought.

Posted by ellessque
I've even gotten to a point where I'll suggest "why don't you go spend some time with the guys, i think you need some guy time"...."have fun, buh-bye"....LOL
.

That's what makes it worse! My friend's fiance is ALWAYS hinting to her that she oughta "Spend some time with the girls." I think he REALLY wants to say, "Look, you're smothering me & I think you should go smother someone else for a change!" Perhaps he looks forward to her spending time with her girlfriends b/c it allows him to spend some alone time with his guy friends by himself, since she'd be busy and/or wouldn't have the time to spy or be the 3rd wheel.

It's like, honey, what do you think you'll be missing out on if you don't go just once!—!

I truly believe that men have 2 sides to them. They're 1 way with women & another way with their buddies. Doesn't necessarily mean that they're 2 faced or that they're doing anything wrong when with their friends. But hey, there's a REASON why girls lean on/go to other girls for certain things while guys stick with the guys!

I personally want my man to have a life outside of me! If I trust my man's friend's enough to feel comfortable enough going over their houses with him, then I oughta trust my man & his friends enough to hang out even if I'm not there!

Posted by venusianbull
You know what bums me out? Some older gent sitting there henpecked while his woman talks FOR him. I don't know how many times I've seen this, but I will lock down on him and ask him questions. Shut UP and let the man SPEAK.
Totally off-topic and utterly random thought.

HA! And even worse...when a woman tags along with her man's friends & tells him to cut their visit short all b/c SHE'S got something to do! I think that's so rude! It's already bad enough that she tagged along to begin with, but when she starts calling orders/shots & telling him to go even before he's ready? That's selfish & is a big no no.

you don't know too many gay guys, do you? they're pretty much exactly what you described when in relationships as well. take my best friend for example... he practically disappeared off the face of the earth when he became involved!

Posted by ninjamu
you don't know too many gay guys, do you? they're pretty much exactly what you described when in relationships as well. take my best friend for example... he practically disappeared off the face of the earth when he became involved!

Oh I know plenty!

The ones I know are quick to want to hang with "the girls" but I've never really noticed how they act when they get into their own relationships b/c I'm not super close to any gay guys.

But hey, if it's true that some gay guys tend to disappear, it's probably b/c of the feminism in them! And I say that b/c that's what women are known for too! Women will disappear in a heart beat!