Telling parents of a relationship/meeting s.o.

When is an appropriate time to tell your parents about a relationship of have them meet your bf/gf??

I've been with my boyfriend for over a couple of months now, and even though its not that long, he already wants me to fly out to meet his family.

I on the other hand, haven't even TOLD my parents I'm seeing anyone.... I've always been pretty secretive with my parents and I live with them so sometimes its just hard to keep stuff a secret.

The reason I haven't told them yet is because since my last relationship I told myself I wasn't going to even mention a bf to them unless it was serious, because when I was with an abusive aries and my mom got her nose in my business ALL the time... she would DEMAND that I call him and apologize for stuff she had NO IDEA about... She would side with him on stuff and it was just rediculous. I would cry and beg her not to open the door for him when he'd show up.. and what would she do? let him in... I finally ended up telling her that he was abusive and she finally let it all go but I still hold resentment about the whole situation.


So idk, thats just a bit of where I'm coming from.... My bf I have now is someone I don't think my mom would like for me, because of his tattoos, beliefs, etc.. (my mom is super catholic) But he is a really caring/loving guy and treats me right/respects me and protects me. That is all that matters to me. I don't care if he doesn't have some fancy degree, I don't care how much money he makes, or what his outward appearance is like. Those aren't important factors for a relationship....

But the other day I overheard my mom having a convo with her friend and she told her that all she wants for me is a good guy that treats me right so maybe she has changed since my whole other situation?

But I do know I have to tell my parents soon.
I feel bad always lying to them about where I'm going.... it makes me feel like a teenager. lol.

Not to mention I don't want my boyfriend think the reason I haven't had him over is because I'm ashamed of him... because thats not it at all!

You are twenty three, you are free to make your own choices. Your parents dont have to approve of the guy. I know it is different when you live with them but you need to have a talk with them about who gets to make decisions about your life. Be respectful, you are in their house and ultimately it is their rules but they need to back off some. As for your mom's conversation with her friend... stop eavesdropping! Really, all parents (all of them that matter anyway) just want what is best for their children. Part of your job transitioning into adulthood is to help them realize that you are capable of taking care of yourself and that while you may not always make the 'best' or even right decision, they are your decisions.

Sidenote, with a lot of parents the only response is "if you dont like it, move". If this is how yours are you may want to plan on moving and save the talk. But if you have a goood relationship and can talk to them, this is a good one. Don't lie to them though. It may make it better short term but what about now when you have been digging this lying hole for a while. You gonna tell them you just met him or that you been dating him for months and lying about it?

Posted by TasteOfChaosss
I've never told my family about relationships.

Now they think I'm a lesbian...

Little do they know eh?

You aren't a lesbian !?

What are you doing tomorrow afternoon?

yeah I definitely know I can't keep him a secret forever... hah. I am just nervous about creating a shift in my home life. I don't want to make it even more complicated than it already is. But at the same time I'm tired of having to hide aspects of myself, and my life just because of my mom. Shes never really agreed with anything I've ever done anyways so I don't know why I should start caring now... I just feel guilty. Because my parents depend on me financially but at the same time they need to respect me and my choices. If they can't they'll have to deal with living without me.... and I'd have to try and not feel guilty about it I guess.


oh, and librasid, I wasn't intentionally eavesdropping! I happened to be walking past when she was saying that on the phone to a friend... 🙂


Thanks for your replies guys. much appreciated 🙂

Posted by TasteOfChaosss
I've never told my family about relationships.

Now they think I'm a lesbian...

Little do they know eh?

lmao! my moms asked me if I even like guys...... too funny! 🙂

Thought I'd update this.. hah well my mom is on vacation for a while, and I called her this morning and she said she had a dream about me and that she said "why haven't you introduced me to your boyfriend?" and shes like "do you have a boyfriend?? tell the truth!" and I just flat out admitted I did. haha. so now when she gets back I guess she wants to meet him. lol.

well. this will be interesting!!