Men: Does it Matter Who Says I Love You first?

I really want to hear from the men's perspective. Also, if you're a woman who said it first (and you're still together) did it hurt the progress of the relationship?

Is it okay to comment when I'm not the first and not classified as a male?

I can also ask my fianc? to respond and I can post it, if you'd like. 🙂

Sure, I would love to hear from everyone, just mostly from a men's perspective. So many people say it's taboo for a woman to say it, but I'm in a situation where he dances around it and writes poems about it. I'm wondering if I'll ruin things if I do.

My Virgo said it first to me..I was like *huh* I didn't know what to say...and then one night in a passionate moment It just bursted out...I already knew I did but I just thought It wasn't the right time to say it.🙂

Posted by AquariusDiva
Sure, I would love to hear from everyone, just mostly from a men's perspective. So many people say it's taboo for a woman to say it, but I'm in a situation where he dances around it and writes poems about it. I'm wondering if I'll ruin things if I do.

If he is writing poems about it I bet he is getting ready to tell you..just give him a little more time...

I had been hurt before dating my current beau. He's a childhood friend of mine, and was without much relationship experience prior to our courtship. He fell fast while I took months to even begin to allow my shields to fall. He told me first in the car outside of his house. I was dropping him off. I responded with, 'Okay'.

I'm charming like that.

I don't love easily or very hasty. Although I've found that the friends and family around me tend to stay together longer the slower they progress relationships, but I'm obviously not one to judge their personal experiences.

If your mate is speaking about the subject.. and you feel it (I'm not sure if you do though) then you have every freedom to express such!

I'm asking my mate's opinion right now 🙂

Posted by Metoo
I find myself wondering why we gals need to get the "i love you" out of the way.
I am not sure how I feel about it either way, seems like if you said it and meant it genuinely
and it was not recieved well or "ruined" the relationship, then he is not the right man.
How could words from the heart make or break two people that were meant to be.

But my main thought is love is an action so it doesnt matter if the words are said.
No matter who says it first, "I love you" is just words, but what of actions?
I would look for him to SHOW it. xo

I really "love" the way you put that Metoo! 😛 You are right - how can something from the heart ruin a relationship that is meant to be?
He does show it, which is why I've nearly burst at the seams and almost let it slip a couple times because of what he's done for me, going out of his way sometimes and being a big sweetie. Not that he's perfect, but he's truly genuine. There are more than poems, but as far as words are concerned, he's told me how he feels in poetry and music, but not a direct "I Love You." I don't mind that he hasn't, but I've been itching to say it myself, lol!

This is an interesting thread.

And for me it is less that i would want to get it out of the way. Not less, but not even a factor. Its about those moments you feel it and they are looking at you and theres an intense appreciation and you almost feel its about to burst from your lips without your knowing.

I will wait for him to say it.

Posted by LouLore
This is an interesting thread.

And for me it is less that i would want to get it out of the way. Not less, but not even a factor. Its about those moments you feel it and they are looking at you and theres an intense appreciation and you almost feel its about to burst from your lips without your knowing.

I will wait for him to say it.

YOU.

Was wondering about you the other day, miss lovely Koi. 🙂

words .... they can be empty

the tongue can be forked ... and some people can dress it up all nice and pretty so you'd never know it was forked

I'd rather words never be said if that is all they are

There was a guy I knew once who beat the living fucking shit out of his dog .... and then said he loved his dog

:::: shakes head :::::

It's very disturbing to me how young girls need to hear words, even if they are empty, it doesnt' matter to them ... tell them what they want to hear and the doorway opens

What a simple line to get the panties off. Men try to come up with new and slick moves, and pick up lines ... alls he has to say is, "I love you" ... and her heart melts.

Title >> Men: Does it Matter Who Says "I Love You" first?

It doesn't matter that it is said at all

Interesting perspective P-Angel. Words CAN be empty, but they can also enhance. We've already had the "exclusive talk" and all that, so it's not saying it in the spirit of manipulation.
Sometimes you do get to the point where you're so excited that you almost blurt it out, even in the silliest things like he remembered that you don't like the nuts on top of the brownies and he picked them off before he served it to you and it's just THAT thoughtful- the effort and the attention to details. That didn't happen by the way; it's just an example.

Posted by Huntress

Posted by LouLore
This is an interesting thread.

And for me it is less that i would want to get it out of the way. Not less, but not even a factor. Its about those moments you feel it and they are looking at you and theres an intense appreciation and you almost feel its about to burst from your lips without your knowing.

I will wait for him to say it.

YOU.

Was wondering about you the other day, miss lovely Koi. 🙂

click to expand

Ello! 🙂

Posted by Metoo
Life is so short, think how fast the past 5, 10 years have flown by...do you really want to hold back ANYTHING?
What if you never got the chance to say it again.
Say it from the heart in a moment that you really feel it and mean it.
Do not even guage his response back or have any expectation of the way he will take it or respond to it, it doesnt matter.
Say what you genuinely feel and thats that! What is meant to be will be no matter what.

true true

my actions pretty much dictate how i feel about someone. bringing this back to astrology for a moment, since my venus is in capricorn, my love language will be tangible and touchy and i want love shown to me to same way.. but lets say someone doesnt speak my love language, then i will have to open up my mouth.

but my actions are just so obvious. if i love you even other people see it. which i like because then my partner knows that its real.

i prefer not to say it first, im come off less aggressive that way.

I think that you should say it if you feel it. The only reason I see not to is either if you're afraid of their response, or you are trying to play a power game. Either way holds serious negative consequences down the road. If I tell a woman I love her and her internal response is to run away, I am fine with that, she can run. If someone tells me and I don't feel the same, I'd still rather it be out in the open so everyone knows what's up.

Dang double posting =/