To Abstain or to Not Abstain?

Give me your EXPERIENCES. What are the advantages and Disadvantages of abstaining.

When do you recommend having sex? First date? 1 year? when you feel comfortable and it feels right.

Have you ever waited only to find out that your partner doesn't pleasure you because you have a WILD side and they don't?

What do you consider abstaining. NOT having anal. Not having Oral, Mutual masterbation...MASTERBATION AT ALL, Not having any sex at all...Not even THROUGH CLOTHES?

Just for your info...I'm a slut so my opinion doesn't matter.
I use the word SLUT in the most AWESOME way not in a demeaning way.

Thank you

Personally, im ready to have sex WHENEVER she is ready to have sex. I will press the issue as weeks go by, but if it is clear to me that sex isn't one of her major issues in a relationship then I'll be forced to separate from her because i will end up sleeping with another woman my hormones are just that bad 😢

I guess that makes me a slut then too LibraTopcat 😢

...but i mean weeks to months without sex— IMPOSSIBLE!!!!!

^^^^^^^^^ I KNOW 😢

This topic has been done a LOT lately! Lmao. But for me, I do whatever I feel like doing. I don't have "timetables." life is too short, and tomorrow is never promised. I AM selective about who I invite into my ummm...world 😉 but
I am very sexual so, if we are vibing so be it. I'm with BigD, I couldn't imagine weeks with somebody that I am vibing with and not being able to enjoy the fruits of that "getting to
NOW each other!

I'm a fantasizing slut, LibraTopcat ... using the term "slut" in an awesome way .... my sexual fantasies are constant, and quadruple X rated.



As for abstaining ... I think it should only be when it's a natural process to do so. Much like you said, what if you sleep with someone and they just don't turn you on, yet, you really like this person a lot .. then at this time, the two should refrain from arousing each other.

The problem with the single women is that they use sex, or the prospect of you, the guy, getting sex, as a tool to snare you in once you show the girl interest. Keep in mind, always .... sex and emotions are the same thing for women.


If she's horny for you and lets you know she's hot for you, while not giving it you .... yeah, she's trying to manipuate you.

In my opinion, I think that it depends on what is right for the couple. There are many arguments to abstain and many used to not abstain. But in the end, I think, it is important to remain cognizant of the fact hat everyone is different. Every couple is different with a different dynamic. What might work for one couple could be a complete disaster for another. I do not feel that anyone should be made to feel uncomfortable. Whether that is by abstaining or having sex. As long as both parties in the relationship are happy with whatever their sex life consists of (or does not consist of) and the relationship remains open and honest, it's all good! 🙂

BigD - you just look like a freak!

USC - lol @ "enjoy the fruits of ..."

Natural25: "BigD - you just look like a freak!"

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lol @ BigD. There is nothing wrong with it. Handle your business. Just remember to wrap it up and use dental dam if need be!! Ahh HA HA HA!

Posted by natural25
Lol @ BigD. There is nothing wrong with it. Handle your business. Just remember to wrap it up and use dental dam if need be!! Ahh HA HA HA!

OMG, K-I-L-L-I-N-G me! But, I gotta agree w/Natural -- umm, yeah, what she said BigD 😉 - embrace your freakiness! LOL!

I guess it all depends on person's values and experiences. I, personally, like to wait for a while.

There are a lot of creeps out there and I also believe that you do not know who the person you are dating is after a first/second or even a third week.

Therefore, if I need it I got my batteries operated friend 😛 instead of jumping under every stranger who buys me a dinner or takes me to a movie.

Posted by USCTaurusGal

Posted by natural25
Lol @ BigD. There is nothing wrong with it. Handle your business. Just remember to wrap it up and use dental dam if need be!! Ahh HA HA HA!

OMG, K-I-L-L-I-N-G me! But, I gotta agree w/Natural -- umm, yeah, what she said BigD 😉 - embrace your freakiness! LOL!

click to expand

LMAO! Girl, I am just keeping it real. I used to be a sexual education instructor, you know. Lol.

Naw Natural, it's all good. It was just cracking me up! I am very comfortable w/my sexuality, but I think for some women, that comfort level just comes w/age and an understanding of who they are; however, that's not ALL women or even men. I think too much emphasis is put on sex in an unnatural way that people feel bad/guilty if they enjoy it ... not me 😉

Posted by LibraTopcat
Give me your EXPERIENCES. What are the advantages and Disadvantages of abstaining.

When do you recommend having sex? First date? 1 year? when you feel comfortable and it feels right.

Have you ever waited only to find out that your partner doesn't pleasure you because you have a WILD side and they don't?

What do you consider abstaining. NOT having anal. Not having Oral, Mutual masterbation...MASTERBATION AT ALL, Not having any sex at all...Not even THROUGH CLOTHES?

Just for your info...I'm a slut so my opinion doesn't matter.
I use the word SLUT in the most AWESOME way not in a demeaning way.

Thank you

haha, whatever. u know u meant slut in a dirty, hot way. it's ok. it's better when we're honest! heh.

i abstained for a about a year and half following the break-up of a 7 year relationship. i chose to because i hadn't been single since i started "dating" at 16. i wanted to have time to work on myself in so many words. one major advantage is that i was able to regain that sense of myself as being a whole person with and without having a significant other in my life. after so many years of being attached one can forget about themselves and i think that is folly and unwise.

i recommend having sex whenever both partners feel it's right. i have not waited with an intent to gain any more out of a potential relationship through sex if that makes any sense. i do have a wild streak and i will say that i only just found my match but i like variety in sex anyway. the down side is that having an inflexible partner, or one that is totally unadventurous, will eventually break the relationship. sex is an important expression of love for me. if my man is into more of the vanilla variety it is ok as long as he compromises with me. it's a give and take after all.

abstaining to me means no vaginal or anal sex. everything else is up for grabs. mmm, mutual masturbation. i love performing for my partner then watching him work himself excitedly from watching me. such a turn on!

Ninjamu. I think this was fun and I embraced what you wrote. I think everyone had some wonderful imput.

I just know I am a slut, and my name is libratopcat. Hehe.

Once Again thank you everyone.

I like the way that Ianthefish said it - succinct and to the point. I agree with that assessment BTW.

I haven't gone without for longer than a month in 12 years!!! It shocks me sometimes. When I'm with somebody, I am faithful, no matter how much I fantasise about other people. When I am single, I turn into a slag. I mean that in the best possible, wake-up-the-next-morning-with-a-big-dirty-smile way. Ahhh. I do love to put it about when I am not taken. 🙂

I think that sex is important in a reationship, that is, except for the abstemious ones. But even to them sex is important - important in the way that they have decided not to indulge. It isn't the most important part of a relationship though. I have a pretty freaky streak through my sexuality, while my partner does not. I do miss mad sex, but with this guy, I love him and trust him so much that I am able to relax and make love with him. To me that is much more important than fulfilling my freaky fancies.

As to the word 'abstain', it depends on the person using the word I suppose. For instance, those religious people who wait until they are married can do anything other than penetrative sex. Or, if they see oral and anal as a part of intercourse, they may refrain from that too. As I say, it depends on what the relevant parties want.

Oh. I LOVE LOVE LOVE the male and female self proclaimations of slutiness in a good way!!! It's so good to see poeple accepting their sexcual and sensual desires as a part of them, and not as something dirty and forbidden and sinful.