justledouxit86
@justledouxit86
6 YearsScorpio
Comments: 0 · Posts: 149 · Topics: 10
Was I wrong to do it?
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Want to add that her brother is no skinny whimpy kid... He is a big ol boy and tries to be tough. We are about the same size and he wants to act like a big man, so I treated him like I would treat any man who said some crap like that... He said other insulting things and I kept my mouth shut, but I felt he took it too far by basically calling his sister a slut...
I would have done this for any of my female friends and actually have under different circumstances. I've stood up to my OWN family several times even. This is the first time the person I stood up for got mad at me though. And I care so much about her, so I want to make sure if I did wrong, I do what I can to make it right. Even if this is what ends our relationship.
I would have done this for any of my female friends and actually have under different circumstances. I've stood up to my OWN family several times even. This is the first time the person I stood up for got mad at me though. And I care so much about her, so I want to make sure if I did wrong, I do what I can to make it right. Even if this is what ends our relationship.
I think your delivery was shit
You had to know threatening to knock his teeth out was going to cause drama?
Would have been better if you just told him it makes you uncomfortable and puts you in a bad position when he trashes his sister in front of you because you feel like you need to defend her honor, but he’s her brother and you don’t want to cause family drama either. I feel he could have respected you coming to him like a man like that rather than threatening him like you did, because now you’ve just come off mouthy
And no, I don’t think it was your place.
I get that if it were anyone else you would have done the same, but it’s not anyone else...it’s family. So it should have been treated a little more delicately imo
You had to know threatening to knock his teeth out was going to cause drama?
Would have been better if you just told him it makes you uncomfortable and puts you in a bad position when he trashes his sister in front of you because you feel like you need to defend her honor, but he’s her brother and you don’t want to cause family drama either. I feel he could have respected you coming to him like a man like that rather than threatening him like you did, because now you’ve just come off mouthy
And no, I don’t think it was your place.
I get that if it were anyone else you would have done the same, but it’s not anyone else...it’s family. So it should have been treated a little more delicately imo
How to fix it: just take responsibility for your part and apologize for overstepping
Have a beer with her brother and make it clear you care for his sister and you’re not going anywhere so you two need to just squash it and move on
Have a beer with her brother and make it clear you care for his sister and you’re not going anywhere so you two need to just squash it and move on
Posted by brianafay
I think your delivery was shit
You had to know threatening to knock his teeth out was going to cause drama?
I agree... And I really didn't give much thought to how my comment would come off, other than to try to make a point. Definitely shouldn't have been so impulsive. Not like I couldn't have talked to him some other time.
Would have been better if you just told him it makes you uncomfortable and puts you in a bad position when he trashes his sister in front of you because you feel like you need to defend her honor, but he’s her brother and you don’t want to cause family drama either. I feel he could have respected you coming to him like a man like that rather than threatening him like you did, because now you’ve just come off mouthy
I could see how this would be a better approach.
And no, I don’t think it was your place.
I get that if it were anyone else you would have done the same, but it’s not anyone else...it’s family. So it should have been treated a little more delicately imoclick to expand
I agree looking back on it... This is different from any other situation and should have been more delicate about it. Wish I could go back and get a redo the more I think about it.
Posted by starlordPosted by brianafay
How to fix it: just take responsibility for your part and apologize for overstepping
Have a beer with her brother and make it clear you care for his sister and you’re not going anywhere so you two need to just squash it and move on
Based on this, I can't imagibe the brother is the type and age to go out and have a beer? 🤔click to expand
Just a figure of speech
Posted by brianafay
How to fix it: just take responsibility for your part and apologize for overstepping
Have a beer with her brother and make it clear you care for his sister and you’re not going anywhere so you two need to just squash it and move on
I like this idea, thank you!
Posted by nanobot
I don't think you were totally out of line, I mean you just had a moment when you thought that you should display your machismo, which from my understanding is what men do sometimes. Being that that was the first time that you met her brother, your reaction was a little over the top given that you really didn't know the dynamic she has with her brother, how close they are, what they joke about. My little brother and I joke around alllllll the time like that.
I really don't understand the joking like that, but you are right .. My actions were over the top and came off as me being macho. Not what I intended, but intents don't always matter in the end...
I think this boils down to her own issues with her ex. You said that her ex was abusive, so maybe the physical threat was something that triggered this type of reaction in her. This is more a reflection on her than you, and is something that you can learn from moving forward.
She's told me very little about her ex... She really doesn't talk about him and I learned not to pry with her. I know what I know from mutual friends and her mom. She disappeared completely from my life during the time she was with this guy, so I never met him and only know second hand, but from what I gather, he is a real asshole.
You should have just asked if it bothered her, if that type of joke was a norm for them. If you still felt the need to confront the brother, tell him that you care about his sister very much and hate to see her disrespected like that by someone that she loves and cares about, and ask him not to do it again at least in your presence.
Definitely would have been a better way to handle it.
For now all you can do is continue to give her space, and reach out to apologize to her brother if you have not already done so. So that her and her family can see that you know what you did wrong by her and are trying to make it right.
I am trying to get her brothers contact info. Messaged him on Facebook, but not sure he goes on there much. I would really like to apologize with him, whether this ends my relationship or not. I'm man enough to admit when I am wrong.
My honest opinion is that I am unsure why you wouldn't be together after dating for 5 whole months, and if she chooses to end your "dating relationship" over this, then there is likely another reason for it and your threat is used as the scapegoat. The real reason would probably be the same reason why you wouldn't be in a relationship yet after knowing each other 6 years, with 5 months of dating, and caring about each other very much (as you said).click to expand
We agreed not to put a label on it and take it slow and see what happens... Another reason I am starting to feel like I was in the wrong all the way around... Not exactly taking it slow if I am being overprotective of her :/
Posted by elllle
If it were me, this wouldn't have happened because I would have personally took my brother outside in private and knocked his teeth out myself.
See, I always known her to be the type to not take shit. Which is why this caught me off guard. Maybe I should have took it to mean that it doesn't bother her, but I took it as it was a sore spot for her and felt I should say something.
what an asshole.
That was my first thought lol
It bothers me more that she is okay being disrespected like that by family more than you being a brute.
You can apologise for your behaviour. She seems damaged.click to expand
Yeah, I don't understand why she would take this and how her mother would allow it. I don't find it funny and would never talk like that. I feel like it really does hurt her but she sometimes stuffs her hurt. I think she has some self esteem issues lately... Though if they always joke like that, it can't be just a recent thing.
Posted by Alexina
Maybe her saying that those "jokes" of her brother are a common banter is a way of her protecting him in a twisted way.
None of what he said was funny.
Does make sense that she might try to protect her brother by saying that, esp after I threatened him...
The threat with her brother was slightly taken too far (considering that was the first time you met him), even though it came from right intentions.
However, I don't think this should become the major reason of a breakup. If her feelings for you are truly mutual, I believe that she would come to her senses and see what you did for what it truly is: taking care of her. No more, no less.
And if she can't see the forest for the trees and end up, breaking the relationship... I don't think it will really be your loss compared to her losing a caring, protective partner in you...click to expand
Thank you... I really do my best to treat her well and I am naturally protective with friends and family I care about. I'm not overly macho all the time, just when I feel (in the moment) I need to be. Just happened to be wrong this time :/
I care a lot about her and sure hope it isn't over. My fears of her wanting to break up with me are my probably my own insecurities because all she said is she will talk to me in a couple days when she can get her thoughts together. But I'm anxious none the less... I guess because I had high hopes for us...
Posted by starlordPosted by brianafay
How to fix it: just take responsibility for your part and apologize for overstepping
Have a beer with her brother and make it clear you care for his sister and you’re not going anywhere so you two need to just squash it and move on
Based on this, I can't imagibe the brother is the type and age to go out and have a beer? 🤔click to expand
He is 21... I guess I will find out how mature he is because I plan on making an attempt to apologize in person. Adding the beers may help lol
Posted by Impulsv
I think the brother is right in his assessment n you should run from the disfunction
I agree. Additionally I'd say to let her go.
Posted by sweetpea2977Posted by Impulsv
I think the brother is right in his assessment n you should run from the disfunction
I agree. Additionally I'd say to let her go.click to expand
I won't deny it is possible... I think she may have slept around in her younger years. But I've never known her to, before we started dating and we're just friends. But doesn't mean it didn't happen. I'm trying to stay realistic about things and not judge her based on her past, but I already let my walls down and fell for her, so it's hard to be objective.
Well, a mutual friend told me she is no longer interested in seeing me. This friend is prone to drama, so won't know for sure until she comes back around. Not going to get my hopes up though.
Definitely gonna hurt. Let my guard down and showed her my soft side. Something may only 3-4 poeple have seen in my entire life. Wish I hadn't now. Still going to be her friend if things don't work out and maybe she will come around, but I'm not counting on it. If she does, I will have to see how I feel then.
Definitely going to be going through a roller coaster of emotions trying to heal. Not looking forward to it :/
Definitely gonna hurt. Let my guard down and showed her my soft side. Something may only 3-4 poeple have seen in my entire life. Wish I hadn't now. Still going to be her friend if things don't work out and maybe she will come around, but I'm not counting on it. If she does, I will have to see how I feel then.
Definitely going to be going through a roller coaster of emotions trying to heal. Not looking forward to it :/
Yes you were doing it all wrong.
Watch, practice, learn and apply.
Watch, practice, learn and apply.
Posted by Phantom_Limbo
This would probably be a deal-breaker for me, I have to admit. It would worry me that your first reaction to a problem is to use violence or the threat thereof. I don't believe that might makes right, and I think violent impulses are impulses we should work to control.
Definitely understand where you are coming from. What's funny is this kind of reaction is kind of rare for me. Im normally pretty chill and level headed. I don't know why I overreacted though. Usually I handle things with a little more tact. Usually I'm the first one to walk away from a fight, unless it's to protect someone I care about. I have done stuff like this before, but under different circumstances and pretty rarely.
I guess it's because I have such strong feelings for her and maybe got a little overprotective? Or maybe because I've shown her my soft side lately, that I felt I had to prove myself as a man? Idk... Still trying to understand my reaction. I know it was inappropriate for sure. Just don't know why I felt I had to act so strongly.
Even if things end with this woman, the one thing I can say is I've learned as much about myself as I have about her. I've learned what I need to change and even why some of my previous relationships didn't work out. So in the end, I don't regret it, just wish I could have done a better job....
despite what some people are saying here i think what you did was right, maybe you could have said it in a nicer way with better choice of words. In the end you were defending her .
im baffled that she wants to to think about it now , probably from her own issues. her brothers really toxic
im baffled that she wants to to think about it now , probably from her own issues. her brothers really toxic
Posted by Black-Mamba
you must have low self esteem to simp this hard especially on a women who sleeps around like that
I go back and forth. I had good self esteem when things started, but stress and some unfortunate circumstances kind of put me in a depression. Haven't recovered from that. Maybe you are right though...
You remind me of my scorpio best friend
Oh boy
If you like it fuck it and screw everyone else
Although she does sound like a misguided virgo.... its love out there for everyone!!!
Oh boy
If you like it fuck it and screw everyone else
Although she does sound like a misguided virgo.... its love out there for everyone!!!
Posted by ImpulsvPosted by sweetpea2977Posted by Impulsv
I think the brother is right in his assessment n you should run from the disfunction
I agree. Additionally I'd say to let her go.
I mean 3 kids with different fathers. Disfunctíonal family. N she defends the distinction!!click to expand
Wont lie... It did bother me at first, but I guess I learned to accept it. I have two boys from different mother's, but if I'm honest, I met my oldest's mother when she was pregnant and was there for his birth, so to me, he is my son. But that is not her situation...
Posted by Black-Mamba
i hope you're not a cancer
oh lord
You'll probably think it's worse than that... I'm a Scorpio lol
Posted by Phantom_Limbo
By the way, I'm really sorry you're going through heartache. I understand the impulse to go overboard for someone you care about, even though, as I said, it might be a deal-breaker for me.
Thanks... It has always been hard for me to not jump in head first. Has been a problem before. Guess I never learned lol
Posted by leooox
despite what people are saying here i think what you did was right, maybe you could have said it in a nicer way with better choice of words. In the end you were defending her .
im baffled that she wants to to think about it now , probably from her own issues. her brothers really toxic
Thank you... In my heart I feel like I had the right intentions and will not sacrifice my morals and values. However, like someone already said... My delivery was shit lol
Posted by ELIGAB
You remind me of my scorpio best friend
Oh boy
If you like it fuck it and screw everyone else
Although she does sound like a misguided virgo.... its love out there for everyone!!!
Well, she is definitely misguided the more I think about it. I guess I was willing to look past that because I've seen her good side. She may be overly sexual and not have any respect for herself, but the woman I've known is always there for everyone, loves animals, is a good mother, and has always been a loving person and a good friend. But I'm trying to be objective here and maybe I fooled myself into believing this. I don't think so, but not going to rule it out just yet....
Guess we will see what happens when she comes back around...
Posted by justledouxit86Posted by leooox
despite what people are saying here i think what you did was right, maybe you could have said it in a nicer way with better choice of words. In the end you were defending her .
im baffled that she wants to to think about it now , probably from her own issues. her brothers really toxic
Thank you... In my heart I feel like I had the right intentions and will not sacrifice my morals and values. However, like someone already said... My delivery was shit lolclick to expand
but i understand in the heat of the moment stuff like that can slip out. as long as you follow your heart it should be fine, im sure you care for her alot
Posted by Phantom_Limbo
If all of that is true, time will tell it, and maybe she'll come around. I just wouldn't force anything since overuse of force is what upset her.
For now, I'm just going to let her have her space and see what happens. Not going to do or say anything until I hear from her again. She didn't unfriend me on social media, but I decided to change my privacy settings so she can't see anything. Don't want to go as far as to block her, but still don't need her seeing any impulsive posts I make if I'm upset (or drunk lol)
I guess only time will tell. Trying not to get my hopes up and preparing myself to move on, but it's not going to be easy for me...
Posted by Black-MambaPosted by justledouxit86Posted by Black-Mamba
Is she a Virgo?
Yup lol
smhclick to expand
Haha Yeah it's a first for me and definitely been a struggle learning to control my emotions and not read too much into her coldness.
So I agree with a few points some others have had. I can, however, see both sides to this situation since something similar happened in my family.
Background: I have 2 older twin sisters. One of them is a bit of a junky. She has a lot of mental issues, most of it stems from PTSD she got from being in the front lines of war while in the Army(Desert Storm).
So the other twin had this fiance, wont go long into that story but he was a douch bag. He is an ex Marine who now contracts with the military... basicly he is a mercenary, that's all I'm aloud to say. Anyway...so I guess my sis with the fiance vented a lot about her junky twin and it would piss him off and he actually told his superiors about her and had her dealer investigated. Which pissed the family off because this is a family matter and he shouldn't have gotten the military involved... which is why I gave him the nickname douchbag. One night my sisters were hanging out and in front of the junky twins son, douchbag went up to my sister and got in her face, yelled at her and threatened to punch her.... tells her that he kills people like her for a living and all this crap, outside on her front lawn screaming for all her neighbors to hear.
Needless to say the family was none to happy with him afterwards.... and about a month or so later my sister broke off her engagement and basicly kicked him out of her home. My sister was in love with this guy, love of her life, best sex shes ever had, yadda yadda. But my point is.... no matter what shit a particular family member has done..... you dont fuck with a family member when you dont belong to that family....we may have tolerated it a little more if he had waited till after they were married for a bit, but not before. And in your case, you weren't even officially dating.
On the other side.... I can see why you wanted to defend your womans honor so I dont think you were wrong in how you feel and your right he shouldn't be talking to her like that but I think you handled it badly by threatening physical harm.
As for her, she sounds like she had a lot of insecurity issues and you may be better off with out her and find someone who has the same values as you do. I know it hurts now but you will happier in the long run. Plenty of fish in the sea as they say! Good luck, and sorry this was so long 🙂
Background: I have 2 older twin sisters. One of them is a bit of a junky. She has a lot of mental issues, most of it stems from PTSD she got from being in the front lines of war while in the Army(Desert Storm).
So the other twin had this fiance, wont go long into that story but he was a douch bag. He is an ex Marine who now contracts with the military... basicly he is a mercenary, that's all I'm aloud to say. Anyway...so I guess my sis with the fiance vented a lot about her junky twin and it would piss him off and he actually told his superiors about her and had her dealer investigated. Which pissed the family off because this is a family matter and he shouldn't have gotten the military involved... which is why I gave him the nickname douchbag. One night my sisters were hanging out and in front of the junky twins son, douchbag went up to my sister and got in her face, yelled at her and threatened to punch her.... tells her that he kills people like her for a living and all this crap, outside on her front lawn screaming for all her neighbors to hear.
Needless to say the family was none to happy with him afterwards.... and about a month or so later my sister broke off her engagement and basicly kicked him out of her home. My sister was in love with this guy, love of her life, best sex shes ever had, yadda yadda. But my point is.... no matter what shit a particular family member has done..... you dont fuck with a family member when you dont belong to that family....we may have tolerated it a little more if he had waited till after they were married for a bit, but not before. And in your case, you weren't even officially dating.
On the other side.... I can see why you wanted to defend your womans honor so I dont think you were wrong in how you feel and your right he shouldn't be talking to her like that but I think you handled it badly by threatening physical harm.
As for her, she sounds like she had a lot of insecurity issues and you may be better off with out her and find someone who has the same values as you do. I know it hurts now but you will happier in the long run. Plenty of fish in the sea as they say! Good luck, and sorry this was so long 🙂
Posted by justledouxit86Posted by ELIGAB
You remind me of my scorpio best friend
Oh boy
If you like it fuck it and screw everyone else
Although she does sound like a misguided virgo.... its love out there for everyone!!!
Well, she is definitely misguided the more I think about it. I guess I was willing to look past that because I've seen her good side. She may be overly sexual and not have any respect for herself, but the woman I've known is always there for everyone, loves animals, is a good mother, and has always been a loving person and a good friend. But I'm trying to be objective here and maybe I fooled myself into believing this. I don't think so, but not going to rule it out just yet....
Guess we will see what happens when she comes back around...click to expand
Yeaa overly sexed for real... 3 kids, I never met a virgo like this lol...
But everything else is correct, we are great people, poor taste in love...
Doesnt mean she doesn't deserve love
My scorpio best friend just had a kid with a cap that already have 3 kids and I hate her guts... lol...
But my bro love her so I deal... but with that being said my bestie thrive in crisis. Is that you?? You notice she have alot going and you still go forward
Posted by leoooxPosted by justledouxit86Posted by leooox
despite what people are saying here i think what you did was right, maybe you could have said it in a nicer way with better choice of words. In the end you were defending her .
im baffled that she wants to to think about it now , probably from her own issues. her brothers really toxic
Thank you... In my heart I feel like I had the right intentions and will not sacrifice my morals and values. However, like someone already said... My delivery was shit lol
but i understand in the heat of the moment stuff like that can slip out. as long as you follow your heart it should be fine, im sure you care for her alotclick to expand
Trying to find the balance between following my heart and guarding it. I do care a lot and it was definitely a in the heat of the moment thing, not that I make any excuses. Im man enough to admit when I'm wrong... Or at least acted wrong.
Posted by Black-MambaPosted by justledouxit86Posted by Black-Mamba
Is she a Virgo?
Yup lol
smhclick to expand
Killin me!!!!!
I thought she looked like it too🤭
Like one of those Virgo chicks who takes themselves wayyy too seriously but pretends they are down to earth and joke around a lot...but only they are allowed to be sarcastic apparently ...because if you try to joke back they take it all personal and make it superrrr awkward 😳
I have an aunt like this and she’s a daywalker too
Posted by SeaLion
So I agree with a few points some others have had. I can, however, see both sides to this situation since something similar happened in my family.
Background: I have 2 older twin sisters. One of them is a bit of a junky. She has a lot of mental issues, most of it stems from PTSD she got from being in the front lines of war while in the Army(Desert Storm).
So the other twin had this fiance, wont go long into that story but he was a douch bag. He is an ex Marine who now contracts with the military... basicly he is a mercenary, that's all I'm aloud to say. Anyway...so I guess my sis with the fiance vented a lot about her junky twin and it would piss him off and he actually told his superiors about her and had her dealer investigated. Which pissed the family off because this is a family matter and he shouldn't have gotten the military involved... which is why I gave him the nickname douchbag. One night my sisters were hanging out and in front of the junky twins son, douchbag went up to my sister and got in her face, yelled at her and threatened to punch her.... tells her that he kills people like her for a living and all this crap, outside on her front lawn screaming for all her neighbors to hear.
Needless to say the family was none to happy with him afterwards.... and about a month or so later my sister broke off her engagement and basicly kicked him out of her home. My sister was in love with this guy, love of her life, best sex shes ever had, yadda yadda. But my point is.... no matter what shit a particular family member has done..... you dont fuck with a family member when you dont belong to that family....we may have tolerated it a little more if he had waited till after they were married for a bit, but not before. And in your case, you weren't even officially dating.
On the other side.... I can see why you wanted to defend your womans honor so I dont think you were wrong in how you feel and your right he shouldn't be talking to her like that but I think you handled it badly by threatening physical harm.
As for her, she sounds like she had a lot of insecurity issues and you may be better off with out her and find someone who has the same values as you do. I know it hurts now but you will happier in the long run. Plenty of fish in the sea as they say! Good luck, and sorry this was so long 🙂
Thanks for sharing your story with me... Definitely get where you are coming from on that end of the spectrum.
You also bring up something that may have some context in my situation.... Both me and her suffer from severe PTSD. She was there during the Columbine shooting. I also suspect (though don't know for sure) she was sexually abused as a child and teenager.
I worked with the border patrol and sheriff's department in the K9 search and rescue along the Arizona / Mexico border. Saw a lot of violence stemming from drug smuggling and the Mexican cartels. I had it long before that, mostly caused by some abuse and other traumatic experiences in my childhood. I also have a TBI (traumatic brain injury) that causes some problems for me... Mostly memory loss though.
I'm glad you mentioned PTSD, because I think it give some context to both of our reactions. Maybe not, but I could see how it might. I'll have to give that some thought and maybe it will explain some things...
Since my girl black-mamba already paved the way for me I’m just going to go ahead and say what I really really think
you seem like a nice guy, quite gentlemanly, and you are not ugly. But’cha girl...😬 she’s a bit homely if I’m honest and I wouldn’t even give her the satisfaction or confident boost in pursuing this any further. She’s no longer interested in you — Just LOL
you seem like a nice guy, quite gentlemanly, and you are not ugly. But’cha girl...😬 she’s a bit homely if I’m honest and I wouldn’t even give her the satisfaction or confident boost in pursuing this any further. She’s no longer interested in you — Just LOL
Whewwwie
I feel so much better
Thanks CC👌🏻
I feel so much better
Thanks CC👌🏻
Yeaa overly sexed for real... 3 kids, I never met a virgo like this lol...
But everything else is correct, we are great people, poor taste in love...
Doesnt mean she doesn't deserve love
My scorpio best friend just had a kid with a cap that already have 3 kids and I hate her guts... lol...
But my bro love her so I deal... but with that being said my bestie thrive in crisis. Is that you?? You notice she have alot going and you still go forward
Yeah, I hate to say it, but somehow I always end up trying to fix everyone else's problems. I definitely tend to be the "rescuer" in my relationships. Something I've tried to work on because I know it's not healthy, but it's still my first instinct.
She wasn't going through a lot when we first started dating, but stuff has definitely piled up along the way. She is going through a custody battle now, being sued by a bank after her ex declared bankruptcy and left her holding the bag on a car they bought together, and she is out of a job soon and has only found part time work (not due to anything she did, just her bosses circumstances).
I do think she deserves love and I am willing to accept her past as part of who she is, but only if it's not who she STILL is. I don't see her doing that stuff anymore, but like I said, doesnt mean it isn't happening... Have to live in reality I guess...
Yeaa overly sexed for real... 3 kids, I never met a virgo like this lol...
But everything else is correct, we are great people, poor taste in love...
Doesnt mean she doesn't deserve love
My scorpio best friend just had a kid with a cap that already have 3 kids and I hate her guts... lol...
But my bro love her so I deal... but with that being said my bestie thrive in crisis. Is that you?? You notice she have alot going and you still go forward
Yeah, I hate to say it, but somehow I always end up trying to fix everyone else's problems. I definitely tend to be the "rescuer" in my relationships. Something I've tried to work on because I know it's not healthy, but it's still my first instinct.
She wasn't going through a lot when we first started dating, but stuff has definitely piled up along the way. She is going through a custody battle now, being sued by a bank after her ex declared bankruptcy and left her holding the bag on a car they bought together, and she is out of a job soon and has only found part time work (not due to anything she did, just her bosses circumstances).
I do think she deserves love and I am willing to accept her past as part of who she is, but only if it's not who she STILL is. I don't see her doing that stuff anymore, but like I said, doesnt mean it isn't happening... Have to live in reality I guess...
Posted by brianafayPosted by Black-MambaPosted by justledouxit86Posted by Black-Mamba
Is she a Virgo?
Yup lol
smh
Killin me!!!!!
I thought she looked like it too🤭
Like one of those Virgo chicks who takes themselves wayyy too seriously but pretends they are down to earth and joke around a lot...but only they are allowed to be sarcastic apparently ...because if you try to joke back they take it all personal and make it superrrr awkward 😳
I have an aunt like this and she’s a daywalker tooclick to expand
Me and her definitely have the same sarcastic humor, but I don't think she has ever been offended by anything I've said... Though I try extra hard with her to be respectful in what I say. But she does take herself too seriously sometimes...
Posted by Timon
I can't help wonder how they were raised if he said that infront of his mother to his sister and neither said anything. So disrespectful and not funny at all. I understand the wanting to stick up for her but if she allows him to talk to her like that she might not have much respect for herself.
You could have said something without threatening with violence though.
I agree... I don't believe she has any respect for herself. I was also disappointed her mother would allow that talk... I thought her mother was more like mine up until this point. Don't have as much respect for her anymore.
You know what, when she comes back around just link her here. I’ll take care of this 😂
Posted by brianafay
Since my girl black-mamba already paved the way for me I’m just going to go ahead and say what I really really think
you seem like a nice guy, quite gentlemanly, and you are not ugly. But’cha girl...😬 she’s a bit homely if I’m honest and I wouldn’t even give her the satisfaction or confident boost in pursuing this any further. She’s no longer interested in you — Just LOL
Not sure how to reply to that, but thanks lol I appreciate honesty. I have a different idea of beautiful than a lot of people, so some (not all) of the women I date wouldn't rate high on most people's scale of attractive. But to me she is attractive... Guess because of the good I do see in her. Maybe I will see things differently in time. Definitely done have as high of an opinion of some of my exes as I did at the time. Most were very fake though, esp the attractive and super affectionate ones... Which I think is why I liked this girl. She doesn't hide who she is once you get past her rough exterior.
Thanks for everyone's replies... Does help me to hear different view points. Don be afraid to give it to me straight... I'll take honesty every time, even if it stings a bit.
Don't know yet how I want to handle things if she comes back around. Will need time to process I guess. Trying to stay objective and think logically about things (not my strong suit lol). My gut told me in the beginning she would be worth it. Right now my gut just says drink more beer lol Going to focus on myself for right now and see what happens. Wasn't looking for a relationship before this because I had given up on having the family I wanted. But this reminded me I am capable of being in love again and do still want that. So either way, it's been a learning experience. What becomes of things with her, I guess I'll know in time....Going to try to not let my emotions rule me though... Hard as that may be for this Scorpio lol
Don't know yet how I want to handle things if she comes back around. Will need time to process I guess. Trying to stay objective and think logically about things (not my strong suit lol). My gut told me in the beginning she would be worth it. Right now my gut just says drink more beer lol Going to focus on myself for right now and see what happens. Wasn't looking for a relationship before this because I had given up on having the family I wanted. But this reminded me I am capable of being in love again and do still want that. So either way, it's been a learning experience. What becomes of things with her, I guess I'll know in time....Going to try to not let my emotions rule me though... Hard as that may be for this Scorpio lol
Posted by Alexina
Let things unfold naturally... If circumstances don't yield your desired outcome, just go with the flow of life... Who knows, you'll meet someone who's more worthy of your time and love along your journey should this current relationship not work out for you...
Guess all I can do is go with the flow at this point. I know I've done everything I could. If she doesn't want to be anything more than friends, I'll just accept that. Once I move on though, I rarely let anyone back in. So I guess we will see how the timeline unfolds.
Unfortunately, I can't do anything but sit back and worry about taking care of myself, which is exactly what I plan on doing. Whatever happens from here out, is what it is... If I meet someone else, I'm not gonna hold out. But really won't be out there looking or anything. Gave up trying to find someone long before this, but not closed off to a real relationship if it presents itself. I'll see what happens
Posted by Black-MambaPosted by brianafay
Since my girl black-mamba already paved the way for me I’m just going to go ahead and say what I really really think
you seem like a nice guy, quite gentlemanly, and you are not ugly. But’cha girl...😬 she’s a bit homely if I’m honest and I wouldn’t even give her the satisfaction or confident boost in pursuing this any further. She’s no longer interested in you — Just LOL
Have you ever watched the movie "Gods must be crazy"? It's an excellent film. A lone African nomad gets hit on the head by an empty coke bottle, and he can't figure out what the use of the bottle is.
This is how i feel about this whole thread
GOD must be Fuking CRAZY!!!
click to expand
That actually happens to be a favorite of mine... Have the second one too lol Maybe it all is crazy... Idk anymore... Gonna take time for me to process all this I think
Posted by brianafayPosted by Black-MambaPosted by justledouxit86Posted by Black-Mamba
Is she a Virgo?
Yup lol
smh
Killin me!!!!!
I thought she looked like it too🤭
Like one of those Virgo chicks who takes themselves wayyy too seriously but pretends they are down to earth and joke around a lot...but only they are allowed to be sarcastic apparently ...because if you try to joke back they take it all personal and make it superrrr awkward 😳
I have an aunt like this and she’s a daywalker tooclick to expand
Looked like it how where?? The only reason virgo was mentioned is because I mentioned it..
It was a cruel joke brother or not
But when virgo jokes come flying, they're way too harsh but whatev
Posted by ELIGABPosted by brianafayPosted by Black-MambaPosted by justledouxit86Posted by Black-Mamba
Is she a Virgo?
Yup lol
smh
Killin me!!!!!
I thought she looked like it too🤭
Like one of those Virgo chicks who takes themselves wayyy too seriously but pretends they are down to earth and joke around a lot...but only they are allowed to be sarcastic apparently ...because if you try to joke back they take it all personal and make it superrrr awkward 😳
I have an aunt like this and she’s a daywalker too
Looked like it how where?? The only reason virgo was mentioned is because I mentioned it..
It was a cruel joke brother or not
But when virgo jokes come flying, they're way too harsh but whatev
click to expand
Posted by brianafayPosted by ELIGABPosted by brianafayPosted by Black-MambaPosted by justledouxit86Posted by Black-Mamba
Is she a Virgo?
Yup lol
smh
Killin me!!!!!
I thought she looked like it too🤭
Like one of those Virgo chicks who takes themselves wayyy too seriously but pretends they are down to earth and joke around a lot...but only they are allowed to be sarcastic apparently ...because if you try to joke back they take it all personal and make it superrrr awkward 😳
I have an aunt like this and she’s a daywalker too
Looked like it how where?? The only reason virgo was mentioned is because I mentioned it..
It was a cruel joke brother or not
But when virgo jokes come flying, they're way too harsh but whatev
click to expand
Mhmm hmm
Correct 🙄
If you are ok dating a woman who has 3! kids by different fathers - why would you be surprised if her brother saying shit about her?
You don’t seem to be so choosy.
I can hardly understand any of this.
Sick on all levels...
You don’t seem to be so choosy.
I can hardly understand any of this.
Sick on all levels...
Posted by Black-Mamba
you must have low self esteem to simp this hard especially on a women who sleeps around like that
Bingo!
Seems like some white trash situation here...whatever...
Posted by HearttofTopazz
Physical threats aren’t okay.. regardless of the situation, or emotions involved. It’s really not up to you to establish boundaries for her, but you can always control yourself. 👌
Everyone in this situation is full of booboo.
Right! If you want to knock teeth out - don’t say it - do it! IMO
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Took the girl I'm seeing, her mom, and her brother (who is 21) to a concert last night. I paid for everything and we had a great time! This is my first time meeting her brother. Me and her aren't official but have been dating for 5 months and friends for 6yrs.
Anyway, when we were driving back her brother made a comment to me that I found very disrespectful towards his sister. Can't recall the exact words, but he said something along the lines of his sister is easy and will put out. That she has 3 kids with different dads, so that should be obvious. That I shouldn't try so hard. He said all this in front of her and his mom.
I was raised to respect women and would NEVER say something like that about my sister, none the less right in front of her! I respect this woman a lot and have strong feelings for her. To me, it came off as a passive aggressive snyde comment. When I care about someone, I stand up for them! Doesn't matter if it's family saying that crap or not.
So, when we dropped him off, I told him I wanted a word with him. I took him aside and told him that if he ever disrespected his sister like that, I would knock his teeth out. Looking back, I didn't handle it with much tact, but it seemed like the quickest way to get the message across.
Well, now me and her aren't talking for a couple days because she needs space to think about it. She is mad because I threatened her brother... Though I would never actually hurt him and she knows that. She says she has never been disrespected on so many levels... Though her ex cheated on her 8 times and was abusive and controlling (maybe this is some of the source of her anger at me... Maybe she worries I will be like that?), so I just don't understand that comment.
She says they joke like that all the time and it doesnt bother her. I just don't understand that and don't see how it is appropriate at all. I was raised differently I guess. However, had I known that was how they joked, I probably would have kept my mouth shut. But how was I to know? Should I have asked her if it bothered her? Even if it did, she would just say it doesn't in the moment to avoid confrontation.
I guess I feel like I did the right thing but in the wrong way.
So, my questions:
1) Was I completely out of line? If so, please explain why and help me understand.
2) How would you have handled it or how SHOULD I have handled it?
3) How do I proceed from here?
I really want something with this girl and I think she wants something with me. I know she will come around when she is ready and I will give her all the space she needs. I've told her to take whatever time she needs and that I'll be here when she is ready.
I'm scared she is going to end things when she comes back around. I don't know if there is anything I can do to salvage the situation... I am very protective of the people I care about, but am not controlling and sure as hell would never hurt her or her family, despite what I said. So, help me figure out where to go from here.. is she better off without me? If it will mean she is happier and if it's what she wants, I will bow out quietly. I really hope I dont have to though.
Give it to me straight... I'm open to changing my views and behavior if I believe I was wrong. I need to hear other people's view points. Thanks