Was I wrong to do it? (Page 2)

Posted by -Damous

I didn’t read much, but if I’ve got this right. She’s got 3 baby daddies?

She’s no longer interested in you over a thingy? Overreaction? That you agree you could’ve handled better? Save yourself those 7 headaches. At the very least 4.

Posted by Impulsv

Posted by Black-Mamba

Posted by brianafay

Since my girl black-mamba already paved the way for me I’m just going to go ahead and say what I really really think

you seem like a nice guy, quite gentlemanly, and you are not ugly. But’cha girl...😬 she’s a bit homely if I’m honest and I wouldn’t even give her the satisfaction or confident boost in pursuing this any further. She’s no longer interested in you — Just LOL

Have you ever watched the movie "Gods must be crazy"? It's an excellent film. A lone African nomad gets hit on the head by an empty coke bottle, and he can't figure out what the use of the bottle is.

This is how i feel about this whole thread

GOD must be Fuking CRAZY!!!

Right!

How can a nice guy go for a mess

click to expand

Posted by -Damous

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by -Damous

I didn’t read much, but if I’ve got this right. She’s got 3 baby daddies?

She’s no longer interested in you over a thingy? Overreaction? That you agree you could’ve handled better? Save yourself those 7 headaches. At the very least 4.

Man’s loss is feeding 3 someone else’s kids! Fuck! It’s awful! 🤦‍♀️😂

You’re always so understanding 🙂

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Posted by Alexina

Posted by ELIGAB

Posted by brianafay

Posted by Black-Mamba

Posted by justledouxit86

Posted by Black-Mamba

Is she a Virgo?

Yup lol

smh

Killin me!!!!!

I thought she looked like it too🤭

Like one of those Virgo chicks who takes themselves wayyy too seriously but pretends they are down to earth and joke around a lot...but only they are allowed to be sarcastic apparently ...because if you try to joke back they take it all personal and make it superrrr awkward 😳

I have an aunt like this and she’s a daywalker too

Looked like it how where?? The only reason virgo was mentioned is because I mentioned it..

It was a cruel joke brother or not

But when virgo jokes come flying, they're way too harsh but whatev

I'm a Virgo but I didn't find the Virgo joke harsh... Actually, brianafay speaks the truth about (most) some Virgos lol...

The only time one will get offended by the line "Looked like it too", is if one fail to realize that the other 11 signs have unattractive faces too...

click to expand

Posted by Alexina

Posted by ELIGAB

Posted by Alexina

Posted by ELIGAB

Posted by brianafay

Posted by Black-Mamba

Posted by justledouxit86

Posted by Black-Mamba

Is she a Virgo?

Yup lol

smh

Killin me!!!!!

I thought she looked like it too🤭

Like one of those Virgo chicks who takes themselves wayyy too seriously but pretends they are down to earth and joke around a lot...but only they are allowed to be sarcastic apparently ...because if you try to joke back they take it all personal and make it superrrr awkward 😳

I have an aunt like this and she’s a daywalker too

Looked like it how where?? The only reason virgo was mentioned is because I mentioned it..

It was a cruel joke brother or not

But when virgo jokes come flying, they're way too harsh but whatev

I'm a Virgo but I didn't find the Virgo joke harsh... Actually, brianafay speaks the truth about (most) some Virgos lol...

The only time one will get offended by the line "Looked like it too", is if one fail to realize that the other 11 signs have unattractive faces too...

Well I'm a virgo and I it find harsh

I guess we the same huh?? Not

And I'll be offended by whatever I want. I guess you the know it all virgo talking about "fail to realize"

I realize you need to have several seats

Whatevs float your boat, but you're way too sensitive to take a forum post seriously when it doesn't even aim at you personally lol

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Posted by Alexina

Posted by ELIGAB

Posted by Alexina

Posted by ELIGAB

Posted by brianafay

Posted by Black-Mamba

Posted by justledouxit86

Posted by Black-Mamba

Is she a Virgo?

Yup lol

smh

Killin me!!!!!

I thought she looked like it too🤭

Like one of those Virgo chicks who takes themselves wayyy too seriously but pretends they are down to earth and joke around a lot...but only they are allowed to be sarcastic apparently ...because if you try to joke back they take it all personal and make it superrrr awkward 😳

I have an aunt like this and she’s a daywalker too

Looked like it how where?? The only reason virgo was mentioned is because I mentioned it..

It was a cruel joke brother or not

But when virgo jokes come flying, they're way too harsh but whatev

I'm a Virgo but I didn't find the Virgo joke harsh... Actually, brianafay speaks the truth about (most) some Virgos lol...

The only time one will get offended by the line "Looked like it too", is if one fail to realize that the other 11 signs have unattractive faces too...

Well I'm a virgo and I it find harsh

I guess we the same huh?? Not

And I'll be offended by whatever I want. I guess you the know it all virgo talking about "fail to realize"

I realize you need to have several seats

Whatevs float your boat, but you're way too sensitive to take a forum post seriously when it doesn't even aim at you personally lol

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Posted by justledouxit86

Posted by starlord

Posted by brianafay

How to fix it: just take responsibility for your part and apologize for overstepping

Have a beer with her brother and make it clear you care for his sister and you’re not going anywhere so you two need to just squash it and move on

Based on this, I can't imagibe the brother is the type and age to go out and have a beer? 🤔

He is 21... I guess I will find out how mature he is because I plan on making an attempt to apologize in person. Adding the beers may help lol

click to expand

Posted by brianafay

Posted by Black-Mamba

Posted by justledouxit86

Posted by Black-Mamba

Is she a Virgo?

Yup lol

smh

Killin me!!!!!

I thought she looked like it too🤭

Like one of those Virgo chicks who takes themselves wayyy too seriously but pretends they are down to earth and joke around a lot...but only they are allowed to be sarcastic apparently ...because if you try to joke back they take it all personal and make it superrrr awkward 😳

I have an aunt like this and she’s a daywalker too

click to expand

Posted by ItsSupes2

This dude got Sun, Merc AND Venus in Scorp.

No wonder he has such a fan club already

Posted by LostinmyMind11

Posted by brianafay

Posted by Black-Mamba

Posted by justledouxit86

Posted by Black-Mamba

Is she a Virgo?

Yup lol

smh

Killin me!!!!!

I thought she looked like it too🤭

Like one of those Virgo chicks who takes themselves wayyy too seriously but pretends they are down to earth and joke around a lot...but only they are allowed to be sarcastic apparently ...because if you try to joke back they take it all personal and make it superrrr awkward 😳

I have an aunt like this and she’s a daywalker too

I told you this in confidence! 😭

click to expand

Posted by brianafay

Posted by LostinmyMind11

Posted by brianafay

Posted by Black-Mamba

Posted by justledouxit86

Posted by Black-Mamba

Is she a Virgo?

Yup lol

smh

Killin me!!!!!

I thought she looked like it too🤭

Like one of those Virgo chicks who takes themselves wayyy too seriously but pretends they are down to earth and joke around a lot...but only they are allowed to be sarcastic apparently ...because if you try to joke back they take it all personal and make it superrrr awkward 😳

I have an aunt like this and she’s a daywalker too

I told you this in confidence! 😭

I 100% don’t even consider you a Virgo because you’re blessed with a Leo moon

click to expand

Posted by Phantom_Limbo

Posted by brianafay

Posted by LostinmyMind11

Posted by brianafay

Posted by Black-Mamba

Posted by justledouxit86

Posted by Black-Mamba

Is she a Virgo?

Yup lol

smh

Killin me!!!!!

I thought she looked like it too🤭

Like one of those Virgo chicks who takes themselves wayyy too seriously but pretends they are down to earth and joke around a lot...but only they are allowed to be sarcastic apparently ...because if you try to joke back they take it all personal and make it superrrr awkward 😳

I have an aunt like this and she’s a daywalker too

I told you this in confidence! 😭

I 100% don’t even consider you a Virgo because you’re blessed with a Leo moon

I always have to remind myself that LIM isn’t a Scorpio. Does Virgo +Leo equal Scorpio?

click to expand

Posted by ItsSupes2

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by ItsSupes2

This dude got Sun, Merc AND Venus in Scorp.

No wonder he has such a fan club already

You mean If he wasn’t a Scorpio his ass wouldn’t be kissed as hard?

Exactly. scorps get a hard pass daily up in here

click to expand

Posted by Phantom_Limbo

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by ItsSupes2

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by ItsSupes2

This dude got Sun, Merc AND Venus in Scorp.

No wonder he has such a fan club already

You mean If he wasn’t a Scorpio his ass wouldn’t be kissed as hard?

Exactly. scorps get a hard pass daily up in here

Someone said Arieses do because if babies of the zodiac...

I don’t give a shit even I am big on Scorpios...he sounds like a nice guy with white trash living. And everyone said he was wrong to talk to brother like that and I think he should just punch him in a face...silently.

And all this shit ‘in our family’ is a bull!

All I’ve heard are people mortified when shot on by family members in front of people they are dating!

Apparently Dxp members are different!

Come to my family and insult someone. You’ll see the bull materialize into something real very fast.

click to expand

Posted by Phantom_Limbo

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by Phantom_Limbo

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by ItsSupes2

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by ItsSupes2

This dude got Sun, Merc AND Venus in Scorp.

No wonder he has such a fan club already

You mean If he wasn’t a Scorpio his ass wouldn’t be kissed as hard?

Exactly. scorps get a hard pass daily up in here

Someone said Arieses do because if babies of the zodiac...

I don’t give a shit even I am big on Scorpios...he sounds like a nice guy with white trash living. And everyone said he was wrong to talk to brother like that and I think he should just punch him in a face...silently.

And all this shit ‘in our family’ is a bull!

All I’ve heard are people mortified when shot on by family members in front of people they are dating!

Apparently Dxp members are different!

Come to my family and insult someone. You’ll see the bull materialize into something real very fast.

Oh really big bad wolf?

So you are ok if your family will insult you in front of your husband? Classy and wonderful! Enjoy being shit on.

I hope he is enjoying as well...

My husband is part of my family. The OP is not even an official boyfriend.

click to expand

Posted by Phantom_Limbo

Posted by ItsSupes2

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by ItsSupes2

This dude got Sun, Merc AND Venus in Scorp.

No wonder he has such a fan club already

You mean If he wasn’t a Scorpio his ass wouldn’t be kissed as hard?

Exactly. scorps get a hard pass daily up in here

Lol

What are you mad about?

click to expand

Posted by Black-Mamba

Posted by ELIGAB

Posted by brianafay

Posted by Black-Mamba

Posted by justledouxit86

Posted by Black-Mamba

Is she a Virgo?

Yup lol

smh

Killin me!!!!!

I thought she looked like it too🤭

Like one of those Virgo chicks who takes themselves wayyy too seriously but pretends they are down to earth and joke around a lot...but only they are allowed to be sarcastic apparently ...because if you try to joke back they take it all personal and make it superrrr awkward 😳

I have an aunt like this and she’s a daywalker too

Looked like it how where?? The only reason virgo was mentioned is because I mentioned it..

It was a cruel joke brother or not

But when virgo jokes come flying, they're way too harsh but whatev

Dude do you know how many slore virgos i know.

ya'll are very weak to the flesh

also you're own statements prove it

recall the advice you gave that chick that found out her dude was cheating.

you told her to go through a rotation of dicks

slores

click to expand

Posted by Black-Mamba

Posted by ELIGAB

Posted by brianafay

Posted by Black-Mamba

Posted by justledouxit86

Posted by Black-Mamba

Is she a Virgo?

Yup lol

smh

Killin me!!!!!

I thought she looked like it too🤭

Like one of those Virgo chicks who takes themselves wayyy too seriously but pretends they are down to earth and joke around a lot...but only they are allowed to be sarcastic apparently ...because if you try to joke back they take it all personal and make it superrrr awkward 😳

I have an aunt like this and she’s a daywalker too

Looked like it how where?? The only reason virgo was mentioned is because I mentioned it..

It was a cruel joke brother or not

But when virgo jokes come flying, they're way too harsh but whatev

Dude do you know how many slore virgos i know.

ya'll are very weak to the flesh

also you're own statements prove it

recall the advice you gave that chick that found out her dude was cheating.

you told her to go through a rotation of dicks

slores

click to expand

Posted by Black-Mamba

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by Black-Mamba

Posted by ELIGAB

Posted by brianafay

Posted by Black-Mamba

Posted by justledouxit86

Posted by Black-Mamba

Is she a Virgo?

Yup lol

smh

Killin me!!!!!

I thought she looked like it too🤭

Like one of those Virgo chicks who takes themselves wayyy too seriously but pretends they are down to earth and joke around a lot...but only they are allowed to be sarcastic apparently ...because if you try to joke back they take it all personal and make it superrrr awkward 😳

I have an aunt like this and she’s a daywalker too

Looked like it how where?? The only reason virgo was mentioned is because I mentioned it..

It was a cruel joke brother or not

But when virgo jokes come flying, they're way too harsh but whatev

Dude do you know how many slore virgos i know.

ya'll are very weak to the flesh

also you're own statements prove it

recall the advice you gave that chick that found out her dude was cheating.

you told her to go through a rotation of dicks

slores

How is it a bad advice? 💅🏻

I don't know. I just hate Virgos

let me have my fun

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Posted by justledouxit86

I need some opinions on this... Help me understand if I am wrong or if I did the right thing... I don't know anymore. Ill try to keep this as short as possible.

Took the girl I'm seeing, her mom, and her brother (who is 21) to a concert last night. I paid for everything and we had a great time! This is my first time meeting her brother. Me and her aren't official but have been dating for 5 months and friends for 6yrs.

Anyway, when we were driving back her brother made a comment to me that I found very disrespectful towards his sister. Can't recall the exact words, but he said something along the lines of his sister is easy and will put out. That she has 3 kids with different dads, so that should be obvious. That I shouldn't try so hard. He said all this in front of her and his mom.

I was raised to respect women and would NEVER say something like that about my sister, none the less right in front of her! I respect this woman a lot and have strong feelings for her. To me, it came off as a passive aggressive snyde comment. When I care about someone, I stand up for them! Doesn't matter if it's family saying that crap or not.

So, when we dropped him off, I told him I wanted a word with him. I took him aside and told him that if he ever disrespected his sister like that, I would knock his teeth out. Looking back, I didn't handle it with much tact, but it seemed like the quickest way to get the message across.

Well, now me and her aren't talking for a couple days because she needs space to think about it. She is mad because I threatened her brother... Though I would never actually hurt him and she knows that. She says she has never been disrespected on so many levels... Though her ex cheated on her 8 times and was abusive and controlling (maybe this is some of the source of her anger at me... Maybe she worries I will be like that?), so I just don't understand that comment.

She says they joke like that all the time and it doesnt bother her. I just don't understand that and don't see how it is appropriate at all. I was raised differently I guess. However, had I known that was how they joked, I probably would have kept my mouth shut. But how was I to know? Should I have asked her if it bothered her? Even if it did, she would just say it doesn't in the moment to avoid confrontation.

I guess I feel like I did the right thing but in the wrong way.

So, my questions:

1) Was I completely out of line? If so, please explain why and help me understand.

2) How would you have handled it or how SHOULD I have handled it?

3) How do I proceed from here?

I really want something with this girl and I think she wants something with me. I know she will come around when she is ready and I will give her all the space she needs. I've told her to take whatever time she needs and that I'll be here when she is ready.

I'm scared she is going to end things when she comes back around. I don't know if there is anything I can do to salvage the situation... I am very protective of the people I care about, but am not controlling and sure as hell would never hurt her or her family, despite what I said. So, help me figure out where to go from here.. is she better off without me? If it will mean she is happier and if it's what she wants, I will bow out quietly. I really hope I dont have to though.

Give it to me straight... I'm open to changing my views and behavior if I believe I was wrong. I need to hear other people's view points. Thanks

Posted by bkbella86

She sounds crazy I’m sorry and I believe she was lying about her brother joking. Nothing about that is funny. It’s not a joke at all and even if it were jokes are rooted in half truths.

I don’t think you first meeting him has any validity in this story. It didn’t matter to the brother that he was shit talking his sis to a stranger so why should it matter when you respond? I think you handled it right and I think your future girl is used to abuse.

Posted by justledouxit86

Posted by bkbella86

She sounds crazy I’m sorry and I believe she was lying about her brother joking. Nothing about that is funny. It’s not a joke at all and even if it were jokes are rooted in half truths.

I don’t think you first meeting him has any validity in this story. It didn’t matter to the brother that he was shit talking his sis to a stranger so why should it matter when you respond? I think you handled it right and I think your future girl is used to abuse.

Thank you for your reply! I tend to agree with you... I don't believe for one second it doesn't bother her on some level. I can tell now she has no respect for herself. I think maybe she has been disrespected and abused her whole life and at some point in her past said, fuck it, if they going to treat me that way, maybe I'll just own it and act that way... Idk. I've only know her for 6 years, and know only what little she has been willing to tell me about her past, which is way more than I think most people get from what I can tell, but not a whole lot. She just insists the past is the past when I ask her about something.

I still haven't heard back from her yet, but I'm thinking if anything is going to go forward with me and her, she will need to address this somehow. Therapy, space from her family, or idk what, but somethjg. I can't fix her problems, as much as i want to and have tried to show her what respect SHOULD look like. She has to see there is a problem there and change it.

I can't go the rest of my life biting my tongue because she is OK being treated that way. And if it's going to lead to a break or worse every time this happens, I don't know if I can handle that. I will definitely go about things differently with her family in the future if the opportunity arises, but I won't back down from my values and will not sit and watch someone I care about be abused and disrespected like that. Whether it's true or not... There is still a good soul under there who maybe just made some really bad decisions and deserves to be treated right if she will allow herself to be.

She either sees I am doing it because I respect her and tries to work on her self-respect, or eventually, I'll have to walk away. I feel like it will tear me down and make me someone I'm not proud of if I give in all the time. I can definitely approach things a little softer, but I can't sit and watch her just take that crap, knowing that there is no way in hell it doesn't hurt her on some level.

I'm not ready to give up on her yet though. I see a good woman underneath it all. A broken woman, but a good woman with a good heart none the less. I know I can't fix her or rescue her or even force her to fix any of it, but I can stand by her and love her if she is willing to try for herself. If she can't, then all I can do is be there until it becomes too unhealthy for me.

Going to see what happens if/when she comes around. I think if she wants to move forward, it's going to come with some conditions...

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Posted by bkbella86

She better gets some self respect. I’d hate for someone else to disrespect her putting you in another awkward position. Who wouldn’t want to defend the one they love?! Listen if you aren’t defending me I can’t date ya! I wouldn’t let ny brother talk to me or about me that way and he’d never! It’s just not normal. I say give her space. You want to maintain your dignity and you aren’t wrong, maintain that. Let her come to you. Space space space.

Posted by _Dazed

naw

Posted by justledouxit86

So, I get a text last night saying she is done being mad and that she knows that does no good. She says she feels like I put her between a rock and a hard spot with her family because now they want nothing to do with me, but that's not what she wants. I am ok having nothing to do with her family for the time being... Lost any respect I may have had for them after all that.

She says she isn't a damsel in distress and doesn't need me to stand up for her. I wanted to ask why she doesn't stand up for herself when he talks like that, but decided to wait until emotions aren't so fresh.

I did tell her that if we continue, we need to have a serious talk about what we both define respect as and how I feel she has no respect for herself. I apologized about doing it the wrong way, but told her that I can't back dowm from my values and still think he was wrong. Asked to talk to her brother so I could apologize face to face, but she says he probably won't talk to me any time soon. At least I tried... I had contacted him separately as well, but never heard back.

She didn't come out and apologize for anything, but she never does. She has her own way of apologizing and I felt that from her. I think it's a virgo thing from what I've read lol

Anyway, still not sure where I want to go from here. We are talking today, but not yet like we normally do. I asked her where she wants to go and she said right now she is too stressed to know what she really wants, so we need to take it day by day. She has a lot going on outside of this incident, which is why we have been taking it slow to begin with (will respond in more detail later to those who asked why we aren't official after 5 months... Have good reasons and we are both ok with it).

Anyway, open to constructive ideas and criticism on where to go from here. I still want a relationship with this woman, but this all has me thinking a little bit about what I am getting myself into. My gut and heart still says it's worth it, but logic has me questioning some things about how this will effect our/my future.