what just happened there?

i had last night planned out for a while. my musician buddies threw a holiday party/performance piece. it was open to the public but it was mostly a bunch of us friends. i was stoked!

so there's this guy i had been friends with for a while. we had a very tumultuous relationship so this past june i had to cut him off for a while (referring to the cap guy if anyone is following). his number is still on my phone and on thanksgiving i sent out a general text to everyone. he responded and things went from there. in the end he was to accompany me to the show.

so things were GREAT in the beginning. we were so excited to see each other! he seemed so giddy and happy. we get to the venue and everything is still great. the first half of the show we are talking quite a bit and especially about the music being played.

then all of a sudden his mood changed on the last half. he became extremely negative and looked bored as hell. it's ok if he didn't enjoy the music but it's like he completely shut down. it was really about having fun with friends and being merry. they just happen to be musicians and played some to make it more lively. it started really getting to me when he began to rag on the credibility of their talent. i tried to get him into the spirit but he was adamant about being like that. i even tried to get him to mingle with everyone, away from the music, and he just sat there texting away on his phone. socializing is normally right up his alley. i also suggested that we could leave and go on an adventure but he was immovable.

i am so disappointed. i'm a little upset because everyone around me was so joyous and for the first time i felt detached from it. not that i wanted to be. i just thought it would be appropriate to give him more priority since it had been so long. i'm upset at the sudden change in mood and attitude for no apparent reason. i don't like the snootiness or the pretentiousness. i'm confused. don't know whether i'm hurt or annoyed or both. don't know what to think about it tbh. still, i remain philosophical about the whole thing.

Well many things could've happend. 1. With him being a Cap, I'm sure his attitude in the beginning (all joyful) wasn't a front. I'm sure he really & sincerely felt good in the beginning. BUT, something he's been going through or dealing with could've popped up in his mind, thus changing his mood. And we all know that when it comes to Capricorn's they are NOT good at hiding their moods. When they are mad or down about something, they don't hide it very well. Who knows, something that probably had nothing to do with you might've came up in his mind that totally consumed him.
Yes, it was kind of selfish of him to ruin the moment & the experience, b/c after all, he could've made the best out of the experience with you (since it had been awhile since you 2 hung out) & then waited until he got home to sulk & pout.

2. If you were mingling alot & not even paying him any attention (w/o realizing it) his jealous side might've came out. Caps aren't necessarily attention-seekers to the point where they'll give people the silent treatment in public (if anything, they are very conscious about how they appear to others in public). He might've felt that you weren't paying him enough attention & thus assumed that if he showed you his bad mood that you'd start paying him some attention & perhaps even chase after him.

If I were you I would just talk to him about it. Like you said, you two have been friends for a while so it shouldn't hurt to open up that line of communication. You'd be suprised, he might just open up about what was bothering him. It probably has nothing to do with you. And just it case it does, atleast you'll know how he feels & why he reacted the way he did. Either way, I still think it was kind of immature to play the "silent treatment" game, b/c if anything, hell he should've been lucky that you went out with him instead of someone else. He needs to understand that if he was just going to act like he was too good to be where you guys were, that he could've just stayed home & you could've just taken someone else with you. Let him know that you don't appreciate how he was acting, b/c after all, his mood obviously affected you. It's not to say that he doesn't have the right to have other things on his mind, but it's quite rude & tacky to start insulting & throwing criticism & blows at the people that you are around & invited him to be around. Let him know up front that you were offended. And hey, maybe his explanation will be completely the opposite of what you thought. Maybe he saw someone there that he didn't like or that brought him back to alot of bad memories. There's no telling WHERE his mind was that night. If you ask him about it & he gives you an answer like, "Just wasn't into it," then you'll know that it could've been you that annoyed him, b/c after all, if he wasn't feeling it, you would've been able to tell from the beginning vs. only being able to tell at the very end. On the other hand, if you gives you an answer like "Just had alot on my mind" there's a good chance that his crappy mood didn't have anything to do with you. We can guess all night what was wrong with this guy..you're best bet would be to just ask him. What is there to lose?

Posted by ?_uvis
sounds like jealousy showing its evil head...

i don't get it. where would the jealousy stem from? i guess i don't see what he would even be jealous about. also, it wasn't my band. they were all affiliate artists/friends.

another thing, he had my full attention for most of the night. like i said, it had been a long time since i'd seen him so i thought it only appropriate to not make my usual rounds of socializing without including him. i only left his side twice to talk to some ppl but it was only for a couple of minutes each. my over-attentiveness is what caused me to feel so removed from the scene.

let it be known, i don't think the bad mood had anything to do with me. i did notice a dramatic change in attitude after his texting session. although i will say that his distaste for the music started before. it also doesn't make up for the fact that he was being so harsh. one thing that did get my attention was something he said on the car ride home. he told me that he was thinking about letting some of his friends go. he told me it was because he never has time to himself. i grew concerned over this termination process. instead of dropping them, why doesn't he just tell them "no, i don't wanna go out today"? i wonder if this is related to his bad mood in any way...

he got a hold of me the next day to ask about my oil and brownie recipes. not only that but he asked me to help him make them. the oil takes 12-18 hours to complete. he wants to start the oil during mid-day, wants us to hang out the entire time, then make the brownies... the next day. i told 2 of my closest male friends about this and they swear he's got it planned for me to stay the night. i don't completely buy it though. he and i only live 7-10 minutes away from each other. it would be easy for me to go home then come back and bake them the next day. he also didn't mention that in the plan but the boys insist that it's implied. guess we'll see!

i forgot to add that it's even weirder that he's suggesting we hang out for practically 2 days straight when he was just talking about dropping friends because he had no time alone. don't worry, i plan on asking questions.