JiyoSmiling
@JiyoSmiling
16 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 58 · Topics: 3
Where the Green Grass Grows
One of the biggest problems with these sorts of breakups is that the dumpee will be more likely to want to stick around in the dumpers life. Due to the dumper's extreme mixed signals and the fact that they'll try harder than usual to keep the dumpee around as a friend, the dumpee will make all sorts of excuses to stay around. They'll say things such as "She's just confused, so we're going to remain friends and see what happens". These sorts of breakups need to be treated like any other kind of breakup. Give the dumper as much space as possible and gracefully bow out of their life.
The thing to keep in mind is that in these sorts of breakups, the dumpers themselves don't have any sort of answers to give. They're usually just as confused about the situation as the dumpee. This often adds more pain to the dumpee because they're just looking for some sort of reason as to why they're being hurt so badly and get completely frustrated when the dumper can't give them one. They think the dumper may be acting cruel or like the dumper is hiding something from them. This is usually not the case. The dumper isn't giving any answers because they don't have them.
Now for the good news. If the dumpee does completely exit the dumpers life and resist the temptation to remain friends, the chance that the opportunity for reconciliation will arise is actually quite good. If the relationship was a good one, the dumper will find out eventually that the grass isn't greener, it's just different grass and may even be a little worse than the pastures they left. However, that doesn't mean that a reconciliation will happen. Due to the hurtfulness of this type of breakup, the dumpee will most often refuse the offer for reconciliation when it eventually comes up (which can be months or over a year down the line). Since the breakup happened out of nowhere and for no real good reason, it can be difficult for most people to get the trust back in the relationship. The fear that they'll suddenly be dumped out of nowhere will hinder the relationship from developing into anything. This is why I said the "opportunity" for reconciliation is a lot higher and not that actual reconciliations are common for these types of breakups.
So, my heart goes out to all of you enduring this particular type of breakup. Just remember, it's not your fault and it's not the dumper's fault, either. It's just due to human nature and unfortunate sets of circumstances. No amount of picking your ex's brain wil
The thing to keep in mind is that in these sorts of breakups, the dumpers themselves don't have any sort of answers to give. They're usually just as confused about the situation as the dumpee. This often adds more pain to the dumpee because they're just looking for some sort of reason as to why they're being hurt so badly and get completely frustrated when the dumper can't give them one. They think the dumper may be acting cruel or like the dumper is hiding something from them. This is usually not the case. The dumper isn't giving any answers because they don't have them.
Now for the good news. If the dumpee does completely exit the dumpers life and resist the temptation to remain friends, the chance that the opportunity for reconciliation will arise is actually quite good. If the relationship was a good one, the dumper will find out eventually that the grass isn't greener, it's just different grass and may even be a little worse than the pastures they left. However, that doesn't mean that a reconciliation will happen. Due to the hurtfulness of this type of breakup, the dumpee will most often refuse the offer for reconciliation when it eventually comes up (which can be months or over a year down the line). Since the breakup happened out of nowhere and for no real good reason, it can be difficult for most people to get the trust back in the relationship. The fear that they'll suddenly be dumped out of nowhere will hinder the relationship from developing into anything. This is why I said the "opportunity" for reconciliation is a lot higher and not that actual reconciliations are common for these types of breakups.
So, my heart goes out to all of you enduring this particular type of breakup. Just remember, it's not your fault and it's not the dumper's fault, either. It's just due to human nature and unfortunate sets of circumstances. No amount of picking your ex's brain wil
This is what happened to me so I thought I'd post in case anyone else happens to be going through the same thing. I've been dumped more than once but in all other cases there was a solid reason. This is the worst "dumping" I've ever been through because there hasn't been any one reason. In fact all of the reasons seemed pretty petty to me. I think it's human nature to want or need to know what cause led to the effect & in situations such as these, there is no cause other than the dumpers confusion. All I know is that in the span of 24hours he went from telling me that he was in love with me & making plans for the following day to dumping me because he had a "bad feeling" & was confused.LOL I seriously thought he had lost his mind & I still feel that he has.
My life over the course of the last 7 months has been nothing but confusion. I've left him alone for months at a time only to have him come crawling back to me. Because the breakup happened during a time in which I "thought" we were happy, it's been harder for me to let go of my feelings for him. So yes I still care & I want to understand what he's going through but it's hard to understand when he claims that he doesn't even understand.
My life over the course of the last 7 months has been nothing but confusion. I've left him alone for months at a time only to have him come crawling back to me. Because the breakup happened during a time in which I "thought" we were happy, it's been harder for me to let go of my feelings for him. So yes I still care & I want to understand what he's going through but it's hard to understand when he claims that he doesn't even understand.
wow.
Everything you just said really hits home with me. I was with my boyfriend for 7 months, when what seemed like over night he decided to completely uproot his life and move to Mississippi. He spoke to his friends as though there's something better waiting out there for him. We had what seemed like the perfect relationship, very harmonious and full of affection on both parts. He just cut it off cold turkey, and left in pieces. He told me he thinks our paths will "cross" again. He has no answers for me, but that its no reflection on me,its just a gut instinct, that its something he needs to do. He doesn't understand it completely. That was back in March. -Hes leaving in 2 weeks. We talked once on the phone because word got around he was seeing somebody else already, and he told me " i just hooked up once" i was torn up cuz it was like how could you do this so soon after me..i felt completely replaceable. He started picking up smoking cloves, when he would be disgusted with people who smoked. Just started being a hypocrite in things, big time. He told me he feels like hes been living a lie,and that he needs to find his truth and hasn't been real with himself. I told him i wont be talking to him- and he said well i can't promise that i won't try to contact you..and i'll keep contacting you until you tell me to fuck off... but we haven't spoken in a month, and i still plan to never initiate contact and he hasn't yet either.
if its true that they do come back, like you i honestly dont know how i'd feel about it, if i could trust that it was a phase he needed to go through to see what was important or whatever. I'd prob just try to be friends with him if he came crawling back in order to protect myself a view the situation objectively.
When you said yours came crawling back? how did he come crawling back? did he say he messed up and wanted to be with you? and why has he been coming back several times? i dont get that.
Everything you just said really hits home with me. I was with my boyfriend for 7 months, when what seemed like over night he decided to completely uproot his life and move to Mississippi. He spoke to his friends as though there's something better waiting out there for him. We had what seemed like the perfect relationship, very harmonious and full of affection on both parts. He just cut it off cold turkey, and left in pieces. He told me he thinks our paths will "cross" again. He has no answers for me, but that its no reflection on me,its just a gut instinct, that its something he needs to do. He doesn't understand it completely. That was back in March. -Hes leaving in 2 weeks. We talked once on the phone because word got around he was seeing somebody else already, and he told me " i just hooked up once" i was torn up cuz it was like how could you do this so soon after me..i felt completely replaceable. He started picking up smoking cloves, when he would be disgusted with people who smoked. Just started being a hypocrite in things, big time. He told me he feels like hes been living a lie,and that he needs to find his truth and hasn't been real with himself. I told him i wont be talking to him- and he said well i can't promise that i won't try to contact you..and i'll keep contacting you until you tell me to fuck off... but we haven't spoken in a month, and i still plan to never initiate contact and he hasn't yet either.
if its true that they do come back, like you i honestly dont know how i'd feel about it, if i could trust that it was a phase he needed to go through to see what was important or whatever. I'd prob just try to be friends with him if he came crawling back in order to protect myself a view the situation objectively.
When you said yours came crawling back? how did he come crawling back? did he say he messed up and wanted to be with you? and why has he been coming back several times? i dont get that.
"One of the biggest problems with these sorts of breakups is that the dumpee will be more likely to want to stick around in the dumpers life."
Even vise versa, which is weird....
Even vise versa, which is weird....
"Because the breakup happened during a time in which I "thought" we were happy"
What you've posted about this type of break-up has some serious flaws in it. Certainly, the whole Grass is Greener scenerio has to be devastating to any person who thought they were special ..... and for this search for greener means ... you're not special at all, whomever is over that hill in the greener grass is who is special, since she is who he will leave you for to go in search of ... however ...
I don't agree with the above quote, as it is said to lead the readers to believe that this search for greener grass comes out of left-field without any warning. I know for myself and my own personal relationship with an earth person, he has no clue when he is unhappy and has to be told.
Earth people are so goddam stubborn ... snakes often bite them.
Even now, as you post this ........... you are still hanging on eventhough you know.
"So yes I still care & I want to understand what he's going through but it's hard to understand when he claims that he doesn't even understand."
I understand your pain, don't mistake my response as though I don't ... I'm merely pointing out that you aren't an innocent victim here because you have the awareness and even made a thread about how you know ... so what happened here is in no way something you "thought" ... it is something you refuse.
What you've posted about this type of break-up has some serious flaws in it. Certainly, the whole Grass is Greener scenerio has to be devastating to any person who thought they were special ..... and for this search for greener means ... you're not special at all, whomever is over that hill in the greener grass is who is special, since she is who he will leave you for to go in search of ... however ...
I don't agree with the above quote, as it is said to lead the readers to believe that this search for greener grass comes out of left-field without any warning. I know for myself and my own personal relationship with an earth person, he has no clue when he is unhappy and has to be told.
Earth people are so goddam stubborn ... snakes often bite them.
Even now, as you post this ........... you are still hanging on eventhough you know.
"So yes I still care & I want to understand what he's going through but it's hard to understand when he claims that he doesn't even understand."
I understand your pain, don't mistake my response as though I don't ... I'm merely pointing out that you aren't an innocent victim here because you have the awareness and even made a thread about how you know ... so what happened here is in no way something you "thought" ... it is something you refuse.
The man just wasn't happy and so he made the decision to break up .... why can't you deal with that?
I mean, I could understand this sort of emotional weakness if it happened 7 hours ago ... but, we're talking 7 fucking months ago.
Have you no pride?
You should have picked yourself up off the floor to hold your head high a long fucking time ago, instead of laying there grovelling helplessly with yourself in hopes of "something" to happen ...... I'm assuming this something is an epiphany.
Reality check .. here's your epiphany ... he tossed you and is now looking for greener grass, which means you aren't special enough for him.
So, what the fuck are you doing putting ANY of your precious energy into this man for? Do you not value yourself anymore than that?
wtf is the matter with people?
I think this is a great post in the aspect that this scenerio happens often and is something that should be discussed .. but, when you, both of you actually ... stated that you've been helpless for 7 fucking months, while allowing your hearts to pine away for assholes, is when you got me tilted.
What the fuck is the matter with you two?
I mean, I could understand this sort of emotional weakness if it happened 7 hours ago ... but, we're talking 7 fucking months ago.
Have you no pride?
You should have picked yourself up off the floor to hold your head high a long fucking time ago, instead of laying there grovelling helplessly with yourself in hopes of "something" to happen ...... I'm assuming this something is an epiphany.
Reality check .. here's your epiphany ... he tossed you and is now looking for greener grass, which means you aren't special enough for him.
So, what the fuck are you doing putting ANY of your precious energy into this man for? Do you not value yourself anymore than that?
wtf is the matter with people?
I think this is a great post in the aspect that this scenerio happens often and is something that should be discussed .. but, when you, both of you actually ... stated that you've been helpless for 7 fucking months, while allowing your hearts to pine away for assholes, is when you got me tilted.
What the fuck is the matter with you two?
Ahhh P-Angel 🙂 OK 1st of all the 1st 2 posts I did not actually write, I found this article & posted it because it was so similar to my situation & had so many responses that I figured it may be of some use to some on this forum. 2nd of all, Yes I "thought" we were happy, past tense, hind sight. CLEARLY he wasn't happy now that I think back to 7 months ago, NOT because I missed any clues, unless you call a sudden admission on his part of being "in love" a clue as to his unhappiness, along with his looking at a house for us to rent a week prior to our break another missed clue. LOL No I didn't miss any clues, he just withheld important information from me. He wasn't happy & instead of discussing that he chose to hide it. Is that really unusual? No it's not, how many posters come on this forum seeking advice instead of going directly to the source...their partner....to discuss their unhappiness?
The whole grass is greener scenario happens often per your words so this isn't unusual & all I can comment on is what happened in MY situation, yes I thought I was special LOL but his eyes did wander (according to him a few weeks after we split that DOESN'T mean I believe it) & he found someone he THOUGHT (Again hind sight, past tense) was more special. Turns out the chick was still married (told him she was divorced) & went back to her husband after a brief separation. So basically the grass he thought was more special ended up being owned by someone else & wasn't "for sale" after all.
The whole grass is greener scenario happens often per your words so this isn't unusual & all I can comment on is what happened in MY situation, yes I thought I was special LOL but his eyes did wander (according to him a few weeks after we split that DOESN'T mean I believe it) & he found someone he THOUGHT (Again hind sight, past tense) was more special. Turns out the chick was still married (told him she was divorced) & went back to her husband after a brief separation. So basically the grass he thought was more special ended up being owned by someone else & wasn't "for sale" after all.
"You should have picked yourself up off the floor to hold your head high a long fucking time ago, instead of laying there grovelling helplessly with yourself in hopes of "something" to happen ...... I'm assuming this something is an epiphany.
Reality check .. here's your epiphany ... he tossed you and is now looking for greener grass, which means you aren't special enough for him."
Who ever said I've spent the last 7 months groveling? LOL I've NEVER not one time contacted him & begged for his love or affection. I went my own way 2 days after the break when I went to his place to collect my shit. No, just as it says in the article, The dumper will try to keep the dumpee in their life because of their confusion. Which is exactly what he has done. It's not about ME not being special enough for HIM lol because we see what his idea of "special" was No how about this....how about if he isn't special enough for me? LOL I love how you came to the conclusion that I'm powerless in this situation because the reality is, HE fucked up & I have the power to entertain him now or not to. While he was busy with Mrs. Married mid-life crisis, I was busy getting on with my own life ALONE so I'm accustomed to not having him apart of my daily life now. The only reason why I'm posting this now is because he's just come back into my life full force wanting to make amends & talk about the problems our relationship had...something that should have been done 7 months ago if you ask me.
"The man just wasn't happy and so he made the decision to break up .... why can't you deal with that?
I mean, I could understand this sort of emotional weakness if it happened 7 hours ago ... but, we're talking 7 fucking months ago."
"when you, both of you actually ... stated that you've been helpless for 7 fucking months, while allowing your hearts to pine away for assholes, is when you got me tilted."
I can & have dealt with the breakup & I never said I was helpless for 7 months LOL I said I was confused & being confused & helpless are two totally different things. 🙂
Reality check .. here's your epiphany ... he tossed you and is now looking for greener grass, which means you aren't special enough for him."
Who ever said I've spent the last 7 months groveling? LOL I've NEVER not one time contacted him & begged for his love or affection. I went my own way 2 days after the break when I went to his place to collect my shit. No, just as it says in the article, The dumper will try to keep the dumpee in their life because of their confusion. Which is exactly what he has done. It's not about ME not being special enough for HIM lol because we see what his idea of "special" was No how about this....how about if he isn't special enough for me? LOL I love how you came to the conclusion that I'm powerless in this situation because the reality is, HE fucked up & I have the power to entertain him now or not to. While he was busy with Mrs. Married mid-life crisis, I was busy getting on with my own life ALONE so I'm accustomed to not having him apart of my daily life now. The only reason why I'm posting this now is because he's just come back into my life full force wanting to make amends & talk about the problems our relationship had...something that should have been done 7 months ago if you ask me.
"The man just wasn't happy and so he made the decision to break up .... why can't you deal with that?
I mean, I could understand this sort of emotional weakness if it happened 7 hours ago ... but, we're talking 7 fucking months ago."
"when you, both of you actually ... stated that you've been helpless for 7 fucking months, while allowing your hearts to pine away for assholes, is when you got me tilted."
I can & have dealt with the breakup & I never said I was helpless for 7 months LOL I said I was confused & being confused & helpless are two totally different things. 🙂
P-Angel,
I was WITH him for 7 months, not groveling for 7 months. Please read my words correctly.
I was WITH him for 7 months, not groveling for 7 months. Please read my words correctly.
I didn't say, nor imply .... "I've NEVER not one time contacted him & begged for his love or affection."
I said, "laying there grovelling helplessly with yourself in hopes of "something" to happen"
And there is no past tense to this ..... you posted this and ended with saying ...
"yes I still care & I want to understand what he's going through but it's hard to understand when he claims that he doesn't even understand"
That ^^^^^^ is not a past tense .... that ^^^^^^ is a currently looking for answers because you are in hope that something will happen .... and in the meantime, you put your energy into it enough to even compose this thread, which means you are grovelling helplesslyl with yourself in hopes.
You're right Ariesscorpisces ... that is what you said. However, you are in serious denial because you said, "I told him i wont be talking to him- and he said well i can't promise that i won't try to contact you..and i'll keep contacting you until you tell me to fuck off...", which is worded in such a way to make the suggestion that he can't help but to call you .. when in reality, he hasn't contacted you at all .. you're the one who contacted him when you caught word that he was seeing someone else.
If a person read this quote of yours, they would left thinking he is trying to contact you, or that he probably will and cannot stop himself from doing so .. when here's the reality ....
"We talked once on the phone because word got around he was seeing somebody else already, and he told me " i just hooked up once" i was torn up cuz it was like how could you do this so soon after me..i felt completely replaceable"
Because he wasn't the one to call you to pass the rumor to you of what he heard about himself.
I said, "laying there grovelling helplessly with yourself in hopes of "something" to happen"
And there is no past tense to this ..... you posted this and ended with saying ...
"yes I still care & I want to understand what he's going through but it's hard to understand when he claims that he doesn't even understand"
That ^^^^^^ is not a past tense .... that ^^^^^^ is a currently looking for answers because you are in hope that something will happen .... and in the meantime, you put your energy into it enough to even compose this thread, which means you are grovelling helplesslyl with yourself in hopes.
You're right Ariesscorpisces ... that is what you said. However, you are in serious denial because you said, "I told him i wont be talking to him- and he said well i can't promise that i won't try to contact you..and i'll keep contacting you until you tell me to fuck off...", which is worded in such a way to make the suggestion that he can't help but to call you .. when in reality, he hasn't contacted you at all .. you're the one who contacted him when you caught word that he was seeing someone else.
If a person read this quote of yours, they would left thinking he is trying to contact you, or that he probably will and cannot stop himself from doing so .. when here's the reality ....
"We talked once on the phone because word got around he was seeing somebody else already, and he told me " i just hooked up once" i was torn up cuz it was like how could you do this so soon after me..i felt completely replaceable"
Because he wasn't the one to call you to pass the rumor to you of what he heard about himself.
Who cares. If it works out-great-if not, move on. No one is guaranteed to have a nice "sensible" break-up, it is what it is. Thats just like dying slowly from smoke inhalation and all you can think about is "Damn, I thought I was going to die peacefully in my sleep. Its not fair! Why me!" Get over yourself.
"Certainly, the whole Grass is Greener scenerio has to be devastating to any person who thought they were special
I think this is a great post in the aspect that this scenerio happens often and is something that should be discussed .."
& it should be discussed so that you may take what is said in a couple of paragraphs, which in no way could come close to describing the actual events in it's entirety, pick it apart & then ask what in the fuck is wrong with us for wondering or being confused by something? LOL We all search for answers in many situations in life, especially ones that are important to our lives. If someone in your family suddenly dropped dead with no indication of illness....you'd probably like to know why...yes? same thing here. Unfortunately I can't turn off feelings like a switch & only time will do that but it's made more difficult when the dumper keeps making appearances & THIS as I said is the only reason why I'm posting this now, because his something more special turned out to be not so special after all & now he's back, making me wonder if I wasn't so special then why not move on to a different special LOL
No groveling with my helpless little damsel in distress here, no like I said I have alot of responsibilities in my life, like being a single mom & a full time student, to be groveling for anything, but this is a discussion board & so this is where I've chosen to come to discuss this one particular situation in my life & more importantly I hoped that someone else could relate to what I was going through with a similar situation of their own. 🙂
I think this is a great post in the aspect that this scenerio happens often and is something that should be discussed .."
& it should be discussed so that you may take what is said in a couple of paragraphs, which in no way could come close to describing the actual events in it's entirety, pick it apart & then ask what in the fuck is wrong with us for wondering or being confused by something? LOL We all search for answers in many situations in life, especially ones that are important to our lives. If someone in your family suddenly dropped dead with no indication of illness....you'd probably like to know why...yes? same thing here. Unfortunately I can't turn off feelings like a switch & only time will do that but it's made more difficult when the dumper keeps making appearances & THIS as I said is the only reason why I'm posting this now, because his something more special turned out to be not so special after all & now he's back, making me wonder if I wasn't so special then why not move on to a different special LOL
No groveling with my helpless little damsel in distress here, no like I said I have alot of responsibilities in my life, like being a single mom & a full time student, to be groveling for anything, but this is a discussion board & so this is where I've chosen to come to discuss this one particular situation in my life & more importantly I hoped that someone else could relate to what I was going through with a similar situation of their own. 🙂
I do believe that of you, and it is your whole problem .....
"Unfortunately I can't turn off feelings like a switch & only time will do that but it's made more difficult when the dumper keeps making appearances & THIS as I said is the only reason why I'm posting this now, because his something more special turned out to be not so special after all & now he's back, making me wonder if I wasn't so special then why not move on to a different special"
You have yourself believing that he is responsible for your weakness in not being able to turn off your feelings because he keeps making an appearance ....... when in reality, you are the one who is responsible for your own weakness.
Instead of owning yourself, like you would like to claim you have done .... in reality, alls he has to do is wondering in your direction, and you give him credit, such as you have posted in here ....
.. now he's back, making you wonder .....
Wonder?
fuck you asshole ... is what would actually happen if you weren't grovelling with yourself, hoping "something" would happen .. and I suspect this 'something' would equate to ..
... he has a change of heart and gives you the permission you seek to feel special
"Unfortunately I can't turn off feelings like a switch & only time will do that but it's made more difficult when the dumper keeps making appearances & THIS as I said is the only reason why I'm posting this now, because his something more special turned out to be not so special after all & now he's back, making me wonder if I wasn't so special then why not move on to a different special"
You have yourself believing that he is responsible for your weakness in not being able to turn off your feelings because he keeps making an appearance ....... when in reality, you are the one who is responsible for your own weakness.
Instead of owning yourself, like you would like to claim you have done .... in reality, alls he has to do is wondering in your direction, and you give him credit, such as you have posted in here ....
.. now he's back, making you wonder .....
Wonder?
fuck you asshole ... is what would actually happen if you weren't grovelling with yourself, hoping "something" would happen .. and I suspect this 'something' would equate to ..
... he has a change of heart and gives you the permission you seek to feel special
P Angel, please take a hike and get a life.
I have read your posts in many places, and your opinions are arrogant, immature and ignorant.
I learned a long time ago that only abusers expect others to be above things like revenge and to take the abuse, and you are an abuser.
In future I suggest you refrain from making comments about situations you have no experience in.
I have read your posts in many places, and your opinions are arrogant, immature and ignorant.
I learned a long time ago that only abusers expect others to be above things like revenge and to take the abuse, and you are an abuser.
In future I suggest you refrain from making comments about situations you have no experience in.
Lol. This place is amazing.
Posted by uypoi
P Angel, please take a hike and get a life.
I have read your posts in many places, and your opinions are arrogant, immature and ignorant.
I learned a long time ago that only abusers expect others to be above things like revenge and to take the abuse, and you are an abuser.
In future I suggest you refrain from making comments about situations you have no experience in.
What an idiot.
Join the Conversation. Explore Yourself. Connect with Others.
Discover insights, swap stories, and find people. dxpnet is where experiences turn into understanding.
Create Your Free Account →Related Topics
I gave my special Taurus friend birthday present last week but it is still sitting in his office, haven't taken home yet
I'm just curious as to how some of you will answer these questions. These are some questions that came up in a philosoph
Just finished reading this and found some very interesting information. 2 things I took particular interest in... Get
If you're listenting Missy Markella ..... don't be upset or angry, be progressive in your pursuit of happiness, and find
So lately I've had a few propositions which I find rather insulting!!! One of which, I was out with a male friend and
I am getting interested in Handwriting analysis. What are the elements in Handwriting that indicate there is the fear o
Hello everyone! So it seems lately that I've been encountering the same scenario and I really want to know why. Case
I told her kinky was using the feather . Perverted was using the whole chicken.
Please explain— I see it as a new way of getting in with a guy long enough to try and turn the tables on him and th
in your experience, will a guy stay with a girl even though she treats him like crap if she's pretty enough?
Let's say while you were in the process of getting the divorce you won the lottery. Would you share your winnings with y
If u could build the ideal Mate, what would you take from other signs to make the prefect Man or women for you an why ?
The guy I like (and have liked for looooong time) is perfect to me in pretty much every way. Except one. I don't resp
One thing I've noticed is that these days everyone opts for texting instead of phoning, personally I feel it leaves alot
I've seen a lot of posts regarding birth control pills and what not and the only other option being IUD. Really? I
(wheelhomies to blame for this thread) The Question: How young is too young to lose your virginity?
How do you know?
This syndrome usually tends to fall on women within the age range of 20-25 (it happens to men, too, but seems to be less often). It usually happens in a long term relationship (maybe two or more years) when the couple is about to make a much larger commitment to each other, such as an engagement or marriage. It's as if the mixture between the person's young age and the thought of making such a huge commitment almost makes them want to go on the relationship equivalent of the Amish's Rumspringa.
Some of the classic symptoms of this are as follows:
Reasons for the break up are contradicting or sound like the dumper is grasping at straws for reasons. As if they are trying to convince themselves of it, too.
Not much warning that something is going on before the actual break.
An extreme change in life style , such as suddenly starting to drink a lot, party a lot and hang around people they normally wouldn't.
Wishy-washiness on the part of the dumper. They love you, but aren't IN love with you. They say that this doesn't mean you two are over forever and maybe someday down the road you'll be together again. At the same time, they'll tell you to move on.
Quickly entering new relationships with people they aren't very compatible with.