Revelation

Walking singularly through a crowded busy world, I have often wondered, "where is God"?. Sitting alone with a mind fuller than the super ball stadium, I have often wondered, "Where is God"? I have often tried to understand the force others have named "God". I have walken in churches, listened to prayers of those of faith, and yet have felt nothing. I have talked with those who have seen angels, and those who would die for their trust in their god, read the words and repeated them, yet I could never begin to comprehend their zelous emotions. Some speak of revalations, yet the closest I have come to religion must be in a fervor for words. The religious mind speaks for the acceptance of what seems to be the truth, yet I can find no truth, only doubt. Life? I have searched for the reason behind it, but God has deserted me. Still, I listen for His voice, waiting for the day when He shall call my name and some graced peice of mind shall be mine. However, I fear He knows I have no faith in Him.

I have a hard time reading the bible, becaue it's just words and lots of books have words, no different for me... And I have a hard time listening to people who believe, because I can't understand them or why they do believe... And I look around and see all the wars that are waged in the name of some god, and I think, this can not be my god... So I wonder what God is mine— I think that my God is not a mighty god of the universe, the creater and the destroyer... My God wouldn't have to make that choice...

Would you like an answer to the question, "Who or what is God?" I believe I have an answer, but it is one of those personal answers; a belief that would bring about ostracism and controversy if given life in public. God is the collective unconscious. It is a term I learned in psychology class. God is the common link between all people, the humanity in everyone. Think on that a while. It makes sense, does it not? I'll explain in more depth soon, when I have more time, if you would like. I'll have more time in roughly a week. (*BIG sigh*)

If it makes you feel any better about your doubts, Morgan, I have often had my own doubts and I met the baby Jesus in a dream when I was 6, not to mention the clairvoyance I have quite often. Religion, in my firm opinion, is entirely a matter of interperetaion. Nobody knows or has ever known the answers. For me, it just feels nice to have something to believe in.

Hmmm... This is going to be compicated to explain, but I'll try anyway... I'm glad to see that you feel happy and secure in your faith and sure of your religion. For me religion is something not found in books or preists, but in a frame of mind. Perhaps spiritualism is more the word I'm thinking of. What's the difference between spiritualism and religion? Well, my interpretation, inexperienced and yet logical to me, is that spiritualism is faith in itself, and religion is the way in which faith is acted out, in which it takes shape. I can understand that. I think what's really bugging me is a justification for faith. Why— Why believe in anything? I almost feel as if it's meaningless, yet I feel that believing in nothing is even more meaningless. I can search for a reason behind faith forever, but I think I'll never really find a logical answer(it seems that reason and logic are opposites). I suppose it's partly ingrained by society and partly just emotional need... Or should I say spiritual need? And ofcourse personal experience, I forgot that very important one. So many people I've talked have said much of the same things that you've said, and it fits them and works for them. But it doesn't satisfy me. It doesn't fill all the answers I'm looking for. Ofcourse, most people I talk to do not understand this. They don't understand that I need a justification for faith and a justification for life. They say you're here, now stop complaining. Why think about such nonsense? I think about it because it truly does bother me, and I can not easily just pick something to believe in. Tolstoy once wrote: "To be faithful to a belief you must have a belief, and a real belief cannot be founded on credulity; it can be achieved only by sincere mental effort". This is my dilema. Growing up in the society I have, It seems that most people I know just accept Christian beliefs, they talk about God and Jesus and angels and heaven and hell. A lot of my freinds are Catholic, and maybe it's just me, but I really think that their beliefs are dictated more by what they got taught in church and Catholic school than what they actually read in the bible. At the same time, I also know a lot of people who do not follow the traditional Christian culture of going to church every sunday and believing in God and Jesus and yata yata. However, for the most part, their beliefs seem to stem from a philosophy of "why should I follow what they say" more than an actual justification for thier own beliefs. I realize that I just grouped a lot of people together and left some people out, but for the sake of make a general statement, I'm using majorities and sorry to the rest. I myself have had plenty of dreams about God and Jesus, and usually about the end of the world, but that's mostly the affect of society. My family is split when it comes to religion. My mothers Luthran, plain and simple no more to say, why question further?. My dad was raised Catholic but has gone through over fifty religions (estamimate) in the course of his lifetime. I think mostly because of my father, my mother tends to try and discourage religious experimentation. You can see how growing up in this household it's hard for me to feel strongly about one religion or another, they're all the same to me. At this point I've completely forgotten where I was going with all of this... I think I was just trying to explain my problems with faith and how I can logically justify it, and how the justifications I find don't satisfy me. That's what my point was, yes.

LOl, Parallax... I liked that... It's very interesting the way the same words can be interpreted into so many different meanings... What does that say about the complete lack of human unity—