Regarding Sag Men & Relationships

If you are a Sag man and a woman tells you that you aren't relationship material and you really, really like her, would you prove to her by getting into a relationship with someone else to show that you are relationship material?

I don't think SAG man is capable to such play, but I'd be curious to hear them out.

I am very curious! 🙂

tbh, that sounds like alot of work

What does that mean?

Yeah, too much work! Ugh! Not very nice for the 3rd person either

Ok, now I think about it, this was a completely dumb question....hmmmm

Sag men I know do not get involved right away with a new woman if they liked another. They will wait some time, not to much time, until they enter into a new relationship.
And by being with another woman WILL NOT prove to her you really love her, DUH! Common sense!

funsize -- one thing to remember about a SAG man -- and so far I have not met any who wasn't -- they are pretty straight forward. Lying doesn't come to them naturally. In fact, any question you ask them directly, they will answer as direct as shortcut possible, without coating it in any form.

As Reason put it ... lol .. blunty as it sometimes can come out, they are not the ones who will jump into relationship and they will tell you that upfront. However, the 40+ Sag guy can be more willing to undertake a relationship. You will know from the start if he wants you permanent or not. If he already moved into another relationship, then that pretty much is it. I even doubt that the SAG guy can move into another relationship easily. They are great romantics, but also veeery private. You have to be quite flexible and free spirited to understand the SAG man.

enuff rant 😄 sorry.. I know you didn't ask for all this but it may narrow down why he can't jump into a relationship just because he supposedly loves you. Perhaps a pisces can do what you suggested.

Thanks for the advice. I guess the reason I asked in the first place is because he seems to change alot of things in his life that I teased him about whether it was he looked good in a certain color and then all of a sudden, he would wear that color all the time around me or when I told him he looked better with his glasses on, which he thinks he looks stupid with and now he wears them all the time. I told him he was kind of flakey which I really hate and then he starts acting all responsible. I told him we have different types of life style s and he changed his to be more like mine. There is more and more and more of those types of things that just made me wander. He tells me he how much he likes me all the time and how beautiful I am. All this just got me thinking and probably even over thinking his actions.

Reason:

I usually know the answer to the question I ask before I ever ask it but sometimes I need to see it in writing and see other peoples reaction as well.

are you sure he has found someone else?

Yes, he is with someone else now but still does things to please me in some way or another.

he must like you then.

This still doesn't mean he is in a relationship to show you he can be in a relationship. You rejected him.

May I ask why you don't think he is relationship material?

You are probably right about the rejection part. He wasn't working & he was basically partying all the time & jumping from girl to girl. He told me he is not like that when he is working but I guess I needed to see that for myself. Well, now he is working after I gave him such a hard time about it & acting all responsible. I guess it's my loss now. I told him I needed a break from him for a while after next weekend because of a group of us have plans & I don't want to cancel since I already put money out. He asked me why & I told him the short version. He said he was sorry that he was frustrating me & I told him that it wasn't his fault & that it is what it is but I need a break from him. He said he would try & understand. It sucks because we have become good friends but I need to regroup myself so I don't feel this way & the only way to do that is not be around him. I think with all the holidays coming up that will help because I have my family things to do & so I will see him after the New Year some time.

than if you like him, start anew in the New Year or you will be the one who acts like a flake. Let the guy go or reel him - but don't play with him, no one deserves that.

I don't feel I am playing with him at all. We just have alot of chemistry with each other which everyone else sees as well. People who don't know us, think we are a couple. One of our good friends told someone that you would think that they (meaning the Sag male & me) were a couple or something but they have never even dated or even kissed (which is true). Then someone else said well, they better not ever go to Vegas & get drunk because otherwise they may end up married. We banter alot as well which seem to convince people that we have been a couple for a long time. It's just strange to have so much chemistry with someone & not ever being with them. His gaurd is up & so is mine but he also has a girlfriend now that seems to be more serious but he still doesn't change the way he acts towards me so it makes me wander how serious they are. At the same time, I have NEVER gotten involved with someone else's boyfriend & I don't EVER want to be the other woman & I really don't think he would cheat on her even if he truely likes me & I wouldn't allow it either. So, unless he does something about his relationship, that leaves us as just friends & me tortured about my feelings so, that's where I need to back away from him. Not sure if he will let me though since after I told him that the other night, he calls me the next day just wanting to talk about nothing in particular. He is going to make it really hard to avoid him but, I will avoid him as much as possible after this weekend is over.

it still doesn't make sense to me of WHY ... even after he found work and all -- and you going away for a trip with friends, etc -- you wanted a break from him.

I see this break as a time for yourself to discover if you will be able to handle him, also knowing, he can easily change direction and keep himself entertained, while you are still thinking if you will be able to handle him AS LOVER/person-you-can-rely-to-give-your-heart-to.

I understand your concern. I'm same way. I want to feel assured and secure before I fully decide for a guy. I read it takes Capricorns even longer.

I can't know of course how your connection will work out in future with him. He will be back though... I see his gf as temporary. Don't cut him off totally. That would be veeery unfair not only to him but also to yourself. A true friendship is something that doesn't always fall on your lap. Keep your friendship but leave a door open. This 'open door' will be rather a TEST for yourself.

If I don't care for a person on a deep level, it also doesn't bother me knowing what he is up to in his private life. However, I do have the tendency of ending things abruptly with the person I dearly care for, when I start feeling my trust or his reliability is on rocky grounds. It is a form of anxiety of being hurt.

With this SAG man I just recently had a 'fling' again... who I had met a number of years ago, who I could never forget, who affected my Sex life in some form ... there we were again. We exchanged feelings/experiences that are very parallel to each other BUT ...

he doesn't want me as serious relation. I don't want him as casual relation.

long story. Can tell another time.

My advice: Do not cut him off! Tell him how you feel but keep him at arms length as long as he has gf.

fairytales: Thanks for the input but it's not that I don't think I would be able to handle him, it's that I have to be sure that the feelings are mutual before I completely put myself out there. He is bringing his girlfriend around our group of friends a little more than before even though most of us don't care for her & he knows that since we all basically told him that. I just plan on having a good weekend with him & our other friends & unless something comes out of this weekend, I will distance myself from him. I have a hard time dating anyone else right now because of him & him and I have never dated. It's stopping me right now so, I need to let go so I can leave myself open to someone else.

Total turn of events now. He broke up with his girlfriend and she moved out this weekend while we were gone. Him and I talked alot this weekend. We fell asleep watching a movie Friday but nothing happened between us except for cuddling. Then Saturday night we did the same and watched a movie and started to fall asleep and I turned around and he started to kiss me which, it was all over from there for me. He is an amazing kisser amoung other things. 🙂 I asked him why the next day and he said it was because we were all (our group of friends) making him realize that his relationship with her was unhealthy and he wasn't happy. I also asked him why he decided to kiss me and he said that when I told him that I needed a break from him that made him not want me to give him that break from our friendship for a while and he has been wanting to kiss me for a long time now. So, I am a happy woman right now but we really haven't talked about what's next yet. I guess we will see how things go. 🙂

Reason: What do you mean by that?

funsize ..lol .. well..this 'ending' was somewhat expected 😄

Huh!

well ..

when the movie ends as *THE END* .. and it's all happy ending...

that kind of ending i meant. ha ha

Thanks, I didn't know what Reason meant until you wrote that fairytales and so I went back and read it all and I guess it does make sense. I am so much better at giving advice & seeing things when it has nothing to do with myself but when it comes to my life I completely block out all the common sense and understanding of the situation for some reason.

You know, now that I have what I have wanted for a while now, I need to figure out how not to mess it up. He makes me extremely nervous for some reason and I apparently do that to him as well. He's alot more emotional than I realized too but I'm ok with that. It's funny how he always told me that he couldn't understand why his ex-girlfriends always how to text him to talk about everything and anything all the time and it bothered him that they did that. Well, of course it did, he's a Sag well, now, he is doing it to me at the moment. I am hoping he will calm down so I am just amuzing him at the moment until he realizes that he doesn't have to have constant contact with me and it's ok. I'm a Sag as well so I understand about having space. He even changed his facebook status to from single to in a relationship and it's only been a couple of days. I asked him about it and he said he thought he changed it from in a relationship (meaning last girlfriend) to being single but somehow it got changed. Well, I don't believe that of course but I let it go. I guess we will see how this all goes. 🙂

I seriously do not know how much to add to your writing, funsize 😄 other than... I hope you can be yourself with him and even this stage shall resolve with ease.


Just be yourself. I do pretty silly things with Mr. Sag. Initially I was super careful, now I think .. wth .. that's me.. he either accept it or lose me. There just is no way around. If I'd play someone else.. he will catch on it anyway and nevertheless, I don't wish to be someone I am not.

Hope this helps. 🙂 I also am sure he already knows you enough.. the rest comes with time.

Continue posting, because sometimes people think all is just normal, but we do need to know how things work out, not only for you.. but also how we behaved to make things work.

Best of luck to you and the man of your thoughts, fun :-))

Thanks Fairytales 🙂 Things are good but still a little ackward around our friends. We have always flirted but never did anything so it feels strange a little when others are around. He will do his normal flirting with me and then when no one is looking or around, he will kiss me. Kind of like he is not sure or not to announce it to everyone that we are together. It's new so I completely agree. I want to slowly be more comfortable for both of us around everyone. He is going to my Christmas Party tonight with me so it will be our first time out like a couple so we will see how it goes. None of our friends will be there but other people I know will. We have a good time together. We can laugh and be stupid and tease each other and neither of us get offended about it because we aren't being mean, we are just having fun like we always have. I also think it suprises him that I don't text him all day long because that is what he is used too from past girls. I am not that type of person. He is the one that actually text me first thing in the morning and a few times through out the day, I will respond but I don't text first. He even stops by for lunch at my work sometimes but he has been doing that for a while now. I'm older so I don't feel the need to be in constant contact with him or any guy I have dated. I like to miss them a little to keep me interested. I definately think that may be a Sag thing though and I am a Sag as well. I do know that I am not like any female he has ever dated which only time will tell if that is good or not. He is used to needy girls and I am far from needy.

I will keep you updated and also just to read back on some of the things I have wrote and felt. 🙂

We had a great time at the Christmas Party. He even bought a new shirt & had his hair cut for it. Afterwards we went out and ran into one of our friends which at first was ackward but after a few drinks, I didn't care. My Sag was surprised that I was just so open with our friend about him and me. He was trying to keep it low key for me but I just didn't care. I talked with another one of our friends and she said that usually woman would blow his phone up with text messages and with me, he is the one that does that to me. (which is fine, I think it's sweet) He makes sure he texts me good morning & good night everyday as well as throughout the day. He even got a little jealous when I told him I had a business lunch with a guy from another company and he usually stops by for lunch alot so I told him to give him heads up since I wouldn't be around that day. He was subtle but the way he reacted surprised me since he is very hot but a little insecure. I tried to make him feel ok about it though and I think he was after that. He even made sure he stopped by my work that morning to just stay Hi and give me a kiss. So cute. He also told me that he has never been able to talk with a girl about anything like he can with me. (I didn't tell him that alot of guys have said that to me as well). Apparenlty I am really easy to open up to for some reason. People tell me some of their darkest secrets and then they say to me, I don't know why I just told you that. Anyways, things are going well. I feel he is open with me & I appreciate that. To be continued...........