Ah shit... it happened

Hi there all my fellow Stingers!

Ah shit... it happened.

I am infatuated with a Stinger gent.

Scorpio Sun

Leo Moon

Libra Mercury

Libra Venus

Aries Mars

This came out of the blue, and the emotions took me by surprise. Since I have been in a great relationship with my Earthy Goat for a while now.



Long story short, I met this Stinger gent a couple months after my first date with my Earthy Goat. However, at the time we only knew each other professionally as we were in the same industry (still am). He was very well known in this industry so from a far I always admired and respected him a lot. Strangely enough, I never found him attractive then. In fact, he was quite enamoured with a few of my friends. I played a part, to help him get more chances with them. Since his feelings at the time seemed genuine, and I felt bad for him though he had a Casanova reputation.

I could see as social as he was, inside he had a shy side as well (which he admitted to me once). Unfortunately for him, none of my friends returned his feelings. He used to lament to me why he is still lonely that he only wanted to meet someone who was fiery, extroverted in personality as compared to him but also as sociable as he could be. From what I gather, looks never seemed a priority in his female interests. As they all looked rather diverse, personality and intelligence was always what he highlighted. This I also respected. Although, in all the time we knew each other (2 years now), we kept a somewhat friendly but professional distance from each other in terms of communications. I felt more of a barrier from him, than I (especially so when my Earthy Goat is with me).

Recently, I went through a rough patch professionally. Since he was an industry connection somewhat linked to me, I had chosen to share it with him. The situation was a very vulnerable one, so it took a lot out of me to express it. Not only did he listen attentively, he became surprisingly protective, defending me and proactively supportive of me. I knew my friends experienced this side of him but I never did.

He began complimenting me to others, helping me in which way possible to highlight me in the most positive light within the industry. He softened a lot in the way he communicates with me. Yet sprinkled along this, he sometimes distances himself again. There is a level of awkwardness between us that can not see to go away. He would show up beside me in industry event, kiss my hand, or even make sure to hug me. He would sometimes make certain jokes, that if I questioned jokingly he would take it back really quickly because he thought he offended me (I was not, I was just pulling his leg). The stare he gives, is one I know all to well as I have done it to others when I was still single. The individualised attention sparked up an alert on my Stinger radar. Yet he would avoid me equally as much as well. I know, why I would act this way but I am not sure if this hot and cold is because he is struggling with an infatuation as much as I am right now, that I am in a relationship (yes I am all too aware and have not done anything that broke the code of that commitment) or I am over thinking it. All of which I know could be a Stinger weakness.



Emotionally, I am topsy turvy right now. Rationally, I am beating myself to a pulp over this stupidity. Far too old, to fall down this rabbit hole but here I am.

Now is the time to revoke my Stinger card, and for you all to kick me out. Hah!

This is so god awfully silly especially since I am very much committed to my Earthy Goat but then I do not know why these emotions came about after so long. The obsession is annoying me, the more I suppress it, the more it seems to grow in intensity.



Any advice fellow Stingers, or even a scolding?

Somethings missing in your relationship with the Cap. You’re not excited by him like in the beginning and the Scorp has sparked that.

Do you talk to your Cap about your issues at work? Does he understand or try to? You need to open up to him and allow him to support you the way you need and not lean on the Scorp.

You would be better to Maintain your distance from Scorp and don’t allow him to touch you. You should keep a healthy professional distance.

If not you will continue to feed the excitement of the forbidden fruit and risk damaging your relationship permanently!

Hmph.

My suggestion:

Starting from the details that describe how this all began...

Read the first paragraph as many times as you need, especially the last sentence.

Read the second paragraph you've written twice, especially the last sentence.

Read the third paragraph you've written three times and ask yourself honestly why that happened, particularly the second sentence.

Read the fourth paragraph and if any of the details in it, particularly his behaviour and yours can not be shared with your partner--without edit---, then you may need to rethink the second to last sentence you've written (in the brackets) again.

I'd never kick you out of this dysfunctional "family", maybe put you on ice for a bit ❤️.

@PhoenixRising

The barrier had more to do with friendliness (socially) rather than professionalism. In fact, in terms of professionalism we had always treated each other the same. Strangely enough, back then when I noted this to my Goat. He was the one to encourage me to relax a bit and be a bit more friendly, to not be so curtly professional, and to develop a social friendship with the Stinger. I at the time, did not know how to broach that gap as I was so very much in love with my Goat that I did not want any misunderstandings happening. Goat, always pushed me to have a coffee or dinner with the Stinger. I half heartedly tried a couple times in the past, but the Stinger never took it on and I never pushed.

Goat knows about everything, up until the recent emotional infatuation that I feel. This includes all the industry events, the hand kiss, the hugs etc. Mostly because Goat is also apart of the greater circle of the industry. So all our network/ friendship circles collide. I did not have the need to hide the events, he could have verified everything with most of our mutual friends. As for the rough patch he actually encouraged me to tell the Stinger, when in fact I was quite nerve racked to share it with him. He, and all my friends encouraged me to reach out to him as he had the ability to aid in my transition to my next career challenge.

So I did.

I shared with him the situation because he was a client of mine, and my rough patch or rather specifically departure from the company I was working for due to contract issues (I won't delve into the details here) would affect the many projects I was developing with him on over the past year. It meant being unable to close a big deal, in which he had strongly supported and negotiated on his side for (on my behalf). He vouched for me, professionally for a long time. I owed it to him to let him honestly know why I had to leave, as I have all the other clients of mine. So this was not an exclusive to him information, but an exclusive to a very select few within my client circle information.

Keep in mind everything that happened, happened publicly. Nothing ever happened privately. It was in full view of the industry. It is the emotional aspect that I am worried about within (within myself), maybe because I feel guilty that I could even be able to have such emotions again when I have chosen to be with my Goat. I feel guilty as if I cheated, even though I did not do anything that was an equivalent to cheating. My Goat and I have had this conversation in the past. He believes that we both will at some point have an infatuation with other people but how we deal with them will determine how strong our commitment is. He was not so phased about these emotions, when at the time of the conversation (prior to the Stinger infatuation) I was not pleased to hear he could potentially feel that for another woman.

Posted by sweethearts

Somethings missing in your relationship with the Cap. You’re not excited by him like in the beginning and the Scorp has sparked that.

Do you talk to your Cap about your issues at work? Does he understand or try to? You need to open up to him and allow him to support you the way you need and not lean on the Scorp.

You would be better to Maintain your distance from Scorp and don’t allow him to touch you. You should keep a healthy professional distance.

If not you will continue to feed the excitement of the forbidden fruit and risk damaging your relationship permanently!

My Goat knows everything about my work issues, more than anyone else including the Stinger. He has always been understanding and supportive in the way that he could. However, he knows of his limitations in terms of his ability to advise or problem solve with me. Which was why he always encouraged me to reach out to my friends and eventually this Stinger as well. Actually, I was indecisive for a long time before I finally took his suggestion.

Besides the recent, hand kiss and hug, nothing ever happened physically. Also it was in full public view of all our mutual circles, so I knew better and behaved. I was aware enough of that despite the infatuation. I have been maintaining a physical distance in terms of that and did not encourage more. I too was worried about the professional side of things because if this infatuation grows. As a fellow Stinger I know this could only go south, because I would not leave my Goat for him (if it ever came to it). It would also mean I lose all the good will, I have built up with him professionally. That would cost me greatly. In that way, I am far too ambitious career wise to watch my work go up in flames.

Well hey, just answering your questions @sweethearts helped me find some levelling ground of sanity back.

Maybe because my Goat has been distant as of late. He has a lot of earth in his chart, Goat and Bull. His bouts of passion does not flare up often but when it does, it always takes my breathe away and leaves me speechless. However those occasion are very far and few in between. He has also been a bit more needy as of late, and hampering my independence in attempts to perhaps control me. If I reply to a message of his a few minutes later than he had wanted, he would blow up my phone with missed calls and messages. He even tried to inflict a curfew on me, saying that it was because he was worried about my well being and safety. If he had it his way I would be at home always before midnight, preferably before 11 pm with dinner ready for him. I told him that was not happening, but that I was willing to consistently update him (as is possible) during my evenings out be it with friends or networking dinners.

Lady,

One other thing I wanted to add. As Scorps, when we genuinely like someone our general traits kick in. Loyalty, protection, empathy and support. We give these things and can also be drawn to these things quite easily. We don't always like to admit it, but we crave the very things we give.

Try to see some of his actions (e.g. being protective, defending you, being "proactively" supportive, complimenting you, etc.) for what they are--genuine actions as a Scorp, and try to avoid the mistake of seeing them as an indication of who he may be outside of your current dynamic (e.g. romantic partner).

You may need to reflect on what it is you feel you're missing from you partner (which is not an indication of a bad relationship) and speak to him to see how these things can develop with him.

I'm not gonna speak on the rest of this Scorp's behaviour because he's just being triflin' and he knows it. You are too hon, but I still adore you 🙂

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

@PhoenixRising

The barrier had more to do with friendliness (socially) rather than professionalism. In fact, in terms of professionalism we had always treated each other the same. Strangely enough, back then when I noted this to my Goat. He was the one to encourage me to relax a bit and be a bit more friendly, to not be so curtly professional, and to develop a social friendship with the Stinger. I at the time, did not know how to broach that gap as I was so very much in love with my Goat that I did not want any misunderstandings happening. Goat, always pushed me to have a coffee or dinner with the Stinger. I half heartedly tried a couple times in the past, but the Stinger never took it on and I never pushed.

Goat knows about everything, up until the recent emotional infatuation that I feel. This includes all the industry events, the hand kiss, the hugs etc. Mostly because Goat is also apart of the greater circle of the industry. So all our network/ friendship circles collide. I did not have the need to hide the events, he could have verified everything with most of our mutual friends. As for the rough patch he actually encouraged me to tell the Stinger, when in fact I was quite nerve racked to share it with him. He, and all my friends encouraged me to reach out to him as he had the ability to aid in my transition to my next career challenge.

So I did.

I shared with him the situation because he was a client of mine, and my rough patch or rather specifically departure from the company I was working for due to contract issues (I won't delve into the details here) would affect the many projects I was developing with him on over the past year. It meant being unable to close a big deal, in which he had strongly supported and negotiated on his side for (on my behalf). He vouched for me, professionally for a long time. I owed it to him to let him honestly know why I had to leave, as I have all the other clients of mine. So this was not an exclusive to him information, but an exclusive to a very select few within my client circle information.

Keep in mind everything that happened, happened publicly. Nothing ever happened privately. It was in full view of the industry. It is the emotional aspect that I am worried about within (within myself), maybe because I feel guilty that I could even be able to have such emotions again when I have chosen to be with my Goat. I feel guilty as if I cheated, even though I did not do anything that was an equivalent to cheating. My Goat and I have had this conversation in the past. He believes that we both will at some point have an infatuation with other people but how we deal with them will determine how strong our commitment is. He was not so phased about these emotions, when at the time of the conversation (prior to the Stinger infatuation) I was not pleased to hear he could potentially feel that for another woman.

I didn't see this before my last reply, my notifications are turned off, so unless I come back to a thread I have no idea someone has responded to me. You may have addressed what I wrote above in this post. I will read this in a bit.

Posted by PhoenixStorm

I think that you’re only falling for him because he was protective over you.. that’s a turn on for scorp females to have a man stand up for us. but that’s a scorps loyalty to stand up for their friends. Before you risk it all, keep in mind that you said he is a Casanova type.

Only you know his personality or reputation, maybe it’s not that bad.. but tread lightly. It sounds fun but also sounds like trouble to me.

Hmm, I thought this as well. However, my Goat stood up for me as well but in a much less expressive and emotional manner. The Stinger gent, was ready to go out there and fight for / with me. My Goat, was ready to catch me if I fall or piece me together should I fail. One is more proactive, the other is more supportive. Both are standing up for me. I think I was just caught up in the emotionality of the proactive method as it was more immediate.

You are right though if I had to really think about it, it is not so different as to what I would do for my friends or sometimes even strangers that need my help.

No, it is outright trouble. No good could come out of this, just those damn bloody emotions. They simply cannot behave until I wrangle them to their death 😭

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by sweethearts

Somethings missing in your relationship with the Cap. You’re not excited by him like in the beginning and the Scorp has sparked that.

Do you talk to your Cap about your issues at work? Does he understand or try to? You need to open up to him and allow him to support you the way you need and not lean on the Scorp.

You would be better to Maintain your distance from Scorp and don’t allow him to touch you. You should keep a healthy professional distance.

If not you will continue to feed the excitement of the forbidden fruit and risk damaging your relationship permanently!

My Goat knows everything about my work issues, more than anyone else including the Stinger. He has always been understanding and supportive in the way that he could. However, he knows of his limitations in terms of his ability to advise or problem solve with me. Which was why he always encouraged me to reach out to my friends and eventually this Stinger as well. Actually, I was indecisive for a long time before I finally took his suggestion.

Besides the recent, hand kiss and hug, nothing ever happened physically. Also it was in full public view of all our mutual circles, so I knew better and behaved. I was aware enough of that despite the infatuation. I have been maintaining a physical distance in terms of that and did not encourage more. I too was worried about the professional side of things because if this infatuation grows. As a fellow Stinger I know this could only go south, because I would not leave my Goat for him (if it ever came to it). It would also mean I lose all the good will, I have built up with him professionally. That would cost me greatly. In that way, I am far too ambitious career wise to watch my work go up in flames.

Well hey, just answering your questions @sweethearts helped me find some levelling ground of sanity back.

Maybe because my Goat has been distant as of late. He has a lot of earth in his chart, Goat and Bull. His bouts of passion does not flare up often but when it does, it always takes my breathe away and leaves me speechless. However those occasion are very far and few in between. He has also been a bit more needy as of late, and hampering my independence in attempts to perhaps control me. If I reply to a message of his a few minutes later than he had wanted, he would blow up my phone with missed calls and messages. He even tried to inflict a curfew on me, saying that it was because he was worried about my well being and safety. If he had it his way I would be at home always before midnight, preferably before 11 pm with dinner ready for him. I told him that was not happening, but that I was willing to consistently update him (as is possible) during my evenings out be it with friends or networking dinners.

click to expand

Do you think that your man is intuitively picking up on your vibes with the Scorp? And this is why he is acting this way?

Not sure of your routine and why you’d be out till after 12.00 but perhaps you could/should spend some quality time together. Find some of that excitement that was there in the beginning, 2-3 years into a relationship we start to take one another for granted and put other things ahead of our partners when this is the exact time we should be making sure our love is still rekindling.

It's always good to read up your stories, I really like the way you write lol

How are you ? 🙂

Hummm...those butterflies of a new infatuation, wowow, it's so god damn good, isn't it ? hehe

Don't beat yourself up for it. It is what is. Trying to deny our own emotion is a sure path to "darkness", we feel what we feel.

I am not sure I am the right person to give you the "morally accepted" advice by the rules of society, and I will probably add more fire into it instead of water (or in this case, earth lol).

But you know, the more you repress it, the worse it will be for you, and chances are if you don't repress it, he will fuck up things sooner or later and break those butterflies inside of you for himself before anything happens, or well...not lol

In the end it depends on you, what is that you want ?

Posted by sweethearts

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by sweethearts

Somethings missing in your relationship with the Cap. You’re not excited by him like in the beginning and the Scorp has sparked that.

Do you talk to your Cap about your issues at work? Does he understand or try to? You need to open up to him and allow him to support you the way you need and not lean on the Scorp.

You would be better to Maintain your distance from Scorp and don’t allow him to touch you. You should keep a healthy professional distance.

If not you will continue to feed the excitement of the forbidden fruit and risk damaging your relationship permanently!

My Goat knows everything about my work issues, more than anyone else including the Stinger. He has always been understanding and supportive in the way that he could. However, he knows of his limitations in terms of his ability to advise or problem solve with me. Which was why he always encouraged me to reach out to my friends and eventually this Stinger as well. Actually, I was indecisive for a long time before I finally took his suggestion.

Besides the recent, hand kiss and hug, nothing ever happened physically. Also it was in full public view of all our mutual circles, so I knew better and behaved. I was aware enough of that despite the infatuation. I have been maintaining a physical distance in terms of that and did not encourage more. I too was worried about the professional side of things because if this infatuation grows. As a fellow Stinger I know this could only go south, because I would not leave my Goat for him (if it ever came to it). It would also mean I lose all the good will, I have built up with him professionally. That would cost me greatly. In that way, I am far too ambitious career wise to watch my work go up in flames.

Well hey, just answering your questions @sweethearts helped me find some levelling ground of sanity back.

Maybe because my Goat has been distant as of late. He has a lot of earth in his chart, Goat and Bull. His bouts of passion does not flare up often but when it does, it always takes my breathe away and leaves me speechless. However those occasion are very far and few in between. He has also been a bit more needy as of late, and hampering my independence in attempts to perhaps control me. If I reply to a message of his a few minutes later than he had wanted, he would blow up my phone with missed calls and messages. He even tried to inflict a curfew on me, saying that it was because he was worried about my well being and safety. If he had it his way I would be at home always before midnight, preferably before 11 pm with dinner ready for him. I told him that was not happening, but that I was willing to consistently update him (as is possible) during my evenings out be it with friends or networking dinners.

Do you think that your man is intuitively picking up on your vibes with the Scorp? And this is why he is acting this way?

Not sure of your routine and why you’d be out till after 12.00 but perhaps you could/should spend some quality time together. Find some of that excitement that was there in the beginning, 2-3 years into a relationship we start to take one another for granted and put other things ahead of our partners when this is the exact time we should be making sure our love is still rekindling.

click to expand

Both my Goat and my own professional careers would often demand us to finish later than usual. So in our line of work, those hours are not out of the ordinary. Difference being, he is stuck at one location where as I have more flexibility in my schedule. He is aware networking, and closing deals outside the office is a big part of what I do. This was actually one of the main reasons why our relationship has worked out so far. We understood the demands necessary of our industry.

Perhaps, although usually if he sensed anything regarding another man he would communicate his jealousy or possessiveness. Then we would make a game plan to resolve it together. If he did in fact picked it up, then he is also acting differently. I think I may need to dig further into this and open up a conversation with my Goat.

Thanks @sweethearts !

Posted by PhoenixStorm

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by PhoenixStorm

I think that you’re only falling for him because he was protective over you.. that’s a turn on for scorp females to have a man stand up for us. but that’s a scorps loyalty to stand up for their friends. Before you risk it all, keep in mind that you said he is a Casanova type.

Only you know his personality or reputation, maybe it’s not that bad.. but tread lightly. It sounds fun but also sounds like trouble to me.

Hmm, I thought this as well. However, my Goat stood up for me as well but in a much less expressive and emotional manner. The Stinger gent, was ready to go out there and fight for / with me. My Goat, was ready to catch me if I fall or piece me together should I fail. One is more proactive, the other is more supportive. Both are standing up for me. I think I was just caught up in the emotionality of the proactive method as it was more immediate.

You are right though if I had to really think about it, it is not so different as to what I would do for my friends or sometimes even strangers that need my help.

No, it is outright trouble. No good could come out of this, just those damn bloody emotions. They simply cannot behave until I wrangle them to their death 😭

I developed feelings for a Pisces coworker about 15 years ago, he was overweight and not my usual type.. but he stood up for me to my boss and it was sexy as hell. I had the rose colored glasses on after that point. Lol but prior to that, I wouldn’t have even looked his way. We LOVE strong men. I can absolutely see why he would have you head over heels. Are you and the goat healthy? Is it a balanced relationship? I also spent over 10 years with a goat, I always felt it was slightly unbalanced though as I wanted a more permanent commitment and he could take it or leave it. It sometimes made me curious about what it would be like to date the other men that pursued me since I was not getting the commitment from him (although I never acted on this curiosity, it was definitely there). Sometimes I wonder if we grow bored with the slow moving goats.

click to expand

My Goat and I have our ups and downs, some of those are more severe than others but in the end we stuck it through. Generally, we are relatively balanced. What my weaknesses are, his strength balances and vice versa. However, given the dynamic of our relationship I would say I am the brains and he is the impenetrable wall of sheer force and will. What I lack in determination or ability to be grounded without flitting about, he has. Where as I grew and developed his social skills, teaching him how to network. He has definitely become more creative and open minded since we have been together.

In terms of commitment, he was ready to jump into far before I did. That was never an issue, we often already discussed where and how we could take it further. Marriage, children, family, etc. were areas we always spoke of and plan towards. Their slow moving traits I need, more than I think I do. I could be impatient and impulsive (positively speaking spontaneous and creative). He helps me create my own stability in my life, taming the beast of anxiety and panic. It is the lack of emotionality from Goats that sometimes I find difficult to work with.

They show love through actions, at least mine does, since he is almost all Goat and Bull. Rare are the words, romance, physical adorations etc. He has improved a bit since the beginning of our relationship, because we discussed our different love language and tried to find a middle ground. At the end of the day I am a Stinger, I want to express my love and emotions, intensely and often. It sometimes overwhelms him or leaves him feeling helpless, unable to reciprocate.

I love him for his positive traits and especially more so the ones he brings out of me. He never enables me more so he helps me grow more into my strengths to offset my weaknesses. He has helped made me a better person. But there is that emotional fire missing, I know he has it within him but he never seems to let it out.

Posted by IamTheRam

It's always good to read up your stories, I really like the way you write lol

How are you ? 🙂

Hummm...those butterflies of a new infatuation, wowow, it's so god damn good, isn't it ? hehe

Don't beat yourself up for it. It is what is. Trying to deny our own emotion is a sure path to "darkness", we feel what we feel.

I am not sure I am the right person to give you the "morally accepted" advice by the rules of society, and I will probably add more fire into it instead of water (or in this case, earth lol).

But you know, the more you repress it, the worse it will be for you, and chances are if you don't repress it, he will fuck up things sooner or later and break those butterflies inside of you for himself before anything happens, or well...not lol

In the end it depends on you, what is that you want ?

This is one of the most Aries influenced response and advise ever 😛

How have you been, @IAmTheRam?

No, as wishful thinking as that I would like to pursue. The adult in me knows better. If I were to take off the rose coloured glasses, and if these emotions will just die away. Then past life experiences will have taught me to not take my Goat for granted because he has been one of the best things to happen to me in many years. If I screw it up with my Goat, I will have lost someone who may not be perfect (like myself as well) but is the best match for me that I doubt I will find again.

Lets hope I could bring back those former feelings and lack of interest in this Stinger. In that way, I could move on easier without damaging any professional good will.

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Keep in mind everything that happened, happened publicly. Nothing ever happened privately.

Well I would say 97% of a Scorp's experience is private, so I guess I would challenge that "nothing happened privately". I know you're referring to a physical indiscretion, but with every interaction something has shifted privately for you. Hence your guilt, even though you have not done anything to cross the line. Desire is a hell of a drug.

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

My Goat and I have had this conversation in the past. He believes that we both will at some point have an infatuation with other people but how we deal with them will determine how strong our commitment is. He was not so phased about these emotions, when at the time of the conversation (prior to the Stinger infatuation) I was not pleased to hear he could potentially feel that for another woman.

click to expand

Based on everything you've written it sounds like your Cap trusts you very much, or is quite naive and I don't know Caps to be the latter. If nothing else, think about how much his trust is worth to you. If you value it, honour it and perhaps that will help you with possible impulses in the future.

As for being infatuated with someone else while being in a relationship, I think that it is possible to desire another person when there is a gap. The gap may be within the relationship, or within the person him/herself. You have a choice to act on your desire, or see it as an "alarm" telling you to figure out what the gap is so that you can fill it in a way that will keep your relationship intact. If that is in fact what you want.

As we develop and grow within or outside of a relationship our needs change. We change, even if it is ever so slightly. Sometime we aren't doing anything to keep up with that change and a gap develops and grows. It's normal. Figure it out.

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

My Goat knows everything about my work issues, more than anyone else including the Stinger. He has always been understanding and supportive in the way that he could. However, he knows of his limitations in terms of his ability to advise or problem solve with me. Which was why he always encouraged me to reach out to my friends and eventually this Stinger as well. Actually, I was indecisive for a long time before I finally took his suggestion.

Why were you indecisive?

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Maybe because my Goat has been distant as of late. He has a lot of earth in his chart, Goat and Bull. His bouts of passion does not flare up often but when it does, it always takes my breathe away and leaves me speechless. However those occasion are very far and few in between. He has also been a bit more needy as of late, and hampering my independence in attempts to perhaps control me. If I reply to a message of his a few minutes later than he had wanted, he would blow up my phone with missed calls and messages. He even tried to inflict a curfew on me...

click to expand

Well, so much for my comment about trust lol, even though that doesn't sound like it's about a lack of trust and about something else.

Anyway, seem like you found your gap(s).

Posted by PhoenixRising

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Keep in mind everything that happened, happened publicly. Nothing ever happened privately.

Well I would say 97% of a Scorp's experiences is private, so I guess I would challenge that "nothing happened privately". I know you're referring to a physical indiscretion, but with every interaction something has shifted privately for you. Hence your guilt, even though you have not done anything to cross the line. Desire is a hell of a drug.

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

My Goat and I have had this conversation in the past. He believes that we both will at some point have an infatuation with other people but how we deal with them will determine how strong our commitment is. He was not so phased about these emotions, when at the time of the conversation (prior to the Stinger infatuation) I was not pleased to hear he could potentially feel that for another woman.

Based on everything you've written it sounds like your Cap trusts you very much, or is quite naive and I don't know Caps to be the latter. If nothing else, think about how much his trust is worth to you. If you value it, honour it and perhaps that will help you with possible impulses in the future.

As for being infatuated with someone else while being in a relationship, I think that it is possible to desire another person when there is a gap. The gap may be within the relationship, or within the person him/herself. You have a choice to act on your desire, or see it as an "alarm" telling you to figure out what the gap is so that you can fill it in a way that will keep your relationship intact. If that is in fact what you want.

As we develop and grow within or outside of a relationship our needs change. We change, even if it is ever so slightly. Sometime we aren't doing anything to keep up with that change and a gap develops and grows. It's normal. Figure it out.

click to expand

Sounds about right, nothing happened privately between the Stinger and I but privately within myself things were shifting. I say this because even the conversations I have with the Stinger, I usually fill the Goat in as well. It is just how our relationship is and our dynamic. Interesting you pointed that out, I needed to have it scolded out of me. So I regain my sane wits. Honestly, I could do better, by myself, by my Goat, as a fellow Stinger.

I suppose you are correct to say maybe some part of me grew, and I had not noticed. With so much happening, I did not self reflect and notice the change.

As for my Goat being naive, he could be, but more so that he chooses to be trusting. We spoke of this in the past, people think his kindness reflects upon his wits, and take it as stupidity. He really is not. He simply knows his limits very well and when people do him wrong enough, he will leave.

Also he has had his own indiscretions (not physical, but emotional) in the past, during our relationship. Some of which I caught, some of which he confessed early on so we both managed to nip it in the bud and salvage our commitment to each other. Perhaps, this may be why he is so lenient on me and understanding that such things happen. Except I feel guilty because for once, I am the other party now. I am where he once stood, even though I never cheated. I never cheated him or the relationship, but perhaps the trust he had in me ?

Lots to reflect on, but I think I will end up choosing the right way. Infatuation is temporary, and ultimately if I had to really think it through. The Stinger was never a good match for me, if he was I would have left my Goat early on and have pursued him properly with no guilt. If I had to look rationally down the line, I could see my life with my Goat and the Stinger does not factor in that picture.

Thanks @PhoenixRising, you will have to ice me out a bit until I am completely 100 percentage back to my senses. I will do good to regain representation of our sign, the female side of it that is 😄

Posted by PhoenixRising

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

My Goat knows everything about my work issues, more than anyone else including the Stinger. He has always been understanding and supportive in the way that he could. However, he knows of his limitations in terms of his ability to advise or problem solve with me. Which was why he always encouraged me to reach out to my friends and eventually this Stinger as well. Actually, I was indecisive for a long time before I finally took his suggestion.

Why were you indecisive?

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Maybe because my Goat has been distant as of late. He has a lot of earth in his chart, Goat and Bull. His bouts of passion does not flare up often but when it does, it always takes my breathe away and leaves me speechless. However those occasion are very far and few in between. He has also been a bit more needy as of late, and hampering my independence in attempts to perhaps control me. If I reply to a message of his a few minutes later than he had wanted, he would blow up my phone with missed calls and messages. He even tried to inflict a curfew on me...

Well, so much for my comment about trust lol, even though that doesn't sound like it's about a lack of trust and about something else.

Anyway, seem like you found your gap(s).

click to expand

I was indecisive because I was not sure if I told the Stinger, if it would ruin the professional goodwill between us. As I would be sharing a vulnerability. Although I knew it meant I have to take down a bit of that hyper professional wall between us and speak to him also as an individual. Subconsciously I think I knew this could have its consequences.

You see, ever since he knew of my Goat and I. He always treated me more warmly as compared to him. Goat has expressed this difference in treatment before. At the time, I thought it was simply because he knew me more than he knew my Goat. More recently, he kept expensing the professional meetings (total expenses on his behalf, and even markedly made a birthday surprise for me).

A part of me wonders if he was waiting for the floodgates to open because the Stinger before and after the situation, was so different. I did not even know he thought all those good things about me, or that he was watching my work outside of our project for a long time. When a Stinger does a 180 like that, usually it is because of suppression before or infatuation. The latter in which could cause my down fall if the infatuation gives way to reality and he does not like the reality (of my staying committed to my Goat). Then you know how the love-hate situation goes. I prefer to keep it neutral, for my career's sake but at this point I am not sure I still could (on my behalf, I could once I wrangle in my emotions, on his behalf, I am not so sure).

Recently at the industry event, the Stinger publicly made marked comments about my Goat's side of the industry versus his own. Making it seem his side was better, and pointedly expressed exactly why his is better and how it contributes to a better personality etc. To others, it seemed like a general comment but it felt targeted at my Goat. I am a Stinger as well, I know a veiled comment when I hear one. He seemed to be watching my response, which I gave him none. I was not about to give him the satisfaction that I would disrespect my Goat that way, I have ridden through the rough patches of his career with him. I know the dedication he puts into it. Keep in mind, the Stinger never made such remarks before. He always kept it professional in the past. Now, he does not hide his dislike of my Goat as much as he did before.

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Recently at the industry event, the Stinger publicly made marked comments about my Goat's side of the industry versus his own. Making it seem his side was better, and pointedly expressed exactly why his is better and how it contributes to a better personality etc. To others, it seemed like a general comment but it felt targeted at my Goat. I am a Stinger as well, I know a veiled comment when I hear one. He seemed to be watching my response, which I gave him none. I was not about to give him the satisfaction that I would disrespect my Goat that way, I have ridden through the rough patches of his career with him. I know the dedication he puts into it. Keep in mind, the Stinger never made such remarks before. He always kept it professional in the past. Now, he does not hide his dislike of my Goat as much as he did before.

Like I said, he's triflin'.

And yes!...



Happy belated!!

Infatuation is fine. Its not as if your gonna act on it, right. Right.

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by IamTheRam

It's always good to read up your stories, I really like the way you write lol

How are you ? 🙂

Hummm...those butterflies of a new infatuation, wowow, it's so god damn good, isn't it ? hehe

Don't beat yourself up for it. It is what is. Trying to deny our own emotion is a sure path to "darkness", we feel what we feel.

I am not sure I am the right person to give you the "morally accepted" advice by the rules of society, and I will probably add more fire into it instead of water (or in this case, earth lol).

But you know, the more you repress it, the worse it will be for you, and chances are if you don't repress it, he will fuck up things sooner or later and break those butterflies inside of you for himself before anything happens, or well...not lol

In the end it depends on you, what is that you want ?

This is one of the most Aries influenced response and advise ever 😛

How have you been, @IAmTheRam?

No, as wishful thinking as that I would like to pursue. The adult in me knows better. If I were to take off the rose coloured glasses, and if these emotions will just die away. Then past life experiences will have taught me to not take my Goat for granted because he has been one of the best things to happen to me in many years. If I screw it up with my Goat, I will have lost someone who may not be perfect (like myself as well) but is the best match for me that I doubt I will find again.

Lets hope I could bring back those former feelings and lack of interest in this Stinger. In that way, I could move on easier without damaging any professional good will.

click to expand

It really was, wasn't it ? It almost sounds like i am one... 😛

Reading your other posts here, I think I see where the problem is, and you also said it yourself in your first post.

As I see, I don't think this is a physical situation (at least from what you told us), and rather it is that one thing that every single woman on this planet craves for (no matter if it is a friend, a mother, a sister, a partner, a strange, etc..)...It is Attention.

If this is the issue at hand, then this is something you can work out with your partner. You seem to be very experienced in relationships to know what really matters in one, and thus, you can clearly see the value in your Cap partner. Most inexperienced people still think that Love and Romance are the same thing in a rship, but they are not. They watch too much Tv shows or read too many books.

As for now, I don't think it's wise that you talk with your Partner about this situation, I mean the lack of attention that he isn't giving to you. If you do that, he will add 2 and 2 and clearly see that you are clamming for attention because the other guy is giving that to you. Which will add more stress to all of it and create things in his mind that will escalate even further.

Christmas is around the corner, so this can also help in this situation. Use this time to try to go deeper in your rship (emotionally wise). Give him a chance to show that he can change and understand your needs by himself. And try to disconnect from the Scorp, I mean, if you want to "keep your wits about you".

Also...This is just me...and believe me that I am not judging you, but when the other guy made those remarks that he is better then your partner professionaly...I mean....I would most def step up. I would not let him say that. I would defend my partner's work to death and the butterflies would end up there.

Because that's how i see things, If "your" intentions towards me are pure, then you will never attack someone I Love.

And maybe you should really have said something (although it could have been a situation where you couldn't express yourself), because you know how people are, they talk behind the back..and then the rumor can spread that you didn't defend him...and then it reaches the ears of your Partner...and there you go...Another issue at hand in your rship, and one that he has full claims.

As for the rest of the situation and the fact that he was also in a similar case when you both started, I guess that he is being "naive" on purpose and giving you this one for "free", because he also passed through that in the past. I would bet on this one.

And that's what good guys do TLS. They do not kiss the hands or get physical hugs with a committed woman at work in front of everyone. Try to see things for what they are. You can take away those butterflies by yourself, you just have to want it.

Posted by LadyNeptune

Infatuation is fine. Its not as if your gonna act on it, right. Right.

I don’t think it is if you’re in a “happy” relationship?

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by LadyNeptune

Infatuation is fine. Its not as if your gonna act on it, right. Right.

I don’t think it is if you’re in a “happy” relationship?

click to expand

Meh idk I go through crushes/infatuation almost on the daily. Your cute, he’s cute, that interior just stole my heart *swoon

Doesn’t mean I want a relationship or that I’m not happy in mine.

Posted by GenXgem

I don’t know how it is for others, but when I’m truly in love, I only have eyes on my guy and he is the only guy on my mind.

You know when you get that butterfly feeling in your stomach when he calls you/texts you or you look into his eyes across the room and you look at each other with the “look”? I’m very big on body (non-verbal) communication.

Haha, maybe I’m just a Gemini romantic fool 🥰

I’m like that too.....nobody else matters if the guy is right for me

all I'm gonna say is be careful you don't end up losing both of them

It sounds more like Stockholm syndrome than infatuation...or this is how you should look at it 😉

You put yourself in danger by confiding in him, and so giving him power over your professional life. He was "protecting" you, but with men like him, there could be very well a price attached. You probably know that. The "infatuation" is your subconscious mind preparing yourself for the sacrifice by producing drugs to soften the blow.

Posted by PhoenixRising

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Recently at the industry event, the Stinger publicly made marked comments about my Goat's side of the industry versus his own. Making it seem his side was better, and pointedly expressed exactly why his is better and how it contributes to a better personality etc. To others, it seemed like a general comment but it felt targeted at my Goat. I am a Stinger as well, I know a veiled comment when I hear one. He seemed to be watching my response, which I gave him none. I was not about to give him the satisfaction that I would disrespect my Goat that way, I have ridden through the rough patches of his career with him. I know the dedication he puts into it. Keep in mind, the Stinger never made such remarks before. He always kept it professional in the past. Now, he does not hide his dislike of my Goat as much as he did before.

Like I said, he's triflin'.

And yes!...



Happy belated!!

click to expand

When I take the rose coloured glasses off. He most likely is trifling.

Thank you! Happy Belated Birthday to you as well!

Posted by dillweed

is everyone just going to skim over this dude’s leo moon & libra placements?

hm. i dont think this man is infatuated in return. sounds like he is being a really good work colleague.

OP why is your cap suddenly pulling all this needy/distant stuff? smothering with calls when you take too long to answer? stopping short of enacting a curfew? what is going on in his life that is making him respond like this?

as a scorpio, who has suffered infatuation while in a relationship, i became distant, cold, removed. are you sure you arent showing signs of being checked out? & the cap is picking up on this?

That is a possibility, except he is not a work colleague but a client.

Good questions, I actually opened up the conversation with him. He said he felt he was losing me in terms of attention and attraction. When we go out together, he feels we are more friends than a couple. You see, just about one month ago he reached a point where he complained stating that he wished we did not spend all our free time together (which is not a lot of time, since we work a fair bit). He felt my intensity, and attention was too much for him. He made note that he prefer I spend time with other friends as well, and nurture those social interactions as well. So I finally did exactly that.

Initially he was happy for me, but when he realised how social I could also be (since I am an ambivert) he felt uncomfortable with it. I told him, he could not have it both ways. He encourages me one way, then when he got what he wanted, he felt uneasy about it. I asked him to reflect on what he really wanted from me, and our relationship in terms of time spent together and attention. Since I can not be penalised both ways. We ended the conversation on good terms, that he needs to reflect as much as I do.

Well, the infatuation has not happened for long. It was only in the last two weeks. I can here early to write about it because I want to still have room to keep it under control. Instead of possibly go into the realm of emotional cheating, and then coming here for validation. That was not my goal, and besides DXP should be the last place to go to after having done wrong, and try to be a victim. At the moment, I am still sane enough to nip everything in the bud. After all, I do not want to be a victim because I am not.

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Hi there all my fellow Stingers!

Ah shit... it happened.

I am infatuated with a Stinger gent.

Scorpio Sun

Leo Moon

Libra Mercury

Libra Venus

Aries Mars

This came out of the blue, and the emotions took me by surprise. Since I have been in a great relationship with my Earthy Goat for a while now.



Long story short, I met this Stinger gent a couple months after my first date with my Earthy Goat. However, at the time we only knew each other professionally as we were in the same industry (still am). He was very well known in this industry so from a far I always admired and respected him a lot. Strangely enough, I never found him attractive then. In fact, he was quite enamoured with a few of my friends. I played a part, to help him get more chances with them. Since his feelings at the time seemed genuine, and I felt bad for him though he had a Casanova reputation.

I could see as social as he was, inside he had a shy side as well (which he admitted to me once). Unfortunately for him, none of my friends returned his feelings. He used to lament to me why he is still lonely that he only wanted to meet someone who was fiery, extroverted in personality as compared to him but also as sociable as he could be. From what I gather, looks never seemed a priority in his female interests. As they all looked rather diverse, personality and intelligence was always what he highlighted. This I also respected. Although, in all the time we knew each other (2 years now), we kept a somewhat friendly but professional distance from each other in terms of communications. I felt more of a barrier from him, than I (especially so when my Earthy Goat is with me).

Recently, I went through a rough patch professionally. Since he was an industry connection somewhat linked to me, I had chosen to share it with him. The situation was a very vulnerable one, so it took a lot out of me to express it. Not only did he listen attentively, he became surprisingly protective, defending me and proactively supportive of me. I knew my friends experienced this side of him but I never did.

He began complimenting me to others, helping me in which way possible to highlight me in the most positive light within the industry. He softened a lot in the way he communicates with me. Yet sprinkled along this, he sometimes distances himself again. There is a level of awkwardness between us that can not see to go away. He would show up beside me in industry event, kiss my hand, or even make sure to hug me. He would sometimes make certain jokes, that if I questioned jokingly he would take it back really quickly because he thought he offended me (I was not, I was just pulling his leg). The stare he gives, is one I know all to well as I have done it to others when I was still single. The individualised attention sparked up an alert on my Stinger radar. Yet he would avoid me equally as much as well. I know, why I would act this way but I am not sure if this hot and cold is because he is struggling with an infatuation as much as I am right now, that I am in a relationship (yes I am all too aware and have not done anything that broke the code of that commitment) or I am over thinking it. All of which I know could be a Stinger weakness.



Emotionally, I am topsy turvy right now. Rationally, I am beating myself to a pulp over this stupidity. Far too old, to fall down this rabbit hole but here I am.

Now is the time to revoke my Stinger card, and for you all to kick me out. Hah!

This is so god awfully silly especially since I am very much committed to my Earthy Goat but then I do not know why these emotions came about after so long. The obsession is annoying me, the more I suppress it, the more it seems to grow in intensity.



Any advice fellow Stingers, or even a scolding?

Do you have venus in scorpio?

Posted by AgentP911

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Hi there all my fellow Stingers!

Ah shit... it happened.

I am infatuated with a Stinger gent.

Scorpio Sun

Leo Moon

Libra Mercury

Libra Venus

Aries Mars

This came out of the blue, and the emotions took me by surprise. Since I have been in a great relationship with my Earthy Goat for a while now.



Long story short, I met this Stinger gent a couple months after my first date with my Earthy Goat. However, at the time we only knew each other professionally as we were in the same industry (still am). He was very well known in this industry so from a far I always admired and respected him a lot. Strangely enough, I never found him attractive then. In fact, he was quite enamoured with a few of my friends. I played a part, to help him get more chances with them. Since his feelings at the time seemed genuine, and I felt bad for him though he had a Casanova reputation.

I could see as social as he was, inside he had a shy side as well (which he admitted to me once). Unfortunately for him, none of my friends returned his feelings. He used to lament to me why he is still lonely that he only wanted to meet someone who was fiery, extroverted in personality as compared to him but also as sociable as he could be. From what I gather, looks never seemed a priority in his female interests. As they all looked rather diverse, personality and intelligence was always what he highlighted. This I also respected. Although, in all the time we knew each other (2 years now), we kept a somewhat friendly but professional distance from each other in terms of communications. I felt more of a barrier from him, than I (especially so when my Earthy Goat is with me).

Recently, I went through a rough patch professionally. Since he was an industry connection somewhat linked to me, I had chosen to share it with him. The situation was a very vulnerable one, so it took a lot out of me to express it. Not only did he listen attentively, he became surprisingly protective, defending me and proactively supportive of me. I knew my friends experienced this side of him but I never did.

He began complimenting me to others, helping me in which way possible to highlight me in the most positive light within the industry. He softened a lot in the way he communicates with me. Yet sprinkled along this, he sometimes distances himself again. There is a level of awkwardness between us that can not see to go away. He would show up beside me in industry event, kiss my hand, or even make sure to hug me. He would sometimes make certain jokes, that if I questioned jokingly he would take it back really quickly because he thought he offended me (I was not, I was just pulling his leg). The stare he gives, is one I know all to well as I have done it to others when I was still single. The individualised attention sparked up an alert on my Stinger radar. Yet he would avoid me equally as much as well. I know, why I would act this way but I am not sure if this hot and cold is because he is struggling with an infatuation as much as I am right now, that I am in a relationship (yes I am all too aware and have not done anything that broke the code of that commitment) or I am over thinking it. All of which I know could be a Stinger weakness.



Emotionally, I am topsy turvy right now. Rationally, I am beating myself to a pulp over this stupidity. Far too old, to fall down this rabbit hole but here I am.

Now is the time to revoke my Stinger card, and for you all to kick me out. Hah!

This is so god awfully silly especially since I am very much committed to my Earthy Goat but then I do not know why these emotions came about after so long. The obsession is annoying me, the more I suppress it, the more it seems to grow in intensity.



Any advice fellow Stingers, or even a scolding?

Do you have venus in scorpio?

click to expand

Yes, I do

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by AgentP911

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Hi there all my fellow Stingers!

Ah shit... it happened.

I am infatuated with a Stinger gent.

Scorpio Sun

Leo Moon

Libra Mercury

Libra Venus

Aries Mars

This came out of the blue, and the emotions took me by surprise. Since I have been in a great relationship with my Earthy Goat for a while now.



Long story short, I met this Stinger gent a couple months after my first date with my Earthy Goat. However, at the time we only knew each other professionally as we were in the same industry (still am). He was very well known in this industry so from a far I always admired and respected him a lot. Strangely enough, I never found him attractive then. In fact, he was quite enamoured with a few of my friends. I played a part, to help him get more chances with them. Since his feelings at the time seemed genuine, and I felt bad for him though he had a Casanova reputation.

I could see as social as he was, inside he had a shy side as well (which he admitted to me once). Unfortunately for him, none of my friends returned his feelings. He used to lament to me why he is still lonely that he only wanted to meet someone who was fiery, extroverted in personality as compared to him but also as sociable as he could be. From what I gather, looks never seemed a priority in his female interests. As they all looked rather diverse, personality and intelligence was always what he highlighted. This I also respected. Although, in all the time we knew each other (2 years now), we kept a somewhat friendly but professional distance from each other in terms of communications. I felt more of a barrier from him, than I (especially so when my Earthy Goat is with me).

Recently, I went through a rough patch professionally. Since he was an industry connection somewhat linked to me, I had chosen to share it with him. The situation was a very vulnerable one, so it took a lot out of me to express it. Not only did he listen attentively, he became surprisingly protective, defending me and proactively supportive of me. I knew my friends experienced this side of him but I never did.

He began complimenting me to others, helping me in which way possible to highlight me in the most positive light within the industry. He softened a lot in the way he communicates with me. Yet sprinkled along this, he sometimes distances himself again. There is a level of awkwardness between us that can not see to go away. He would show up beside me in industry event, kiss my hand, or even make sure to hug me. He would sometimes make certain jokes, that if I questioned jokingly he would take it back really quickly because he thought he offended me (I was not, I was just pulling his leg). The stare he gives, is one I know all to well as I have done it to others when I was still single. The individualised attention sparked up an alert on my Stinger radar. Yet he would avoid me equally as much as well. I know, why I would act this way but I am not sure if this hot and cold is because he is struggling with an infatuation as much as I am right now, that I am in a relationship (yes I am all too aware and have not done anything that broke the code of that commitment) or I am over thinking it. All of which I know could be a Stinger weakness.



Emotionally, I am topsy turvy right now. Rationally, I am beating myself to a pulp over this stupidity. Far too old, to fall down this rabbit hole but here I am.

Now is the time to revoke my Stinger card, and for you all to kick me out. Hah!

This is so god awfully silly especially since I am very much committed to my Earthy Goat but then I do not know why these emotions came about after so long. The obsession is annoying me, the more I suppress it, the more it seems to grow in intensity.



Any advice fellow Stingers, or even a scolding?

Do you have venus in scorpio?

Yes, I do

click to expand

I thought so.

I'm Scorpio Sun with Venus in Scorpio too so I recognised your story.

Will have a think and a fuller read before offering my thoughts. Some good posts here already which is good.

I think it may be the newness and also the individualized attention. It makes you feel special, and you feel this bond is only between you two. It's like you share this connection without saying anything. You know there may be no future to this, but you like that this feels mutual, even if for a short while. And since it didn't start with attraction right away, it feels more deep, like you connect on a spiritual/emotional level and now that also makes them attractive.

Posted by IamTheRam

Hummm...those butterflies of a new infatuation, wowow, it's so god damn good, isn't it ? hehe

^^ this

I just have to add how retarded the Cap is (not just yours, I'm going through the aftermath of a breakup with one and this is one of those days when I hate his guts).

Confessing infatuation with another woman! Then asking to see LESS of you! Then wanting to control your schedule. Then complaining that he doesn't get enough attention and attraction (?!).

Where did these morons learn about romantic relationships...?!

Dear bloody Goats! We are NOT a complaining office! If you don't like the dynamics any longer, change your arrogant and self-obsessed self FIRST! Be a man (I initially typed be a nan, lol) and lead by example! Nobody wants to commit to a new, fresh and exciting relationship .......with a grumpy grandpa!

OOf. End of rant.

Idk seems to me like your relationship with the goat can't be mended. Once emotions are involved with someone else that's a clear cut sign whatever you have going on must come to an end. Perhaps your relationship has ran it's course, people change over the years and what was good for them few years back no longer suits them or their needs. I don't support most of comments here, your relationship with cap has been going on for quite a while now, ask yourself is this the man you want to marry? On the other hand I would never trust someone with said reputation, doesn't look good to me he's tried all your friends before you. You may have fallen out of love with the cap, sit down with him and talk to him. If you don't love him anymore then let him go

Posted by GenXgem

@TheLadyScorpio,

“The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it. Resist it, and your soul grows sick with longing for the things it has forbidden to itself, with desire for what its monstrous laws have made monstrous and unlawful.” 😉. (Oscar Wilde)

I don’t suggest you should cheat on your current partner, please don’t. That’s just bad in every sense and also negative karma that will get caught up with you.

But maybe you should sincerely evaluate what might be missing with your Capricorn man. He could be great on paper, but is the spark still there? And I’m not saying you should chase rainbows and butterflies as soon as a new shiny thing comes along. Just ask yourself honestly what might be missing in your current relationship? Is it salvageable?

This Casanova type might offer some instant excitement, but who knows how he is as a partner? Maybe he is not that great as in your fantasy.

Still, I believe in happiness and honesty. No point living a lie. The best is to be open and honest to your partner, if you decide to leave him. Capricorn are stoic men. He will appreciate no nonsense approach.

Oscar Wilde did not resist temptation and he ended up in jail.

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Hi there all my fellow Stingers!

Ah shit... it happened.

I am infatuated with a Stinger gent.

Scorpio Sun

Leo Moon

Libra Mercury

Libra Venus

Aries Mars

This came out of the blue, and the emotions took me by surprise. Since I have been in a great relationship with my Earthy Goat for a while now.



Long story short, I met this Stinger gent a couple months after my first date with my Earthy Goat. However, at the time we only knew each other professionally as we were in the same industry (still am). He was very well known in this industry so from a far I always admired and respected him a lot. Strangely enough, I never found him attractive then. In fact, he was quite enamoured with a few of my friends. I played a part, to help him get more chances with them. Since his feelings at the time seemed genuine, and I felt bad for him though he had a Casanova reputation.

I could see as social as he was, inside he had a shy side as well (which he admitted to me once). Unfortunately for him, none of my friends returned his feelings. He used to lament to me why he is still lonely that he only wanted to meet someone who was fiery, extroverted in personality as compared to him but also as sociable as he could be. From what I gather, looks never seemed a priority in his female interests. As they all looked rather diverse, personality and intelligence was always what he highlighted. This I also respected. Although, in all the time we knew each other (2 years now), we kept a somewhat friendly but professional distance from each other in terms of communications. I felt more of a barrier from him, than I (especially so when my Earthy Goat is with me).

Recently, I went through a rough patch professionally. Since he was an industry connection somewhat linked to me, I had chosen to share it with him. The situation was a very vulnerable one, so it took a lot out of me to express it. Not only did he listen attentively, he became surprisingly protective, defending me and proactively supportive of me. I knew my friends experienced this side of him but I never did.

He began complimenting me to others, helping me in which way possible to highlight me in the most positive light within the industry. He softened a lot in the way he communicates with me. Yet sprinkled along this, he sometimes distances himself again. There is a level of awkwardness between us that can not see to go away. He would show up beside me in industry event, kiss my hand, or even make sure to hug me. He would sometimes make certain jokes, that if I questioned jokingly he would take it back really quickly because he thought he offended me (I was not, I was just pulling his leg). The stare he gives, is one I know all to well as I have done it to others when I was still single. The individualised attention sparked up an alert on my Stinger radar. Yet he would avoid me equally as much as well. I know, why I would act this way but I am not sure if this hot and cold is because he is struggling with an infatuation as much as I am right now, that I am in a relationship (yes I am all too aware and have not done anything that broke the code of that commitment) or I am over thinking it. All of which I know could be a Stinger weakness.



Emotionally, I am topsy turvy right now. Rationally, I am beating myself to a pulp over this stupidity. Far too old, to fall down this rabbit hole but here I am.

Now is the time to revoke my Stinger card, and for you all to kick me out. Hah!

This is so god awfully silly especially since I am very much committed to my Earthy Goat but then I do not know why these emotions came about after so long. The obsession is annoying me, the more I suppress it, the more it seems to grow in intensity.



Any advice fellow Stingers, or even a scolding?

Love triangles never end well.

Someone is going to get hurt....

Posted by Chessmess

Posted by GenXgem

@TheLadyScorpio,

“The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it. Resist it, and your soul grows sick with longing for the things it has forbidden to itself, with desire for what its monstrous laws have made monstrous and unlawful.” 😉. (Oscar Wilde)

I don’t suggest you should cheat on your current partner, please don’t. That’s just bad in every sense and also negative karma that will get caught up with you.

But maybe you should sincerely evaluate what might be missing with your Capricorn man. He could be great on paper, but is the spark still there? And I’m not saying you should chase rainbows and butterflies as soon as a new shiny thing comes along. Just ask yourself honestly what might be missing in your current relationship? Is it salvageable?

This Casanova type might offer some instant excitement, but who knows how he is as a partner? Maybe he is not that great as in your fantasy.

Still, I believe in happiness and honesty. No point living a lie. The best is to be open and honest to your partner, if you decide to leave him. Capricorn are stoic men. He will appreciate no nonsense approach.

Oscar Wilde did not resist temptation and he ended up in jail.

click to expand

Oscar was a homosexual and it was a criminal offence then and he was charged with gross misconduct ....

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by Chessmess

Posted by GenXgem

@TheLadyScorpio,

“The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it. Resist it, and your soul grows sick with longing for the things it has forbidden to itself, with desire for what its monstrous laws have made monstrous and unlawful.” 😉. (Oscar Wilde)

I don’t suggest you should cheat on your current partner, please don’t. That’s just bad in every sense and also negative karma that will get caught up with you.

But maybe you should sincerely evaluate what might be missing with your Capricorn man. He could be great on paper, but is the spark still there? And I’m not saying you should chase rainbows and butterflies as soon as a new shiny thing comes along. Just ask yourself honestly what might be missing in your current relationship? Is it salvageable?

This Casanova type might offer some instant excitement, but who knows how he is as a partner? Maybe he is not that great as in your fantasy.

Still, I believe in happiness and honesty. No point living a lie. The best is to be open and honest to your partner, if you decide to leave him. Capricorn are stoic men. He will appreciate no nonsense approach.

Oscar Wilde did not resist temptation and he ended up in jail.

Oscar was a homosexual and it was a criminal offence then and he was charged with gross misconduct ....

click to expand

Read between the lines

You don't resist, you nothing good will come out of it.

Posted by dillweed

Posted by Chessmess

Posted by GenXgem

@TheLadyScorpio,

“The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it. Resist it, and your soul grows sick with longing for the things it has forbidden to itself, with desire for what its monstrous laws have made monstrous and unlawful.” 😉. (Oscar Wilde)

I don’t suggest you should cheat on your current partner, please don’t. That’s just bad in every sense and also negative karma that will get caught up with you.

But maybe you should sincerely evaluate what might be missing with your Capricorn man. He could be great on paper, but is the spark still there? And I’m not saying you should chase rainbows and butterflies as soon as a new shiny thing comes along. Just ask yourself honestly what might be missing in your current relationship? Is it salvageable?

This Casanova type might offer some instant excitement, but who knows how he is as a partner? Maybe he is not that great as in your fantasy.

Still, I believe in happiness and honesty. No point living a lie. The best is to be open and honest to your partner, if you decide to leave him. Capricorn are stoic men. He will appreciate no nonsense approach.

Oscar Wilde did not resist temptation and he ended up in jail.

where he became unbelievably ill, lost all of his wealth, & ultimately suffered an untimely demise in squalor 😂

but, he was jailed for sodomy. which idk if i would consider that “temptation”... more like mere sexual preference during a time where such preference was illegal.

click to expand

He was married. He yield temptation therefore he cheated...whether its with a man or a woman.

Posted by GenXgem

Posted by Chessmess

Posted by GenXgem

@TheLadyScorpio,

“The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it. Resist it, and your soul grows sick with longing for the things it has forbidden to itself, with desire for what its monstrous laws have made monstrous and unlawful.” 😉. (Oscar Wilde)

I don’t suggest you should cheat on your current partner, please don’t. That’s just bad in every sense and also negative karma that will get caught up with you.

But maybe you should sincerely evaluate what might be missing with your Capricorn man. He could be great on paper, but is the spark still there? And I’m not saying you should chase rainbows and butterflies as soon as a new shiny thing comes along. Just ask yourself honestly what might be missing in your current relationship? Is it salvageable?

This Casanova type might offer some instant excitement, but who knows how he is as a partner? Maybe he is not that great as in your fantasy.

Still, I believe in happiness and honesty. No point living a lie. The best is to be open and honest to your partner, if you decide to leave him. Capricorn are stoic men. He will appreciate no nonsense approach.

Oscar Wilde did not resist temptation and he ended up in jail.

He went to jail for his sexual orientation which was a crime back then. I wouldn’t call that temptation.

click to expand

back then was temptation - he cheated. he broke the rules of society of the 1800s.

I also struggle with attraction towards someone I work with... I just try to repress it too lol

Posted by LadyNeptune

Infatuation is fine. Its not as if your gonna act on it, right. Right.

Right, I haven't acted on it.

Its just the emotions themselves, knowing it might be mutual that makes me feel guilty. Although having had a conversation with my Goat since. He thinks, as long as there isn't any actual cheating involved, he rather I never tell him about it.

Posted by Hypnotoad

Posted by sweethearts

Somethings missing in your relationship with the Cap. You’re not excited by him like in the beginning and the Scorp has sparked that.

Yeah he's not a Scorpio. 🤷‍♂️

click to expand

Haha, funny enough I never really found Stinger men attractive in my life.

Perhaps once, a long time ago there was another Stinger but we became more good friends over time than not. Also he turned out to be one to bat for the other team exclusively. So it all worked out fine.

Posted by CoffeeAndCream

I find it funny CAP threw her to him- they love to be cuckhold

Ironically, sexually he hates the fantasy of being a cuckhold 😛

Posted by capincc

You're dating someone and you like someone else?

Committed to my Goat, but infatuated with a Stinger, yes.

I wouldn't say like because that would entail that I know him well enough and am close with him. So far, I haven't broken the relationship code to do that. So just infatuation so far, but going by how this thread is going and all the cold water you all are throwing at me.

I think I'm waking up a bit at a time and thankful for it!

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by LadyNeptune

Infatuation is fine. Its not as if your gonna act on it, right. Right.

I don’t think it is if you’re in a “happy” relationship?

click to expand

My Goat begged to differ, when I brought up the conversation with him. Where as I somewhat agree with you. I think we are going through a weak point in our relationship but I wouldn't go so far to say we are unhappy. Unhappy seems to deem that it is the end. In that case, I think we would've respected each other enough to walk.

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by LadyNeptune

Infatuation is fine. Its not as if your gonna act on it, right. Right.

I don’t think it is if you’re in a “happy” relationship?

Meh idk I go through crushes/infatuation almost on the daily. Your cute, he’s cute, that interior just stole my heart *swoon

Doesn’t mean I want a relationship or that I’m not happy in mine.

click to expand

I agree, but not on a daily basis. For me, it rarely if ever happens.

Its true though, I doubt if I ever really think about it. I wouldn't want a relationship with this Stinger, we would be horrible together. It would make for a very volatile relationship and the opposite of what I want or need.

Posted by WarAngel

Big Trouble in Little China.

Good luck! 🤭

Build a wall?

In the current process of, and avoiding the Stinger as well.

Posted by thatlibralife

OP you sure you’re not trying to get back at him in your own way for his past emotional indiscretion with someone else while you two were together?

No, because I forgave him. If there was one thing I learned from being with my Goat, is that forgiveness goes very far and revenge won't get you anywhere.

Yes, we had our drawn out fights and nearly left each other over it a few times but in the end we both chose to stay and work it through. He really fucked up multiple times, but he also showed me that he has worked on changing himself. I too had to work hard on letting it go, now that some time has passed since his last indiscretion. I don't feel the need for revenge, there is no love in revenge. Might as well walk, if it came to that.

Posted by Undine

I just have to add how retarded the Cap is (not just yours, I'm going through the aftermath of a breakup with one and this is one of those days when I hate his guts).

Confessing infatuation with another woman! Then asking to see LESS of you! Then wanting to control your schedule. Then complaining that he doesn't get enough attention and attraction (?!).

Where did these morons learn about romantic relationships...?!

Dear bloody Goats! We are NOT a complaining office! If you don't like the dynamics any longer, change your arrogant and self-obsessed self FIRST! Be a man (I initially typed be a nan, lol) and lead by example! Nobody wants to commit to a new, fresh and exciting relationship .......with a grumpy grandpa!

OOf. End of rant.

wondering this too like capricorn men seem to sabotage their relationships (not that i don't have shortcomings of my own). i'm still with a cap but i've noticed that even from stories from other women, seems like we always have to exert a lot of effort/work into the relationship much more than the usual in comparison to other sun sign men. i've always imagined that being with one should be easy-sailing but that's not really how it is. mine keeps telling me about all the other women who find him attractive (don't really know what he hopes to accomplish from this). told him it's good that he tells me about it rather than not. but i told him that if anyone else expressed interest in me that i would never tell him coz it means nothing to me.

i'm telling you that i'm absolutely the chaser in this relationship coz he's so insecure (and i get that with his past emotional baggage) so i feel the need to always validate him. but he's so weak when it comes to dealing with my family like i can't be the only source of strength in our relationship. that was a surprising discovery for me in dealing with capricorn. do they just get lazy and complacent then just want the other side to provide all the validation?

the latest source of my hurt is from how he deleted our ONLY couple pic on fb. alright i changed my profile pic first and he did the same but i never deleted it (but HE DID). i noticed this and was so hurt that FOR ONCE i actually wanted to break up with him. then he confessed that coz of our consecutive fights that he deleted that when he was so upset and could no longer envision a future with me.

and i don't wanna sound like a brat but between the 2 of us, he doesn't have much to offer me by way of material things.

so i told him that even as we fought that i never lost sight of our future together.

he changed his profile pic to some choir of angels or whatever, talking about how he wants to focus on god but that he'd always be faithful to me. (maybe i should blame pisces moon? idk). btw this 'holiness' from him was prompted by the fact that one of our fights was about that time i cancelled our date then the next day he cancelled our re-scheduled date. so we both cancelled on each other but i know this sounds so irrational (and make me look nuts) but i was okay that it was cancelled but later on he tells me (amidst bad weather and pandemic scares), that he'd have to drop by the hospital coz his friend's wife had a miscarriage. our relationship seems to hang by a thread every argument, we just cancelled on each other and you have to do that? i just personally thought it was also inappropriate. basically using god on his side to make me out to be some cold-hearted person. i mean i told him i wish her well but that's it's none of his business.

sometimes you have to question yourself why your relationship must resemble a holy war.

instead of him being a source of placating comfort and validation as my partner in this TEAM, he just stonewalls and impulsively says hurtful things.

it takes a lot of patience and work to keep this going but i've never felt more committed to anyone.

i surprised myself.