Anyone try to get prego at 40 ?

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sophie68
@sophie68
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This stubborn Scorp decided to terminate 2 pregnancies in her 20's to focus on career, myself, etc.

Now single (I have a f-buddy I see limited time whom lives 2000 miles away...visits here every few months)

I just turned 40.

Lo and behold, I FORGOT TO HAVE KIDS!

I have everything I need and am in a good place in life, ready to share the love and bond of a child. Not necessarily with a relationship, but my F-buddy (cancer) is more than happy to oblige....when he is here in town that is.

I went for a FSH test which came back "normal" about 6 months ago.

My cycles are all over the place, 24,28,32 days so I cannot pinpoint anything.

Any advise or experiences?
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sophie68
@sophie68
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Thanks girls.
I just had a friend who went through a tough tough IVF process of 2 years and over $ 75k
She JUST found out she is prego last week...thank god. Seeing her go through that was a nightmare.

I have an appt coming up with a fertility specialist but don;t think it's going to happen naturally seeing the statistics.

I have not had a realtionship in over 7 years. It would be nice, just have not met anyone I care to spend time with like that.

Cappy, A.S.? What is that?
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sophie68
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Missmorals, that's how I was up until the past year. Did not really care if it ever happened or not. Mind you I have been married 2x (both about 5 years each, at 21 and then 31) and had NO desire to have children with either one.

Don't know what happened to my darn clock but it did not hit me until I turned 39.

I would not get married again unless the person ends up being a major soul mate, bla bla. My last husband took 50% of my assets (i was the bread winner), which was tough to get over.

Ray-- that is an option. Dad represent a woman who adpoted, its a long long process. So that is an open.

Also, being pregnant before, I miss that feeling and want to experience the "whole experience" once in my life.
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sophie68
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Hi Ray,
Yes, I know why I want them now vs. before. I was not ready emotionally, physically, mentally, financially. I love children, always have. I had to love myself and be happy with life before I could give love to someone else. I took many years to do some "soul searching" about myself...without the involvment and drama of any relationship. Needed to find "me". I also raised my nephew since he was 2 (his parents not in his life, he is now 17 and off to college)...and look to give that same love/wisdom to another child.

It is a very big risk getting preg at this age.

It's a catch 22...adoption is not as easy, interviews (and being a working single parent is a negative in adoption so harder) and then IVF is the same. My GF just went through it for years (she's PG now! yeah).

I am not against adoption at all.

Surrogacy is also risky as the carrier can change her mind.

I am trying to let mother nature take it's course. If it was meant to be, it will.
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sophie68
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Xun3~ I was not ready in any way. My BF was still married at the time. I did not even know what I was going to do for a career at that point. I was fertile Myrtle. First time missed one pill second time was on antibiotics. Was a 5 year relationship but not on stable ground in any way, I was a freaker/psycgo, insecure, unstable Scorpio back then.

Everything happens for a reason. I would not be here today where I am life if I had a child back then. I was not ready NOR responsible in my 20's.

Ashley..that was funny!

I would love to have by Cancer instead of sperm back, very impersonal. The nice thing is that Cancer and his sister and mom are all saying the same. It's been hinted around already quite a few times by them to me.

I guess we will see .
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P-Angel
@P-Angel
20 Years25,000+ PostsPisces

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"the doctors of the past and a few idoits in the present believe its better to have children while young, they couldn't be more wrong"


😢 ... having children is a personal choice, therefore to have them young, old, or any year inbetween is niether smart or idiotic, right or wrong.


How about a neglected child, or abused child?

Those you don't have to be career-wise successful, you don't have to adopt them, they can be awarded to you by the courts ... and they are in dire need to be loved.

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sophie68
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Xun~ You are right. Things happen. But to adopt is like buying a $ 3million house when you make $ 18k/year. Regardless of another country, abused or abondoned, law does not make that simple.

P Angel~A CHOICE. YES. And like I menioned, I made that decision because I was not responsible to raise a child at that point. I could not even take care of MYSELF.

I do want to have a child on my own w/o the drama of relationship. Do I want to go through the trials and tribulations of IVF, adoption, sperm bank etc? Not If I had my druthers. I am not in a relationship, and if it happens to be there is a father involved that is great. I don't need to have a "romantic bf/gf/married " to do so.

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DyarStra?e
@DyarStra?e
18 Years1,000+ PostsVirgo

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You're a sweetheart!

I wish you the best -- you'll be a terrific Mom!

For those of you who weren't on DXP back in the Spring of 2006: I got really freaked-out after Debra & I made love on our first real date. I thought she was trying to hook me with sex. Sophie set me straight. Now, I know that's just Debra - when the mood strikes, she will not be denied (not complaining, at all!)...