Confused by comment made by Scorpio while drinking

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just83
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Posted by cheekyfaerie
So which is it? Do you have to text for business or can you avoid him? You specifically said both. I'm not sure why you want to put yourself in this position, knowing you have a crush on him.
I could avoid doing the business with him if I wanted to. It's not a necessity and I can either have somebody else talk to him or not deal with him, but he's good at what he does. I don't feel that my crush will cross any boundaries because I have a good marriage.

Yes he said it into the Mic, but I'm sure nobody else would know who he was talking about. He mentioned somebody else who was celebrating something and then added that on.

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tcta
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Posted by cheekyfaerie
Posted by tcta
wow - imo that was sort of bad taste for him to say that to the crowd - and why is he assuming that he knows all this about you and your marriage when he shouldn't have been able to get that from your body language - or maybe he has a huge ego
She said maybe her body language *did* give her away. If he has/had any interest in her, he'd know if she has any interest in him. Having access to her social media adds fuel to the fire. I know moons are different than sun, but I notice all sorts of things that would make me a huge creeper if I were to verbalize them.

click to expand

gotcha - and of course the alcohol created the lack of inhibition one would normally have lol - personally I should only drink alone - I have been known to say and do the more terrible sh it when I drink !
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Posted by Aliensusedourbogroll
Why did you choose spend your anniversary night watching a casual friend/aquaintance perform instead of with your husband. I know you invited him and and he chose to say no and stay in but wouldn't you want stay at home with him cos it is your anniversary and you want to spend it with the man you married.
It wasn't the actual day of my anniversary. I posted about it a couple of days earlier when we celebrated it, my Scorpio friend made the comment about somebody recently celebrating an anniversary. It's possible that he was referring to somebody else, but it just sounds too coincidental to me in a crowd of just a few women,maybe (40) there were mostly guys there.
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Posted by Impulsv
He's calling u out he knows The truth you're not acting as a happily married woman and you want him. Lol
Not sure why he would think I'm not happily married.

What would be the point of calling me out though? I feel embarrassed and wondering if he's trying to tell me that I crossed boundaries, but I can't think of anything I have done that would. He's always nice to me when I see him. He has been around both my husband and I a few times.

Yes, he was drinking.
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The beach is a zone of uncertainty
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OP:

1-you created the situation where this could happen.

2-this guy sounds like a loser who probably seduce single old women during his performances and he took out his frustration on this day because he's been wanting to make it with you for a long time but you're just teasing/using him for your own excitement and going back to your husband.

that's my analysis
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Posted by cheekyfaerie
Posted by Impulsv
He's calling u out he knows The truth you're not acting as a happily married woman and you want him. Lol
Yeah, but I don't get why he called her out. To hold a mirror up to her face? Just to see her reaction?
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He's a scorpio, they think they are so much more smarter than everybody else, and that they can shit talk people in public because they think they're above everybody else. When they're just pointing out the obvious most of the time.

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AgentP911
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I think you're over thinking this and looking for something that isn't there. I think the guy was just being a slightly drunk dickhead. Maybe he was poking fun at you or do else else. Possibly the drink or his ego. He may have picked up something with your body language but aside from you admitting you have a little crush on him you have said you've kept distance and not given anything away etc.

Therefore, I'd just forget about that situation.

If you need to call him for business then do it yourself if that's normal. Don't bring it up as you won't get any answers and you'll just make yourself look a tit. If he brings it up just look blankly at him or say you don't remember. Brush it off. If he's after a reaction or wants to provoke then don't give him one. That's the best way to deal with a Scorp. Don't let us win —

I think I've covered all bases now ?
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The beach is a zone of uncertainty
@hydorah
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OP was trying to play the guy like a xylophone, and who can blame her he's a scorpio.

She tweeted her status knowing full well that the guy was following her and that the comment was going to trigger him.

She wanted to be a tease and have the guy's full attention while hubby was home.

She just didn't expect him to burst out in public.



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just83
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Posted by hydorah
OP:

1-you created the situation where this could happen.

2-this guy sounds like a loser who probably seduce single old women during his performances and he took out his frustration on this day because he's been wanting to make it with you for a long time but you're just teasing/using him for your own excitement and going back to your husband.

that's my analysis
Yes, I guess I put myself in that position, but had no idea he was aware of anything have fun with my girlfriend who I had plans with to get drinks and figured why not support him too.

He's not close to anything of being a loser and I doubt that he picks up old women, but that made me laugh.

Posted by AgentP911
I think you're over thinking this and looking for something that isn't there. I think the guy was just being a slightly drunk dickhead. Maybe he was poking fun at you or do else else. Possibly the drink or his ego. He may have picked up something with your body language but aside from you admitting you have a little crush on him you have said you've kept distance and not given anything away etc.

Therefore, I'd just forget about that situation.

If you need to call him for business then do it yourself if that's normal. Don't bring it up as you won't get any answers and you'll just make yourself look a tit. If he brings it up just look blankly at him or say you don't remember. Brush it off. If he's after a reaction or wants to provoke then don't give him one. That's the best way to deal with a Scorp. Don't let us win —

I think I've covered all bases now ?
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I'm guessing the alcohol and maybe his onstage persona took over. However with the comment it makes me wonder if he was using it to push me away as a friend and client. But then if that was the case I would think he wouldn't want to come over and hug me. He has been nothing but respectful to me in the past. We have had a lot of conversations over the last 5 years and nothing has ever been awkward.

I'm going to pretend I didn't hear what he said.
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just83
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Posted by hydorah
OP was trying to play the guy like a xylophone, and who can blame her he's a scorpio.

She tweeted her status knowing full well that the guy was following her and that the comment was going to trigger him.

She wanted to be a tease and have the guy's full attention while hubby was home.

She just didn't expect him to burst out in public.



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What status? All I did was post a photo of my husband and I celebrating our anniversary. I wasn't posting it taunt him. He's hung out with both of us before socially, he knows my whole family.
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DMV
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Posted by tcta
wow - imo that was sort of bad taste for him to say that to the crowd - and why is he assuming that he knows all this about you and your marriage when he shouldn't have been able to get that from your body language - or maybe he has a huge ego
I used to mess around with this scorp guy. Things went sour and he was a dj. Whenever he had a few drinks and would get on the mic, i would leave the party. He got off on embarrassing me.

OP avoid at all costs.
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just83
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No not to push u away as Freind n clown not even as bad judgement but a " wake up" n start living real! Ur celebrating anavesary but u are here to see me.





Thank You. That could be it. I should've explained to him that I invited my husband, but my husband wanted me to just have a girls night out and he had to go pick up our son and my husband and I did go out for Happy Hour Earlier, but then he's kind of a home body.

If he had read my anniversary post he should've known we celebrated that day and I hope he didn't think I left my husband at home to go pick up guys. Before he said that two guys were talking to my friend and I at the bar just while they were waiting for their drinks. Not like they were flirting with us or anything, but they were asking us if we had seen the band before.
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just83
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Posted by Impulsv
Op How would it make u feel if I said its cuz he's into you?

Analyze that
I would kind of feel awful because nothing is going to happen between us. I know I do have the crush so it may sound flattering, but in reality I wouldn't want him to be hurt. I really do want him to like me as a person and friend though. Not sure if that makes sense. I have always had respect for him and I kind of hope he has the same respect for me and values our friendship.
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Posted by DMV
Posted by tcta
wow - imo that was sort of bad taste for him to say that to the crowd - and why is he assuming that he knows all this about you and your marriage when he shouldn't have been able to get that from your body language - or maybe he has a huge ego
I used to mess around with this scorp guy. Things went sour and he was a dj. Whenever he had a few drinks and would get on the mic, i would leave the party. He got off on embarrassing me.

OP avoid at all costs.
click to expand

My best friend is a Scorpio and after a certain point I can't be around her after she drinks because she holds nothing back at all.

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LadyNeptune
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Posted by just83
Posted by Impulsv
He's calling u out he knows The truth you're not acting as a happily married woman and you want him. Lol
Not sure why he would think I'm not happily married.

What would be the point of calling me out though? I feel embarrassed and wondering if he's trying to tell me that I crossed boundaries, but I can't think of anything I have done that would. He's always nice to me when I see him. He has been around both my husband and I a few times.

Yes, he was drinking.
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It's not about calling you out or making you feel guilty. He was gauging your interest in him by making a joke.

The fact that your all bent out of shape over something so silly says more about you then him. Your feeling guilty over pursuing a friendship with a man your crushing on.
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DMV
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Posted by just83
Posted by DMV
Posted by tcta
wow - imo that was sort of bad taste for him to say that to the crowd - and why is he assuming that he knows all this about you and your marriage when he shouldn't have been able to get that from your body language - or maybe he has a huge ego
I used to mess around with this scorp guy. Things went sour and he was a dj. Whenever he had a few drinks and would get on the mic, i would leave the party. He got off on embarrassing me.

OP avoid at all costs.
My best friend is a Scorpio and after a certain point I can't be around her after she drinks because she holds nothing back at all.

click to expand

Give him no reaction. Treat him like he doesnt even exist
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Posted by clippityclop
He probably just wanted something exciting to say and it was the only thing he could think of at the top of his head—
Yes you're probably right. He does that actually when he's sober too, but not extreme like that and his comments usually just make me laugh or roll my eyes. He can be kind of goofy, but one of the things I like about him.

I guess I just needed somebody else's opinion because honestly I am afraid to contact him thinking he said that to push me away. I give him plenty of space though and only contact him when I need something, social media I only like or comment on anything once in a blue moon. He doesn't really interact much there with anyone.
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Posted by just83
Posted by clippityclop
He probably just wanted something exciting to say and it was the only thing he could think of at the top of his head—
Yes you're probably right. He does that actually when he's sober too, but not extreme like that and his comments usually just make me laugh or roll my eyes. He can be kind of goofy, but one of the things I like about him.

I guess I just needed somebody else's opinion because honestly I am afraid to contact him thinking he said that to push me away. I give him plenty of space though and only contact him when I need something, social media I only like or comment on anything once in a blue moon. He doesn't really interact much there with anyone.
click to expand


Don't worry about it. He's a performer.. he probably meant nothing by it. It just got to you because to you it actually means a lot more than he probably realises. He probably has no idea that he made you this uncomfortable
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just83
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Posted by LadyNeptune
Posted by just83
Posted by Impulsv
He's calling u out he knows The truth you're not acting as a happily married woman and you want him. Lol
Not sure why he would think I'm not happily married.

What would be the point of calling me out though? I feel embarrassed and wondering if he's trying to tell me that I crossed boundaries, but I can't think of anything I have done that would. He's always nice to me when I see him. He has been around both my husband and I a few times.

Yes, he was drinking.
It's not about calling you out or making you feel guilty. He was gauging your interest in him by making a joke.

The fact that your all bent out of shape over something so silly says more about you then him. Your feeling guilty over pursuing a friendship with a man your crushing on.
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Yes, you are right I have had my moments of guilt over it and am probably going to limit my contact with him unless my husband is around also. I am never alone with him so that is not a problem and I trust myself, but still better to be safe than sorry.
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just83
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Posted by clippityclop
Posted by just83
Posted by clippityclop
He probably just wanted something exciting to say and it was the only thing he could think of at the top of his head—
Yes you're probably right. He does that actually when he's sober too, but not extreme like that and his comments usually just make me laugh or roll my eyes. He can be kind of goofy, but one of the things I like about him.

I guess I just needed somebody else's opinion because honestly I am afraid to contact him thinking he said that to push me away. I give him plenty of space though and only contact him when I need something, social media I only like or comment on anything once in a blue moon. He doesn't really interact much there with anyone.

Don't worry about it. He's a performer.. he probably meant nothing by it. It just got to you because to you it actually means a lot more than he probably realises. He probably has no idea that he made you this uncomfortable


Thanks. I hope that's the case.

Posted by EnochtheWise
Posted by cheekyfaerie
So which is it? Do you have to text for business or can you avoid him? You specifically said both. I'm not sure why you want to put yourself in this position, knowing you have a crush on him.
Really? You aren't sure?
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Who me not sure if I have to contact him? It's his business ,I can either go to somebody else or not do the project. It's not a necessity.
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Posted by Arielle83
If he was a comedian, id let it slide and tell him "oh you think you're sooooo fucking funny eh?"

Unless he uses stand up between songs to rile crowd up.

Maybe you're bothered because there was some truth to what he said since you are crushing.

Would you sleep with him?
Not if I want to stay married..lol.

His act is a little comedic and probably meant to be a little shocking and yes some truth, but I had no idea he was aware of anything.

In our normal interaction he is not rude at all or egotistical. He is confident, but seems very humble. He's always considerate of my time, etc. The crush stemmed from when I was having problems with a terminally ill family member. I was upset once and maybe rude to him so I sent him a message to apologize and tell him what was going on. This was over 3 years ago. He ended up calling me and he was so nice and offered a shoulder to cry on. I wasn't even attracted to him really, but then I became curious and googled him and found some articles he wrote that piqued my interest a little more. I started seeing him in a different light. I saw some comments from a couple of other girls saying he was "hot" which I laughed at initially, but then I started thinking so too.

before that he kind of used to bug me because he would ask too many questions and I felt like he was in my hair with calling and texting, but I figured he was just doing it for business. He does t do that anymore that was when I first met him. I think he's had a girlfriend or two since then, but he doesn't talk about his dating life with me so I really have no idea.
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Posted by just83
Posted by Arielle83
If he was a comedian, id let it slide and tell him "oh you think you're sooooo fucking funny eh?"

Unless he uses stand up between songs to rile crowd up.

Maybe you're bothered because there was some truth to what he said since you are crushing.

Would you sleep with him?
Not if I want to stay married..lol.

His act is a little comedic and probably meant to be a little shocking and yes some truth, but I had no idea he was aware of anything.

In our normal interaction he is not rude at all or egotistical. He is confident, but seems very humble. He's always considerate of my time, etc. The crush stemmed from when I was having problems with a terminally ill family member. I was upset once and maybe rude to him so I sent him a message to apologize and tell him what was going on. This was over 3 years ago. He ended up calling me and he was so nice and offered a shoulder to cry on. I wasn't even attracted to him really, but then I became curious and googled him and found some articles he wrote that piqued my interest a little more. I started seeing him in a different light. I saw some comments from a couple of other girls saying he was "hot" which I laughed at initially, but then I started thinking so too.

before that he kind of used to bug me because he would ask too many questions and I felt like he was in my hair with calling and texting, but I figured he was just doing it for business. He does t do that anymore that was when I first met him. I think he's had a girlfriend or two since then, but he doesn't talk about his dating life with me so I really have no idea.

click to expand

So your attracted to him. Question is are you going to act on that attraction?

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just83
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Posted by Arielle83
Ya but you can think of having sex with him in your head.

Scorpios seem in tuned with sexual energy so maybe he's feeling you out.

You are also acting interested in your own time via social media which is dangerous.





I have in the past, well if he felt my energy then that could be how he knows, although when I'm around him I don't really feel that way, just get along with him really well and we laugh, sex is not on my mind. When he leaves then I kind of miss him and he pops into my head now and then.

For social media with acting interested do you mean me just looking at his stuff in my spare time or posting stuff to make him think I am interested? I don't really do the latter and the looking him up in the past was a few years ago when I was curious about him. I can recognize though just having him there and seeing his stuff adds more fuel to the fire.

Posted by GC01
Ewwww do not let him make a joke out of you and your marriage, I wouldn't associate with him for a while. He obviously got a rise out of making you uncomfortable. From one cancer woman to another I can understand how detrimental being around somone negative like this can be and the discomfort it can cause, thus making us overanalyze.
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yes exactly, kind of bummed out that he said that and called me out because he knows us both, even though there was some truth to it, it is not something I verbally shared with him or hinted at. Thankfully nobody else there knew who he was talking about and he didn't point at me or anything so I am just trying to take it as he's used the thought and tried to exaggerate to make his character look like a vulgar jerk, maybe that's what he is going for. I'm normally a little quiet and shy so just surprised that he would pick on me like that, not that it would make a difference if I was loud and obnoxious, but he probably knows I won't say anything back.
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just83
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Posted by leowww
I would question someone's friendship after that. He knows you like him, sometimes we can tell. Maybe you're not being as discreet as you think. Spending your anniversary at a bar without your husband is odd tbh. If I were you, I'd distance myself from that guy and focus on what matters. If you can get by without having to contact him, do so. That was rude but maybe that's the wake up call you needed.
Yes he probably picked up on stuff just because I know I do being around somebody. It wasn't my anniversary day, that was a few days before. I had just posted the photo though, but even that wasn't the day of the show. In the 4 years I've known about this band I've only seen them twice. I've stayed away because I thought it would be weird for me to keep going back and getting to see him any chance I could so I skip the opportunities.

Wanting to confront him or ask him is deriving me crazy, but I know it's probably best to let it go and take the hide road like it didn't phase me.
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just83
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The Man/Woman friendship thing is I guess an individual choice or couple choice. My husband is okay with me having casual male friends, I have known a woman who left her husband for another woman so although not as common you just have to be guarded no matter what.

I perhaps did get too attached to him by sharing my emotions, he's just one of those people that are easy to talk to like you've known them for years and I feel like we can practically finish each others sentences. I did so not realizing I would feel a connection with him that would turn into stronger feelings. Better to try to have those conversations with your significant other even if you feel like you are not getting the emotional support like you feel with the other person.
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catonacloud
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As a scorpio myself...

I don't think he said that because he likes you. I mean he felt a little sorry or found it a little odd and funny maybe that you weren't having a celebration with your husband but came to see his show.

Thats it. He just thought it was a little odd and decided to make a slightly inappropriate adult joke out of it or whatever.

If he secretly liked you etc, he wouldn't have made that kind of joke.
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just83
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Posted by catonacloud
As a scorpio myself...

I don't think he said that because he likes you. I mean he felt a little sorry or found it a little odd and funny maybe that you weren't having a celebration with your husband but came to see his show.

Thats it. He just thought it was a little odd and decided to make a slightly inappropriate adult joke out of it or whatever.

If he secretly liked you etc, he wouldn't have made that kind of joke.
Thanks for the insight. Strong possibility that could be just it.

He should've known that I did celebrate with my husband on the actual anniversary date, but maybe he just figured it was good material and i shouldn't take it personal. However by him making a comment like that I hope he at least liked me as a person and wasn't just pretending to be my friend 😢
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catonacloud
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Thanks for the insight. Strong possibility that could be just it.

He should've known that I did celebrate with my husband on the actual anniversary date, but maybe he just figured it was good material and i shouldn't take it personal. However by him making a comment like that I hope he at least liked me as a person and wasn't just pretending to be my friend 😢



It's a bit rude of him but scorpios sometimes make the most inappropriate jokes unfortunately..

I'm sure he likes you as a friend. We can't read see inside his head so can't know for sure what he is thinking, but you don't have to think too much about it. Instead talk to him and just enjoy the friendship, don't feel ashamed of being close friends with a guy, not even for having naughty thoughts every once in a while.. we all do its natural. Just be honest with yourself and those around you and everything should be fine 😉
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GeminiGuy76
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Posted by just83
Posted by cheekyfaerie
So which is it? Do you have to text for business or can you avoid him? You specifically said both. I'm not sure why you want to put yourself in this position, knowing you have a crush on him.
I could avoid doing the business with him if I wanted to. It's not a necessity and I can either have somebody else talk to him or not deal with him, but he's good at what he does. I don't feel that my crush will cross any boundaries because I have a good marriage.

Yes he said it into the Mic, but I'm sure nobody else would know who he was talking about. He mentioned somebody else who was celebrating something and then added that on.

click to expand

"I don't feel that my crush will cross any boundaries because I have a good marriage." IMHO, this is some very dangerous territory that you are choosing to tred on.

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just83
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ckquote> Posted by catonacloud


It's a bit rude of him but scorpios sometimes make the most inappropriate jokes unfortunately..

I'm sure he likes you as a friend. We can't read see inside his head so can't know for sure what he is thinking, but you don't have to think too much about it. Instead talk to him and just enjoy the friendship, don't feel ashamed of being close friends with a guy, not even for having naughty thoughts every once in a while.. we all do its natural. Just be honest with yourself and those around you and everything should be fine 😉


Thank You. I'm just going to write it off as it being the alcohol and blow off the joke. My biggest worry was that he was trying to push me away as a friend because he felt that I was a threat to my own marriage. However It's not like I did anything wrong.



Posted by GeminiGuy76
"I don't feel that my crush will cross any boundaries because I have a good marriage." IMHO, this is some very dangerous territory that you are choosing to tred on.

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I know it can be, this little incident has been a wake up call and I don't think I'll be crushing on him like I had been in the past. I'll probably give it a little more time before I contact him again, my entire family likes him and I don't want to mess that up.
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just83
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Posted by leowww


You're gonna contact him?

Why?

If he doesn't contact you after that " joke" doesn't that speak to you?

Also friendship is a two way street.. You won't mess anything up if he's not making efforts to be your friend either.

I'd leave it alone, the fact that you have a crush on him and that he's so close to your family sounds very messy to me and potential for drama.






It's a good point, but I hate to throw away 5 years of a good business relationship over one incident, especially if he said it without giving it much thought. If I get another strange vibe from him I will reconsider. He had contacted me twice before the incident and both times I told him we couldn't do it so it could just be he doesn't want me to tell him "no" a 3rd time. I didn't really want to go into details about what it is because it's so specific. The best I could describe is he helps mentor my son with his education. I could find somebody else, but my son and he have a good relationship and I thought he and I were good with each other too. He worked with my older child before and that's why so many years; there was a break in between, but in the off time I did see him perform a couple of times (with another band that he's more serious in ) and then the social media stuff.

My son is actually old enough maybe to deal with him directly. I can just do that to limit my contact so the crush doesn't resurface.