fellow scorps how do you handle those who come back

hello, hello.

i've missed my dxp friends.

so it's official that uranus is now in my 7th house opposing my ascendant, venus and jupiter. and i can definitely feel it. it makes all relationships feel like i want to pull my hair out as i'm pulled in all different directions.

to make it even more of a plot twist, two guys i really felt connected to in the past...have decided to surface. one a taurus, the other an aquarius.

the taurus and i have been able to maintain friendship throughout the years. the aquarius doesn't seem to be capable of friendship though he tries. but he just couldn't commit either. he doesn't get it. and it appears he has a new female friend that i think would be good for him. (i watch silently from a distance). he has REALLY improved himself. i respond to both of them because they were very significant people in my life. the aquarius loves to tell me what he's accomplished, how he's improved, etc. and i'm SO PROUD OF HIM! he's very good-hearted, but he's also emotionally inept lol. i feel like my uranus transiting the 7th house w all those oppositions are like a daily struggle for him plus some.

i'm curious about your experiences and if you have people who hang onto you for years...how you handle it...if you can maintain friendship, etc.

I love maintaining friendship with past loves. unless they did me completely wrong, i will accept them into my life. it hurts very much when i have a breakup and the other person says they can't be friends; however, i understand their POV because i have felt similarly about certain people. even the aquarius here... i work hard to maintain friendship, but he loves to try to cross the line. it's like one of those loves you really wish could have worked out but in the end, you know it never will. i think we've all been there.

i just find it very strange that two of my past significant loves found a way to pop back in. it's like they are all on the same clock.

Posted by tooba
I've tried the whole friendship thing after a breakup...even allowed half a year's time, and some more, to pass before trying to be just friends again... It never ends well, so I keep far away from it.

for me it just depends on the person!

my virgo ex w a scorpio moon & leo rising... i tried. it was odious. completely catastrophic. he was literally a demon from the depths of hell. he brought out the same characteristics in me. it was probably the unhealthiest choice of a friend. obviously since then i had to cut the tie. it was way too toxic of a relationship to even continue trying to make a friendship work.

even the sad attempt i did make, i tried undermining him and he tried undermining me. we both brought out vengeful sides of each other. since then, i've tried to grow and be the opposite of that person that i was then. i guess at least i learned something from him ?

but avoiding exes at all costs is a good option too (and safer). typically it's the ones i was friends with at first that i'm best at keeping in my life afterwards.

Posted by Ellygant
With only 2 exceptions so far, I've had every ex/former love/even first dates come back around at some point. They normally all do so within a similar time frame as well lol.

If they were rude or immature or things ended badly I just ignore them. Most I respond to however. Chat for a little over text. Keep it friendly but not too interested. A few have asked to meet up. I only did so with the two I had been in love with.

One it wasn't bad, but left me feeling bitter and dark and reminded me how awful we were together. The other is my long term ex Scorp, and we've met a few times over the years since our break up. We still keep in touch. For quite a long while I pinned for him and he didn't want to reconcile. Now as I am fully over him, he alludes often wanting to reconcile.

I'd say with the exception of my long term ex, most pop up when they are re-evaluating their love lives, why they struggle dating or during a slump/after s break up. (Even the long ex I noticed has disappeared for a few months then returned with force, so I think he's done similar.) I think most people circle back to old flames when trying to make sense of their lives. If they ever ask questions I'm happy to answer. Most don't though. Think it's passing nostalgia that is broken when we speak and they too see we weren't right for each other.

i love that end concept you have with nostalgia... it all makes sense. i've been curious as to what goes on in their minds.

and with uranus transiting my 7th and in opposition w my venus and ascendant...i feel like i'm being turned upside down. especially since they all come out at once.

i could definitely see that though... to me, when i read your response it was kind of like the veil was lifted from my eyes. especially on the aquarius.

i really REALLY loved him. and i still do. sigh, my curse of never-ending love strikes again. but i do my typical social media site lurking, and it appears he has a great viable option for a new love interest who he's friends with! it clicks with everything you're saying. it's like he's wondering what went wrong with me. the most ironic part is she's born the exact opposite day of me (a taurus). so i'm sure we're quite opposite in many ways. but they go to events, and they do fun things together...not that we didn't, but he had a way of being very standoffish with me. he couldn't open up to me even though we started off as friends. i always had this vibe that he thought he had to "prove" himself to me or show that he wasn't weak. it was always like he had something to prove. or if he wasn't trying to prove something, he was misinterpreting something i said or did and lashing out at me as if i had just offended his entire being. i worked so hard at being understood that eventually i was frustrated enough to leave him alone completely and find new love interests. we were never official even though he'd introduce me as his girlfriend at times. all in all it was a strange ordeal. and even now, he tells me what he's accomplished and what he's done...as if we are in competition or as if i never accepted him to begin with. we had a lot of karmic aspects.

we haven't seen each other since 2015.... but here he is now, still reaching out. i was very giving to him. a lot of me is on edge just simply because i feel like he's trying to get something out (or from) me again. so similar to you, i try to keep my responses cordial but cold enough to where he knows we can't pursue anything. id really like it if he'd accept it and move forward with this new girl. she seems quite pleasant and someone who has very similar interests to him.

I usually try to be friendly but then fade them out.

however, if they want a second chance, it never ends well.

that's rough especially when the split was due to circumstances.... once you guys fall out of love its like you refuse to fall back in. why aren't you willing to try even when it seems there is still a spark there?

Is it because the pain of losing them the first time, you don't want to experience that feeling again?