heart broken :( need help

Ok here goes my story, i am a Libra women, I dislike work relationship and i avoid such a relation even i rejected many, anyway i saw that amazing hot looking guy i look at his eyes nd ignore that he is hot, time goes by that guy start chasing me whenever i go eye contact and everything until he grab my attention we talked he gave me his number. the same day was our last day in work it was our holiday so he called me everyday spent time with me. this guy is Scorpio, on the fist date he told me that he smoke weed it was okay with me i don't like to change him or control him from the beginning he told me that he doesn't like to take care or spoiled the girl i was fine i stick with him. we spend wonderful time, i was struggle at the beginning but he worth it he told me that he doesn't like to make phone calls so i respect it i stop calling him stop texting him if he needs me he can reach me i did everything that he want i wanted to understand his personality. i even didn't asked him if we can go out or something i gave him the lead. for me as a person i have a very strong personality but for him i was okay with the idea of him leading me as long as i know that i will not do anything that i hate. sometimes he go crazy and telling me that i push on him and i know that i don't he was the one who push very hard. he start to open up he told me about his past even he quiet smoking weed because of me i didn't tell him to stop but he choose it. he start to talk about his problem as i made him feel good when he talk i was a good listener and i advice him whenever he asked me to he likes to take my opinion in everything when he dine out he will call me up or send me a photo of his order saying wish you were her. he even take my opinion when he choose his clothes we were very close and we have the perfect relation and very mature. even he didn't call me very much but i cam up with peace with him i felt love with out talking with out spend hours in the phone or texting, last Monday he was in a bad mood and i asked him how are you? "he said i feel board and know im with my cousin and i want to go home and sleep i told hiim then tell him so after like 2 hrs i asked him wat happen did you tell him then he go crazy saying that he will do what ever he wants dont tell me wat to do, then he broke up with a txt msg telling me that i took a good care of him and he cant handle it nobody took care of me before and this is new to me ur super great women but i

i will continue, but i cant be with u. i was choked as i gave him everything at work he tried to hide him self i txt him asked him for explanation and i deserve it taking care of him is not a reason and i now that he loves me any way after 3 days i saw him at work and i ignored him he tried to take my attention the next day i called him for many times finally he answer and it was the rudest way ever he picked up the phone yell at me wat do u want i told him give me reason why its like he prepared what he want to say he told me don't feel comfortable with u waaaat are you kidding i told him when you start feel that way he said only recently ha?? i told him know that u have pressure at work and stopped me he said its my business i don't need you i told him we were perfect he said i know but i cant be with you he yelled again and asked me to not txt or call :/ i love him still and this is wasn't him i don't know why he push me away the one thing that came up to my mined that he is afraid of committed as im his first serious relation we spend 2 wonderful months.
can anyone help me if you face such issue and why do u think he act that y

I tried to read all of this....but I just can't. I can tell english is not your first language, but you have GOT to use paragraphs and punctutation. One long sentence is insufferable.

All I can really say is sounds like you have no boundaries, you gave, he took and you over extended yourself to a man. LEARN TO RESPECT YOURSELF....so others will too.

I know you hurt, the best thing you can do right now is give him some time. Based on what you've written, it seems he has something conflicting him. As hard as it is, have faith but keep up with your daily life. Leave him alone for a bit, let him sort out or figure out what it is. Any added or undo pressure from you may sever your relationship with him, or damage it. Right now he says he does want to be with you, he just can't. Take that as some good feeling. I would hate to see things get worse because youre asking him to explain, and he cant right at the moment.

I tried to read all of this....but I just can't. I can tell english is not your first language, but you have GOT to use paragraphs and punctutation. One long sentence is insufferable.


First of all, it doesnt matter if English is my first language or not. is it ur?? coz u misspell PUNCTUTATION its "punctuation" dear. Second i'v been a lot of things and ur replay was very rude. Am respecting my self as a women. i am sorry for that i thought that site will help ppl but wat u did is way far from helping anyway good luck

Posted by OceanDeep
I know you hurt, the best thing you can do right now is give him some time. Based on what you've written, it seems he has something conflicting him. As hard as it is, have faith but keep up with your daily life. Leave him alone for a bit, let him sort out or figure out what it is. Any added or undo pressure from you may sever your relationship with him, or damage it. Right now he says he does want to be with you, he just can't. Take that as some good feeling. I would hate to see things get worse because youre asking him to explain, and he cant right at the moment.

thank you very much for ur supporting

Posted by emma7411

I tried to read all of this....but I just can't. I can tell english is not your first language, but you have GOT to use paragraphs and punctutation. One long sentence is insufferable.


First of all, it doesnt matter if English is my first language or not. is it ur?? coz u misspell PUNCTUTATION its "punctuation" dear. Second i'v been a lot of things and ur replay was very rude. Am respecting my self as a women. i am sorry for that i thought that site will help ppl but wat u did is way far from helping anyway good luck

Misspell - it's mispelled....dear
i'v - I've mispelled....dear
my self - myself mispelled..dear
women - woman mispelled...dear

ppl - people mispelled....dear


Have a nice day....dear 🙂

A person tells you they cannot understand what you wrote, and asked you to make it clearer and you snap their fucking head off?

Feeling like a bit of an asshole, are you?

Perhaps this biting of heads off, while asking for help is something you need to look at.



I understand what you are saying, even with your poor english .... and it's clear to me that you have zero self respect. Of course, all non-American women seem that way to me when they lower their standards for men .. which is most of the time. I see nothing different here.

He snaps his fingers .. you jump to serve him, while forsaking yourself = this appears to be the case for all women who aren't American.

The part below stood out ... and marks where you describe yourself as being a player. You say you are self respecting, or whatever it is you stated .. when in reality, you're just like him.

Posted by emma7411

... at work he tried to hide him self
... i txt him asked him for explanation and i deserve it taking care of him is not a reason and i now that he loves me
... i saw him at work and i ignored him
... he tried to take my attention
... the next day i called him for many times finally he answer and it was the rudest way ever he picked up the phone yell at me wat do u want

I had to break it down because all of that was one big run-on sentence.

Anyway, from what you wrote, it's obvious that you participate in the bullshit you are calling him on ... because you tell him that you deserve an explanation and then ignore him when he tries to get your attention, to thenn turn around and text him many times, to then bitch because he's rude to you.


Seriously .... you can't expect a man to have respect for you when you bend over and grab your ankles at his every whim ... but, not being a woman of equality (being inferiour to men), that concept will likely fly over your head.


::: shrugs :::

Perhaps that was a bit unfair ... I've seen women, in general, lower themselves to be below the man they have, to then complain about the bed they made for themselves as a result

Very adept, P-Angel. Geesh, I give you the *high tolerance* award to go through and decipher that paragraph. I saw the subserviant, lack of self respect from the get go, but sadly, she porbably won't.

That's what happens when some people ask for enlightenment, they really want to stay in the dark, while HE gets enlightened.

Posted by ellessque
i love how people think they are entitled to an opinion just because they wrote some stuff.

FFS.....

I love it when you FFS..I say it all the time myself. 🙂

Yes, it was unfair to generalise all non-Americans as being doormats to men. Lack of self respect has nothing to do with country of birth. Yes, in most underdeveloped countries women are oppressed by men, but it has nothing to do with self respect- its a cultural thing. I'm not American, but i have a good deal of self respect. U being Americans are fortunate bcoz all is equal, in Africa women are expected to know their place & keep it shut or get beaten. That is not lack of self respect, but abuse with an aim to dehumanize women.

How fantastic that you've justified it for her ... now she can sink lower, to actually be laying on the floor for him to walk on.

Ordinarily, so long as visa's and/or passports are in order .. the US will allow people to move to the country. But, of course, if that happens for the sake of finding pride, then the result will have to be having some self respect ... and heaven forbide that a woman do that when she has a justifiable excuse in being a rug

It's not the man who abuses the woman .. it's the woman who abuses herself by believing that is her place, and then assigns a man the permission to perform it.


In this case, abuse isn't present .... only a lack of self respect.

Posted by P-Angel
It's not the man who abuses the woman .. it's the woman who abuses herself by believing that is her place, and then assigns a man the permission to perform it.


In this case, abuse isn't present .... only a lack of self respect.

I would agree to this to a certain extent. Obviously it doesn't apply to women from countries like India or Iraq, but if we're talking about a women in a relationship in America then she is the one allowing the abuse to occur. She can leave the relationship at any time. Yes I'm aware of Stockholm syndrome, but if she had self-respect for herself she wouldn't end up in the situation in the first place

Im not staying in America & i still stand by the fact that, u dont have to live cross-atlantic to have self respect, thats just ridiculous. Your judgemental views about non-American women is disgusting. U didnt meet every non-American woman in the world. All i have to say about this is: if ur born in a cage, u'll never know how it feels like to be free & if ur born free, u'll never be able to understand how it feels like to be born in a cage.

Posted by WaterCup
Im not staying in America & i still stand by the fact that, u dont have to live cross-atlantic to have self respect, thats just ridiculous. Your judgemental views about non-American women is disgusting. U didnt meet every non-American woman in the world. All i have to say about this is: if ur born in a cage, u'll never know how it feels like to be free & if ur born free, u'll never be able to understand how it feels like to be born in a cage.

duh

No duh to u kitsune

Posted by WaterCup
No duh to u kitsune

😛

Some women are not subservient by choice, but by what they grew up seeing- they dont know any better. Here in South Africa & i think in other african countries as well (including muslim countries), there's a tradition of forced marriages & the police dont even intervene in such cases. What are those women expected to do if not even the law is not on their side? To follow the rules of men, thats the answer, but things are starting to change & women in my country now know that there's other ways of living other what the older generation was teaching them.

Its like a form of brain washing, thankfully many NGO's are now teaching women (especially those from rural areas) that as women we have a right to make our own choice without depending/looking up to men for approval. Thanks God that not everybody in the world judges ppl who are in the dark about these things.

For an example, in other countries women have their noses cut or thrown with acid in the face if found being unfaithful to her husband. But, nothing is done to the husband if found cheating- double standards to the max. How can women living in such an enviroment be expected to have self respect etc?

Here in south africa, in a province called KwaZulu-Natal young women are forced to undergo public virginity testing (sum go willingly bcoz it was installed in them at a young age), in Swaziland young women are forced to parade half naked infront of an old perverted Swazi king- he chooses a wife each year this way (again sum go willingly) & last but not least, Masai women in Kenya are forced to remove their bottom teeth if they want to be married. And in many african countries women are to have their labias mutilated bcoz men believe that labias get in the way during intercourse. These axamples are to show why so many non-American women seem lacking in self pride.

get off your soap box and stop deraling the thread. thank you.

Im not living in a soap box, im just explaining the reasons why ppl who are not americans behave the way they do. As a non-American i think i have a right to defend that. And who are u to tell me what to do & what not to do? This is a public platform in case u haven't noticed. To the OP, sorry for derailing your thread.

Emma, if you do decide to come back let alone read this just know that it is fairly consistent of Scorpio men to do this. The pull away, and at times call it quits. You never know for sure if it is just for a temporary break, or if it will be the real deal and it's over. Thats why I cannot stress enough to continue to do your own thing, and try as hard to not let it get you down or run things over and over in your head. It leaves someone very confused and hurt, but the more you try to figure things out can become wearing on you. Although certainly hard not to! lol

Scorpio's are fixed signs, meaning once they are set on something they are set. Nothing or no one will change their mind unless THEY want to change it. It doesnt always come out favorable for the other party, BUT if he has enough feelings for you that is certainly a point for you.

The one thing I do sense is that possibly he was making changes for you, not that you asked him to do these things, but that at the time he wanted to make those changes, i.e. quit smoking weed. I wonder if in a sense he was feeling like he was losing himself in the process, who he was ... like even though those were changes HE chose to make, all of a sudden nothing about him seemed the same after you two became involved. So in a sense he's taking a stance, but it ends up being against you. Or too sometimes if people pressure someone enough, like maybe his friends or family...if they are seeing these changes, and they don't like them for whatever reason and tell him he's changing too much, it may start in on his psyche that somehow youre trying to change him, when in all reality you wanted to accept him for who he is.

I havent read anything where I can see huge red flags that you were giving too much of yourself. You two were seeing each other for two months, although not a lot of time, it certainly was enough time that generally yes, people do start to trust and feel comfortable enough to maybe start giving of themselves more. Just whatever you do, dont make sacrifices that go against what you believe in. I'm glad he quit smoking pot, but if it isnt something you want in your partner you were taking a risk that he may not have quit, and to bring it up later as something he needed to change when in the beginning you said or appeared to be okay with it, in all actuality is not fair to him, regardless of your feelings over it.

I agree with P angel and biggirlpanties. This woman needs to start respecting herself n treat herself better if she expects a man to do it.
With that said, water cup is right. she isn't on any virtual soapbox trying to kick up her debate a notch by quoting lives of women everywhere. she is absolutely right and that is what is really going on. PLEASE wake up to reality. america isn't the only country in the world. i live in asia and i know for a fact that we do not enjoy all the privileges that american women do. that doesn't mean we are doormats and let men walk all over us. we respect our culture and follow it. we do not call it quits with someone without giving our best efforts into it. our culture dictates that..and we abide by it. call it whatever you may.. but it is a way of life for us. IF at all it transgresses boundaries..we know how to give it back and keep our dignity intact in the process.

And to the OP, scorpio men CLEARLY will do as they like. I've seen some interesting scorpions who have made me blush by their charm but remember, that they will prioritize their feelings above anything. It may be good thing for some, but in your case it's clearly something you don't need. And it's not too late to step back. What you need is a good dose of introspection time..to fix issues within yourself before you turn to any man.

And what were those insinuations? The things i said were not said with negativity in mind, i actually admire the american way of life, but i dont envy it. Its a great country becoz u have real freedom (not in name only). I have no resentments whatsoever. Many countries including my own shed blood to gain their freedom too, but i admire american freedom for its realness. Many so called free countries, aren't really free. I dont get what pisses u off about that.

South Africa, just got its freedom in 1994 with a trail of blood behind it, i wouldn't be so ignorant as to be resentful of countries who went through the same thing. Your country is a strong nation, we had similar struggles, now why would i be envious of that?

Nobody cares if you are sickened .... in Scorpio fashion, you will believe people should be.



I will state the fact again to those who are taking pride in themselves for being second-rate to men and saying they have no choice.


Our borders are open. We accept newcomers, so long as your papers are in order.


If a woman stays and makes the excuse that it's her position due to tradition, and in so doing she belittles her own self by not possessing self respect ... then she's a douchebag, and we don't want her on our soil anyway, to poison our men.


In America .. we are equal, all of us. And though you may find a woman being stupid with her emotions when she's fallen, NEVER will she EVER believe it's because a man is better than her, or more entitled.

Posted by emma7411

.... at work he tried to hide him self i txt him asked him for explanation and i deserve it taking care of him is not a reason and i now that he loves me any way after 3 days i saw him at work and i ignored him he tried to take my attention the next day i called him for many times finally he answer and it was the rudest way ever he picked up the phone yell at me .....

Again, once this massive run-on sentence is broken down, it becomes apparent that she chases him incessantly, only to ignore him once he bites. Of course he plays the same game.


point is .. she plays the game with him .. she's NOT a victim of circumstance as she portrays herself to be

Oh to hell with u, im done with this thread. I said nothing bad about your country or your ppl, twisting my words is not going to work with me. U have a great fucking country, end of story.

You want to defend your country? By all means, go ahead. But your remarks aren't going to change a thing. I never said that we are under privileged. I said that you have it better merely because your society does NOT judge you constantly and label you just because your skirt doesn't reach till your knee. You clearly lacked the patience to comprehend that back there and took personal offence. I'm not going to try to derogate you to make myself look better. I know that there are women living on the streets and suffering everyday from poverty, disease, abusive husbands. Unlike many people who just talk about these women and use them to make a point, some of us have contributed even a tiny bit to help these people...despite being ''privileged'' enough to have a nice house, a computer and a net connection and the patience to sit and explain this to you. THAT is what growing up in countries such as mine give you. A better understanding into the suffering of people as you see it all around you. Which in no dante's inferno hell suggests that you lack in even in the slightest. Then, why get heated up over it? SO i will tell you this, you have a great country...no arguments there. So yeah, god bless you and your america 🙂

P Angel, I agree with you on everything except one. Our borders. Dang, stay out of our country! I'm sick of people coming here! Straighten out your own damn country and quit effing ours up! Case in point? Muslims! Yes, I am extremely racist towards middle eastern people. Extremely. Peaceful religion my ass! Crazy ass rag heads are murderous losers. I trust none of them. Not one. I wish we could have open season to herd them up and ship them back to the freaking desert and they can stay the eff out! This American does NOT FORGIVE!

As far as the original poster? Grow the eff up, quit playing freaking mind games with him, or any guy, say what you feel like saying, when you feel like it. If he blows you off? Well there you go, he's a jerk! Move on. If he comes sniffing around again? Give him the courtesy of listening, HEAR what he has to say, then YOU decide if you want to move forward with the conversation, relationship, what ever, either way? Don't play games! All it does is create drama and bullshit. No one needs that selfcreated shit storm. Be true to YOUR feelings, needs and wants, If he doesn't fit the bill? You can't force him to.

And I dont need any horrific rants back about how narrow minded I am on the Muslim thing. You won't change my mind, I am NOT ashamed of it! I remember 9/11 and how the Muslims in this country cheered! So Ef them. I was born in the great US of A and my first Ammendment right is freedom of speech!

Posted by DominOo

Posted by ellessque
i love how people think they are entitled to an opinion just because they wrote some stuff.

FFS.....

Everyone is entitled to an opinion?

click to expand

Except you.

You trying to get in my panties, fella? 😉

Well I guess I went off on a rant. A few glasses of wine and my big girl panties got my mouth running.

9/11, Chicago, buildings collapsing, the corner store two blocks from the office - owned and operated by Muslims, THEY WERE CHEERING! I have never ever forgotten that. While we were watching in horror as people were crushed to the death as the towers fell, humane beings, mothers, fathers, daughters, sons, etc. That community was Cheering.

So my very unforgiving nature towards Muslims is locked in to that incredible, horrific day. I will NEVER forgive it.

I don't have to.

But I should have explained my self better and why my feelings are so, so strong. I know many, many Americans feel the sane way, and some don't - and that is ok, we are a free Country and we have the luxury of being true to ourselves.

Have a great day everyone.

I am assuming you all realize I was working in Chicago, watching the towers fall on TV, every tv station.