How much space do Scorpio's need?

I'm full of random questions right now and talking to you guys is curving my intense need to call my Scorp guy right now at this VERY moment. I havent talked to him since our text conversaton on Saturday. For the past year, I've been able to keep my feelings in check. And now....now it's getting to the point to were it's too hard to hold this back anymore. I'm getting to were I miss him when I don't see him. I'm craving affection from him right now even though we've never been intimate. I want to call and see him so bad, but I'm scared that I'll push him away. We don't see eachother that often as it is and I dont want to make it worse. I feel like stepping up and taking the lead in this whole thing but I'm fighting that urge. I need advice. How do you work you way into a Scorpio's life? I know that they want to be in control of things, but what is a Virgo girl to do when he's allowing things to stay in limbo? I'm feeling some really intense emotions right now and I'm tired of holding back.....(and thanks for allowing me to vent.) See, VIRGO's are not cold & numb. We have intense feelings too. 🙂

Then do it and give him some sex it will conceal the deal.

"a minimum of 10 squared metres."

Why thank you Roxi. (wink) 🙂

I think I'm going to pull waaaay back at this point. Scorpio or not, if a man wanted things to move foward then he wouldn't hesitate to do it. I'm going to send a text for his birthday this week and that will be the last thing that will be initiated by myself. Just basically drop off the face of the earth at this point. Maybe thats what a woman needs to do especially if things start to get to a point where the woman is doing more initiating than the man. Thoughts?

"They have a way of draining your energy if you don't, usually presenting itself as you feeling inexplicably tired and low."

Oh my God!!.....TB..I am VERY drained. Sometimes I have to pull back just to get my mind back. I havent been able to sleep and havent had much of an appetite. I'm waking up at 4 & 5 in the morning just thinking about him. I can't sleep but I have energy coming out of nowhere when I think of him. Dreaming about him constantly and thinking about him constantly. Is this what love feels like? Anyone?

"i think that they try to take your energy.."

Borrowing batteries and stuff?

***Means a LOT of space...especially when they're sulking, which is pretty much most of the time...if they're not getting their way with you...***

TB, I am finding this to be very true.

"Are you dealing with a kid or an adult? If you are dealing with someone that sensitive who penalize you for wanting to at least talk to them, then maybe you should be with someone who don't invite as many inhibitions in your interactions. Everyone needs space, but why is this a question early in a relationship? If you are asking such severe questions this early on, and you are just comfortable with calling them, or coming to see them on a regular basis, then this is NOT A HEALTY RELATIONSHIP. No amount of astrological mumbo jumbo is going to make you understand your Scorp any better. you are either getting along with him, or you are not. there really is no in between, especially when it is this early. The entire base here is wrong. You are scared to interact with your partner. But last I checked, partnerships are about interactions. It is like an employee who is afraid to work. you aren't even performing the core requirments of the relationship. Where do you think this is going to go?
There is no saving this disaster. you've given up any integrity you had to center yourself around this guy and his weird habbits. ADD? Yeah right. An excuse to act like an marker. I've seen people with accute ADD, and they aren't this bad. Time for you to see where disease end, and where you are clearly in the the land of jerkdom. Hell, you don't even need to evaluate it. You are knee deep in jerkdom right now. But you already know all of this anyway, so why am I wasting my breath.
In short southern T, stop asking stupid ing questions. You know the answers. This guy is an marker. He probably has about 3 or 4 other women who is jerking around on the side. He isn't even thinking about you or worried about you. you are his backup kitty, when all of his other women dump him, he'll go to your stupid ass because you focus so much energy around him. You know what is going on, let the butter go. The questions, knock them off, what you think is going on IS going on. He doesn't ing care about you, live with it, and move on to something better."

So branh0913, this is your message to pretty much EVERYBODY on this board. Everybody on here is going through the same thing that I'm going through. I appreciate it if you would stop the personal attacks on me and the name calling. Not cool at all.

unusualcancer, thank you for your response and input. I appreciate that alot and I can be receptive to your advice. Thanks.

Southern T.. unusualcancer gave you a good advice.

About branh.. He's been calling almost all of us idiots, so don't take him seriously. We old dxpnetters know his need for that and we allow him to do that, not because we are masochists but because we hope he'll feel better after doing that.. 😛

*setting herself as target*

Everyone, the ONLY reason that I am confused is because my Scorp guy was VERY agressive for the first two months. He called 4 or 5 days a week, we went out (group settings), he verbally expressed his interest to me and talked about taking things to the next level. But the only thing is that he gave a time frame for this happening, he said "I will probably come to you in the next month or two to discuss taking this to the next level". He said that to me verbatim. After that discussion is when his behavior changed and he started pulling back right after that conversation. Which by the way, was initiated by him and I was not the one that brought that up. And it's been a year now. So in other words, he didnt start off with any game playing. IF he would've have started off with the game playing, then I would have really cut him off. But he didnt do that. And not once has he stated to me that he didnt want a relationship or that he wasnt ready for one. Not once. I don't want everybody thinking that I'm living in a fantasy world and grasping for air here. So, in a nutshell, that's why I am confused and conflicted right now. And I've said over and over again that we havent had sex yet so I know that is not the reason that he keeps coming back around. I dont call him, he calls me. So I dont really know how to pull back any further than that. But I guess in reality, this whole thing is a lost cause. Thanks for everybody's input.

****Scorps enjoy pursuing and being agressive...even the females. They actually seem to like a partner who might be a bit more laidback than them, that seems to stir their passions. ***

This is very true indeed!!!!

ST, although scorps are aggressive, we don't like to persue for long if it isn' reciprocated. It seems he persued you relentless initially and it seems your response wasn't what he expected. What happened at the discussion? Did he say, "Lets take this to the next leve." And you said Okay? Probably not. Sex is not the most important thing in a relationship with us, but it is important. Yes we can stay faithful but, realize most of us have a high sex drive. If you ain't given him none, then——? Not that you should have sex before YOU are ready.

Just my two cents. What went on during the discussion? This will shine some light on his current actions.

***He figured you're just playing with his emotions and don't find him physically appealing. He's thus tired of putting in the effort. Understandably.***

Excellent point TB... We gotta have it... Although we are picky about from whom.

Unusualcancer, I agree about there being more. I myself don't see any scorp male/female not being responsive. If we like you, we just do and we really do. There aren't too many grey areas for us.

Scorp men not being sexually agressive though? New one for me. Interesting.

LOL @Bling!!! That is all I am saying.

No prob Bling, we are scorps if we can agree on anything it is the need of sex... LOL!!! Okay am I being permiscuous? Because I am really and innocent lady... ***shifts eyes back and forth***

"I think if he wanted sex from you he has already gotten it from you."

I PROMISE there has been no sex. Not even a kiss. I have no reason to lie about that to you guys. I don't even know ya'll

"I think if he wanted sex from you he has already gotten it from you."

I PROMISE there has been no sex. Not even a kiss. I have no reason to lie about that to you guys. I don't even know ya'll

We were introduced by a mutal friend. But he was coming fresh out of an engagement. We both verbally expressed that we liked eachother alot.(I definitley did not expect him to jump back into a serious relationship after a broken engagement.) He called me about 3 or 4 days a week for about 2 months straight. Then he initiates the conversation about taking things to the next level. My response was, that may be a little fast for me, but I would like that and I would like to see where it goes. (I said that because he was fresh out of an engagement and I didnt want to be his rebound.) RIGHT after that, he stopped calling and would not respond to my once a week calls. This happened at the end of Nov. I stopped calling period. Then I dont hear from him again till the end of Jan. He sends text out of no where and we go out in a group setting. (we have a mutual friend). While out that night he says "I invited you out tonight because I wanted to apologize face to face for the way that I handled things. My ex fiance was still causing problems and I didnt want you to have to go through that. I had my reasons for doing what I did. And I was really starting to like you alot and I could tell that you really liked me too." So from that point he called once a week for another month. He would make sexual jokes or remarks and we would just laugh. He never acted on anything and never asked me for anything sexual. Starting from that point the contact was very sporadic on his part. I would hear from him about every 4-6 weeks and we would do things in grouop settings. (Never me and him alone and he never took me out on a date.) NOW, he's calling more often but he flaked out on me the first time that I was supposed to go over his house about a month ago. We set a day and when that day came, he didnt answer his phone. I then sent him a text saying "The next time you make plans and decide to cancle or if something comes up, I would appreciate if you would let me know so that I dont have that time set aside". His response "I am so sorry, I was playing basketball & got hit in the head and I had a minor concussion. Took pain relivers and went to sleep" I simply replied "sorry to hear that, hope you feel better" (part of me did NOT believe that of course.)So, he then called me a couple of days later and came to pick me up and we hung out at the mall. Before he dropped me off he, I explained to him that I dont understand what his intentions are. His resonse "I'm a good guy and I have g

call me when your finished. I call him about an hour later, he doesnt answer, but sends me a text about half an hour later saying he's already at the mall. OK-cool, a week later (last week) he invites me over to his place. I go over there and we talk and laugh and I left about midnight. He walks me to my car and hugs me tight and kisses my cheek. He gave me light kisses on my neck too, and I laughed and said "alright boy..." He laughed too, I got in the car and he told me to call him when I made it home safely. So now it's been a week and I havent heard from him since I went over there last week. Until yesterday, thats when I sent him the original text that started this thread. My purose for telling him that i didnt know if we were on the same page. I have made it VERY clear to him that I dont do casual sex or friends with benefits and I will not have sex outside of a relationship. THAT is why I sent him the text saying that I didnt know if we are on the same page. he's now been asking to see me "just a little" more often. Put it this way: I've seen him 3 times in the past 4 or 5 weeks. With a couple of text and phone conversatons in between. And yes he has been dropping sexual hints within the past 4 months. His first one was in June, after a group of us went out, he asked if I wanted to come inside afterwards and it was 2:30 am in the morning. I smiled and told him that it was pretty late for me to come inside. He just hugged me and smiled. Walked me to my car and said goodnight. Then I didnt hear from him for about a month. Then I didnt hear from him untl July when he sends a text out the blue saying "Did anyone tell you that you are beautiful today? Well if not....you are beautiful." Then he called a few times in July, so then he started calling more frequently towards the end of July. Then August and Sept....he's been calling a little more and we've seen eachother a little more. HE is sending mixed signals when he is not being consistent. How does he expect me to feel comfortable with being intimate with him when his contact is so sporadic and his signals are not cleare? Prime example: (He STILL hasnt replied to my original question about us being on the same page by the way...)I went out Saturday night with the girls and they stood outside in the parking lot deciding not to go inside. So I get back in the car and head home. But, since I was already dressed with no where to go, I called him and asked if he was out on the town for the night, explaining

to him that my girls decided not to go inside the first place we went to. He says "Well if you would have called me earlier, we could have had snuggle time." I SAY "well we can still do that." He says "It would be later. Around 2 or 2:30 AM (in the morning). We can snuggle tomorrow. But I have some other people with me right now and we are trying to decide what to do for the night. I'll call you so you can meet up with us" I said "ok. I would like that". THEN....I get a text from my girlfriend about 10 minutes after that conversation saying that he wanted me to COME BACK to the place where me and my girls were at earlier because they decided to stay. So I turn around and go BACK. I walk in and he sitting there and I had no idea that he was even up there. So I walk in, he is there with another guy and two girls. So this set up was pretty obvious. I asked him if he was there with a date and he introduced me to everyone. Then said in my ear "Dont worry, its not that type of party" (refering to the girl that sitting next to him.)

so through out the night, she had a few drinks and was pretty touchy with him and and he danced with her. (I noticed that SHE was making all of the advances and he didnt touch her not once, and he kept pulling away.) But he didnt really talk to me much with her being in his face all night. (Good thing I was there with my girls.) So my point being, if he is sooo interested in me (shy/confused/mixed signals...whatever) why wasn't I his date for the night? And why on earth would he invite me to come back up there knowing that he was there with a girl already who obviously liked him? Then the four of them left and he didnt even tell me he was leaving and didnt say bye. And to top it off, of course he did NOT call me the next day to "snuggle" like he said he wanted to do and I agreed to. A week later, early last week is when we went to work out and play basketball together. That's when he proceeds to tell me that his mother is in town and for me to call him later that week to stop by and meet her. I text him later that week and asked what time I wanted to come by and tell him "8 or 8:30. what time is good for you?" No response from him.

I'm soooo sorry for the long post, but you guys needed to see this from the very begining. This is pretty much everything that has happened and of course there were phone and text conversation in between all of that. (I copied and pasted a majority of that from another thread.)

"It is important to him that you have your principles, that you don't like sex
without relationship. But this should be valid for your past. He adores people
with principles.
But with him you should follow his rules."

Huh? You'll have to expand on this. Am I reading this to say that I should have my values and priciples, but throw them out the door and follow his rules if he wants sex outside of a relationship? Am I understanding you correctly?

ok....and this gets me where?...... Exactly?

"So you should see how strong you are. Check your past.
Or start with exercises right now."

I'll say this one thing about us Virgo's: Once we are in love, we dont and wont let go. Unless the object of our desires ends up in a relationship or married to someone else, only then is it logical for us to finaly walk away. It doesnt get any stronger than that.

Another thing about this guy is whenever he is not in direct contact with me, he always sends messages through our mutual friend. Stuff like "tell her she is beautiful and I'm thinking about her" ect...

He and I would have been intimate had he not disapeared off the face of the earth after that conversation. Because he did that and then popped up again, that caused me to put my guard up. Because in my head, I feel that if I have sex with him, then he's going to disapear afterwards. It that may or may not be the case, and that's were communication comes in to place. That is why I flat out asked him what his intentions were a couple of months ago. He simply said "I'm a good guy with good intentions." I'm not going to share my body with a man as long as I have questions in my mind that he has yet to clear up by talking. YES I want to share my body with this man, but under the right circumstances. I'm not going to be a "casual option" for him. So as long as he continues to do what he is doing without stepping it up, then he will see that I am going to continue to hold back from him. I dont know......(sigh)

And he also knows good and well that if he were to come out and say that he only wants a casual/sexual realtionship....he KNOWS that I will EXIT immediatley.

"He's trying to put her to bed...bed...bed...is all I'm saying."

LMAO!! TB....I'm actually starting to like that song a little.

he wants sex.which is why he is not putting an effort into anything that is not related to having sex with you.case closed.

"sure..it sounds very inviting...but, he will be getting his cake before he does what he is supposed to do and when that happens you will be setting a precident for the future.."

Well stated and I couldnt agree more. Thanks! 🙂

"http://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/messages.asp?p=1&id=545507"

WOW....WOW....WOW....

My sister (aries) dated a sxorp for 4.5 years and they were living together etc, but they split in April. Even though they lived and socialised a lot together, he would constantly phone her and basically smothering her..it was really depressing her.

I loved a scorp in the past who didnt feel the same..but now i think i should be careful what i wish for..all that intensity would weigh me down..im sure of it!

Southern...just tell him to leave you alone....tell him that you have feelings for him but from his actions you feel that is not mutual and this is something that you cannot stand any more....tell him that you will start dating other men (give the impression that you have an offer) and you need to have his energy off you in order to continue with your life... when you say these, look at him in the eyes determined but you face expression must be calm and your tone of your voice gentle...do not show any anger or how hurt you feelings are or be dramatic....tell him goodbye (still being calm) and find an excuse to walk away as soon as possible....don't give him a chance to talk about it....
if he reaaaalllyyy likes you he'll back running...else you will just end a painful situation that leads you to nowhere...
This is my opinion and I'm confident that this will clear things out

"http://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/messages.asp?p=1&id=545507"

Ok, is it just me or is that border line "Narcissistic" behavior?

**I PROMISE there has been no sex. Not even a kiss. I have no reason to lie about that to you guys. I don't even know ya'll***

And as previously stated. Scorps like who we like and we like expressing our feelings through sex and other emotions as well. It doesn't mean he is getting used to being a bachelor and no, sex isn't everything, but it is the art of making love through sex that scorps enjoy, and emotional, spiritual and intimate connections we want to express ourselves to the person we love.

Because he isn't allowed to do so is shutting down his expression of his affection to you to an extent. What is the deal? How long have you been seeing eachother? What are you waiting for? Does he turn you on at all sexually? Seriously, we are all adults. If you crave him like you say, then show him in a way he can express the same... What are you afraid of?

"Because he isn't allowed to do so is shutting down his expression of his affection to you to an extent. What is the deal? How long have you been seeing eachother? What are you waiting for? Does he turn you on at all sexually? Seriously, we are all adults. If you crave him like you say, then show him in a way he can express the same... What are you afraid of?"

Yes I crave him and YES he turns me on sexually like no other man has ever before. Having sex with him is not a big deal in itself. But sex is emotional for me and I am woman enough to admit that to myself. I can not handle a "no strings" attached situation. The issue is that we are not seeing eachother. He doesnt call, he doesnt ask to see me, he isnt trying to get to know me. (at least I dont feel like he is.) He keeps me at a distance. If we were actually seeing eachother, then of course we wouldnt have been intimate by now. In other words, I feel like I would be an absolute fool if I had sex with him at this point. He's not showing me that he cares about me. I called him twice for his birthday this past weekend. He didnt answer and didnt call back. That is our cycle.....
He does stuff like that.

Then I stop completley.

Then he steps foward again.

When he steps foward again, then I start to think that he cares.

Then I start to let my guard down and open up a little bit more emotionally. (i.e. telling him that I'm scared about us not being on the same page....hug him a little longer and a little tighter. (just letting him get close to me slowly.)

Then I wont hear from him for a few weeks.

Then he'll pop up again and start the whole thing over.

So, if there is something that I am doing wrong that maybe I don't see that is causing us not to cross over that hump then...someone please point it out for me. And at the same time, he is doing things as well to hinder this.

And I'm not saying that just in regards to this particular guy, but I say that so that I don't continue to end up in situations like this with other guys. Maybe there is simply something that I just dont understand.

And as far as getting physical....
I sent him a text a few months ago saying:

me---I think you should kiss me pretty soon 🙂
him--wow. your amazing. why should I kiss you?
me--why on earth would you not want to kiss me? Why should I let you? 🙂
him--because your horny and you want me
me--wow, Im at a loss for words at this point.
him--you should be because I just pulled your card.
me--dont understand? Guess you see this as a game. When in actuality I'm not trying to get hurt. I'm not playing any games on my side.

So basically, he made me feel bad for even asking for a kiss. Which in turn, makes me feel bad if I even wanted to be intimate with him.

"What are you afraid of?"

Afraid that I wont be able to keep my emotions in check once we sleep together. And I'm scared that he doesnt really care about me.

"He is a player and he enjoys stringing you along to make himself feel good

A sincere man especially a scorp who fell for you would make it impossible to miss his sincerely and how much he wants you... of course if after that you rejects him then he would give you a cold shoulder which is also impossible to miss for there would be no mix signals in his day and night display of affections"

Well not once have I rejected him. So....I dont know what his deal is... Gotta gather my pride and move on I guess.

"Gotta gather my pride and move on I guess."
I think thats the best thing to do. He sounds like he's a player. He probably just wants sex with no strings attached. You deserve to be treated much better than this.

***In other words, I feel like I would be an absolute fool if I had sex with him at this point. He's not showing me that he cares about me. I called him twice for his birthday this past weekend. He didnt answer and didnt call back. That is our cycle. ***


So why be bothered? Did he ever act like he was into you? Do you not have sex unless you are in a relationship? Personally, I like to test the waters first. LOL!!! But, I am a scorp. Anyway, it is up to you. Maybe he felt like you were playing games, because you pulled back so much initially. Talk to him seriously when he does call.

Ask him what he wants if he wants anything. From personal experience recently, if a scorp man isn't ready for a serious relationship, he will tell you. However if he likes you he won't want to let you go. He will still call and want to be around you etc.

i would love to have a conversation with him. Just dont know if its even worth it at this point.

ST, the only way to find out is to have the conversation. Get closure girl and move on...