How would a Scorpio react to hiding an illness

So I found out I have stage 1 cervical cancer. They are going to do a “scoop” procedure and then if the cells are on the perimeter. I’ll have to do some sort of radiation if there are and the dr said my cells are aggressive. Since we caught it early, I’m hoping for a full recovery. The problem is I don’t want to tell anyone.

I’m in a long distance relationship with my Scorpio for over a year. We are fine. I’m just not up for making this about anyone else. I’m in the middle of renovating our house, working 2 jobs and raising our daughters. Between the 2 of us, I’m the more “strong” one. I would just rather tell him when I’m in remission. Aside from avoiding sex, I don’t see how this could interfere. How would a Scorpio react?

I think I would be more upset if you didn't tell me at all....

Posted by livictori
I’m just not up for making this about anyone else.

This is about you. If you need his support you should tell him.

I'm not a scorpio but if my partner stopped fucking me without explanation I'd start to imagine the worst.

My Ex Scorpio went through this and was scared shitless over his kids mother having Cancer. Hers was a minor procedure too but he went to every doctor appointment and was there for her. You know how caring and loyal Scorpios can be. When someone they care about or ever cared about needs them, they will be there.

It will be up to you to tell him, but you should kind of make it seem like you found out and got the procedure done the same day or something so it wont seem like you've been hiding it. He may feel slighted with something being kept from him and you are a big part of his life. Just my opinion, though.

Posted by Reincarnation

Posted by livictori
So I found out I have stage 1 cervical cancer. They are going to do a “scoop” procedure and then if the cells are on the perimeter. I’ll have to do some sort of radiation if there are and the dr said my cells are aggressive. Since we caught it early, I’m hoping for a full recovery. The problem is I don’t want to tell anyone.

I’m in a long distance relationship with my Scorpio for over a year. We are fine. I’m just not up for making this about anyone else. I’m in the middle of renovating our house, working 2 jobs and raising our daughters. Between the 2 of us, I’m the more “strong” one. I would just rather tell him when I’m in remission. Aside from avoiding sex, I don’t see how this could interfere. How would a Scorpio react?

There is no need to tell him.

It's a small procedure. Takes about 10 minutes in the OR. I've seen several. Chance of you getting radiation is small.

HPV strikes again.

click to expand

But how would he feel/react if he finds out?

He may be very upset if you don't tell him and then finds out

I would want to know

Posted by livictori
So I found out I have stage 1 cervical cancer. They are going to do a “scoop” procedure and then if the cells are on the perimeter. I’ll have to do some sort of radiation if there are and the dr said my cells are aggressive. Since we caught it early, I’m hoping for a full recovery. The problem is I don’t want to tell anyone.

I’m in a long distance relationship with my Scorpio for over a year. We are fine. I’m just not up for making this about anyone else. I’m in the middle of renovating our house, working 2 jobs and raising our daughters. Between the 2 of us, I’m the more “strong” one. I would just rather tell him when I’m in remission. Aside from avoiding sex, I don’t see how this could interfere. How would a Scorpio react?

I guess trust isn't a foundation of your relationship. The fact that you see the lack of sex as the only issue that could interfere with your relationship suggest how you see your connection and why the Scorp will more than likely be so bothered by it. If he is your partner, then treat him as such. If he isn't then by all means act accordingly and like true Scorp style he will as well, just a heads up.

Anyway, no one know's how he will react, but he could feel any or all of the following:

- that you don't trust him (his ability to support, comfort, love or support you)

- feel insulted that you thought something so important in your life couldn't be shared

- question what you two are building given your lack of openness and trust

- angry (but that may be masking hurt)

- resentment and distant

- rejected

and the glaringly obvious:

- become suspicious because honestly "aside from avoiding sex" is going to raise the Scorp radar leading to assumptions about what is going on. This then opens another issue and you either come clean or lose him because he will be insistent that you are "cheating".

Posted by livictori
...I’m just not up for making this about anyone else.

click to expand

I get this. Sadly, water signs tend to be emotionally egotistical and this could be turned into tending to his emotional needs. Thing is, Scorps go into protective mode usually because what matters most needs to be kept safe. It's partly selfish and partly out of deep love and affection. If it's a concern be blunt about needing his support and not his drama if you decide to share it with him. I honestly don't think it will be a concern, Scorps are quite strong in situations like this but then again I don't know your Scorp.

I hope things work out for you and your loved ones.

I get this. Sadly, water signs tend to be emotionally egotistical and this could be turned into tending to his emotional needs. Thing is, Scorps go into protective mode usually because what matters most needs to be kept safe. It's partly selfish and partly out of deep love and affection. If it's a concern be blunt about needing his support and not his drama if you decide to share it with him. I honestly don't think it will be a concern, Scorps are quite strong in situations like this but then again I don't know your Scorp.

I hope things work out for you and your loved ones.

THIS!! And if I’m totally honest with myself I don’t think he will be what I need and use our distance. He’s not expressive. He’s started drinking really heavily over the last month and he hates our distance. I guess I don’t trust his ability to care for me 700 miles apart.

I'd be pissed (not a scorp).

Like I get where you are coming from but yeah I'd be pissed.

Posted by LaMadrina
Let's switch it up. He has prostate cancer and keeps it to himself. Did not want to make it a you thing. Stops having sex with you. Gives you excuses or withdraws from you. You don't have a clue what is happening. How would you react?

Between the 2 of us, I’m the nurturer and care giver. When I had a lump in my breast, I did share that with him. He wasn’t demonstratively supportive. He actually made us super late for the sonogram and we were refused for that appointment. Nearly a month later I ended up going through the process of finding out it was nothing alone. He was annoyed I scheduled the appointment during a visit. He’s very stoic and not emotive. I know who he is and I love him but I can’t be strong for us both right now. So us being very different, I’d be hurt. Ironically I think he’d be relieved

Posted by Fins101
Hi Livictori,

First of all I am so sorry you are having to go through something like this,I send you my best wishes.



A question :who else have you told about this ? The reason that I am asking this is what if he finds out from someone else ? that would hurt him tenfold more. I know this from experience it was basically the reason that one of my exes (a scorp) ended the relationship. FYI I didn't have cance,r just to be clear ,but my situation had simaliar echoes to me not wanting to tell him something.He later found out through a mutual friend of ours and our relationship ended we went sure where our relationship was going but when he found out my secret that was it

You say you guys are living apart. I commend you greatly for not wanting drama(we all know how ALL water signs can be guilty of drama), when a water sign leaves their feelings aside we become stronger esp Pisces ,well done!.



The next question I am going to ask is how close after one year do you feel to him ? A year is not esp long but a lot can happen in a year and I dont know the ins and out so I wont say to much on that. What I would say is think carefully for your own sake its important to be clear headed as possible about this ,what I am saying is consider him carefully do you honestly deep down trust him ... do actions match words.



The choice is yours but here is what I would do if I was in your situation (depending how much you feel comfortable telling him). I would meet him in a coffee shop (when your strong enough to be as unemtoional as possible), its neutral ground where there is less likely to be a scene.

When you do tell him either : the full truth but tell him you want things drama free as possible

tell him your are ill but do not go into specifics but tell him you are getting help and are getting better.

I haven’t told anyone including my best friend. I am going to/from my surgery through a car service. I’ll probably only tell my daughters when they’re older UNLESS my condition progresses negatively. I’m not the kind of person who shares easily. And I’ve had friends who because very upset when I’m not “vulnerable” about my problems/issues. I learned a long time ago that no one is coming so if somethings wrong, take care of it myself

@livictory

First of all honey - I am sure we all here will pray for your recovery and you know that prayers go a long way!

For the Scorp - I have vibes you don’t find him as being the man for your support based on previous experience.

That’s sad that you can’t kean on him.

Being apart - why do you worry about sex? How often do you have it anyway being LDR? You might recover before you see him next time? You think?

So my thoughts - you know better. If you live trough this and tell him later - he might get mad that you didn’t tell him but being glad you didn’t...putting on the ‘good caring bf’ show...

Telling him now considering how little supportive he is - being far away - he will be torn apart - does he need to come over to support you and being with you...or stay put waiting for results...might drive him up a wall...

It’s your decision to make. First I thought - must tell! But after what you said about your precious illness - I am not sure anymore.

How often do you get together? What’s the reason for him being away? How does your life goes while he is gone? Let’s see what’s really going on? Post away.

And God Bless. I am feeling you will be fine. I have good intuition. About him...not sure though...but Scorps nature late. How old are you both?

Welp I told him. He’s was here for Easter. His initial question was if it was an April’s fool joke. After the news sunk in, he became protective and tried to call off our planned vacation. He sad it really makes him sad and he’s worried on how to help with him so far away. I’m happy I told him but also scared because he can go to a really dark place. Thank you all for the advice. It would have been worse to lie

Posted by livictori

I get this. Sadly, water signs tend to be emotionally egotistical and this could be turned into tending to his emotional needs. Thing is, Scorps go into protective mode usually because what matters most needs to be kept safe. It's partly selfish and partly out of deep love and affection. If it's a concern be blunt about needing his support and not his drama if you decide to share it with him. I honestly don't think it will be a concern, Scorps are quite strong in situations like this but then again I don't know your Scorp.

I hope things work out for you and your loved ones.

THIS!! And if I’m totally honest with myself I don’t think he will be what I need and use our distance. He’s not expressive. He’s started drinking really heavily over the last month and he hates our distance. I guess I don’t trust his ability to care for me 700 miles apart.





Telling him might make him snap out of the drinking and do something about the distance. If he doesn't, you know what he is made of.

Posted by livictori
Welp I told him. He’s was here for Easter. His initial question was if it was an April’s fool joke. After the news sunk in, he became protective and tried to call off our planned vacation. He sad it really makes him sad and he’s worried on how to help with him so far away. I’m happy I told him but also scared because he can go to a really dark place. Thank you all for the advice. It would have been worse to lie

Give him time. He might well go to a dark place, if that is what he needs to do. I hope this makes you two become closer.

I would be furious but mostly hurt. If you are supposed to be in an intimate relationship with someone intimate boils down to the things you deal with in our day to day life as well. I would feel like you didn't trust me and that weren't serious about our relationship. Especially Gavin tons of experience being in long term long distance relationships transparency is so so very important.

I would say tell them about it but let them know you don't want them to make a big deal about it and coddle you and that you just want to heal and move on from it as quickly as possible. Tell them what you need but most definitely don't hide it .

Posted by livictori
Welp I told him. He’s was here for Easter. His initial question was if it was an April’s fool joke. After the news sunk in, he became protective and tried to call off our planned vacation. He sad it really makes him sad and he’s worried on how to help with him so far away. I’m happy I told him but also scared because he can go to a really dark place. Thank you all for the advice. It would have been worse to lie

Just reading this part. Im glad you told him. I really hope you heal well from this don't worry about what place he goes. You will learn a lot about him these next couple of months for better or for worst *hugs* wishing you blessings.

Sooooo

Almost a month later I regret telling him. 1) he’s started mourning me while I’m still alive. Despite the fact my survival rate is over 90% and me telling him its just going to be adjustments after the procedure. Then he says why did I “burden” him and just do it

2) he basically told me to get a gay sidedude if I want compassion.

3) he cancelled our vacation and being a huge selfish asshole. He is in no way considering me or my feelings in this. Only his. I don’t even want to talk to him because he is so cold an callous on this subject. Then he sends me memes and jokes like nothing is happening. For the life of me; I don’t get it.

Not sure what there is to regret. I'd feel better knowing how much of a self-centered douche he is sooner rather than later. That way I can be on my way and that's less of my life wasted on him!

Posted by livictori
Sooooo
Almost a month later I regret telling him. 1) he’s started mourning me while I’m still alive. Despite the fact my survival rate is over 90% and me telling him its just going to be adjustments after the procedure. Then he says why did I “burden” him and just do it
2) he basically told me to get a gay sidedude if I want compassion.
3) he cancelled our vacation and being a huge selfish asshole. He is in no way considering me or my feelings in this. Only his. I don’t even want to talk to him because he is so cold an callous on this subject. Then he sends me memes and jokes like nothing is happening. For the life of me; I don’t get it.

Hmph.

Well dear, take care of yourself. Your health is the priority.

Hide like they do with everything. It takes a strong Scorpio's man for honesty. The woman are pieces of shit most of the time.

Posted by Fins101
Livictori,

What future do you see with him ? What do you want from him ? He has shown you a lot through his actions and behaviour, from your posts I see a lot from what you say about his behavior ,I have only an outsiders perspective ,what do you see ?.



I send you strength, you are strong enough to stay strong for yourself and your daughters .You are a fighter. One last thing I would ask you to consider... you were cautious about telling him in the first place ?... perhaps this is a huge indication ?

Take care , those scars are battle scars , you are stronger than you realise.

What I want and what’s possible doesn’t seem to be the same anymore. Managing our interactions for our daughters is what’s important. I feel abondoned, unsupported and I cared for. I asked him for space since my surgery was today and he won’t stop calling which feels manipulative to me. Why create a problem to “rescue” me from? All I can do is focus on healing and prepare to live my life.