MoonArtist
@MoonArtist
12 Years10,000+ Posts
Comments: 22 · Posts: 11927 · Topics: 87
It's WAR!! (Page 3)
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Posted by LadyOfRebirth
I would get that you'd be pissed of that he didn't contact you to tell you he's save.. If you were actually together.
As a friend though? You really don't have any ground to get angry at him, at all whatsoever.
If you genuinly cared more for his safety rather than how he makes you feel then you'd be concentrating on the fact that he *is* safe, and be happy about that. But noo, it's all about your feels..
Him and I already hashed that out and I owned my childish shit on it and fixed it so it's not a problem for him. This thread isn't about that....that issue is part of the lead up to what's currently going on.
@IresistableScorp
Well, we're often wrong. But when we're right we'll fight tooth and nail.
It's amusing for the rest of the world.
Well, we're often wrong. But when we're right we'll fight tooth and nail.
It's amusing for the rest of the world.
Dad's a Virgo also. UGH, I never got anything past him.
Posted by tiziani
When you finally open up to a woman and they make it all about them that's a nightmare though. Sorry to say. Prime example of being vindicated about not sharing, because no one on the other end of the line is listening. Maybe that was the brief version of your story and the cliffnotes though MA.
Definitely the cliffnotes version. I've been told by too many that I'm a bit long winded and go on and on with the "story".
Posted by LadyOfRebirthPosted by Damnata
@IresistableScorp
Well, we're often wrong. But when we're right we'll fight tooth and nail.
It's amusing for the rest of the world.
The question is Whether you guys admit to being wrong or not.. I swear most Virgo's rather change the subject than admit they're wrong😆click to expand
ahaha,sometimes.
I have no problems admitting I am wrong and going into detail about how wrong I am.
Posted by tizianiPosted by MoonArtistPosted by tiziani
When you finally open up to a woman and they make it all about them that's a nightmare though. Sorry to say. Prime example of being vindicated about not sharing, because no one on the other end of the line is listening. Maybe that was the brief version of your story and the cliffnotes though MA.
Definitely the cliffnotes version. I've been told by too many that I'm a bit long winded and go on and on with the "story".
Fair play.click to expand
We sort of sorted that out. To me it is about fair play. One side wants open honesty but doesn't want to operate by the same rules and that's not fair. It's just a matter of being on the same page. Dishonesty erodes, even when it's with good intentions. It destroys trust. Lying is a HUGE trigger for me and always has been. Too much of it, too often from a person and it might take years of the pattern to persist, but eventually I'll cut a person out of my life for it with no hope of ever getting back in.
OK, I'm not disrespecting your feelings, but...is this really worth getting this angry over?
Posted by CluelessCancer
Why do we not have a Cancer Scorpio board so we can talk crazy to one another. This sheet is ridiculous. Too much Drama. MoonCancer chill out. Give the man space.
He is getting his space. That's why I'm venting on here....so I don't pester him in RL, so I can work out my anger and frustration and get it back to a civil level. The different input from everyone has given me some food for thought. I'm slowly simmering down.
Posted by tizianiPosted by MoonArtistPosted by tizianiPosted by MoonArtistPosted by tiziani
When you finally open up to a woman and they make it all about them that's a nightmare though. Sorry to say. Prime example of being vindicated about not sharing, because no one on the other end of the line is listening. Maybe that was the brief version of your story and the cliffnotes though MA.
Definitely the cliffnotes version. I've been told by too many that I'm a bit long winded and go on and on with the "story".
Fair play.
We sort of sorted that out. To me it is about fair play. One side wants open honesty but doesn't want to operate by the same rules and that's not fair. It's just a matter of being on the same page. Dishonesty erodes, even when it's with good intentions. It destroys trust. Lying is a HUGE trigger for me and always has been. Too much of it, too often from a person and it might take years of the pattern to persist, but eventually I'll cut a person out of my life for it with no hope of ever getting back in.
A Scorpio does this you say? Shocking! 😉
click to expand
Yesh.....totally. :p
Posted by CreoleGeisha
OK, I'm not disrespecting your feelings, but...is this really worth getting this angry over?
Ugh...I'm a fucking triple cancer with an aries mars!...I have lots of stupid things I get this angry about! You should see me in bad traffic. 😄
Posted by MoonArtistPosted by CreoleGeisha
OK, I'm not disrespecting your feelings, but...is this really worth getting this angry over?
Ugh...I'm a fucking triple cancer with an aries mars!...I have lots of stupid things I get this angry about! You should see me in bad traffic. 😄click to expand
Now now! You know what they say about driving while angry.
I'm sorry your close friend has peeved you so badly.
Posted by tiziani
But I'll also be honest and say men don't care about whether or when you'll cut them out of your life. Most people don't actually. If you're putting up with this behaviour now then this is the real you. It doesn't matter what you will do in the future.
As a cancer woman I disagree. I observe and will occasionally bring the problem to the table. I'm not going to nag on and on forever about it. Once the issue is out there and the other person (male, female, whoever) knows about the problem and we've supposedly come to an agreement then I'll silently take notes if it's still a repeat behavior. If it is then I have the answer: that person isn't a good character to keep and it wasn't a simple human fuck up. I do try to give chances, though, because no one is perfect.
Posted by CreoleGeishaPosted by MoonArtistPosted by CreoleGeisha
OK, I'm not disrespecting your feelings, but...is this really worth getting this angry over?
Ugh...I'm a fucking triple cancer with an aries mars!...I have lots of stupid things I get this angry about! You should see me in bad traffic. 😄
Now now! You know what they say about driving while angry.
I'm sorry your close friend has peeved you so badly.click to expand
lol That's when I try to play classical music so I can not get worked up. Bad traffic coupled with bad drivers who put other people in danger because they're in a hurry is a pet peeve of mine.
Posted by MoonArtistPosted by Damnata
You know I like you Cancer,
But I am going to give it to you straight. You were in the wrong to begin with.
You are not his girlfriend for him to cater to your feelings regarding his facebook status and the type of work he does. If you were catty and approached this cancer like (I have my Venus there, I know all about it) like "oh well it's good you're cooking rice while I AM HERE WORRYING FOR YOU", then that would've pissed me off, let alone a Scorpio.
He called me on it and we got that squared away, or so I thought. I took him off my friend list since it's not the first time we've had issued around it and I've suggested it before and he refused to entertain taking me off his friend list. He even got a little mad that I suggested it. So fine, it's a problem, I have impulse control issues, I took the initiative to make it so it's not an issue ever again. He didn't like that, either, but he said we'll keep it that way for now and see how it works.click to expand
Let me get this right...
You made a comment on his fb that you described as "childish & catty." You discussed it, you admitted that your comment was not appropriate.
And in response to this... YOU REMOVE HIM AS A FRIEND. You even say.. he didn't like that.
Don't you think you're response to getting called out was even more passive aggressive and childish than the first offence? I don't know if I'd feel comfortable telling you my true feelings either, if the result is being de-friended on facebook.
Posted by tizianiPosted by MoonArtistPosted by tiziani
But I'll also be honest and say men don't care about whether or when you'll cut them out of your life. Most people don't actually. If you're putting up with this behaviour now then this is the real you. It doesn't matter what you will do in the future.
As a cancer woman I disagree. I observe and will occasionally bring the problem to the table. I'm not going to nag on and on forever about it. Once the issue is out there and the other person (male, female, whoever) knows about the problem and we've supposedly come to an agreement then I'll silently take notes if it's still a repeat behavior. If it is then I have the answer: that person isn't a good character to keep and it wasn't a simple human fuck up. I do try to give chances, though, because no one is perfect.
I respect your approach and I'm not looking to argue with it. I see things differently. If there's anything I've learnt in a big way it's that the signals (or "chances") I think I give people in no way match up with their perception of me all the time. This is just something none of us can really control because it's always a two way street.click to expand
I'm sure most of my signals go unnoticed, which is why I TRY really hard to not hold it in too long where it festers but to bring it out and open it for discussion and an attempt to reach an agreement. It's not so much about perception of each other as it is about keeping the communication open, honest and civil. Of course people will perceive things differently, because we all experience them and ingest them differently. Bridging that gap so that resentment doesn't build up is the trick to it. Misunderstandings and human error are one thing, though. Repeat bad and disrespectful behavior is something else entirely.
Posted by shellshockerPosted by MoonArtistPosted by Damnata
You know I like you Cancer,
But I am going to give it to you straight. You were in the wrong to begin with.
You are not his girlfriend for him to cater to your feelings regarding his facebook status and the type of work he does. If you were catty and approached this cancer like (I have my Venus there, I know all about it) like "oh well it's good you're cooking rice while I AM HERE WORRYING FOR YOU", then that would've pissed me off, let alone a Scorpio.
He called me on it and we got that squared away, or so I thought. I took him off my friend list since it's not the first time we've had issued around it and I've suggested it before and he refused to entertain taking me off his friend list. He even got a little mad that I suggested it. So fine, it's a problem, I have impulse control issues, I took the initiative to make it so it's not an issue ever again. He didn't like that, either, but he said we'll keep it that way for now and see how it works.
Let me get this right...
You made a comment on his fb that you described as "childish & catty." You discussed it, you admitted that your comment was not appropriate.
And in response to this... YOU REMOVE HIM AS A FRIEND. You even say.. he didn't like that.
Don't you think you're response to getting called out was even more passive aggressive and childish than the first offence? I don't know if I'd feel comfortable telling you my true feelings either, if the result is being de-friended on facebook.click to expand
He was mad about my comment and I owned it and made it right. I asked him what we could do to keep that sort of thing being an issue in the future and he said he didn't know. I suggested (not for the first time) that he remove me from his friend list and he said no. I then told him that it wasn't fair to me to take the brunt of his anger when a simple solution sat there in front of us and it wasn't being used. He still wouldn't offer a solution and was still mad about the comment so I told him, all while choking back some tears and not really succeeding that what I was doing wasn't mean to hurt him and that I didn't like doing it but that it had to be done to take t
He was mad about my comment and I owned it and made it right. I asked him what we could do to keep that sort of thing being an issue in the future and he said he didn't know. I suggested (not for the first time) that he remove me from his friend list and he said no. I then told him that it wasn't fair to me to take the brunt of his anger when a simple solution sat there in front of us and it wasn't being used. He still wouldn't offer a solution and was still mad about the comment so I told him, all while choking back some tears and not really succeeding that what I was doing wasn't mean to hurt him and that I didn't like doing it but that it had to be done to take that issue away between us. I unfriended him while he was on the phone and he knew exactly what and why it was happening. I still don't like that it was done but for now I can't see any other solution and he's not offering any.
Posted by tiziani
But I'll also be honest and say men don't care about whether or when you'll cut them out of your life. Most people don't actually.
Agree...
Cancers! You're exhausting!!! 😛
"Yeah I hear that, verbal communication and agreements are important to me. I like to chop it out and know we're working from relatively the same page. I guess this is what makes us Controlling Cardinals."
*my cardinal chart nods*
*my cardinal chart nods*
Posted by LilliLouPosted by tiziani
But I'll also be honest and say men don't care about whether or when you'll cut them out of your life. Most people don't actually.
Agree...
Cancers! You're exhausting!!! 😛
click to expand
You should try being one....oy! X.x
Posted by tizianiPosted by MoonArtistPosted by tizianiPosted by MoonArtistPosted by tiziani
But I'll also be honest and say men don't care about whether or when you'll cut them out of your life. Most people don't actually. If you're putting up with this behaviour now then this is the real you. It doesn't matter what you will do in the future.
As a cancer woman I disagree. I observe and will occasionally bring the problem to the table. I'm not going to nag on and on forever about it. Once the issue is out there and the other person (male, female, whoever) knows about the problem and we've supposedly come to an agreement then I'll silently take notes if it's still a repeat behavior. If it is then I have the answer: that person isn't a good character to keep and it wasn't a simple human fuck up. I do try to give chances, though, because no one is perfect.
I respect your approach and I'm not looking to argue with it. I see things differently. If there's anything I've learnt in a big way it's that the signals (or "chances") I think I give people in no way match up with their perception of me all the time. This is just something none of us can really control because it's always a two way street.
I'm sure most of my signals go unnoticed, which is why I TRY really hard to not hold it in too long where it festers but to bring it out and open it for discussion and an attempt to reach an agreement. It's not so much about perception of each other as it is about keeping the communication open, honest and civil. Of course people will perceive things differently, because we all experience them and ingest them differently. Bridging that gap so that resentment doesn't build up is the trick to it. Misunderstandings and human error are one thing, though. Repeat bad and disrespectful behavior is something else entirely.click to expand
Yeah I hear that, verbal communication and agreements are important to me. I like to chop it out and know we're working from relatively the same page. I guess this is what makes us Controlling Cardinals.
Posted by GetMistedPosted by MoonArtist
Ohhhhhh fuck fuckity fuck fuck, but this is a BAD time to play games with anyone who has an Aries Mars. That would be me. Triple Cancer with an Aries Mars and a Leo Venus. Anyway, my very dear friend who is Scorpio with Aries rising and Cancer moon and Libra Mars and Scorpio Venus is mad at me..
To be fair..
If I have to be off work because the doctor says, it is very likely that no one will hear from me for days. Even if I am involved with someone. I don't miss work unless I feel like I'm on my death bed, and yes.. back spasms will do that.
This of course is without me reading the novel ahead of me. Two Cancer moons though? That sounds like a lot of passive aggressive behavior between the both of you.
*continues to read*click to expand
Oy, I know...that's why I try to keep the communication from unraveling so we can avoid that as much as possible.
Posted by MoonArtistPosted by shellshocker
Let me get this right...
You made a comment on his fb that you described as "childish & catty." You discussed it, you admitted that your comment was not appropriate.
And in response to this... YOU REMOVE HIM AS A FRIEND. You even say.. he didn't like that.
Don't you think you're response to getting called out was even more passive aggressive and childish than the first offence? I don't know if I'd feel comfortable telling you my true feelings either, if the result is being de-friended on facebook.
He was mad about my comment and I owned it and made it right. I asked him what we could do to keep that sort of thing being an issue in the future and he said he didn't know. I suggested (not for the first time) that he remove me from his friend list and he said no. I then told him that it wasn't fair to me to take the brunt of his anger when a simple solution sat there in front of us and it wasn't being used. He still wouldn't offer a solution and was still mad about the comment so I told him, all while choking back some tears and not really succeeding that what I was doing wasn't mean to hurt him and that I didn't like doing it but....click to expand
You keep stating this and the thing I think you are missing is I don't think you made things as right as you may believe. You then proceeded to dictate how to "make it right" and he was not hearing it and finally (passively) shut it down. I think you may be taking your knowledge of how this Scorp will act/feels for granted. I wanted to read through the thread before responding and it has been hinted at here and there, and you keep responding the same way....Anyway, if your suspicions are right that he's giving you the silent treatment---Scorp don't do that if "it's all good" in Water World, so make your way back to the beginning where you "made things right"--chances are you did not. If he is taking time off as he said and you are reacting this strongly---again go back to the beginning (e.g. where you flipped out on the man over his fb status). You don't get to dictate when someone should be over something even when you think "you made it right".
Posted by GetMistedPosted by MoonArtist
Oh, he's getting his 3-5 days.....and then I'm adding to it. If he wants space to be pissed then all he had to do was say so.
As for the why we had the fight in the first place: I made a catty comment on his fb page because of some huge miscommunication between us. He works in a dangerous job and went on location but got so busy (his reasoning) that he didn't have time to answer my text if he was alright. While I'm silently panicking that the worst has happened I find a lame status update about him cooking rice and doing it wrong. Thaaaaannnnnkkkkksss, nice to know you're ok and had time to post that but couldn't give a rats ass if anyone might worry about your safety. 😛
The Cancer is strong in this one 😛click to expand
What was your first clue?
Posted by GetMistedPosted by MoonArtistPosted by Damnata
You know I like you Cancer,
But I am going to give it to you straight. You were in the wrong to begin with.
You are not his girlfriend for him to cater to your feelings regarding his facebook status and the type of work he does. If you were catty and approached this cancer like (I have my Venus there, I know all about it) like "oh well it's good you're cooking rice while I AM HERE WORRYING FOR YOU", then that would've pissed me off, let alone a Scorpio.
He called me on it and we got that squared away, or so I thought. I took him off my friend list since it's not the first time we've had issued around it and I've suggested it before and he refused to entertain taking me off his friend list. He even got a little mad that I suggested it. So fine, it's a problem, I have impulse control issues, I took the initiative to make it so it's not an issue ever again. He didn't like that, either, but he said we'll keep it that way for now and see how it works.
I'm confused..
Are the two of you not and item?click to expand
We are but we aren't. It's long distance and neither of us is free to move at the moment. We are friends first and foremost no matter what. We are also very much more than that.
Posted by xMoonMan
*Yawn..*
wth is going on in here?
Is MoonArtist annoying you guys ...again!
😉
Yes....because I can.
Posted by tiziani
That's not specific to this situation though since I don't think MA is the type to explicitly verbalise it. I just notice a lot of people think this way and it gets them zero results in terms of their expectations for the other side to change to their tune.
This is how the ex wanted things....sort of. He wanted people to change for him. I don't want people to change for me. I do want to know that the people in my life are good, trust worthy, etc. If they prove otherwise too often and it's obvious their intention is toxic then I let them go. Everyone has good and bad. Malicious is a destructive sort of bad, though. Someone asked me after I left the ex if I would go back to him if he promised to do everything I wanted and changed who he was. I said no. I don't want him miserable for having to be someone he's not any more than I want to be forced to change for another. It's not our place to change people out of force. Doesn't mean we should endlessly suffer malicious treatment, though.
Posted by PhoenixRisingPosted by MoonArtistPosted by shellshocker
Let me get this right...
You made a comment on his fb that you described as "childish & catty." You discussed it, you admitted that your comment was not appropriate.
And in response to this... YOU REMOVE HIM AS A FRIEND. You even say.. he didn't like that.
Don't you think you're response to getting called out was even more passive aggressive and childish than the first offence? I don't know if I'd feel comfortable telling you my true feelings either, if the result is being de-friended on facebook.
He was mad about my comment and I owned it and made it right. I asked him what we could do to keep that sort of thing being an issue in the future and he said he didn't know. I suggested (not for the first time) that he remove me from his friend list and he said no. I then told him that it wasn't fair to me to take the brunt of his anger when a simple solution sat there in front of us and it wasn't being used. He still wouldn't offer a solution and was still mad about the comment so I told him, all while choking back some tears and not really succeeding that what I was doing wasn't mean to hurt him and that I didn't like doing it but....
You keep stating this and the thing I think you are missing is I don't think you made things as right as you may believe. You then proceeded to dictate how to "make it right" and he was not hearing it and finally (passively) shut it down. I think you may be taking your knowledge of how this Scorp will act/feels for granted. I wanted to read through the thread before responding and it has been hinted at here and there, and you keep responding the same way....Anyway, if your suspicions are right that he's giving you the silent treatment---Scorp don't do that if "it's all good" in Water World, so make your way back to the beginning where you "made things right"--chances are you did not. If he is taking time off as he said and you are reacting this strongly---again go back to the beginning (e.g. where you flipped out on the man over his fb status). You don't get to dictate when someone should be over something even when you think "you made it right".click to expand
I've had a co
I've had a couple of close friends who know us both point that out. I see it. We've been texting and I'm making more mending of the fences on my end. Looking deeper I can see that there's some old triggers from the ex that popped up. Obviously that isn't all healed. I clarified some of that so he hopefully knows what was going on emotionally. Untangling my thought processes usually takes me a couple of days as each tangle of the mess I get to brings a new "ah ha" or "doh" moment to focus on and deal with.
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