Meeting my GF after a month apart and it was disappointing

Hey, help I need advice.

Hadn’t seen my girlfriend in a month because she was on vacation and I’m a bit disappointed when we met.

We’d spent a week together but she had to stay to do paperwork and I had to go to work. We’d been keeping touch over video calls each day, and we planned a restaurant and theatre for when she was back. I drove to London to pick her up from the airport, I booked a nice hotel, she chose the restaurant and I booked that, and theatre tickets (total around $ 800). I picked her up in the morning and had to drive 5hrs overnight, in bad traffic, made it there in time but was tired. She had to do the same and then get a flight, so she was tired. She didn’t seem mega happy to see me, just a little bit, but I thought she was tired, and I was. I just expected more, because she was saying she missed me.

We drove to the hotel, had breakfast, and then she wanted sex, but I was tired, and we didn’t really end up having sex, we just slept for like 30mins quickly. Maybe she thought something was wrong, I don’t know.



She then went to see her friend who was going through a divorce, this was as planned, and I didn’t have a problem with it. I went to see my friend so I had something to do. Then I went to restaurant where we were meant to meet. She was an hour late, she called and said she’d fallen asleep. So I was at the bar at this pretentious restaurant with $ 30 drinks, didn’t like it, for an hour waiting. We ordered, and the food came but we didn’t have much time to talk, just ate what we could. Had to leave most of it. Rushed to theatre, missed the first 20mins of the theatre. Then we found a good bar, this was really good. Then back to hotel, but no sex, I wanted to, but she didn’t, as she was tired. Then. The next day, she said she had to get back to see her friend who was leaving town… this is the part I’m unhappy about, so we had breakfast and traffic was bad, drove home for about 6hrs. She then wanted my to drive her to the grocery store, and back, did that. I left her and I went home. She messaged me late that night saying she was with her friend drinking, and that I should come out. But she said only if I could find a friend, as I would be a third wheel otherwise. I said it’s late, work tomorrow, and my friends are asleep. So she said we would do something later in the week, and she said she would stay over at mine.

I don’t know if I was tired, but I felt like I really wasn’t a priority? She was more interested in her friends. I’d spent so much money, and driven all over. And the other bad thing, she’d hadn’t been going into work, and I thought we were a team, so she needed money and I was sending her it, she bought clothes, shoes, makeup and stuff, whilst she was away. And she messaged me the night before coming back, saying she needed money for transport. So I sent it her. But, whilst driving back from London to home, she bought shoes online in the car. By the time I’d dropped her off at her place, and got back home, she’d messaged me saying she needs more money cos she’d just bought those shoes and needed money to see her friend. And I kinda just felt insulted.

I’ve told two people of my friends, one said she’s taking advantage, and the other said she was just tired. But I don’t know, she wasn’t too tired to go out when we were back, just too tired for me? And I think she should have messaged me this morning, but she hasn’t. I just thought we’d be together! We had such a good time on vacation. I don’t know if I’ve read the situation right or not. Everything maybe in London, I can say because we were tired, but why she had to go out with her friend instead of me the night after that, I’m just a bit upset I guess, no message this morning either, at least that would be something. And the conversations were bad, like we used to talk about going on vacation in August, but now she’s saying she hasn’t been paying her tax and needs to work in August because she’s just had 5 weeks off, but why is this new info? I dunno, just disappointed and not sure what to do now? Wait and see if she contacts me?

(Sorry for the long question)

Is this really your girlfriend, or are you her driver and cash cow? Now sure what you are getting out of this "relationship". If you don't like the arrangement, get out of it fast, otherwise your self esteem and finances will suffer.

Posted by Pervert

She fucked another dude on her vacation.

Posted by Ariqua

There’s several different issues.

First the sex. She did try to have sex with you-you were tired. You tried, she was tired. That’s a wash.

The money thing-is you funding the relationship new? She seems comfortable enough to ask you for money that I can only assume you’ve been giving her money for a while. Why are you just now upset about it?

Is there a significant age gap?

click to expand

maybe because no sex? and he's wasting his money and time.



OP, u are allowing this. cause no one twisted your arm.

I would leave this alone. Sounds like she’s shady.

Posted by Ariqua

Posted by lisabethur8

Posted by Pervert

She fucked another dude on her vacation.

Posted by Ariqua

There’s several different issues.

First the sex. She did try to have sex with you-you were tired. You tried, she was tired. That’s a wash.

The money thing-is you funding the relationship new? She seems comfortable enough to ask you for money that I can only assume you’ve been giving her money for a while. Why are you just now upset about it?

Is there a significant age gap?

maybe because no sex? and he's wasting his money and time.



OP, u are allowing this. cause no one twisted your arm.

But she tried to have sex with him and he was tired.

click to expand

yeah i read that:



"We drove to the hotel, had breakfast, and then she wanted sex, but I was tired, and we didn’t really end up having sex, we just slept for like 30mins quickly. Maybe she thought something was wrong, I don’t know."



she was horny. and he was NOT delivering. but she could have given him more chances after that.

maybe she thought that he didnt find her sexually appealing to get it hard.

so she got upset and felt bad and hated him for it? Who knows.....

Well if I haven’t seen you in a month and we are in a hotel and you don’t want to have sex with me I would be upset about it and feel like you don’t care. Tired or not.

So maybe it was her being disappointed with you.

The money issue in my opinion it’s bad. But if you are happy giving her your money it’s really up to you. From outside it looks like she is using you but it is you that knows the whole history.

Posted by FantamRooster

Posted by Ariqua

Posted by lisabethur8

Posted by Pervert

She fucked another dude on her vacation.

Posted by Ariqua

There’s several different issues.

First the sex. She did try to have sex with you-you were tired. You tried, she was tired. That’s a wash.

The money thing-is you funding the relationship new? She seems comfortable enough to ask you for money that I can only assume you’ve been giving her money for a while. Why are you just now upset about it?

Is there a significant age gap?

maybe because no sex? and he's wasting his money and time.



OP, u are allowing this. cause no one twisted your arm.

But she tried to have sex with him and he was tired.

Do you think she spent the rest of the trip punishing him for that? I can see that too, although that would also be a red flag to me.

click to expand

some men like pain and suffering though. 😕

red flags everywhere but some men dont care....





this mark anthony guy.....wrote this quote. and things went bad for him but he still dont care...

Posted by FantamRooster

Posted by lisabethur8

Posted by FantamRooster

Posted by Ariqua

Posted by lisabethur8

Posted by Pervert

She fucked another dude on her vacation.

Posted by Ariqua

There’s several different issues.

First the sex. She did try to have sex with you-you were tired. You tried, she was tired. That’s a wash.

The money thing-is you funding the relationship new? She seems comfortable enough to ask you for money that I can only assume you’ve been giving her money for a while. Why are you just now upset about it?

Is there a significant age gap?

maybe because no sex? and he's wasting his money and time.



OP, u are allowing this. cause no one twisted your arm.

But she tried to have sex with him and he was tired.

Do you think she spent the rest of the trip punishing him for that? I can see that too, although that would also be a red flag to me.

some men like pain and suffering though. 😕

red flags everywhere but some men dont care....

Well, I don't think that applies here, since he's here asking and complaining. It obviously bothers him.

click to expand

venting. lol

The sex was really good before the break apart, I had no issues there, maybe it was just sex based. And I think things probably got out of hand with the money. Like when it started. She asked me to go to the wedding with her pretty early on. She made it out like I would pay for my flight, and not hers, but it changed to buying her flight, then buying her dress for the wedding, then makeup, then hair. Then when we were out there, I ended up paying in all the restaurants etc. I rented a car out there, which I would do anyway. Then it kind of just turned into her messaging me saying she'd run out of money when she felt like it. Maybe she slept with someone else and then just thought I'll take money of this guy. I don't know. I can't decide what was fake/real now. Like she asked me to be godfather with her to her friends baby which seemed too much. But she definitely didn't miss me like she said. The other thing is. I told her I knew I'd be tired so I'd taken Monday off work, and I asked her what she was doing, she wasn't that interested. I just think it's over. I feel like I've been punched, breakups are hard anyway, but I think I just need to move on. If she does actually message me, which I think she will, I want to confront her about it in person, I'll ask her round. I want to see her tone first and how long it takes for her to message me. But now I just do feel like I was used for money, because she couldn't have gone to her friends wedding without me, and now my head is thinking the whole thing is fake and wondering if someone would actually do that.

We still had sex when we met, I was just tired and I hadn't seen her. She came and then I did, but it only lasted 15 mins maybe 20. Not the usual hour or so, and I think it was mainly because we hadn't had a glass of wine or snuggled on the sofa like usual. After the bar and we got back, I was ready but she wasn't. When I said I'm sorry I went too soon, she said it was fine cos we hadn't seen each other in a month.

I know, it's when I thought we were a team, I started being ok with the money. Like we were in the wedding photos with her friends together and met her family. Then just disappointed that it felt like a step back when she came back home.

I think you deserve some one better for sure.

No spark and this sounds way too early for no spark.

Naw