scorpio can't break down defenses

wondering if any other scorpios out there have been hurt in such a way that they avoid commitment obsessively? i can't seem to commit myself to anyone anymore, very indecisive and basically afraid to dedicate myself to anyone. very unlike me, very un-scorpio? any other scorps out there who have withdrawn so much that all they do is work in defensive-mode?

Think itz a good idea being defensive. Takes away some real sentiment and solace , but gives U a feeling of invincibility. And these emotions will anyways leave the landscape barren.

Ideally, dedication to the needs and causes of human beings is better than pure dedication to the idiots themselves.

Never been hurt...not that I know of anyways..but apprehensive about commitment..not afraid of it..just think theres far more to accomplish and get out of your system before one decides to commit...

Gaurav: "Ideally, dedication to the needs and causes of human beings is better than pure dedication to the idiots themselves."

LOL..Blimey!

Where is he these days?!

Some people just need someone around, whilst others are just in fine with their own company..I actually feel sorry for people who constantly need someone around them..must be tragic being so needy

just fine*

Hey Bling....where are you these days? Whats happening about Australia? Still going?

Exactly...when one is feeling low...there are friends who can be called upon...actually real friends know when you are feeling low and come to you...somehow, even when a scorpio is feeling down they would rather cocoon themselves then ask anyone for sympathy or attention...

Bling just go for it...you can teach yourself out there...Lifes too short man, just pack your bags and go...feel like doing the same thing!...seriously...need a sabatical...have had it up to here with this country and work!

LOL..yes I don't have the time for lost causes...weak!

Ah to just get on a plane and fly off somewhere distant.....

Weak...as in him..not you!...Defo good decision making on your part..Lost causes are just pathetic and need a good slapping..even a slap is wasted on them at times..why help those who are not willing to help themselves..

"i mean how exactly do you help someone that refuses to listen?"

Refuse to help!...tee hee heee..

Anyways..I need a fag!..Grrrr...I don't want to go to the shops..

I have....its hard...Grrrrrrrrr...I've been to the door 3 times now...refuse to give in...but the urge keeps getting me out of the seat!...fuckin fags...

ok just been to the shops!..and theres me bleating on about being weak!...

LOL @ your nana...bless...

now I feel pathetic..waaaaaaaah...curse the fags!!!!!

I think most people go through this after their first real heartbreak. The walls go up because the feeling of pain is so real and fresh that the last thing one wants is to have to feel that way again. Knowing that it was someone else who was able to cause that kind of intensity in feeling, both good and bad can be really intimidating. It leaves people feeling powerless.

Some people handle it differently. After my first real heartbreak it came out a bit differently. I wasn't afraid of commitment, but in the relationships I did have for a great time afterwards I was very emotionally guarded and did not open up to the other person. Even to the point of letting the other person fall in love with me knowing I would not be able to reciprocate that. I would tell myself things like "In time I will come around" but in the end I was just not in a place I could return that kind of openness and vulnerability. Once I cought on to this I started getting into FWB situations for either extended periods of time or even one night stands. I was even in a FWB relationship where I was seeing the other person just like we were actually together for about 5 months but never talked about exclusivity or "taking the next step". I was content to show up after work and spend the night with her. I did really like her but was not in a place where I wanted to air the emotions so to speak. I would go through intense periods of promiscuity followed by celebacy as well.

Eventually, I was able to see the beauty and bennifit in being in love again over the situations I was instead seeking out and putting myself in. It changes. Walls are great at protecting you, but it is lonely behind them as well. I think everyone has an inherant need and desire to have a connection with another so eventually we muster the courage to give it a go thinking that feeling love again weather or not it works out is worth the potential risk involved.

The feeling that being emotionally guarded and closed off feels strong because people can't hurt or damage what they don't know is there. It is a reactionary tactic though....meaning it existed based on someone elses actions or initiative. The irony is that it is actually weakness...the lack of courage and conviction to say "This is who I am, what I want and how I feel" and once that is realized it seems non sensical to keep the walls up and truely strong to be open and give love a try.

But thats just me....and I am a Libra.

Thers a question on who wants to be a millionnaire
what was the middle name of the US preseident Dwight E. Eisenhower..what the blazes...thats German name!..how is he a US president?!..

::fags have had an adverse effect on ze brain::

I love that avatar...its great bling!

Bling,what is the capital of Brazil?

thanks everyone for your responses and/or advice! 🙂

"I knew it wasn't Sao Paolo,so I googled it"

I thought you gonna say Rio De Janiro like everyone does when i ask them..but you shouldn`t search for the answer,you cheated..
it`s similiar to the capital of Australia,everyone says Sydney.

I've been hurt and used by almost all I have been with. I take breaks til the next one gets my attention. I always promise myself I won't date again but I really want to find a good woman to be with.

I only get defensive if someone is trying to be with me that I do NOT like.

I just normally want to know where I stand right off the bat. I watch/analyze forever and then finally give in to self and try to get the person's attention.