Scorpio Women (Page 2)

its 😛

I respect that you pulled something out of me. Touche!

It's hard to SEE that in her. Everybody tells me it's there, but I'm either blind or don't want to see it. There are so many good qualities about her and our family that I miss, but I suppose through a perspective eye that it seems crazy for me to be hung up on this girl.

All I know is that people have a purpose in life. One of her purposes was to bring me my children. Maybe the other was to force me to change. Nobody has EVER had this kind of an impact on my life, and forced me to realize that I too have fucked up tendencies like everyone else.

Rar! How do you handle a situation in which you can never find vindication?

What do you mean by moon in virgo rearing psychotic head? Care to elaborate?

I mean - she was with the dude for two years and came back to me after a period of reflection. Whether it was a true change of character or a move of necessity I will never know.

I'm a punching bag and I"ll take the blame gladly - gotta fix that, I'm sure.

So now that more facts are out - WTF do I do?

moon, in laymen, how you express emotions. virgo doesn't express emo. they hide, conceal, push down, deny, pretend they don't have them...etc

her moon in gemini isn't as "bad" as your moon in virgo. she clearly wanted to pull something out of you and when she got it, it was a shit storm.

you TWO, when paired, have difficultly displaying your emotions in a constructive and positive way and by virtue of that, you displayed your intensity and emotion negatively...mars. i think that the intensity of feeling can be appealing for scorpio, but it's also destructive.

so at this point, i will side-step myself because i think it's up to some of the scorps to delve deeper and IF they go off track, like they did initially, i will reign them in. as their superior sign, i can help them help you 😉

Thanks buddy 🙂

notice how quiet they got. gotta keep these bitches in check ya know...and you DO know 🙂

this may be helpful:
http://www.alwaysastrology.com/scorpio-moon.html<BR>
so not to take over your thread, but you need true insight and if you don't get it from the internets, seek it for yourself.

good luck!

ack! wrong link: http://www.alwaysastrology.com/mars-in-scorpio.html<BR>
you can review both your other placements via that site. hopefully you find something that sheds a bit a light.

Thanks. Any other insight is gladly appreciated here.

you've given them depth and therefore they have no insight. thus, the advice you were given before...complete HORSEshit 😢

where are you bitches now?

Probably tired of dealing with my moody ass


Or blown away by the utter scope of mayhem that's taken place in this thread. Pick one 😉

Mooo.

I guess this would be a long thread for somebody to just jump into.

Nothing like that ever happened - it was just a broad example of how I had to fight to get any little thing that I wanted. Of course I'm not gonna throw food out that she cooked for me 🙂. That's just evil!

How can I SHOW that though? If she's not interested and doesn't want to see / talk about it there's really not shit I can do. Aside from drive over there and be a creep. Which I'm not going to do.

I think the actual example I listed clarifies my point better than the made up one. I should have just been direct and to the point.

I really don't have a problem with giving up things that I like to do for me. Knew that when I decided to have kids. I think you understand what I'm saying here - and I definitely understand your point of view.

Seems like the best course of action would be to remedy the things that need fixed about myself, for myself, permanently. Hope that through how I interact w/ her about the kids and stuff like that she can see the positivity in me and remember why she fell in love with me to begin with?

Should I just cut all contact w/ her unless it's with my kids? It's hard. She was an everyday part of my life - I miss her. I just want to f'ing talk to her about everything. Which is more effective? A kind word every day - with no negativity if I don't get a response, or complete detachment?

Sorry you were hurt too. Yeah, I don't know what to do, TBH.

I would love to know the perfect thing to say or do to make the stars align and shit, but I guess that doesn't exist in the real world. :-/

I haven't talked to her since then. I'm just trying to find some link-minded friends, but living in a college town being a Sober Christian makes the pool somewhat limited to pull from.

I guess you're right - when it really does happen, she'll notice.

That's really good advice. I should look into each aspect and try to deal with it individually. Instead of just addressing what somebody else says they don't like about me - I should really learn who I am and what I think needs to change.

Very inspiring.

well, I've always been self sufficient - had tons of friends, used to have piles of drugs, etc. etc. Never really needed to address myself - people come and go.

This one changed me. My kids made it a whole new ball game. I guess it's time to grow up...kinda sucks that sometimes in life you have to suffer in order to grow. Guess that's what it's all about!

That's insightful as well - perhaps she wasn't in a position to be able to give me the emotional security I needed, because our kids were taking too much out of her. Any way to make that up to her now?

I'd like to give a big thanks to all the women, and people in general who were so willing to remember their own pain to help me cope with mine. It is not taken lightly, and genuinely appreciated.

I can. I was always there for the kids - every day. Just not for her.

i changed beyond recognition after having kids. definitely made me less tolerant of their father who didn't work by that stage. i was the breadwinner and homemaker as he nursed his

oooops....he nursed his depression by lounging around all day doing nothing. despite him being at home while i worked, i still had to employ a nanny cos he was so useless back then. i totally lost respect for him and exhausted myself playing all the roles at once.

to me it was all wrong in my mind. I was supposed to be the nurturer and enjoying my kids' development and he should've been the hunter gatherer making sure we were all fed.

to me, it's what a man DOES and if he doesn't.......well. he's not a man imo.

Yes, she's going to school as well - she wants to be a therapist.

We shared the burden of the kids pretty much equally. I would stay out with them being sick from daycare - i'd go to the doctor, or late night hospital with her - we basically did everything 50/50. Or at least, I felt like we did. I bathed them and cleaned up after them, cooked, dishes. Same as she did. You forget, I'm a Cancer - and homelife is something I'm born for. So that's not the issue I don't think.

Number 1. Number 2 sometimes - I really don't feel like I need to micromanage her with the children - she does a wonderful job and I respect her judgement.

It does help. Thank you.

I've taken a new path today. Randomly - whenever I felt like I was missing her, I just texted her and told her how I felt. No follow up text of "can you respond.. or why aren't you answering me?" Nothing like that. Just saying "I miss you today. Hope you had a great day at school - kiss the kids for me and tell them daddy loves them." No response from her, of course. It makes me feel better, however. Rather than try and pretend like I'm not romantically interested in here - and only want to see the kids to put up a face so I don't get hurt, I've just been honest. It really does feel good. I don't feel that negative "obsessing" quality that is usually associated with putting yourself out there for someone. I hope she can see past the bullshit that has happened between us, and understand that I am 100% invested in this family, the emotional / physical health of our children and her happyness. Thanks for the advice R24!

Pisces - I pray every day. Y'know, I thought a long time ago that I should have left her with the other guy - and just seen my son whenever it happened.

This is a shit storm. And thank you for telling me that my feelings were justified. I may have handled them inappropriately, but I think anyone put into that situation would feel the same.

I really try to do what's right man - I try so hard to be a good person, it just seems like at every turn I get FUCKED. Granted, a lot of it is my responsibility, and if I would have just kept my mouth shut and been a door mat - I'd still have the girl and my kids.

Then again, that's no way to live. Maybe if I could have toned down my shit a little bit, and still sought vindication - things could have been different. Honestly, what I SHOULD have done - was have the foresight to get us into some relationship counseling and seek a strong Church. This is an issue that I tried to solve and handle myself, and in the end I got fucked. We needed outside help, and I guess I was too wrapped up to see that.

Thanks bro - I feel you. 100% .

Posted by piscespassion
My best advice I can give you Zoso is this and some other people have mention it also....

Focus on "YOU" and your kids...
Get your glow back! Find you a new female friend you like.

No more texts to your ex about how u miss her. NO! Silence is the best policy here.
Your ex has her own demons she is dealing with. Give her time and space.

By you continuing to send love messages, what u are telling her is that u love her
just the way she is and she did nothing wrong and it was all u. That's a complete lie.

If u did get her back now with her not changing anything, only you, it would be even worse!
Give her time to realize her mistakes in all this. She has far more mistakes in this situation
Than u do... you are only think about you, her, and the kids.

She is also thinking about her her ex-husband. She has a lot of demons besides u.

Its way bigger than u.

Finding you a nice woman will help open your eyes... cause now they are shut.
The Virgal may be perfect for this. Don't try to take on all this by yourself.

Talk to the Virgal as a friend and let her in to help u.

That's what I was getting at with the Virgo chick!!!! yes, you understand. It's hard to believe that she's struggling like I am cause the chick doesn't SHOW it.

I guess I should just trust. I'll be honest it is SO hard to NOT tell her I love her. Yes, you're right - I don't love the way she was acting, and she does have shit she needs to change just like I do.

You guys are so fucking insightful - thanks to everyone. It's a struggle every day to not want to text her. I just enjoy being around her, ya know? Maybe I"ll change her name to "DO NOT TEXT" in my phone, if the general consensus is that the best policy is silence.

Another thing - her biggest complaint was that she never felt like I loved her. I was mean to her and had the general look in my eye of "hating" her.

While that's obviously not true - maybe I was going through so much inner conflict about issues I desperately needed resolved - I COULDNT be nice to her. Yeah - maybe that's a copout, who the fuck knows - trying to reason.

Posted by R24

Posted by zosopage17
if I would have just kept my mouth shut and been a door mat - I'd still have the girl and my kids.

Then again, that's no way to live. Maybe if I could have toned down my shit a little bit, and still sought vindication - things could have been different. Honestly, what I SHOULD have done - was have the foresight to get us into some relationship counseling and seek a strong Church. This is an issue that I tried to solve and handle myself, and in the end I got fucked. We needed outside help, and I guess I was too wrapped up to see that.

Don't be a doormat. We want a man that we can respect, not run over. Its also hard to respect a man that wants us to attend to every emotional discomfort he has (playing mommy)

Vindication is not what should be the priority here. So what if you "win" an argument? What have you won? The prizes are a smug feeling from the one up-manship which is fleeting. Then you are left with general ill feelings towards one another. And do you want your wife to feel like a "loser?" If you need to win, somebody has to lose. This tit for tat cycle has to be broken. Youre supposed to be partners not adversaries

click to expand

You're 100% right. I have absolutely nothing to add because you articulated the truth.

Wow. Yes. You do understand. It's unlike anything I've ever felt before in my life. I do know this is a great time for personal reflection - I can only hope that she's learning the same things I am learning.

It makes me feel not so alone to know that you have felt EXACTLY what I feel. Moving on is such a generic term, however. I HAVE to be in contact with this woman - at some level - because of my kids. I do think that I'm caught in a dizzying haze of emotions atm, and it's probably best to step back from that and look at things. THe fear of "what if I back off and she starts fucking" is always going to be there, though. I try to fill my time with worship, music, movies, school etc... but that's a void that's not filled lightly. Especially with not having my kids around. I guess time heals all wounds, and grants peace. Fuck time. I'm impatient 🙂

Thanks for your help.

....

Posted by Ellybean


Once upon a time, I thought I'd NEVER recover from the loss/heartache of my ex. NEVER. Swore up and down I'd never find a bond/love equal to or greater than that. And dayum how flat wrong and ignorant I was saying that then. Anything is possible.

^that's the mentality of a fixed sign, not a mutable. sure, he feels stuck right now, but his stuck isn't a fixed sign's stuck. hell, he was considering dating someone 4 months after the breakup. a fixed sign laments for...years?

point is, i dont think he necessarily needs help shifting mindset, but rather, self-reflection. that's pretty much why i wanted him to give details and do more self-examination. when you're in the midst of shit, all you see and smell is the other person's shit. you may get, in theory, where you went wrong, but you may not truly grasp how you contributed to the pile of poo.

what is hopeful about his situation is the fact that he's starting to identify the role of mars in aries. the fact that in the course of an argument, mars in aries is listening intently...not to understand, but to rip apart. mars in aries can spot a loophole quicker than most. there is an inherent love of what mars in aries perceives to be a debate, but what others interpret as fervent arguing.

he needs to learn to stand his ground, to argue his point, to do so with passion and intensity that may never truly wane, but to also learn to "agree to disagree." to walk away knowing that the other person is a complete dipshit, but to not lower oneself as a result.

cont...

I want my family back. I want to fix the shit that made them leave in the first place, so that I can find happyness in the day to day life with her - and not be so pissed off about the little shit that doesn't matter. I have faith in our family - and I believe in us. We are more than what we were - and I want an opportunity to be in the right place, at the right time - with a healthy frame of mind to make that happen.

what is hopeful about his situation is the fact that he's starting to identify the role of mars in aries. the fact that in the course of an argument, mars in aries is listening intently...not to understand, but to rip apart. mars in aries can spot a loophole quicker than most. there is an inherent love of what mars in aries perceives to be a debate, but what others interpret as fervent arguing.


THIS ^^^^^^^^^^

I was constantly told I just want to argue, but in my mind it was just a heated discussion or debate.

So do I.

i have NO doubts that the scorp chick was a controlling, manipulative, sneaky ass bitch. he hasn't stated her age, cause he's withholding like that, but assuming she's a young scorpio, she suffers as a result of age too. she may have yet to learn how to positively use her placements as well so when the two come together, the record of conflict inevitably plays.

to the OP, part of changing the dynamic is recognizing the catalyst. each argument may seem unique, but guaranteed, there is a common thread that can be found in each encounter. if you focus on the argument and disregard the trend, you won't get it. you won't be able to articulate it and you won't be able to assure your ex that you recognize where you need to change.

what i've personally found is that when one does finally get it, the other person may not be in the same place. they have the record dusted off and ready to play. this is when you show your growth. you don't engage in the manner in which you have in the past. eventually, the arguments subside and what initially brought you two together becomes more readily apparent to both of you. thus, you not only elevate yourself, but you elevate those around you. isn't that what a MAN is supposed to do after all?

i think that once you're able to learn this lesson about yourself...at this phase in your life (there will be more lessons to come), one of two things will happen: either she will grow with you or she will stay in a rut. if she remains in a bad place, you'll be amazed at how freeing this will be. you will have recognized that although you love her, although you recognize her potential, she's not where you are and by virtue of that, you can't go back and have no desire to do so.

so given she left, i have to wonder if she's the one whose reached a higher state? as i said, fixed signs don't leave until their partner has forced their hand. a fixed sign that changes, has changed. maybe you have yet to recognize it?

Posted by zosopage17
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I was constantly told I just want to argue, but in my mind it was just a heated discussion or debate.

and there it is!

it's that Mars dude. i'm serious.

even on this stupid site, people think that i'm foaming at the mouth when in reality, if they were to truly picture where i am, i'm sucking a lollipop and jumping rope.

you don't get how you come across and even if you get it, in the moment, you don't care. you're not THAT angry and LOL at them for seeing it that way...especially when they're wrong.

so as i said, you gotta connect with the "trend," once you do, i guarantee the arguments will stop. it will be such a quick turnaround that you'll want to smack yourself.

She's 22.

ok, she's stupid. i'm telling you that she's stupid. in 5-7 years, she'll be less stupid. right now, she's a young scorp and these chicks are DANGEROUS. they think they have a dick. the will eat you alive if you let them. if you don't let them, they will manipulate the shit out of you to the point that you'll wonder if you ever will "win."

she WILL grow. if you believe that, you two have a future. if you believe that, you need to grow yourself. if not, give up on the idea of a family with her and suffer the resentment (on both parts) that will exist forever...at least for her.

I mean...okay.

I can't really change her resentment for me. I think I just need to leave this whole fucking thing alone for a while - it's working me.

well then leave it alone. you're the one who created this thread yeah?

you're asking HOW to get your woman and family back. we're telling you how. we're telling you that YOU need to grow and while doing so, we're telling you that your PERSONAL growth ain't got shit to do with her.

have you not recognized the win-win?

Of course I have. I know that this is a period of me - as me - without anyone - only me. I have to actively repress the worry and the doubt, in order to make that happen.

Faith and trust is basically what it boils down to. And even if it doesn't work - I'll be a better person on the other end. I get this. Hard path to walk - but plausible.

oh and wait, i didn't catch that.

you CAN change her resentment for you. women, especially fixed sign women, hate to admit they were wrong.

she left her ex to be with you because she believed in you. the fact that she kept going back to him is a sign that she wondered if she believed in the wrong person. for fixed signs, we believe that all of our choices are "right." that's why change is hard to come. if we *think* we're right, the current status can't be "wrong." so we stay...we endure...and the scorpios secretly plot. that's why he remained in the picture. he was the "plot."

if you doubt that she still believes in you, you're wrong. she doesn't want to be "wrong." whether she expresses it or not, i THINK she still sees your potential. that's why she answers you when your inquiries are about the kids. if she were through and through a piece of shit, you'd get silence across the board.

*if she thought that you were through and through...

She still believes in me. Jesus. Touch a crab's heart why don't you!