Scorpios- Loneliness and depression.

So my cousin is a Scorpio, we used to be very close when we were younger as I was pretty much brought up with her. We don't live in the same country anymore so we're not in contact that often, but I love her to bits. I'm a little worried about her though, she's always been extremely shy, ever since she was a kid... But now she just seems so lonely. She's never had a boyfriend, I'm not even sure she's been with a guy, she's 22 years old. She doesn't have any friends except her work colleagues. I went to stay with her for a week recently, she didn't seem very happy to see me to be honest, she doesn't really do greetings or goodbyes, I think maybe it makes her uncomfortable. She's completely unwilling to make conversation and sometimes it's quite rude, when I asked her a question or said hi to her in the morning she would completely blank me. Then all of a sudden she'd wake up one morning and be so cheerful and want to spend the day with me, so we'd go out and have a lovely morning, and then it was like she'd slowly just sink back in to her ways, like she was unhappy being there.

It makes me very sad to see her like that. Do you think maybe she has some form of depression? Do you think this could have something to do with her chart? She has a lot of water, she has Scorpio sun, moon, pluto and mercury, she also has Cancer mars.

lol wow I have Scorp/Sag sun, Scorpio moon, mercury, pluto and Cancer mars and I can relate to most of what you say about her. I'm also the same age as her but had boyfriends in the past although they required a lot of effort and patience on their part and emotional sacrifice on mine. I luckily have a couple of friends I have grown attached to thanks to the internet but everyone else I have lost contact with over time.

Greetings and goodbyes also make me uncomfortable as well as hugs and physical affection and I need time to think before conversing easily, it's odd and I think she knows it and may be self-conscious about it.

Has she ever expressed unhappiness or trips to the therapists? I'm thinking maybe it's just her resting face? I know I look upset and angry when I'm just overthinking about random things. I was depressed a few years ago and only the people who asked about it and that I trusted knew of it. If she trusts you and you're not a gossip machine and have some emotional depth in you, she'll tell you.

We don't need a lot of human contact, it's emotionally straining because we unknowingly and instantly look for intense connection in all our relationships and if we're sensing that someone isn't up to our "standard", it's hard to make us change our views on people, usually our instincts are right.
I know it's personally hard for me to spend an entire day with people without me going moody, I wish it was different but I've personally always had issues with speaking up and belonging to a group.

Have you ever sat down and had a chat about things like that? If you do, try to keep a light tone and slowly get into the depth of things. If someone is being too invasive, I mentally back off and become all evasive.
Do you know her rising?

She never mentions anything. I don't want to pry in to her life, y'know? I feel like asking her questions would make her feel uncomfortable like you said and as much as I'd love to be there for her, I don't want to push her away because we have very little contact anyway.

I don't know her rising unfortunately. Something that makes her particularly awkward and shy.

Sometimes when she's in a good mood she will tell me things, but they're never really that personal. She told me something a while back that was quite serious but she said it as if it wasn't serious at all, it wasn't until i told her, then she realised that it was actually quite serious. Then I never heard about it again... i asked her but she kind of shrugged it off. Maybe she thought I stepped out of line?

I want to be able to help her because she always looked up to me when we were younger, she followed me everywhere and just copied everything I did... She was always so shy around people, she used to hide behind me all the time and I'd always take the fall for something that she did when we were getting in trouble because she was always so scared of being shouted at, she was so cute haha. We seem to have lost our bond though.

Posted by kalin
I do think Scorpios can easily fall into depression. There were a few times in my life I was extremely depressed. The first time was when I broke up with my first guy. I was depressed for 2 years. The second time was when I realized my Leo ex was cheating on me.

I think exercise helps. At least it has been helping me a lot and given me more energy. Maybe you guys can make plans to go workout together regularly?

I agree, exercise does really help. I get moments where i feel extremely lonely and depressed over various things in life that's built up over time. I have my family around me and still feel alone. I don't have any real friends any more due to issues in the past, i cut them off out of my life. never had a bf and the whole dating and getting to know guys haven't been the best. The best way is to focus on something that can distract your mind.

I agree, ask her if she has a hobby or something. Maybe approach it by talking about you first. She seems really scared to be judged for who she is inside, so act upon what she's showing so far, little as it may be.

How does she react when she meets new people?

I can be in a crowded room full of family and feel so alone !

I thought it was just me, I feel comforted that it isn't just some madness I my own mind, I've never really discussed this with anyone.

I've felt aloneness whole life I remember feeling this in childhood too, I'm very shy do t get me wrong I could direct an army if need be but I'm very much in my own mind. I never feel I'm in the place where I stand I feel a prisoner in my own head.

She has recently joined the gym and started swimming. She is very over weight so exercise can be quite hard for her. You see I would have thought a lot of her insecurity comes from that, yet she jokes about her weight and doesn't seem to be too bothered, unless of course this is just a mask, which is possible.

I'm constantly moving around so it's hard for me to see her. She's always been very close with my mother, they share the same birthday and have quite a few of the same placements I think. I might be able to speak to my mother, maybe she can help.

Posted by Tinxy
I can be in a crowded room full of family and feel so alone !

I thought it was just me, I feel comforted that it isn't just some madness I my own mind, I've never really discussed this with anyone.

I've felt aloneness whole life I remember feeling this in childhood too, I'm very shy do t get me wrong I could direct an army if need be but I'm very much in my own mind. I never feel I'm in the place where I stand I feel a prisoner in my own head.

Have you ever considered depression as the cause?

Posted by Taniwha
Talk to her, on the phone or in person. Visit her more and do things with her that she likes or might like, Get her to try new things. Build that bond back up. Tell her that you wan't to build that bond again that will mean everything to her. Good on you for taking notice and really wanting to do something about it, Good luck.

I have mars in cancer as well, we are a pretty shy bunch but we love a challenge and are more than capable of getting out of our shell. Once we get going we are unstoppable. Mars in Cancer is the werewolf of the zodiac, Which would explain how at random times she gets really excited and upbeat, Only to return to her shell just as fast as she left it.

You're right!! she totally surprised me one of the days... I asked her to do something with me, she told me that she hadn't been to a theme park since she was a kid and she really wanted to go. I'm a big kid so I was on board straight away. I was so surprised how fearless she was of all the rides!! There was two she didn't want to go on but I pushed her a little bit and she did it no bother. She was so excitable, and had such a good time.

But then through out the day she got quiet and we had to go home. :/

Posted by Tinxy
I can be in a crowded room full of family and feel so alone !

I thought it was just me, I feel comforted that it isn't just some madness I my own mind, I've never really discussed this with anyone.

I've felt aloneness whole life I remember feeling this in childhood too, I'm very shy do t get me wrong I could direct an army if need be but I'm very much in my own mind. I never feel I'm in the place where I stand I feel a prisoner in my own head.

Im the same too. I can be in a busy crowd of people eg around family or at a club and something can just randomly trigger it off and i'll feel alone. The odd thing is im a very bubbly jolly person around people im comfortable with.. i can joke around and be full of energy but once i'm alone the mind just wonders. Even growing up i've always felt alone. i have 2 younger sisters who are very close.. i feel like i just dont fit in.

I feel that we need distractions (hobbies, focus on career etc) or people in our lives that bring out the best in us friends or a partner that really understands us well.

I can relate to all of this as well... My chart (in case some have not seen from previous posts of mine):
Sun/Merc/Venus/Pluto: Scorpio
Mars/North node: Sag
Jupiter/Ascendant: Libra
Saturn: Aqua
Uranus/Neptune: Cap
Lilith: Aries

For me, with my Libra placements, I hide my sadness. Maybe for your cousin her other placements allow her to outwardly show her sadness. Mine, like hers, comes in spurts. It could be a fantastic day and all of a sudden I realize how alone I am. I'm 21 and have had only one long-term destructive relationship w a Virgo. Sometimes my dark thoughts stem like this: "I am so alone and no one understands me" or "love is not for me, because no one can love someone they don't understand" then from there I keep feeding on these thoughts which delve deeper into my loneliness and suck the life from me. Self-pity I suppose. Very, very unhealthy. To avoid this, I try to write, sing, play violin (been playing since I was 4), guitar etc. It's a way to express myself. Also being a rising Libra I love to be around my friends and be out and about. It gives me life and allows me to forget about my loneliness. It makes me feel electric.

I would never outwardly show how sad I am. My internal motto is: "Smiles are contagious, so I will always smile even if I'm sad so I spread happiness instead of sadness." I've had family members pass and I would still go to work and act happy as to not make others pity me. Later when they found out, they would apologize and ask how I did it. Mind over matter. Just be there for her, and maybe if she is artistic delving deeper into the arts will help her release her sad feelings. Exercise I do agree with above posts also helps. Exercise stimulates the body and mind. Laziness stunts everything. Speaking of which...I need to get back to the gym.

It would seem it's quite common in Scorps then... my mother doesn't get depression as such but she gets extremely stressed to the point of making herself ill. (she's a scorp)

I'm going to write to her tonight and see how she is. I do need to reach out a little more to her, I'm really bad at contacting people. Hopefully she will chat with me.

Thank you for your input guys. ^__^

Posted by Reimei

Posted by Angeleyes17

Posted by Tinxy
I can be in a crowded room full of family and feel so alone !

I thought it was just me, I feel comforted that it isn't just some madness I my own mind, I've never really discussed this with anyone.

I've felt aloneness whole life I remember feeling this in childhood too, I'm very shy do t get me wrong I could direct an army if need be but I'm very much in my own mind. I never feel I'm in the place where I stand I feel a prisoner in my own head.

Im the same too. I can be in a busy crowd of people eg around family or at a club and something can just randomly trigger it off and i'll feel alone. The odd thing is im a very bubbly jolly person around people im comfortable with.. i can joke around and be full of energy but once i'm alone the mind just wonders. Even growing up i've always felt alone. i have 2 younger sisters who are very close.. i feel like i just dont fit in.

I feel that we need distractions (hobbies, focus on career etc) or people in our lives that bring out the best in us friends or a partner that really understands us well.

So true.. Angeleyes17.. My case is exactly the same.. It's like i feel i am two different person.. Few years back i used to think that i am double faced.. But now i have come to realize that i don't manipulate with my feelings.. They all are true.. I guess, its really a scorpion thing..

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I guess it is a scorpion thing. My mum is a Scorpio but she is completely different. Because she has been through soo much negativity in life depression hit her very hard.. she lets out her frustration and anger on me and my sisters verbally and say such harsh words that makes you feel like crap and just burst out crying. when she's calmed down she feels bad and guilty. I think all of us scorpions have different ways of dealing loneliness and depression. Its our surroundings that can change how we can feel