SEX ON THE FIRST DATE

why is it so many hangups about sex on the first date?

Because from the woman's point of view it is not very ladylike. Men are fickle enough as is. So to have sex on the first date is like putting it right out there like "Yeah, I'm horny or easy and I know I will never see/talk to you again so let's do this".

If a woman gives it to you on the first date. What's the purpose of a 2nd date? That's not a way to start a healthy relationship.

yeah i have a friend who falls in love very quickly and will sleep with a man very quickly. Thats why men are in and out of her life. What is a man opinion about sex on the first date...

do you think its just because a person is horny and easy...or maybe sex addiction?

Horny & Easy

Horny and low self esteem...

Or how about just plain insecure.

so what advice would you give a girlfriend that is...well what have i heard here?...hornny, low self esteem, insecure...what advice would you give a person that is in this situation? What would a real friend say without hurting a persons feelings or being extra judgemental? Because this is my friend and she has been hurt enough.

If the friend has not asked your opinion i would say to mind your own business. Me personally I cannot stand if one of my friends are loose. That says alot about your character in general "birds of a feather flock together" not saying that you're loose Dward but do you get my point? My mouth doesn't stay shut at things of that nature. I would have said something a long time ago. Sensitive or not. It is to much shit out here nowadays to just be "loose" and givin up the ass! Safe Sex or not. All areas are not protected by condoms.

yea karima27 maybe I shouldve said something but she does get offensive at the least little thing you say to her

Sex on the first date —? No way, not on this planet. "Giving the goods" too soon is never a smart thing to do but two each there own.

It is to much shit out here nowadays to just be "loose" and givin up the ass! Safe Sex or not. All areas are not protected by condoms.

Phew!!! This is such a relief! I think I was the only one aware of the statement above 🙂

I agree with Karima. Don't butt in unless she asks for your opinion. I guarantee you that she's already aware her insecurities. She doesn't need someone pointing out the obvious to her. It's like telling a 400-lb midget that he's fat - he already knows it and it adds salt to the wound.

Some people think they're in love after sex. It takes a hard lesson to learn to have a harder shell - that's up to her, not you.

Just continue to be her friend.

yes they do...and living in atlanta i see it everyday...not only that but 3somes and you name it...Makes it difficult for us good 2 shoes to find a man

Hmmm that can be difficult if she is really very sensitive. Have a heart to heart talk. Ask when the last time she has been to the OB/GYN and what tests has she had done. I know i ask my friends. Married ones too! I mean it may seem invasive but if she is having one night stands then she needs to get checked every year. Why is she doing that anyway? It's better to keep your panties up. No man is worth giving up the ass in one night. Puleeze!

That's a thought. You know the commercials they're showing on television about HPV and how it can go undetected. Maybe bring that up to her and tell her that you're telling all of your friends and family whom you love to get tested for it.

While standing in the grocery check-out line, I believe I saw a postcard in either Cosmo or Glamour that you can mail to someone about the new concerns around HPV. HPV is not necessarily an STD; although that's how most are associated.

HP-

HPV is an STD. It starts out as one. Any one sexually active can attract it. Going undetected turns it into cervical cancer. It was in Glamour. I have a magazine subscription to that magazine. I love it.

Dward you live in Atlanta? Oh No! That is the damn capital for "Down Low" brothers. Hell No! Your friend is definitely battling some self esteem issues. Shit with all the stuff you hear about Atlanta. My damn legs would be crazy glued shut with a chastity belt.

Well dward,

I can see where you are coming from, because I see it where I live. Women that are "down for anything" tend to get involved more in relationships and they also get proposed to as well.

Hahahahaha!!! It's also interesting because those kind of relatioships tend to have the most problems. The image may look good from the outside ... but in the inside it's like hell on wheels! I don't envy those women at all because I know what sort of situation I feel confortable with ... so far ... the "Sex, lies, and dollar bills yall" type of life style just isn't my thing. 😛

Shit with all the stuff you hear about Atlanta. My damn legs would be crazy glued shut with a chastity belt.

LOL!!!! Ditto!!!!!!!!!!!! I went to Georgia last week, so I ventured into different parts of Atlanta. LOL, yeah ..... hell would turn blue before I ever let any of those men touch me. Looking at some of them gave me the creeps! LOL

True, there are men who live in that area who aren't "male-whores" but they are far in-between.

girl i can tell you some stories about what these woman put up with down here. I really want to relocate...just dont know right now because I have such a great job. But i tell you relationships are very hard to maintain.

yea these brothers here are a double negative...thats why I am single...lots of professional woman are.

i personally have never nor eva will have sex on any first date coz theres gotta be that ?motional bond between me and my guy before i open my legs for him 😛...

b>

Really? Well I live in a small city but you still have your share of the "slut" mentality. LOL, I was watching something on HBO one day (three years ago actally, back when I could watch television) and they were talking about men having the mindset of "pimps" and women having the mindset of "hookers". What on earth —?

Well, in that case I blame the women because they must spoil the men if they allow them to do whatever they want without boundaries. I mean seriously! LOL, I few men tried to make conversation with me (ME of all people LOL) in Atlanta but I could sense what they were about. Yep, I did my best to get away from them.

Maybe the women there think men are KINGS or something.

they are most definitely not!!! These woman here allow men to get away with murder. One girl I worked with walked in on her husband in THEIR house giving oral sex to another female. Why are they still together!!!! SHE FORGAVE HIM.

SHE FORGAVE HIM.

i know tons of such women.. infact i know 2 men who forgave their unfaithful wives....

some things are unforgiveable

Dward-

Mama...

Marriage is very difficult. She loves her husband. I have a girlfriend who's husband cheated on her and way back when she said she would never tolerate it. But guess what. She did and she is the first one to bring up what she said "prior" to him cheating. It is mos def about love. But Aids is not a joke...it's really not.

SHE FORGAVE HIM!!!!!!

Whoa!!!!!!! Well, two ech there own.

He couldn't be my husband ... in all honesty all don't give a damn how stable a foundation we have built together, I'd leave him in a heartbeat. Yeah the divorce would probably be sticky but atleast I have my diginty. Plus, if he wants most of the material shit, he can have it all!

My sanity is more important.

my point exactly cappysweetie

because if you let him or her get away with it...they'll do it again!! Then your relationship will be missing the most important thing...TRUST

Couldn't agree with you more dward 😉 I think the whole equilbrum of interpersonal relationships will be destroyed when the next generation gets in their twenties.

Hahaha, yes I'm on my soapbox today 😄

Whats wrong with being blunt?Your not her mother and besides even a mother would tell thier slut daughters to close thier freakin legs after so much of hearing thier whining about getting dumped!Kinda like getting a stupid answer to a stupid question,anyone with common sense should expect a stupid answer even if it takes a second to settle in thier head.

Well said Tiamat..

Ok ladies - some of you must have fantasized about being swept off your feet by a handsome, charming, and sweet gentleman.

I am curious ? what would you do if you had this happen to you:

Run in to a funny, handsome and charming man on the ski slopes?you race each other down the hill? tumble in the snow, laughing. Next thing, you are lounging in front of a roaring fire, whispering into each other's ear, laughing at each other's jokes, poloshing off a nice bottle of wine, feeding each other with your finger, while mesmerized by the way the fire-light dances in each other?s eyes.

How many of you ladies would get up from the fire, put on your ski jacket, pop the skis back on and trek in 10 degree below back to being alone in your car or ask him to do the same?

And

How many of you would...?

This should be a duh question...but maybe not...

I don't ski 🙂

Basically what you are asking is if we all say one night stands are unacceptable would the one night stand be acceptable in this situation? Right? Hmmm.

I don't know-Of course you don't want the chemistry to be interrupted but still...the aftermath of the decision. I am too emotional really for one night stands.

DEPENDS...especially after a 3 year drought...LOL

Karima - That's ok if you don?t know how - I can teach you...let's start with the wedge. There's plenty of snow on the bunny slope so it?s ok to tumble. 😉

Most dates are planned, structured, and intentions are fairly easy to read. I understand why you ladies have to be on guard.

In the situation I described, I wasn't thinking of it as a date or as a one-night stand ? although that may be the result. What I was curious to know was whether you will let yourself live in the moment when the situation is fluid and undefined.

Pluto ? I do hope you find someone worth the risk of taking a leap with. You can miss out on some incredible relationships if let the moment pass.

Guys will probably take me out and beat me good for giving up this little secret ? when we find a great connection, we are as affected as the gal. We are just better at putting on a poker face in the morning. 😉

"Run in to a funny, handsome and charming man on the ski slopes?you race each other down the hill? tumble in the snow, laughing. Next thing, you are lounging in front of a roaring fire, whispering into each other's ear, laughing at each other's jokes, poloshing off a nice bottle of wine, feeding each other with your finger, while mesmerized by the way the fire-light dances in each other?s eyes"

My god..I've always wanted to do this. In fact I wanted to spend my honeymoon shacked up in some cosy little chalet in Switzerland on top of the mountains warming up to each other in front of an open log fire..

**sigh**

MM - how would you like to meet in Whistler instead? Tryout some of the new slopes they are building out for the Olympics. 😉 There is a wonderful lodge, with an outdoor hottub...

tazman are you scorpio

Nope - I am a Virgo. I seem to find Scorpios' posts exciting and fun. Not sure why...

me too...im aries and find myself stuck here...i guess its because i have this immediate attraction with scorps

Tazman, get your coat my love, you've pulled!!!!!1

😛

p.s. you think its that easy...race ya to the slopes...run along theres a lad...

lol - got it and racing for the slopes. I hardly know you and you are already talking about honeymooning in the alps?! My goodness. 😄

I don't believe in waste...You'll be singing "the slopes are alive with the sound of music" by the time I've finished with you chook

;P 😛

We will see about that! You are gonna have to catch up first, then you'll have to keep up. ;-p Then you will findout who really will be the one doing the singing. ;-p

Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrring it on!!!!!!!!

looks like iv made a love connection...LOL

Feisty! I like it!

Hmmm before we indulge in the moment - we better take this to private messages. Some of the boys and girls here might get uncomfortable. We are afterall discussing about Sex on the First Date... 😉

LMAO!....

Down boy...

Morals by name, morals by nature...

🙂

U didn't think it would be that easy did you?

**rolls eyes**

LOL @ Dward..

Well this is the one place where sex would bring it all together

LMAO