Testing

Is it because you think that highly of yourselves or is it because that scared to get hurt? If neither, than what?

"Testing" is a form of manipulation from insecure assholes.

In regard to Scorps- it's their control freak/paranoid fuck nature. Everyone is out to fuck them and they can trust nobody. So they run tests to manipulate you to see if you "pass" for them to consider you worthy enough to keep around.

Only psychos justify "testing."

Lol glad I am the only one that thinks tests are dumb. However, found myself totally caught up I wondering if that's occuring. From the get go I was told game play and tests were in. Though, I haven't done any, at leaSt not purposefully.

I am pretty upfront and blunt, I just don't see the point of tests.

Posted by exxtasyx
Whoever says they don't test or manipulate the person they are interested in is a fucking liar. Being in a committed, loving relationship were you both don't feel the need to test eachother is one thing... But when it's new and you're confused and the person is hard to figure out then it's a different story.

I can say that I haven't purposefully tested him. I have been pretty straight forward and honest. I am sure there has been some thing if I thought hard enough.

Posted by Alpha
I agree with @rockyroadicecream. Testing is for insecure personalities. If a person can learn to trust himself/herself more, it'll be easier to trust the other person. It'll also help to have a good grip on emotions. People test coz they feel they're vulnerable i.e. emotionally weak and don't want to get hurt. Doesn't matter if it's a new or committed relationship.

Interesting point about not trusting one's self.

Posted by exxtasyx
Whoever says they don't test or manipulate the person they are interested in is a fucking liar. Being in a committed, loving relationship were you both don't feel the need to test eachother is one thing... But when it's new and you're confused and the person is hard to figure out then it's a different story.

Ah, to be so young and naive...


...it also explains your defense of such immature tactics.

Posted by christinelovessnickers
Is it because you think that highly of yourselves or is it because that scared to get hurt? If neither, than what?

What do you consider a test? Just curious what this guy has done that you are seeing is a test?

He just said he tests. I am not sure what to even expect. So, he could be legit with everything or he could be testing and I don't even realize. He has made comments about testing to see if someone is willing to fight...like ilife they walk away easily than there wasn't much to begin with. I just wonder what is considered easily and the tests. Why test like that in the first place? Life will throw tests your way.

Not testing just figuring them out. I want to know if it will be worth my time or cause headache/heart ache down the line. Anytime I ignore this or my findings...oh goodness have I regretted it.

Testing = seeing if people are worth the time/effort.

Basically trying to see if they are 1) honest 2) self-aware 3) willing to come through / help out 4) intelligent (does not have to be all of these things). Also to figure out how their mind works.

So what do these tests look like? I mean are they super dramatic, or more like conversation, to see what you say? A combination?

Posted by SugeredSap
Not testing just figuring them out. I want to know if it will be worth my time or cause headache/heart ache down the line. Anytime I ignore this or my findings...oh goodness have I regretted it.

How do you "figure them out"?

Posted by sscorpiox
Testing = seeing if people are worth the time/effort.

Basically trying to see if they are 1) honest 2) self-aware 3) willing to come through / help out 4) intelligent (does not have to be all of these things). Also to figure out how their mind works.

And what I'd they don't do those tests?

Don't you think time will eventually tell you that...once shit gets real?

Posted by TaurusinTexas
So what do these tests look like? I mean are they super dramatic, or more like conversation, to see what you say? A combination?

For me, it's usually just a conversational thing. I might mention something indirectly to see how you respond, ("I'm moving this weekend and no one has a big car..." to see if you'll offer to help) or maybe a direct question, "Would you do something like this?" but nothing too dramatic, I'm not trying to freak people out. I think some people take it too far: huge manipulations, asking people to go above and beyond what they are comfortable/capable of, etc. I don't need to you rearrange your life - or lay down your life for me. Really it's just to understand your thought process and see how you fit in some of the categories I listed above.

Posted by sscorpiox
Testing = seeing if people are worth the time/effort.

Basically trying to see if they are 1) honest 2) self-aware 3) willing to come through / help out 4) intelligent (does not have to be all of these things). Also to figure out how their mind works.

Agreed and this can be done without playing games it can be done by simply taking things slow and really getting to know the person therefore "testing" to see if they are a quality person. That they're just not going to hit it and quit it, that they aren't crazy, or in general if you two are the right fit.

That's what dating is. Testing. If you didn't need it people would read a bio and choose or not choose to go straight into a relationship. Of course there are people that play games and don't communicate but in that sense they're not ready for a relationship anyway.

Posted by christinelovessnickers

Posted by sscorpiox
Testing = seeing if people are worth the time/effort.

Basically trying to see if they are 1) honest 2) self-aware 3) willing to come through / help out 4) intelligent (does not have to be all of these things). Also to figure out how their mind works.

And what I'd they don't do those tests?

Don't you think time will eventually tell you that...once shit gets real?

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See above. If I mention indirectly that I need help w/ something and you don't offer to help, well that tells me something. Either we are not good enough friends yet, or you don't feel like taking time out of your life to help me.

If I ask you a question that is not too personal and you don't respond (and I usually wait awhile before I ask any potentially deep questions, it's not like the first time we hang out I'm asking about your deepest darkest secrets) that could potentially tell me a few things. You are uncomfortable sharing information, you don't see us as close, maybe you are unsure of your beliefs or sharing beliefs people may disagree with, etc.

It's just a way to get information. I am not asking or requiring people to do crazy things. Some people do this... to each their own.

I am a male Scorpio and have been dealing with a female Scorpio (2 days apart). I'm in sales and sold her a hot tub a few years back so she thinks i'm a "smooth talker". We've been friends for the last few years, but this year we became really close. She finally opened up her feelings to me only to close them up and become guarded. She's had some rough relationships prior to us becoming friends. I'm very open to her and let her know my feelings. I reassure her all the time. She's big on the "friendship" aspect even though we've emotionally crossed other lines. I agree that establishing a great friendship leads to a stronger relationship and I do wonder if it's a test that she puts me through all the time. I know she likes me and I get frustrated with the constant negative relationship talk. I've shown a lot of patience with her and have stood my ground hoping one day she'll finally figure it out that I am trusting enough that we can take it a step further. I don't think i've ever met someone that has put me through TESTS more than this girl. I'm thinking that maybe after her failed relationships prior that maybe she wants to use the "friendship" thing as a guide to making her more feel comfortable in taking the next step? All I know is that she is always there and I do give her space and don't try to bug her.

They're testing to see what they can get away with.


😄

Posted by christinelovessnickers

Posted by SugeredSap
Not testing just figuring them out. I want to know if it will be worth my time or cause headache/heart ache down the line. Anytime I ignore this or my findings...oh goodness have I regretted it.

How do you "figure them out"?

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Xtina answered it perfectly. I have no further words on this matter