The Grey area

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Nicole30
@Nicole30
7 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 6 · Topics: 2
Okay, so my ex is a Scorpio moon with a Aries rising and I am a Aquarius moon with a Scorpio rising. We were together 6 years and we've been broken up for a year and 6 months.. We've been entertaining this grey area we have for the past 6 months.. To make a long story short..

WHY WE BROKE UP:

I broke up with him because he was getting too comfortable with the situation we were in( he was having financial issues so a lot of responsibility fell on me) and he also got caught being unprofessional with females he worked with...He was emotionally distant with me and it was getting to be too much for me to handle at that time so seeing those text messages set me over.. Our relationship was my world and it shattered before my eyes...

HOW WE STARTED COMMUNICATING AGAIN:

He reached out to me after 4 maybe 5 months of no communication expressing his feelings and we both felt like there was a lot to work on especially me acknowledging that I did contribute to some of the miscommunications we had. Although, still aware that he did fuck up regardless to lead to the breakup. So everything was okay at first.. We spoke a little and then of course we went through the debates of what lead to the break up and who said and did what.. So yes we bumped heads and didn't talk for a little while after that. But we seemed to reconnect again around new years where he expressed we needed to do better and we should've been with each other on new years...

WHERE WE ARE NOW:

So we saw each other in January and had sex.. It was passionate, deep and just us expressing all that frustration of not having each other in so long in that way..But of course I wanted to communicate so he understood I didn't want things to be the same as we left it after the break up.. we are getting older.. I need to know he can lead and take over...Does he see me as his wife... I needed to know if he would finally take care of me as I did for him.. Not saying Im not going to work but take care of things to help me out and of course make me feel like if "lord forbid" if i was to stumble or lose my job he'd have my back until I'm able to get back.. OR even to be my friend again and not hurt me like he did before.

His response was definitely dancing around the marriage part and when i said was he ever going to marry me he laughed a little and said yes.. But i couldn't tell if that was to shut me up about it.. I already know he could care less about marriage and slightly entertained because of me.. So now we're back to talking here and there for the next few months...

He recently expressed that he's been working so he's unable to talk a lot because he's trying to establish his self and really make shit happen( Basically he's working on getting his self together)...Which i understand because I have 3 jobs( which he doesn't know currently) so i'm just as busy... So I just need to know what to do because I don't want to run off assumption... Should i stick around and try to communicate for further understanding- look we're either together or we're not thing? OR should i cut this grey area and move on? I know for a fact that I still love him very much but I know i'm not " in love" anymore. And I know he recently expressed to me that he wanted to be "in-love" again.. but because of my work schedule I haven't been able to get back to him on that topic so it was left where it was.... Aggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Dealing with this Scorpio has been so complicated because we are both stubborn...And that plays a huge part in the disfunction.. And obviously it causes a blurr and we always seem to communicate again.. Does that mean we really love each other or does it sound like we're just comfortable... I really need help with this Scorps.. tell me what the hell is going on so i get it?!?