Trouble in Paradise

Three weeks into marriage and the whole living together and after the charade dies down I'm already wondering, do scorp men get in tune with their partners? I know this sounds like a silly question and given any other day of the week, i'd be sprouting advice to others about how affectionate and tender they can be. But truly, do they take the pain to be in tune with their partners? as in understand their moods and act/react accordingly. Mine hasnt been really showing signs of great attunement, only in times when he feels I need extra attention. And its mostly regarding attention - he feels giving enough attention should clear any problem that might arise, instead of actually talking about the issue at hand. Help me comprehend anything that I'm missing. He's mostly a WYSIWYG (what you see is what you get) kinda guy, hard to read what goes on beneath that exterior!

Its more like, all the external noise has died down, and I'm finally getting to read him loud and clear from close quarters.

Everything is okay. Its not like he'll suddenly turn into someone else overnight with all the expectations I carry around. But should I be killing them? he's an amazing person, but these little things, they make me worry to no end. I know I shouldnt be complaining, but I'm worried all the little nuances from my side will be totally lost on him!

Pardon me if I'm talking a mile a minute.

I totally understand what you're stating elle.And I do believe everything is okay 🙂. I also understand I'm putting a lot of pressure on both him and myself when I expect a certain action/reaction from him. We're still in the nascent stages of living together, everything takes a lot of time to build - and i'm being very impatient here, wanting it to happen overnight. Its like I've already written the script for a life long play. There are some other fears that are factoring into the equation - like a failed marriage of my bestie libra with her then scorpio hubby.

Posted by ellessque
remember, we mirror you to a certain extent....ESPECIALLY if you are unhappy, because it leaves us in a state of confusion and chaos....if you have all this worrisome nervous energy...that is what he'll catch.

calm down and breathe....start showing these nuances you want him to appreciate, rinse and repeat. Build up a pattern, some consistency. Eventually, it will become like second nature to him.

🙂 awww isnt that adorable, he's like a lil kiddo waiting to be taught how to catch a ball is it? lemme give it a try. The thing is, all my life people read me quite easily - be it family or friends (come to think of it, all are mostly air or fire), its not hard to follow me and i usually get an easy read on day to day activities of them.

Posted by ellessque
share the script 🙂

he'll be happy to follow it.

but don't go editing it without letting him know.

I wont be editing it on purpose, impulsiveness would be factored in here *hmmm*

Posted by Neurotoxin
You have a whole lifetime together to grow, don't go rushing it.

His and my pace are definitely different. I had to slow down a lot to actually see the guy I gave my heart to, for who he is.

Posted by Neurotoxin

Posted by ZipZapZo0m

Posted by Neurotoxin
You have a whole lifetime together to grow, don't go rushing it.

His and my pace are definitely different. I had to slow down a lot to actually see the guy I gave my heart to, for who he is.

You gals certainly move faster than us when you're on your A game and we are also on our A game.

click to expand

Its not like he's slow or anything, I've been taken by surprise at his agility in many other areas related to productivity and time management. He's quite the impulsive impatient eager-to-get-his-things-done-first kiddo when he's in his zone lol (btw, he's all cutesy when he gets into his zone). Its the living-with-another part thats throwing curve balls at him.

"Its the living-with-another part thats throwing curve balls at him."

LOL did you think it wouldn't??

Posted by Draumstafir
"Its the living-with-another part thats throwing curve balls at him."

LOL did you think it wouldn't??

I can understand big decisions and the lot but really? even little things that others take notice of?

Posted by Neurotoxin

Posted by ZipZapZo0m

Posted by Neurotoxin

Posted by ZipZapZo0m

Posted by Neurotoxin
You have a whole lifetime together to grow, don't go rushing it.

His and my pace are definitely different. I had to slow down a lot to actually see the guy I gave my heart to, for who he is.

You gals certainly move faster than us when you're on your A game and we are also on our A game.

Its not like he's slow or anything, I've been taken by surprise at his agility in many other areas related to productivity and time management. He's quite the impulsive impatient eager-to-get-his-things-done-first kiddo when he's in his zone lol (btw, he's all cutesy when he gets into his zone). Its the living-with-another part thats throwing curve balls at him.

I can be super motivated energizer bunny at work.

But then again I'm not emotionally attached to my work, so I don't analyze and obsess over it like I do with my relationship to my wife.


He's a normal scorp guy. He'll grow into your relationship.

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Yea, either he'll learn how to read me and I him, or I'll end up dismissing that part of myself for good.

Ok, why do you guys have to lie about silly shit? Whats wrong with being straightforward and wanting what you want.

He comes home from office.. sees me on the computer. I'm about to log off but my cuz comes online and we're chatting all excited about the wedding and our honeymoon trip. I barely spoke to her 2 mins and he asks for the computer, I say "in 5 mins", and try and finish up talking with her asap. Within 2 mins scorp looses his cool and shouts at me for holding up the computer for so long (we share a data card for internet connection and he cant go online while I'm using it). That really irritates me since I had already said I'll take a seperate datacard for my usage. I didnt want any unpleasant scenes just for that.

This upsets me for the evening and I go to a different room. He takes the dongle, connects to the internet, has fun, downloads stuff, is roaring with laughter and all that. After maybe 2/3e hrs notices that I'm in a different room over-analysing my ass off for even taking up his generous offer to share a data card. He walks in and wants to know why I'm so moody, I state that I knew this was going to happen and that I not only want a different dongle also some peace of mind, he lies and says he lost his cool not cuz I kept his computer occupied but cuz I wasnt spending time with him after he returned from office. He's very quick to lies (i've seen it in different contexts, places where its totally unnecessary) which is very off-putting to me. Whats wrong with accepting the fact that he wanted to use the computer? No one's gonna blame him ? why mask it

I guess thats the eventual solution.

Posted by Neurotoxin
I've never done anything like this. No. Never.

**averts eyes and mumbles to self**

LOL yea right... :p

and btw, he's 6yrs older than me.

Posted by SwimmingLioness
Hey Zip, sorry I'm out of touch a bit, just read your other thread too 🙂

I'll put my congratulations here http://photobucket.com/images/happy% 20gif" target="_blank">



So, it's a shame people come home and dump on the one they love
most of all. Seems like diverting the blame for the result of his actions
might indicate some regret for it (:

Without knowing anything about your guy I'll just say some haven't
learned owning their faults isn't as bad as they anticipate, and
that it can even lead to improvement of their well-being. Perhaps
all he needs to understand is you'll still be his even when he has
to say "I hurt you, I'm sorry".

Hey Swimming! *waves* Thank you so much 🙂

yeah, I guess. Altho i'm still in the process of finding out if he really did mean it or it was a bluff.... gotta get used to his way of seeing things before I go all judgemental and psycho on his ass. And yes, would be a load off the shoulders if he were to say those magic words "honey i'm sorry i hurt u"... he's a decent kiddo, wouldnt be able to sleep at night if he felt I was hurt in anyway tho. Very tender and caring.

Posted by starlover

Posted by ZipZapZo0m
Three weeks into marriage and the whole living together and after the charade dies down I'm already wondering, do scorp men get in tune with their partners? I know this sounds like a silly question and given any other day of the week, i'd be sprouting advice to others about how affectionate and tender they can be. But truly, do they take the pain to be in tune with their partners? as in understand their moods and act/react accordingly. Mine hasnt been really showing signs of great attunement, only in times when he feels I need extra attention. And its mostly regarding attention - he feels giving enough attention should clear any problem that might arise, instead of actually talking about the issue at hand. Help me comprehend anything that I'm missing. He's mostly a WYSIWYG (what you see is what you get) kinda guy, hard to read what goes on beneath that exterior!

Men dont really do that getting in tune thing do they? 🙂. they are just men, quite simple in their needs and wants at the end of the day ~ i would say dont expect too much and you wont be disappointed


What sign are you, a fire one?

click to expand

🙂 yea, gotta chalk it up to Men being Men I guess. Hes over all a very sweet guy, gotta get used to the phases where he checks out. I've learnt not to place any expectations on him, then whatever he does for me is such a pleasant surprise (believe me, he's given me ample reason to give up my hold on expectations).

I'm a gemini with aqua rising and libra moon by the way 🙂