Virgo male in love with a Scorpio female...help

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poop
@poop
10 Years

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Hi everyone, i have a lot to say and I'm open to hear all types of opinions, i wish for everyone to be as honest...even brutally honest as they can because i really might need that right now. I met this girl online about 9 months ago online while in a teamspeak (like skype for gamers for those who dont know about it). At first she wasnt so sure about talking with everyone because people make fun of her voice (i like her voice) ans she gets a lot of shit for it but in the end she realized that she liked most of our friends and she has been getting on regularly ever since.

She has told me that she feels she annoys people and that she pushes people away as well as people ignoring her. At first i told her that everyone likes her and that i havent noticed people ignoring her. Time passed and i feel like she has revealed little things about her to me. She does seem to come to me sometimes when she has a problem. For example someone we know lets call them sam (male) "makes her feel like shitty", her words. She messaged me on snapchat telling me she needed me and so i told her im here whats wrong? And she told me about sam. I was pissed at him but at the same time he has had his problems and i felt kinda bad for him so i told her that he is just kidding around and he doesnt know how she feels and ok that kinda blowed over but maybe i should have taken her side instead of staying so neutral.

Sorry if there is too many details but she means a lot to me, I'll try to get to the nitty gritty now. I think she has told me things that take some trust in the other person to tell. I was very depressed and she was the main reason for my uplifting. No one was able to tell about the depression, not even her, as i try to be very optimistic and im very goofy. I revealed to her that she helped me with the depression and i assured her that i dont always know what to say but ill be there to make sure she isnt alone, also reminded her thaf she is an amazing person. She responded with all of that by saying that she was relieved that she helped me with that and that she didnt know what to say, once again said that she has always seen herself as a bother to people and that she didnt know she could impact someone so much. It was kind of sudden and she agreed on it being sudden for me to say that but she said it was worth it. I dont know if i should spill more of my guts out to her because i dont want to scare her away. We talk and game together happily, but i want her so bad it h
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degenerate_ingenue
@degenerate_ingenue
10 Years1,000+ Posts

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I personally don't like when people spill too much to me. I have a Virgo moon. I don't know how to deal with others' emotions, and when they lay it on me thick, I distance myself for awhile if the feeling is not mutual until I feel I can come back safely without being smothered. I don't like to reject people, but I also don't like people to be too forward. It makes my relationship life a difficult one, because I will never tell someone I like them or am interested in them first, but I want them to. However, if they tell me too soon, it freaks me out and I disappear for awhile. A Virgo did this to me recently, and I hardly knew him. He was a friend of my Aqua friend. He was so forward....it freaked me out. I do not know the year he was born...either 88 or 89, so he either has a Cancer moon or Sag moon based on calculations. Either way...I have spoken to him since but I keep him at bay. He was very draining. Rambled about his issues and lost love and all of his emotional issues. I played mediator, and I tend to try to help everyone no matter the consequences even if they can drain my energy. This was after only 3 days of knowing him. He told me I had a "butterfly spirit" which I didn't get so I asked what he meant. His quote "It means you are always reaching for something and wanting to go farther in life and strive to find better. I'm the opposite and am a townie and deal with what I have and don't want to leave or have any desire to explore new things" ....eeeeeehhhh not my type.....the opposite of my type actually...

Do you know her moon? What is your moon? I would find out. Also compare your Venus and Mars.

I personally think you have a good start if she is as close to you as you explain. Very promising. But be wary of coming on too strong like the Virgo I knew did. Ease into it slowly is my advice. Build on the friendship and get closer steadily. You will know when the time is right. In fact, she may even throw hints at you that help you know when to move forward.
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PhoenixRising
@PhoenixRising
13 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 19 · Posts: 19733 · Topics: 48
Posted by poop

She does seem to come to me sometimes when she has a problem. For example someone we know lets call them sam (male) "makes her feel like shitty", her words. She messaged me on snapchat telling me she needed me and so i told her im here whats wrong? And she told me about sam. I was pissed at him but at the same time he has had his problems and i felt kinda bad for him so i told her that he is just kidding around and he doesnt know how she feels and ok that kinda blowed over but maybe i should have taken her side instead of staying so neutral.


I don't think the issues was really you being neutral. It nights have been she just wanted an ear. Next time just listen. She will give you a clue as to what she need (e.g. an ear vs feedback/advice)

Posted by poop

I dont know if i should spill more of my guts out to her because i dont want to scare her away. We talk and game together happily, but i want her so bad it hurts
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Try not to over do it. I think telling her how she has helped you meant a lot. As you continue to interact, I would suggest you just reveal more about yourself vs your feelings. You're not in a relationship as of yet, so spilling your guts about all this stuff you feel may be overwhelming for her. Revealing more about yourself gives her the chance to learn more about who you are, it peeks her interest and allows her to slowly take you in and develop a bond. At some point ask her out on a date (ummm I was unclear as the distance) so then she's clear about your intentions and you don't get friendzoned.

Open up about you, make your intentions clear, date then reveal feelings. Sharing at that point will fit the status of your relationship. It does not now. Otherwise you run the risk of rejection if she doesn't feel the same.

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poop
@poop
10 Years

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@degenerate_ingenue - Thank you for the response and Idk our moons. Birth dates are september 5, 1995(me) and october 31,1994(her).

P.S.- she recently said "I miss your voice" and i don't know if that's a "hint". Trying not to read toooo into things cuz that is a big problem of mine sometimes. This was when I was vacationing for a while and wasn't really talking to her much just a few messages here and there a couple days apart but about three weeks past of me not talking to her and she said that.
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poop
@poop
10 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 15 · Topics: 2
@PhoenixRising - I really like that advice, maybe I have been to worried about her problems and trying to fix them without really listening about them fully. I'll try my best to let her know about me and less about my feelings, I am very to myself and she is the only person I have spoken anything related to how I feel. I live in the U.S and she lives in Sweden (oh snap trouble) and I don't care about distance mainly because I happen to be applying to schools in Sweden because I have family there and I was born there. I could also visit her this winter when I go see my family in Sweden. Complications like this don't bother me, I'll find a way if I really want to.