Virgo woman: Advice needed with Scorpio man

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virgo29
@virgo29
17 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 123 · Topics: 21
In need of some advice.. 8 months down the road and finally i said yes to going out with him... Im a virgo female and this scorpio guy and I took it to the next stage and had sex. It was great.. we had dinner twice after that and it didn't involve us having sex..he talked about not being a good cook but since I am he would do the cleaning to help out.. he brings over wine for our dinners and even offer to buy dinner incase I'm not up to cooking..before leaving on my trip he says to me that I'm all he wants to be with when I get back.. we communicate really well normally..when we're together its like no else even exists (at least tat how I feel).. he opens up to me and tells me about things that bother him, I never ask because I don't like prying and feel he should confide only if he trusts me.

i left on a trip for a week and we communicated even during my trip away.. when i got back he messages me but nothing about seeing one another.. we message for the next three days constantly and then all of a sudden nothing for 3 days. .. he mentioned having not such a good week but didn't want t talk about it so I respected that and told him i was around if he changed his mind..however i dd continue to shoot little texts back for the next couple of days and he responded..then i haven't heard anything..

So odd, he went from taking the bus to to be able to see me even though he was exhausted and had work the next day .... risking his job to see me, spend time with me...spending dates together not being sexual and just talking and confiding in personal matters about family and work..i know its only been three days but could this mean he's no longer interested?. ..

I'm confused..
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virgo29
@virgo29
17 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 123 · Topics: 21
@SofiaV87

i also thought maybe he was being nice but he was the one making the plans and the night before i left he tried to come over but i just had too much packing to do.. and he was understanding about it...thanks

@PhoenixRising

I figured i might be over reacting and he just wants some alone time to think.. thanks

I went to pick I'm up one day from the subway since his car was in the shop and he texts me "I love you" out of appreciation for me picking him up.. Obviously he doesn't love me but used that to express his gratitude..

hence the confusion right now with him..

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AgentP911
@AgentP911
11 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 1 · Posts: 3847 · Topics: 1
You fucked him too soon.

Now your insecurity comes out to play.

You didn't take the time to date him outside of your appointments with him.

You didn't give him a chance to show you his intentions before jumping on his knob.

It's been three days but if he gave a shit he'd have arranged to see you but why bother when you've already opened your legs to him.

Give him space. Do not contact him. Not even little texts. He knows where to find you... If he wants to.
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virgo29
@virgo29
17 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 123 · Topics: 21
Hey... I'm back and in need of some advice because he messaged me and tried to make plans yesterday but I had plans already so i asked him if we could reschedule for Friday and he agreed.

We texted all last night about the election and flirted obviously.. We made plans for Friday evening.. We've had sex already .. is he going to expect it on Friday (given the above comment on tree trunking him too soon) .. if so, do I give in ?

I'm looking to take this long term but I know its too soon to ask him for a relationship so I'm in no rush. Is it okay to be intimate and spend time with him without risking to turning this into just a sexual relationship.

We have had dates without sex in the past, where we just hung out and talked and made out and then he would go home.. usually during the week though. This time its a Friday night which before he seemed to have plans on a Friday or Saturday..

Anyhow, he's been messaging me all morning saying two days to go until we see each other telling me thing he wants to do to me and almost building up his own suspense.

Is it okay to have sexual texting banter with him as well or am i encouraging his sexual motives rather than building a relationship foundation? Having sexual banter is healthy isn't it?

He seems to trust me enough to get involved/spend time with me even though his job could be at risk ( I would never let that happen though). He told me a while ago he needed to know what I wanted from him and I told him it was too early to ask for a relationship because I wanted to get to know him more but I was also not interested in anything meaningless that wasn't going to lead anywhere. This was said before we even went out on our first date. He said he wouldnt want to hurt me.

I'm also divorced and he would ask me questions about how I reacted when i was proposed too.. I wasn't proposed to sadly we just discussed it and signed papers but then he followed to say that he know exactly how he's going to propose and I reposed with that's really great and didn't allow him to elaborate. he asks me many questions about my marriage (even as short-lived as it was) and I'm happy to answer his questions but is this interest real or is he just making conversation to make me think he's interested?

He says things like I can't wait to be a dad (maybe because his dad was absent throughout his life) another thing he's talked about with me. He talks about his mom and family (maybe just to make me feel special).. ..

Am I allowed to ask if he's seeing anyone else or is it too soon and he might think its a bit invasive?

Now that he is back on making plans with me but he really only did that after I initially sent him a text and he's back in full force.

Is this going to be a patter behaviour where he will disappear from time to time until one day he just disappears for good?

Please help..











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AgentP911
@AgentP911
11 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 1 · Posts: 3847 · Topics: 1
Posted by virgo29
Hey... I'm back and in need of some advice because he messaged me and tried to make plans yesterday but I had plans already so i asked him if we could reschedule for Friday and he agreed.

We texted all last night about the election and flirted obviously.. We made plans for Friday evening.. We've had sex already .. is he going to expect it on Friday (given the above comment on tree trunking him too soon) .. if so, do I give in ?

I'm looking to take this long term but I know its too soon to ask him for a relationship so I'm in no rush. Is it okay to be intimate and spend time with him without risking to turning this into just a sexual relationship.

We have had dates without sex in the past, where we just hung out and talked and made out and then he would go home.. usually during the week though. This time its a Friday night which before he seemed to have plans on a Friday or Saturday..

Anyhow, he's been messaging me all morning saying two days to go until we see each other telling me thing he wants to do to me and almost building up his own suspense.

Is it okay to have sexual texting banter with him as well or am i encouraging his sexual motives rather than building a relationship foundation? Having sexual banter is healthy isn't it?

He seems to trust me enough to get involved/spend time with me even though his job could be at risk ( I would never let that happen though). He told me a while ago he needed to know what I wanted from him and I told him it was too early to ask for a relationship because I wanted to get to know him more but I was also not interested in anything meaningless that wasn't going to lead anywhere. This was said before we even went out on our first date. He said he wouldnt want to hurt me.

I'm also divorced and he would ask me questions about how I reacted when i was proposed too.. I wasn't proposed to sadly we just discussed it and signed papers but then he followed to say that he know exactly how he's going to propose and I reposed with that's really great and didn't allow him to elaborate. he asks me many questions about my marriage (even as short-lived as it was) and I'm happy to answer his questions but is this interest real or is he just making conversation to make me think he's interested?

He says things like I can't wait to be a dad (maybe because his dad was absent throughout his life) another thing he's talked about with me. He talks about his mom and family (maybe just to make me feel special).. ..

Am I allowed to ask if he's seeing anyone else or is it too soon and he might think its a bit invasive?

Now that he is back on making plans with me but he really only did that after I initially sent him a text and he's back in full force.

Is this going to be a patter behaviour where he will disappear from time to time until one day he just disappears for good?

Please help.




You're focusing on the little details that aren't important yet you're missing the bigger, more straight forward picture.

What is it you're looking for in your life right now?

What is it he's looking for in his life right now?

You need to know the answer to these two questions first because you need to match. If you don't match then there's little point.

Just because you ask him what he's looking for it doesn't mean you'll scare him off or that you want an instant relationship right now.

He contacted you to ask you out. Plans were made. If you're not comfortable with him coming over as it may lead to sex then why not go out instead?

You say you're not in a rush but you rushed to sleep with him!
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virgo29
@virgo29
17 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 123 · Topics: 21
For me I thought about it and I'd really like to date him exclusively but I don't want to rush him.. for him right now i have no idea....

In the beginning before we decided to go out, i told him if/when he felt he was looking for something more serious maybe we would chat then and his reply was that he wanted to take his time and when the right time came he'd make it work.

We did sleep together soon into the dating part of things but it was confusing since we had been doing this dance for almost a year.... and I know it my fault because I just kept saying no to him so he probably just saw it as a challenge at the time and I saw it as liking each other...

I asked him to go out instead of my place because its his birthday but we've go into this grove of him bringing over wine, I cook and we spend time together..and he said he'd rather for his birthday stay in with me..

We connect and can talk a lot better when its just the two of us instead of a noisy restaurant. .. He does not ever push for sex, the last two times we saw each other we had dinner and just chatted non stop.. ..

If its not going to hurt anything I'm just going to ask him what he is looking for presently... so we're on the same page

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AgentP911
@AgentP911
11 Years1,000+ Posts

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Posted by virgo29
For me I thought about it and I'd really like to date him exclusively but I don't want to rush him.. for him right now i have no idea....

In the beginning before we decided to go out, i told him if/when he felt he was looking for something more serious maybe we would chat then and his reply was that he wanted to take his time and when the right time came he'd make it work.

We did sleep together soon into the dating part of things but it was confusing since we had been doing this dance for almost a year.... and I know it my fault because I just kept saying no to him so he probably just saw it as a challenge at the time and I saw it as liking each other...

I asked him to go out instead of my place because its his birthday but we've go into this grove of him bringing over wine, I cook and we spend time together..and he said he'd rather for his birthday stay in with me..

We connect and can talk a lot better when its just the two of us instead of a noisy restaurant. .. He does not ever push for sex, the last two times we saw each other we had dinner and just chatted non stop.. ..

If its not going to hurt anything I'm just going to ask him what he is looking for presently... so we're on the same page


I think asking him is a good idea. You need to see if you're barking up the right tree.

For you, you know you want to date him exclusively I assume with a view to something longer term.

There's nothing wrong with stating your intentions and asking him about his. It doesn't mean you want him to put a ring on it right now. If he's open to dating you exclusively too then great. If in a few months either of you change your mind then so be it.

I just don't think you want to be wasting your time with a man who doesn't know what he wants in general.

How old are you? Have you been married? Had kids etc? I know you're older than him so these things need to be considered. You don't want to spend a year getting to know him if he could have saved you all that time by telling you what he was and was not looking for in the next year or few years.

I say this as I've turned 37. Never married. No kids. Been with my partner 10 months now. He's 45. Never married. No kids. It was important to me to know if he was open to marriage and kids. If he was a no then I'd have moved on. I didn't want to waste the next few years hoping he might match what I was looking for. I'm not even a definite on the marriage and kids thing but I'd rather have the option available if that's where life goes for us.
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virgo29
@virgo29
17 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 123 · Topics: 21
Thank so much for this. It really is making me feel better about everything. I'm 37, i am divorced, no kids, live on my own, have a dog (who he seems to luv and play with).

Before I left on my trip, his exact words were " you're all I will be with when you're back from you're trip"..

made me wonder:

1. is this just something he's just saying (blowing smoke up my ass)

2. what does that mean? does that mean he's just seeing me an no one else? and am I supposed to say the same back to him?

3. Does that mean he's been with other girls through the time we've been seeing each other? (which he is entitled too of course)

I get what you are saying though, I'm not going to make a big deal of it, i'll just bring it up causally and see what his thoughts are because you've made me realize that we've only really been out on five formal dates and it may just be way too soon for him to determine if he wants me as a girlfriend or not (justifiably too soon)

Thank again

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Scorpio323OC
@Scorpio323OC
9 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 172 · Topics: 3
Posted by virgo29
In need of some advice.. 8 months down the road and finally i said yes to going out with him... Im a virgo female and this scorpio guy and I took it to the next stage and had sex. It was great.. we had dinner twice after that and it didn't involve us having sex..he talked about not being a good cook but since I am he would do the cleaning to help out.. he brings over wine for our dinners and even offer to buy dinner incase I'm not up to cooking..before leaving on my trip he says to me that I'm all he wants to be with when I get back.. we communicate really well normally..when we're together its like no else even exists (at least tat how I feel).. he opens up to me and tells me about things that bother him, I never ask because I don't like prying and feel he should confide only if he trusts me.

i left on a trip for a week and we communicated even during my trip away.. when i got back he messages me but nothing about seeing one another.. we message for the next three days constantly and then all of a sudden nothing for 3 days. .. he mentioned having not such a good week but didn't want t talk about it so I respected that and told him i was around if he changed his mind..however i dd continue to shoot little texts back for the next couple of days and he responded..then i haven't heard anything..

So odd, he went from taking the bus to to be able to see me even though he was exhausted and had work the next day .... risking his job to see me, spend time with me...spending dates together not being sexual and just talking and confiding in personal matters about family and work..i know its only been three days but could this mean he's no longer interested?. ..

I'm confused..
If I'm interested or like the person it'll be hard to stop me. I will communicate and will spend time doesn't matter if Im busy I will make time and you will have no doubts.
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Nature Boy
@13th
10 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 1225 · Topics: 11
Posted by Scorpio323OC
Posted by virgo29
In need of some advice.. 8 months down the road and finally i said yes to going out with him... Im a virgo female and this scorpio guy and I took it to the next stage and had sex. It was great.. we had dinner twice after that and it didn't involve us having sex..he talked about not being a good cook but since I am he would do the cleaning to help out.. he brings over wine for our dinners and even offer to buy dinner incase I'm not up to cooking..before leaving on my trip he says to me that I'm all he wants to be with when I get back.. we communicate really well normally..when we're together its like no else even exists (at least tat how I feel).. he opens up to me and tells me about things that bother him, I never ask because I don't like prying and feel he should confide only if he trusts me.

i left on a trip for a week and we communicated even during my trip away.. when i got back he messages me but nothing about seeing one another.. we message for the next three days constantly and then all of a sudden nothing for 3 days. .. he mentioned having not such a good week but didn't want t talk about it so I respected that and told him i was around if he changed his mind..however i dd continue to shoot little texts back for the next couple of days and he responded..then i haven't heard anything..

So odd, he went from taking the bus to to be able to see me even though he was exhausted and had work the next day .... risking his job to see me, spend time with me...spending dates together not being sexual and just talking and confiding in personal matters about family and work..i know its only been three days but could this mean he's no longer interested?. ..

I'm confused..
If I'm interested or like the person it'll be hard to stop me. I will communicate and will spend time doesn't matter if Im busy I will make time and you will have no doubts.

click to expand





But it was only 3 days...haha smh

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Scorpio323OC
@Scorpio323OC
9 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 172 · Topics: 3
Posted by 13th
Posted by Scorpio323OC
Posted by virgo29
In need of some advice.. 8 months down the road and finally i said yes to going out with him... Im a virgo female and this scorpio guy and I took it to the next stage and had sex. It was great.. we had dinner twice after that and it didn't involve us having sex..he talked about not being a good cook but since I am he would do the cleaning to help out.. he brings over wine for our dinners and even offer to buy dinner incase I'm not up to cooking..before leaving on my trip he says to me that I'm all he wants to be with when I get back.. we communicate really well normally..when we're together its like no else even exists (at least tat how I feel).. he opens up to me and tells me about things that bother him, I never ask because I don't like prying and feel he should confide only if he trusts me.

i left on a trip for a week and we communicated even during my trip away.. when i got back he messages me but nothing about seeing one another.. we message for the next three days constantly and then all of a sudden nothing for 3 days. .. he mentioned having not such a good week but didn't want t talk about it so I respected that and told him i was around if he changed his mind..however i dd continue to shoot little texts back for the next couple of days and he responded..then i haven't heard anything..

So odd, he went from taking the bus to to be able to see me even though he was exhausted and had work the next day .... risking his job to see me, spend time with me...spending dates together not being sexual and just talking and confiding in personal matters about family and work..i know its only been three days but could this mean he's no longer interested?. ..

I'm confused..
If I'm interested or like the person it'll be hard to stop me. I will communicate and will spend time doesn't matter if Im busy I will make time and you will have no doubts.






But it was only 3 days...haha smh

click to expand

lol it's lust not love.
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Scorpio323OC
@Scorpio323OC
9 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 172 · Topics: 3
Posted by 13th
Posted by Scorpio323OC
Posted by virgo29
In need of some advice.. 8 months down the road and finally i said yes to going out with him... Im a virgo female and this scorpio guy and I took it to the next stage and had sex. It was great.. we had dinner twice after that and it didn't involve us having sex..he talked about not being a good cook but since I am he would do the cleaning to help out.. he brings over wine for our dinners and even offer to buy dinner incase I'm not up to cooking..before leaving on my trip he says to me that I'm all he wants to be with when I get back.. we communicate really well normally..when we're together its like no else even exists (at least tat how I feel).. he opens up to me and tells me about things that bother him, I never ask because I don't like prying and feel he should confide only if he trusts me.

i left on a trip for a week and we communicated even during my trip away.. when i got back he messages me but nothing about seeing one another.. we message for the next three days constantly and then all of a sudden nothing for 3 days. .. he mentioned having not such a good week but didn't want t talk about it so I respected that and told him i was around if he changed his mind..however i dd continue to shoot little texts back for the next couple of days and he responded..then i haven't heard anything..

So odd, he went from taking the bus to to be able to see me even though he was exhausted and had work the next day .... risking his job to see me, spend time with me...spending dates together not being sexual and just talking and confiding in personal matters about family and work..i know its only been three days but could this mean he's no longer interested?. ..

I'm confused..
If I'm interested or like the person it'll be hard to stop me. I will communicate and will spend time doesn't matter if Im busy I will make time and you will have no doubts.






But it was only 3 days...haha smh

click to expand

lol FYI doesn't matter if it's just 3 days if I'm really attracted she will know there will be no mixed signals.
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Nature Boy
@13th
10 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 1225 · Topics: 11
Posted by Scorpio323OC
Posted by 13th
Posted by Scorpio323OC
Posted by virgo29
In need of some advice.. 8 months down the road and finally i said yes to going out with him... Im a virgo female and this scorpio guy and I took it to the next stage and had sex. It was great.. we had dinner twice after that and it didn't involve us having sex..he talked about not being a good cook but since I am he would do the cleaning to help out.. he brings over wine for our dinners and even offer to buy dinner incase I'm not up to cooking..before leaving on my trip he says to me that I'm all he wants to be with when I get back.. we communicate really well normally..when we're together its like no else even exists (at least tat how I feel).. he opens up to me and tells me about things that bother him, I never ask because I don't like prying and feel he should confide only if he trusts me.

i left on a trip for a week and we communicated even during my trip away.. when i got back he messages me but nothing about seeing one another.. we message for the next three days constantly and then all of a sudden nothing for 3 days. .. he mentioned having not such a good week but didn't want t talk about it so I respected that and told him i was around if he changed his mind..however i dd continue to shoot little texts back for the next couple of days and he responded..then i haven't heard anything..

So odd, he went from taking the bus to to be able to see me even though he was exhausted and had work the next day .... risking his job to see me, spend time with me...spending dates together not being sexual and just talking and confiding in personal matters about family and work..i know its only been three days but could this mean he's no longer interested?. ..

I'm confused..
If I'm interested or like the person it'll be hard to stop me. I will communicate and will spend time doesn't matter if Im busy I will make time and you will have no doubts.






But it was only 3 days...haha smh


lol FYI doesn't matter if it's just 3 days if I'm really attracted she will know there will be no mixed signals.
click to expand





I agree but it seems like ppl get confused anyway, perfect example: the OP.. That scorpio probably thinks hes being clear as day

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AgentP911
@AgentP911
11 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 1 · Posts: 3847 · Topics: 1
I think OP is seriously overanalysing everything to the point it's losing the natural flow.

As the other person said, he probably thinks he's being clear yet Virgo is looking for his declaration written in blood... And she'd even be questioning that!

No one here can tell you what he is thinking or feeling.

I'm glad it is helping though. Be more forthright with him. If you're both casually dating each other then make that known. If you're looking for exclusivity make that known. All you can do is state your intentions. Scorpios appreciate directness although we don't always handle it well.

The facts of the case seem to be he pursued you for a while. Months and months. Yet you were the one who wasn't sure. Finally you stated your interest. He's still around and asking you out. Well not out out but you know what I mean. Try to go out more. He needs to put some effort in as it sounds like he's settling into the easy option with minimal input. It's too early to be settling into that routine. Go out, dinner, pubs, play pool, cinema, music venues, shows, comedy, day out to a new city, theme park etc. These kind of things teach you things about if a person is compatible with you.