Why do they do that

I'm hoping for some insight as to the behaviour of a male scorpion. I'm totally confused and would be glad for honest answers.

I went out with a scorpion male for a few months and we got on brillantly. I had been in a longterm relationship and said I needed to find myself first before entering into anything longterm again. My scorpion said I was emotionally hurting him by calling this relationship on and off. The thing is I didnt want anything heavy but everytime we met up I couldnt help myself. I called it a day saying I needed time to heal and he said I had hurt him. I decided a few weeks ago that I missed him and I didnt want to be without him. Now my friend has come out and told me that he had been dating someone else when he met me.(we met through work) SO all the time we were getting to know each other (just friends) he was dating someone and when we first dated he was also seeing her (it was her that called it a day when she found out about me). I just cant believe that what we had wasnt real. I not going to contact him now but would really like to know why males do this. We seemed to have a real friendship and then things progressed to more. Do you think he did care, how could he say that I was hurting him when he was dating someone at the same time. Was he really just a snake - he asked me once was I lonely and I said no just confused with the relationship I had been in, he said there was nothing worst than being lonely and that after a while any partner he was involved with just called it a day didnt want to know! I watched him at the time he told me this and there was tears in his eyes his chin shivered - was this all just a lie? I mean this guy was tall, dark and handsome, clever and very witty which I couldnt understand why anyone would call it a day with him. Do you think he was leading me on. I would appreciate honest answers. Want to be prepared so it doesnt happen again.

PS I forgot to add that he constantly apologised to me saying that he knew that I needed time to heal, get over my past experience but that he couldnt help himself. When at work if we passed each other and there was no-one about he used to reach over and peck me on the cheek and when I look surprised or said what if someone sees us he used to say I cant help it I just need to touch you. Was it just lies!

So even though he had been seeing someone else while he was getting to know you, he eventually chose you over the other woman—? Its not at all unusual in this day and age for people in uncomitted relationships to date others so The only question I'd have is would he have stopped seeing the other woman on his own once the two of you became serious. It may be difficult to figure out since she beat him to the punch but if you can Answer that question, youll know whether or not his intentions towards you were sincere.

I think he was sincere! And he sounds like a good guy!!! You're really good 198, the best!!!

To me, it looks like he is really lonely.
He hasnt learnt how to be intimate and also give the other person space in a relationship.

Your on-off attitude must have given him the idea that you may not be interested in a serious relationship - that being the reason he decided on keeping this other date going.
He needs to feel needed and he wasnt sure he was going to get it from you!

I am not trying to justify his actions -just giving you a different point of view.

Most people get scared when the other person comes on too strong or is unique in thier approach to the relationship.
That maybe the reason that people give up on him easily.

I think he is just a lost soul in need of some TLC.

Hi Sinead,
After reading your story, I can tell you that i've had a very similar experience with a scorpio male. The scorpio male I dated for a couple of months (met through a friend) had proposed the idea of marriage to me, yet was involved with another girl-I found out.
From what I can gather from your story, I'd say your scorpio man did have strong feelings for you, but maby felt that he needed another woman as a "backup". You know that the scorpio sign is the ruler of sex, so they can be extremely flirtacious when it comes to women. Sorry to be blunt here, but I think that the previous women in his life may have left him for the same reason- his unfaithfulness and dishonesty (he never mentioned the girl to you before). I think that what this scorpio male (along with a few others-not all!) doesn't seem to understand is that once they start a relationship-they should cease dating other girls. I know you said that you were uncertain in the beginning of your relationship, I believe he should have continued pursuing you without the need for another woman if he was really sincere, and man enough.
The reason also why he may have been dating this other woman is because his history of relationships were never serious, so he was never really commited to the one person. This may be the reason why he could not pursue just the one woman only.
Hope this helps & I wish you the best in whatever decision you make!

I am so so confused as what to do. I was never lonely until I met this guy and now his words haunt me. He was married once at the age of 19 and his wife left him. He said he gave her an ultimatum - him or her mum (said after the baby her mum came up every weekend and he wanted his family to himself - said she called him domineering). Yes I do think he is lonley too but I've been badly hurt and I dont want to be hurt again either. I've snooped about and found out that he was only going with this girl a few weeks when we first met but why didnt he mention her he could of said he had a girl friend as I said became friends first! My friend was told the girl felt very let down by him so I'm thinking what had he been saying to her. I think she took it that they were getting on fine before she found out about me. I wish men had a sign over their heads saying honest or lair or something. Ive read a lot of posts on this board and I am thinking here I am - I'm another one. I took him as honest and sincere but then if they are snakes they come across as this. I phoned him the other night and left a message just asked how he was. He hasnt replied and I dont think he will. Perhaps I did hurt him and he has decided to cut me out or maybe he is a snake and doesnt care anyway! I suppose I am taking this so badly because I know he went after me I mean really after me and now I am not so sure why. Did he like me and want to be my friend, or has he a ego problem or did he see me as easy prey. The last one I fear the most but it seems to be the norm in my life at the moment. I wish he would phone me and want to met again, that he is the honest and sincere person I believed him to be but as time goes on I believe that to be just wishful thinking!

Hi Sinead,

I hope he calls you too and i hope you guys can work out your differences with each other instead of your having to do the guessing game.

From what i know of scorps they will never give you a clue as to where you stand with them - so try not to expect any straight answers.

I wish i knew of some sure way of helping you out here.....but really i dont think there is any proven way around these situations and esp with scorps.

I believe you should do exactly what you think you should without thinking of the repercussions. Afterall you will atleast have the satisfaction of having taken the path that you believe in.

Try to remember not to bet all your happiness on what he will say or choose to do or not do.
Life is about much more than one disappointment - right!?

Take care!
🙂

Hello people and thank you for your replies. I am feeling quite sad for two reasons. The first he hasnt contacted me and secondly because I got to know this person very well and believe they would dearly love to be in a longterm committed relationship. I say that because of the chats we had and I dont believe he could of been lying all the time I was there looking into his eyes,listening to him. I know he was deeply hurt by his ex-wife and I think he has reversations about totally getting involved again. Think he would love to but pulls back, gets afraid when things get serious. As I said I have telephoned him (kind of unlocked the door) but now it is up to him to open it. I have a gut feeling he won't. I hope for his sake he mets someone and totally falls in love (I wish it was with me but) he is only 28 years old and has so much to give. I feel his job also doesnt help (he works for the Armed Forces) and travels about all the time. I think if he was in one place he would have to face people again and possibility could sort it out or at least know they are there and aint going no-where but with his job when it doesnt work he moves on and I suppose starts the cycle yet again. I've read all the posts on this board even from way back and I feel like crying. Crying for me, crying for him, crying for what could of been but thats not going to help either. Looking back I know I could of been what he wanted but then its up to him to want that too. What I mean is that I've been hurt in the past but I havent let that stop me for feeling for someone, I'm afraid to get hurt again but I wont let that stop me. Maybe some day he will feel the same and for his sake I deeply hope so. Now I going to go and heal again (I know its going to take a lot of time) and but it all down to experience. PS if he does ring I will let you all know - hey I will probably tell the world! THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR KINDNESS!
SINEAD

When the moment is right, things will take place. IMO. Love is up to all of us, and then again feelings can lie!!! What I mean is, sometimes we go the wrong direction when are vunerabilities are exposed. When we want to so desperatley say "Ilove you" we remain silent! When we want to connect, we hide or don't talk or call. We jump to fast when we should be taking things slowly. All these things say we are afraid to live without love, but then again we are afraid to love. Do you understand me?? I think when we do these things, deep down inside what we are thinking is, we don't deserve it!We are not worthy of LOVE. The past haunts us i.e., prior relationships or family stuff!! It takes a little work to chip those old feeling of 'self hate' and 'unworthiness' away, but in time we all can do it!!! I have been there myself, until very recently! Thanks to a great guy with enough intellegence and insight to read me a mile away!! I think I am ready to love again. I want to try. My most important criteria this time is we have chemistry between the ears. A nice set of eyes would be great too, but money, status, looks, etc...don't take any priority! Love will rule this time, and I am going to take the time to learn and connect with my mate at a mind and soul level before we get physical. If we are compatable before we have sex, then sex will be even more fufilling!

Good Luck and hope everything turns out the way you hope!

S.

That was for you Sinead or anyone else feeling down because of unreciprocated love! It will be ok, just have patience and get on with your life and most of all be true to yourself!!! (think about the last thing I said, most important!)

S.

Well said S(205.188.209.40)

Sometimes i feel life is like living in quicksand! 🙂
With a lot of struggle you can surface to the ground but then that state of bliss is not maintainable. You probably will go down now or later (because the life below is very intriguing!? 🙂)

So what we have to remember is that we need to make the best of what we have and be happy in the struggles/ecstacies that is life. If there are no struggles then where is the fun in living? 🙂

Maybe that is a wee bit over pesimestic - but hey i just wanted to say have fun and enjoy even the drab parts of life because every bit of precious LIFE has something to offer us.

I agree!, and I am Keeping the Faith. You are so right though, without the struggles how would I know then what faith was really all about!? It sould be tested and it is and I am still here and I am not giving in or giving up!!!

As far as relationships go, we all need to think beyond the moment. With the struggles come growth, awareness, and maturity. You need to know who you are, you need to understand your place or in this world, have your own identity(spirituality) it all takes time and work! But thenn you'll be able to love and have loved returned to you in a healthy way! It is worth the work!

See 207, I am paying attention! I learn fast. Sometimes we don't even know what is buried inside us until we give it a chance to come out of the dark and shine.

I also feel like I have formed another family here on these boards!

Thanks so much!

"Sometimes i feel life is like living in quicksand! 🙂
With a lot of struggle you can surface to the ground but then that state of bliss is not maintainable. You probably will go down now or later (because the life below is very intriguing!? 🙂)"

207,

I have to tell you, I have been in a state of bliss and it has kept me going for longer than I have ever remembered, for real! I feel I have been loved by someone and touched by someone and held by someone and meant something to someone. Someone has defintely touched my heart along the way! I feel ok!

I sent those lyrics out once before and they rang true then and they still do!
S.

I am glad for you S!
I agree i was overly pessimistic with that sentence - probably the "critical" side of me possessed my hand when i was writing that response! 🙂

Sinead, way to go! 🙂
Take care!

Sinead and others,

Although I have encouraged you to pursue your heart,there is another type of man that may not be had. He is a type of man that may make endless tests of his mate that they will never be able to pass. Let it be known this type of man is not one that has found himself yet and may need to search longer until ready to settle down.

I will relate my story for you in hope that you can relate.

You're such a liar
you took her and her children out for the afternoon
while I was sitting waiting on you.
How could you do it?
You should have been here with me;
you couldn't do it;
you had to be in the street.
We'll I've been hearin through the grapevine
you've been messin around.
When you thought you were gettin over,
this BabyGirl found out!
We'll I'm willing to forgive you,but I can't forget
bcause you really, really, really hurt me this time.
AndI guess I can can go on but I must admit that,I've been busy, busy, busy thinkin about messin around on you.
I gave you everything--
My heart
my soul
my love
I can't explain this poor excuse for a man!
Aretha Franklin

"You probably will go down now or later (because the life below is very intriguing!? 🙂)"

207,

I don't understand!!! Can you please explain what you mean by intrigue!!!!??
Thanks
S.

S,
Well! I meant that very SYMBOLICALLY.
I was likening 'life' to 'quicksand'.
The more you struggle the more you find yourself being "sucked in".

"Sucked in" implied getting INVOLVED in
LIFE and its challenges!

"You probably will go down now or later (because the life below is very intriguing!? 🙂)"

"You probably will go down now or later" - I meant now or later you will get involved in lifes numerous challenges. It is not humanly possible to be blissful ALWAYS.

"because the life below is very intriguing!?" -

"life below" implied, living surrounded by the various possibilities (which are scary, inspiring, happy...whatever!)

I find life very intriguing. I don't know what challenges are going to be thrown my way the next moment OR how i will handle it!

Having said that, i hope you are able to see my point of view!
And if not then either you need to give it a little more thought OR then you should simply stop worrying yourself about it too much - after all it is not necessary that you have to understand what everyone else says!

207,

Oh, I understand! And I am not worried about anything, at the moment?!

I respect your views and here are some of mine too.

I think the 'intrigue' about life and 'struggles' and 'challenges' for some people is a way to stay alive in a protected world. They create all these 'struggles' and quicksand and 'challenges' because it is better to feel SOMETHING, even if that something is PAIN, than to feel NOTHING at ALL! But isn't there enough in life already without artificially creating more? Yes, we all have goodtimes and badtimes to go through but I don't go looking to try and creat these things un-necessarily. Good God, I have enough drama without looking for extra! Do you understand what I am saying? And, I am not judging anyone for living life as they choose. This is going off track a little but I would like to discuss it anyway, if you don't mind? When you take others unknowinly along for those endless rollercoster rides, then I think you are playin with people's feelings. I mean, perhaps if they found out they would feel ashamed or used or lied to or violated some trust? There may have been very good reasons for it! I know sometimes when I want to find out about a person I will resort to testing them too, but not to the point of damaging or hurting them.

I don't know, just some thoughts!

207,

Am I anywhere in the park??

S,
Nope you are no where to be seen in my view of the park!!!!!

I dont get it! How did my vague perception of life transalate to feeling pain and the roller coaster rides and all that—?

I totaly lost you there!

Also remember that PERCEIVING is VERY different from creating anything!
Yes, I do perceive life as many possibilities in one big package.
NO, i dont go about creating any artificial situations to deal with!

I dont live life in my mind, you know!

Please, do not read more into things that were meant to be simple!
I agree sometimes complicated is good - but right now you are managing to baffle me with your random views on my views!!

207

Well, I apologize and I was continuing the thread topic and that was the reason for the confusion! Sorry!

PS: 207,

and I do live life in my head!!! What

is so wrong with that??

I wud have prefered not to comment on that, to avoid having a barrage of posts thrown my way! 🙂
im kidding!

Well if you must have it then answer this -
Why would you want to live life in your head?

Aint it more fun to find out the reality rather than conjuring up some vague things in your head??

And how the hell would you trust you mind to play such variety (as life offers) everytime——?

Just some thoughts!

207,

I am not afraid of what people think, I really don't care, I never have. Not when it comes to my personal life!!!

I am a thinker and a doer and yes, I would also like to live those fantasies out and alot of times I do!, that is why I conjure them up...To be done!!! LOL

and I forgot what else you asked, excuse me; I will have to go back and re- read what you wrote. I wish the topic that we were r...oops better not complain!!!

Alright S!
I am convinced that you are a THINKER! 🙂

Me,

You have NO idea what I am and I am not here to convince you of anything! I don't want to! If you lived half the life that I have then you have been somewhere and that is NO bullshit!!!

S,
True i have absolutley no idea as to what you are. But i do believe you are thinker!
As far as having lived half the life you have lived then maybe i havent or maybe i have - how would you know—
Me

"Aint it more fun to find out the reality rather than conjuring up some vague things in your head??

And how the hell would you trust you mind to play such variety (as life offers) everytime——?"

What do you care,and why is it any of your business how I live my life— I didn't ask you for your opinion on my personal life!!! I think you are in stepping into some personal bounderies here!!! Understand??

S,
I have no reason to make your life any of my business!

I was airing my views to

"PS: 207,
and I do live life in my head!!! What
is so wrong with that?? "

If you dont like what you hear, then you should stop asking questions (directed specifically to me!)

BTW, i have had enough of this bickering over nothing!
Have a good one, S!
bye

Next time, know who you are talking about before you start making statements like I live in a fantasy world!

You don't know anything about my world! Except for what I let you know!!

I wasn't arguing; I was being up front! I have a right to say what I want. Your not my husband; who the hell gave you authority over me—

207,

By the way, this is an OPINION board and if you can't handle arguement, why are you posting here??

Sorry 207, that was out of line and I apologize!!!