MARRIED TAURUS MAN--REALITY CHECK

it depends.there may be a karmic chemistry connection but it may fade the only way you will know is if you are able to date with no other stuff hanging over your head like being married to someone else take it from me been down that road.if it is meant 2 be he will get a divorce,,for a taurus person may take a long time to do..so my advice LET IT GO.HE IS NOT READY TO LEAVE IF HE WAS HE WOULD HAVE ALREADY BEEN DIVORCED.GOOD LUCK

Canavar, Let me say this to you and I mean no harm. NO MARRIED MAN IS LEAVING HIS FAMILY, NOR HIS WIFE. This is a ploy to make you think that all the while keep you on the side and build much more with you until you two get close and an intimate encounter happens. NEVER EVER be the shoulder for a MARRIED MAN to come and complain about his wife and how she isn't good in bed or how she nags, etc. You are only allowing him to play on your intelligence and use you. If he WANTED to get a divorce he would be divorced and TRUST ME, he can tell you oh the kids all day long. Please cut this GAME off immediately before too much is invested and you walk away with a broken heart, used body, jilted ego and possibly more. IT IS SOOOOO NOT Worth it. I'd CUT those Conversations OFF QUICK no matter what the chemistry is or KARMA surely will pay you a visit. THIS MAN BELONGS to someone else and at the end of the day he is STILL MARRIED and going back home to his WIFE and KIDS. If you don't want to be labled a HOME WRECKER then don't allow yourself to be played.

Canavar, I think you're right to leave things for the moment. I've been in a similar situation recently, in that I liked a Cappy I work with, who was engaged. He told me he had strong feelings for me but I wasn't interested in playing second fiddle. Then they split. In my naive reasoning I thought we'd have a chance. This doesn't seem to be the case though. He wanted to start something almost straight away, but I was a little more reticent and said that he must need some space to process the whole sitaution (his ex is obviously giving him grief; he dumped her 3 months before the wedding). So he said that he wasn't sure what his feelings for me would be once he felt 'better'. I was upset and have now just cut him loose basically. I'm not saying this would happen in your situation, but you definitely need to be aware that even if he does leave his wife, the grief and mourning he will go through will be hard to watch. I'm not sure I could cope with someone I loved grieving over a relationship with another woman.

In terms of him being a Taurus, I agree with Taurus35. If he does want to leave it could very well take him a long time to do so, and is it worth waiting months, maybe even years, for something that might not even be as good when you have it? I don't know, it's your call. Try not to dwell on him too much. If it's meant to work out, you two will come back together.

What I find absurd is people who have blinders on and sugar coat this situation by giving her some FALSE hope that things can work. She is setting herself up for TROUBLE. Anyone that would encourage her to "wait and see" has low values as well. But then moral values are sorely lacking in society today, what's left of them. I don't believe in pacifying things or sticking a band-aid on them so I Definitely won't give her any FALSE hope. She needs to CUT this guy OFF whether she THINKS she is hook, line, or whatever. My parents taught me that marriage is honorable before God and is OFF Limits. This is not to say that a person can't fall victim to a relationship out of deception. I met a guy who ACTUALLY had the audacity to classify himself as SINGLE. He gave me ALL his numbers, invited me to come over when I wanted to and also introduced me to his family. Being the Capricorn I am I did a little bit more investigation into his background. He did disclose he adopted a child with his Supposedly "ex-wife" but didn't have any children biologically. The guy was nice but something kept making me feel he wasn't being honest about something and I just couldn't put my finger on it.

Cont'd
This guy was nice and honest in his own way but failed to tell the REAL truth that he was still legally married. I found out one day when he and I were having movie night and I was sitting on the couch and Abaracadabra!!! A woman and a little girl rang the doorbell. He answered and they came in. He introduced me as his Girlfriend mind you and the lady was cordial and shook my hand. She said "Oh, my husband has told me a lot about you and I am glad he's happy." My eyes must have Popped, Rolled and bugged out cause I thought I was hearing things. She left and I went off on him and asked him at WHAT point was he going to tell me he was still legally married. He started trying to plead his case for saying he is single and that the woman has moved on and is in a relationship. My question was WHY hasn't there been a DIVORCE? He went through this spill about being legally seperated and how some states require you to do legal seperation for a year. My disgust with him was that he LIED and was claiming a status that didn't apply to him. I DON'T CARE THAT THE WOMAN HAD A BOYFRIEND, THEY WERE STILL LEGALLY MARRIED. This guy went to great lengths to convince me but I wasn't having it. He even had her to call me and tell me she is in a relationship and lives with someone else and that their marriage is OVER. I told her technically it wasn't until she signed ont he dotted line. I ended the relationship and felt I was decieved. The guy wrote me a letter apologizing and stated he hopes someday I forgive him. Last I heard he is NOW divorced and the wife remarried. Oh WELL, Married is MArried to me.

"Canavar ican tell you that if Taurus says that he fallen in love with you that means that he really is in love.And im sure that he will do everything to be with you.Real love can move mountains."

LOL Stoooopppppp! Please stop! That is bologna....moldy, green bologna! Ok 1st of all...I am a taurus too & just because I'm a taurus doesn't mean that I'm incapable of telling a lie. YES there are dishonest taurus people out in the world. I hate to lie, especially about feelings but if I had to I could, I'm not gonna melt. 2nd of all....how could one fall in love, hook, line, sinker for someone in 6 hours? SIX HOURS! seriously!? Come on you taurus people! LOL you know that we are cautious folks... we are not gonna fall in love in 6 hours, 6 days, maybe not even 6 weeks.

OK the fact alone that he is even having convos like this while married to a woman who is NOT his wife PROVES that he is a liar..YES I said it...a lying taurus! GASP! lol &&& If he would do this WITH you Canavar...he would do it TO you! What he is, is bored, & you are entertaining him. He's a man, married to his college sweetheart for 9 years & has 2 young children...he is BORED...NOT in love. See some are quick to say "Oh well he's a Taurus so if he said he's in love with you it MUST be!" but did you folks who said that forget about the loyalty of a taurus? You can't pick & choose our traits to fit a situation. We are loyal, we are cautious, we are straightforward & yes pretty honest but that doesn't mean a taurus isn't capable of telling a lie.

Canavar I think you are DOING the right thing by telling him NO but I don't think you are thinking the right way.....

"And that when and if he did leave, I would be here."

^^^^^^
Don't do that. Don't say No I won't be with you but I'll wait until your ready. by doing that you've just discounted everything you've said to him. You've basically just told him you'll dangle by his string. He's Married!


"But I also dare to hope that the surreal connection he and I have will prompt him to leave so that we can be together, properly."

^^^^^^^^^^
That statement right there makes this loyal 😉 taurus want to vomit to be honest & I don't understand how any other taurus could read that & cheer canavar on! Canavar...why would you wish such a thing on someone? You are wishing that this married man would leave his family...his wife...his CHILDREN... his life! to be with you?! You say that he lives across the country, meaning that if he did, he would leave his children & move across the country to be with you. That is extremely selfish. I personally wouldn't even want to be with a man who would entertain the thought of leaving his babies to be with me. YUCK

Looks like the original Poster vanished

I'm going to give you the REALITY check that you asked for...Here it goes...

If a man (Taurus or not) felt so strongly about leaving his family, it wouldn't take another woman to motivate him to do this. If his family life was THAT bad, he would've found a way to leave a long time ago. This man is not going to leave his family for you, a person that he hasn't grown to love for 9 years or established kids with. And truthfully, why would you want this man to leave his family anyways? You only know the side of him that he WANTED to show you, in which I'm sure was very limited since you didn't even know he was married until you actually met him. The fact that he magically FORGOT to mention his marriage should've been your warning the 1st minute those words escaped his lips. But no, you stayed b/c the selfishness in us will sometimes allow us to crave the things that we haven't earned yet and/or the things that don't belong to us, at everyone's expense. Admire a man who leaves his family behind b/c he was ALREADY going to leave his family, whether he met another better woman or not. No, don't admire a man who's foolishly willing to give up what it took him 9 years to build over internet or unsecured love. Any man who will risk losing his family (the most important group of people we'll ever know) for another woman is foolish. Notice, I didn't say any man willing to leave his family for reasons associated with his private family life, is foolish.

If you didn't want to break up a happy home, then the idea of even wanting this man, even after his divorce would not have even been considered or contemplated in your mind. A couple who has been married for 9 years with 2 kids doesn't just sign the divorce papers & go on to live perfect fairy tale lives. Any time there is a divorce, there are always strings attached. He won't be done with his wife even after the divorce b/c of the kids, so technically even if he divorced his wife, his wife would not be out of the picture, thus you'd still be possibly breaking up a happy home

The OLDEST TRICK IN THE BOOK married men use to attract single women is to get them to believe that they're not usually the types to fall for or seek any women outside of the marriage. And if this were true, he wouldn't even know who you are and/or that you even exist. The reason that he knows who you are & that you even exist is b/c he did exactly what he said he doesn't "normally do" & that's put himself in situations that might jeopardize his marriage & his family life. He knew exactly what he was doing. Married men use the "I don't normally do this" trick when they spot a woman that seems to be bothered by their marriage. They use this trick to ensure that the woman they are having an emotional/physical affair with doesn't consider leaving before they are done using her and/or filling the void they need filled.

You two already had an affair. The fact that he even considered leaving his family for you signifies that he's allowed himself to emotionally get involved with a woman other than his wife, & honey this is called CHEATING (emotionally). Just b/c you haven't slept with him doesn't make this any less cheating. The fact that he met up with you & kept his marriage from you for awhile lets you know that he wasn't content in telling you for a reason. If this man was really done with his marriage and/or was willing to give his marriage up so quickly, that's the FIRST thing he would've told you. This man is a coward; instead of being honest that he wants to step outside of the marriage & have his cake & eat it too, he'd rather throw his family under the bus just to ensure that he keeps getting all the benefits that you're offering him, whether it's good conversation, an occasional ego boost or great sex. The fact that he even met up with you is an affair in itself b/c married men have no business entertaining single women that are seeking love. After all, they're married (happily or not) which means women like you should be just as OFF-LIMITS the way he should be just as off-limits to you too.

If this man was truly discontent with his marriage, he would end up, regardless of whether he found another woman or not. The fact that he hasn't left his wife yet & the fact that he wasn't upfront about his marriage signifies that he's still getting some kind of fulfillment in his marriage. Sure, he might've hit a rough patch in his marriage, but I'm sure the rough patch is fixable & will come over time. And he knows this, which is why he hasn't left her yet. Right now, his natural instinct is to try to get his needs fulfilled elsewhere & you were probably the 1st person willing to enter into the ring of fire with him, thus he's holding on b/c you were the only person verus him holding on b/c he actually loves and/or cares about you AS a person. There's a difference.

And secondly, the number one rule in just relationships is that you never emotionally involve yourself with someone who IS already in a relationship and/OR who just got out of a relationship. The emotional baggage is unbelievable. And not to mention, this guy has been married for 9 years. There's no telling how many years they were together before the marriage. Understand that even if this guy does want to leave his wife, it's unrealistic to think that just b/c the divorce papers get signed that he won't ever have to stop, think about and/or deal with the emotional attachment & baggage left over from the marriage. And if you want the REAL thing (love) then the worst way to maintain this desire is to involve yourself with someone who is already taken & is half shared. If you don't have respect for his wife, atleast have the respect for his kids. If he wants to leave his family for reasons not involving his affairs with you and/or other women, let him. But atleast let him go through the process of finishing what he started first. Let him go, let him take plenty of time to recover from & to ensure that he made the RIGHT decision by divorcing and THEN, if you even still want him, make your move. But preying on a married man is not cute, something to crave and/or something to look forward to, in terms of things going further. There are 7.8 BILLION people on this earth. You mean to tell me that you can't find someone else out there who can tickle your fancy the same way this married man can? If your answer was no, then you might need to work on self-esteem and/or your own worth. Suck it up & quit chasing after what's not meant to be yours.

It was 1 thing to stay when you didn't know about his marriage, but it's another thing to continue to stay around (even emotionally) after knowing. Be honest, you want this man all to yourself, regardless of who has to get hurt in the process of you getting your man. Imagine if you were his wife with his 2 kids & you found out that he let some internet or over-the-counter romance have the power to take everything that you've earned, put your heart into & built away from you. Of course you really like him. He probably is an admirable guy, that's why SOMEONE ELSE married him. He's married b/c you're not the only person to think this guy was hot stuff. But there should be a boundary & a limit & some self-esteem here. You need to let this guy go & assume that you are worth it enough to find someone else that you can connect with just as well. Letting your emotions control your logic will destroy even the things that were meant to be, if it gets out of control.

You nor him knows that what you 2 have will be solid & unbreakable & I don't think it's worth him and/Or you taking the risk of leaving a marriage over something that is not even for sure. That's just foolish. You 2 are just people who are being selfish. He wants to have his cake & eat it too (you AND his marriage, which I'm sure his wife isn't okay with). And you want him even though he's not yours & is someone else's. And RULE NUMBER 1: Love is not selfish. If anything his marriage will end b/c of his emotional & possible infidelities, versus b/c he actually drug himself down to the courthouse to file the papers (without all the cheating attached). If he won't have some bals & some loyalty towards his own family, then YOU can atleast leave & not involve yourself in such a love triangle. It's okay to like a married man and/or admire him, no different than it's okay to think the pretty blonde walking down the street is pretty. But actually contemplating and/or considering making that person YOURS is a different story & will come back as karma 10-fold.

Honey, like you said, you're on the world wide web asking a question that might hit close to home for others. For all you know, you might get responses from women that are going through this same things with their husbands, or from women who've been divorced b/c they found out their husbands were emotionally attached to someone else, etc. It's not that we live our lives just to tear you down; trust me, we don't. But when you ask a question like that that is highly debatable, you can't then go back & try to edit our responses. How we felt is how we felt & of course, there's always the possibility that you take something more offensively when it's in writing, versus if we were all face to face with you telling you the same thing.

My goal isn't to tear you down; after all, what in the hell would I get from doing so? All I know about you is your username on this website. I'd need alot more ammunition then that. So first off, when you ask for advice w/o explaining the situation with details, understand that it leaves room for others to assume, judge and/or use their imagination. And most importantly, it leaves room for people to say the things that you don't want to hear. From what you shared with me, I didn't have a choice but to form my opinion based on what you had shared, & I'm sorry that you know all the little perks in between; but honey, we don't so don't hold us accountable if we "don't know the whole story" b/c you are the poster & your responsibility is to give enough insight into the situation that people can form well-rounded opinoins like you asked them too. And plus, yes some people might actually think your whole situation (big picture) as a whole is one without morals & self-esteem. After all, they might really feel that way. You might not agree, but to say that others who have different opinions of yours are purposely trying to make themselves feel better by giving their honest opinion makes you appear like someone who wasn't really ready for the reality check after all

I never said you were a bad person for liking this married man. Never. The part of your story that bothered me & triggerred all the "esteem" talk came in the sentence where you talked about lowkey wanting him to leave his family & marriage for you. That part bothered me & honey, I'm sure if you were his WIFE, it'd bother you too. Think in the logic for a moment & don't get so offensive when people make their assumptions. The big picture is that you mentally entertain (even if you never talk or see him anymore) a man that is already married, & this in itself is not a healthy thing for you b/c it'll always leave the "what ifs" & can sometimes lead your emotions to get the best of you. That's all I was saying. Sure, you left the situation but your heart hasn't left the situation yet which is why you are STILL talking about this. And the bigger message that I wanted you to receive was that it's torture to continue going back & forth about something so tempting, but yet so unsecure. It all starts with detaching from that man, just to go home & secretely whisper to yourself that "man, I lowkey do want him to leave them for me" & the next thing you know it, your cravings & the selfishness in you (that every human being has) could possibly lead you right back to him. After all, like you said, the connection b/w you 2 isn't just puppy love; it's the real thing. And b/c love is the strongest emotion known to man, I just wanted you to remember that you've got to emotionally detach from the situation just like you did physically & in terms of actual contact.

Your situation is common. And to a point, we don't necessarily always need the smallest little details to form a correct opinion (in your eyes) b/c most of the time, it's a DIFFERENT SITUATION BUT SAME PRINCIPLE. And what we are all seeing is 2 people emotionally yearning for eachother (in private) when they shouldn't be, b/c of the consequences & affects it can cause in other's lives. My point was that this whole thing is just bigger than you & him. There are lots of people who would be affected, in the case that one day your emotions got the best of you (very common). My goal wasn't to judge you, it was to help you look at things from someone else's point of view. I gave you exactly what you asked for.

This is 2013! A person does not have to stay married forever. There are 2 people in a marriage. And over time these 2 people both change. If a man or woman wants out it is their right. Thinking a person has to stay married to you forever is antiquated. And saying he or she does not love their children is deplorable and indicates your meanness and small minded ness to placed this on innocent children. Children are not part of divorce. There are children with or with out a marriage '
contract". Get with the times people.....we do not live in grass huts or harm others because they make choices we dont agree with. On the other hand, lady if you man has make a choice, you must accept it and go on. We must accepts other's choices.

Kiddos to you all for your thoughts and writing. CANAVAR deletes her/his posts ... so there isn't a further need to offer any further suggestions or recommendations.

Canavar, you would be wise to refrain from messing around with married people.

You mess with a married person, and it's an instant case of bad karma.

I have had a few opportunities to mess around with married girls before, but I never, EVER went after it.

Too much destruction, anger, pain, sorrow and chaos will result from it, which is why I wouldn't recommend it to ANYONE.