OK, am I just picky or is this guy F'ed?!!

Yikes, in a month & a half this guy has gone from amazing to annoying! What happened? -little things are irritating me to death already.

Good things
1. sweet and gives attention
2. cute
3. always has time for me

Bad things
1. when i leave on trip he texts "be good"(nothing else) - what the fukk is that?!!
2. has taken me out ONCE for dinner & yet when he comes down he eats food every time (i am a kickA $ $ chef 😉 ) and drinks (oh, i mean guzzles like beer) my nice $ 20-30 bottles of wine i pick up.
3. really doesn't seem concerned whatsoever about what I'd like to do, and drags me into his plans which are hard for me to get into, (his friends, his places)
4. so when he misses me he goes out and is a basket case so when i finally have time he is broke, hurtin' and tired. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
5. oh and last night i told him i was baking stuff for a X-mas party and had just finished (i had slaved in kitchen for 2 hours) so he says it smells good, i offer him some to try "some", and he eats HALF of what i baked like a PIG!!! I joked that he'll have to bake the next batch now as i toke away the plate fuming

I really am searching for good things, but i am too mad at the little things, or are they little?

Don't tell me "I told you so" Sag babe!!! lol

Oh, he's a scorp for the record.

OMG, immature may have nailed it. I think I'm running. 😢 Lonely for christmas.

Hey, opps I forgot, I LOVE being single! 🙂

Gem, single is ALWAYS better than a bad relationship.

I am a bit of a quiet critic I guess. Me & my roomie sound like Seinfeld & Elaine when we talk about people we meet! lol (ie. man hands, the growing nose, the laugh...)

I guess I can say he loves my cooking and feel good about that, but it just seems like he's missing some links that are important to me. I guess I should be more vocal cuz he does care, just doesn't know how. I'm always lacked in my communication skills though. 😢 I guess that's why I often feel so alone in the world. Thank Sagbaby. Miss you.

I wonder if me looking for problems is just me finding my way out of something I am scared of. Man, I'm pathetic!

"Once we LIVE together"?!!! I don't think so babe! I ain't living with NO man. haha, my gay roomate does it for me. lol

Little things, or lacking some serious class? Some things mean little to some people & some things mean a little more.

eg. I care how you drink your wine and if you open the door for me & yet I love the idea of my man asking me to push the car out of a mud puddle. way hooooooot, hehe...happened once, me & ex were 20 ft into a big muddy road & i was pushing & he sprayed me bad, then he came out of truck,& I threw $ hitloads of mudballs at him & after an hour of playing and fighting we swallowed our pride and walked to the next house to ask for help.

There's a difference, some people just don't get it.

ya that guy was a wimp, skinny metis boy. I've never laughed so hard with a guy though. I think he hates me now though. 😢

I sometimes offer to push cuz I trust that more than my ability to drive out of a mess.

"you sound like you are putting me on trial here"

Hey, maybe I'm getting off on putting you on trail. mmmmmmmmm hubba hubba grrrrrrrr lickity lick lick

TG.Emmm,wouldn't say they're critical things but you may want to speak up a little more about the annoyances,that way you can really find out what his view of it is ya know he may just not be thinking it's a deal at all if he's the more average dude-just being thoughtless basically.

Sagi,think back one or two days it IS most likely food poisoning to hit you all of a sudden like that but it will be from what you eat 24 to 48 hours before it gets to actually affecting you.About one or two days it will last as well if it is just food poisoning,any longer than that and your actually sick with something.

Main problem I see in that scorp is iNcOsIdErAtIoN, probably not on purpose but ya annoying. I hate it when people get toooo comfortable like that, I don't care how long I've known someone- never take "this is your house" to heart, it's not! You don't go into anyones house and guzzle all of their wine... ?? You're not being picky... because you sound too much like me when finding annoyances in men 🙂 I'mmmm not picky. It's the little things that count. You deserve better... ofcourse you could always let him take you out sometime but never invite him over again 😛

"ofcourse you could always let him take you out sometime but never invite him over again" - You evil woman! haha

Sagbaby, what time should i pick you up at airport?

Man, I saw Scorp yesterday, we went out to a comedy show yesterday, of course with a bunch of his friends and it was fun. I think bottom line, I like the guy, but we're no match made in heaven. He's getting all serious on me too, asking so many questions and I feel a little uncomfortable. He's like I'm scared of being hurt are you going to treat me good? and I'm like YOU ARE SCARING ME OFF!!! LIke, as if I don't think about that. I don't know, I really need my own time to reflect I think. I hate being pushed. I AM THE BULL!!! Putting my little peeves aside he is a great person, but I can't handle moving along so fast. I mean all my relationships that went sour in past were the ones that moved too fast. If this guy is scared of being hurt then why the H is he acting this way?

Sag, I don't feel good, coughing, tired, owie tummy, rub my hooves? hehe, I am such a suck. 🙂

What's with all of the emotional faces on this page?!! Are the bulls being emotional these days?

(big grin) ...okay, make yourself at home! horns?

TG.Emmm,wouldn't say they're critical things but you may want to speak up a little more about the annoyances,that way you can really find out what his view of it is ya know he may just not be thinking it's a deal at all if he's the more average dude-just being thoughtless basically.

No, I think it's pretty major. TG....RUN! RUN NOW!
This sounds exactly like what I had the misfortune of marrying (my last Scorp)! He kept these traits well hidden (for 4 years!) and then once he had me where he wanted me, started taking advantage of my good nature....that is, eating and expecting to be fed, but never cooking or even chipping in for groceries. If we went out, it was because I paid, or we stayed home. Then of course, this kind of disrespect starts to infiltrate all aspects of daily life. Basically, I became a peon.
Believe me, I communicated my dissatisfaction with this set up...to no avail. He would try and be a bit more considerate, but it usually would last about 2 months before he would slide back into his usual pattern.
You are actually lucky to be able to see this happening in such a short period of time. It is very telling of the kind of person he is. Sure, he cares about you (to see to his needs). Sure he loves you (to feed him and prop him up when he needs that). Who wouldn't? What he is missing is the fact that it takes you time and effort and cold hard cash that you sacrifice your precious life to earn, and that should be treated with utmost reverence and RESPECT! Giving others that kind of respect is not a strong point for the Scorpio male, I have found out the hard way.
Wow, I am pissed at him and I don't even know him!

Okay since we're associating the signs to personal experiances with the topics again,changing your mind and agreeing with that statement after branh posts it is the libra indecisiveness people talk about.Don't act like one thing is something to get dramatic about(when a scorp posts it;personal experiance based on a "starsign") and then turn around and say the same thing when someone else(a virgo) says it😉Honestly I don't care what decision is reached but was thinking of a post that I think was her on the cap board posted stating that ass holes were the only people around when she wants someone to be around,she needs to speak up if she wants to at least try to remain friends with people not just this particular person either.Shes also scared of being hurt herself with this too and may be panicing because of the old ones that moved too fast so it all needs to be looked at equally not just the few things about him that reminds you of a scorp cause not all of them are like that and some in particular myself are workoholics and get complained about because I work too much(my own money and properties with no assistance).She should be asking herself the same questions to be sure of whats going on with her as well,she likes the guy but it's scaring her due to the past,everyone gets like that when it's new unless they're lying or psychotic lol.🙂

Sorry Tia, but I found that last post a bit hard to follow? Who is posting what to whom and where?

Meaning you replied to my post as if it's a crime to talk about it with him after I'd already been at the scorp board to see a post from you that agrees with branh whom basically says the same thing and it was only a few minutes from this thread to that thread in times to change your mind on it."Playing favorites much?"is what it looks like it is,what it means and thats why some people talk about libras not making up thier minds and only say things to give them what they want to hear as to why they don't trust them too much if we are to be replying to topics only based on starsigns.You pointed out my post and I responded due to catching the contradiction in it compared to the next post about the same topic only depending on whom it was being responded to.

lol,I know sag but it's still quite common for people to get scared when in a new relationship especially if they have old baggage coming into it too and there still not be something wrong with them or anything as to them being a bit scared about it.

On the Scorpio board, I posted:
"I have to agree with Branh there, that you need to be vocal when you are hurtin. But I also have to add, that doesn't always work. I think you are seeing this guys true colours TG, and these patterns that are developing are deeply ingrained and talking them out will just result in him covering up what you don't like in a cosmetic kind of way. Give it a try, just to cover your ass. That way you can say "I TOLD you that I don't like (this or that)" "

On this board, I posted:
"Believe me, I communicated my dissatisfaction with this set up...to no avail. He would try and be a bit more considerate, but it usually would last about 2 months before he would slide back into his usual pattern."

What I was saying in both posts is that you can speak up all you want, but the kind of behaviour we are talking about is indicative of a much bigger problem. No indecision or inconsistency there at all, that I can see. I think that I may have worded my responses slightly differently, but then again, the posts that I were responding to were not exactly the same either. I felt you were saying that the things that TG was finding hard to deal with were somehow minor, or not "critical" and could easily be cleared up with a little chat with the guy. Those things weren't listed in detail on the other thread and people posting there may not have read this one.
Sorry, I didn't mean to single anyone out or play favourites. I just call em as I see em. I also don't think that I ever posted anything on the capricorn board since I have been coming to this forum (unless I had a few beers in me and don't remember...lol)

And I never meant to imply that it was a crime to talk to the guy, geez. Just that I didn't think it would do FA.

*puts a "warning" label on her forehead*

Not you on the cap board,TG,im not going to kiss ass and act like I didn't read this post from her when replying to topics about this person that I don't know when I know she has issues with not really being happy about being "single" when theres a contradiction in it that states she doesn't like how nice people aren't around when she want sthem to be.

"MyCap, you freaked me out! You sound like me to a T. I was convincing myself I am just meeting the wrong people, but have now FINALLY concluded that I have commitment-issue syndrome. I've met some awesome people in my life and just dissappear or get turned off when things get too close, yet when I need that closeness there is nothing but A $ $ holes. haha, let's call it karma? I keep telling myself, stay, relax, -like this scorp is great to me, but another side is pulling me away with force. What is it? "


It would help when she doesn't run away blaming it all on him when she has issues herself with this,if she wants to remain friends with this guy or any of the other people she will encounter she'll have to do so by talking to them,I don't care about saying what is honest when she post a question about her relationship when I have other posts from her stating her own issues to this whole thing too.If people want honest answers to thier questions they should be willing to except them,it's called maturity and reflection on yourself before looking at the situation with a twisted version of it because of the fears she has in her head.I call it as I see it too and see it as she's not really looking for the good and is only concentrating on the bad,she asked that question she got it.

Ok, but talking only works when the other party says AND does what they mean. It requires maturity and self reflection from both sides. This guy sounds like he is saying one thing and doing the opposite. So I can completely understand the confusion that this causes. I also know that feeling like that can make you think that there is something going on within yourself when there may not be. I don't know either one of them personally either, and yes, we are only getting one side of the story here. But it is sounding very very familiar to me, so I can relate. Everyone has there own approach to these things, though. Everyone also has their own levels of tolerance, too. Admission of fear and calling things into question is not a sign of immaturity. I think that statement was rather harsh.

Well, you guys are right about taurus's wanting the ready made deal. I'm not into being the training or controling girlfriend at all. If I like someone why would I want to change them? Sure, people grow together (or should to some degree) but if people just clash I feel like maybe there's someone better matched for him or myself. I'll appreciate him for who he is, he's there for me and soothing when I need a friend, but I don't think I want to bother changing or pointing out things that just shouldn't matter. I just hope I can do things the right way.

Yep TG, I think you are on the right track there. I know, it can sound a bit like "all about me" but in the end, in your life, who else is there? Take care of Number One, then you can say you have lived a life with no regrets.

Well sh1t, I'm considering him too, I mean how can anyone be happy if the person they love doesn't feel the same way? I don't want to make someone feel unloved. That's the LAST thing I want to do. I am not into 1 sided relationships, whichever way it goes.

Think back to the cancer guy who just got all sensitive on you and ditched you,it didn't feel good so thats the main thing im going with on this.It needs communication,not saying to stay with him if you really don't want to just the communication needs done and will help big time to things that could work out even if it is just on a friend level.Being honest IS the best policy even when it hurts and if he can't handle it then he's not worth your time but it's never completely one persons fault when the consequences come out.Like focusing on the jerks only being around when you need a good friend thing you don't like it too much so it's attempting to change things before it happens that needs to be done to change what you don't like such as speaking if theres a problem.It's not like you'd be asking him to jump off a bridge or something to be more considerate to you in terms of the wine and food being as it's money,it's actually a very reasonable thing to ask for that only an idiot would not see it that way if they were the one it was happening to but yeah the YOU have to be less of a silent critic to get what you want when it comes to having good people around when you need them to be.A good person who does care about you will take things into consideration even if it does take you saying something to get it.It's okay to say you don't like this and that,then it rests on that person and the willingness to be openminded enough to actually let them change,it is possible if he does really care about you.Tell him the real reasons you don't want to be with him when you break up though cause if you use these little things to be the reason it will backfire because it shows you aren't good at wanting to put your half of the effort into it when it comes to working things out,it's a good base building of relationships(including friendships) when honesty that may hurt is used.

Thanks Tiamat,

that's the sweetest levelheaded thing I've heard about this situation. I could almost hear a gentle voice when reading it. hmmm is that weird of me to make up voices for each person on the threads? eeek I gotta see a shrink!
Anyways, I am talking to scorpman, I'm just taking a day at a time, we're communicating a little better, but I really don't think it is something for the future. He is one of the sweetest, soothing, gentlehearted people I know, and would hate to lose a person like that, but I also want to be true to myself & him. I just am taking my time to think, and also just to be around him and see how things go. I won't do something irrational, it is afterall someone I care about. I do realize now that I must be very open & honest if I want to keep him in my life, whichever way that is. Thanks.

It's not impossible to keep someone in your life after a break up. That requires more work and communication than staying together sometimes. But I will stick to my guns on the "people can change" thing. If they can, then I don't know if I would want to be with them either. How could I fully respect them? I would also be living in fear of their forthcoming resentment, too.

"hmmm is that weird of me to make up voices for each person on the threads?"

No, I do it too on the threads or whatever it is that I read. I also imagine what faces they could be making or how they look while typing and when there's and exclamation mark... ! ... I can see them yelling at the computer, 🙂 or smiling and so forth. It's a world in here! lol

"How could I fully respect them? I would also be living in fear of their forthcoming resentment, too."

Well,it utimately depends on the person true,but dunno about all of it being like that.I can take the "negativity" from someone when it's true and an honest opinion without the resentment,thats why I think maturity plays on the side of the reciever too.I think it gets into resentment when the person is just straight up critcising the person to only be negative without a real reason for it so it's still a roulette wheel spin on the outcome,I think people just deserve the chance to see it for themselves and try to change it if they want to.Not everyone has issues with looking in the mirror and seeing the error of thier ways when they are actual problems and not just someone trying to be "mean" to them,if theres a "astrology" reason for this thinking it'd probably be the taurus and all the sag for the blunt honesty and then the scorp and virgos in my chart linking it together on the introversion factor with again the sag coming through with the optimism more than thinking it's impossible.It's kinda a if you can be honest with other people you should be able to be honest with yourself too thinking,give and take or if you can dish you should be able to handle it in that aspect as well I guess.

Very true, Tia. It has to be a two-way street in order for any kind of constructive growth to happen. So often though, people are so wrapped up in themselves and so set in their ways, I have lost faith.