Scorpio Female Wondering WTH? (Novel) (Page 3)

Posted by TaurusLovesScorpio
Interesting, it was six months of no sex that preceded my divorce as well. We both kind of starved each other out, because of how we had grown apart emotionally. She cheated though; I was nowhere near even thinking about that, even though marriage was torture a that point. I have done everything in my power to maintain a friendship with her though, mainly for my daughter's sake, and it has worked. We communicate really well. I pm'ed you....

I can't starve anyone out ... I don't have the patience and I need love/attention/sex way to much to withhold. If you aren't giving it, I will hunt you down and take it from you. But as a female it gets so old to always do the chasing and never be chased. Also, that just fed into the sickness. The more I tried, the more he withheld - the more in control he felt. That is the addiction, the control.

Got your PM. Right back at you.

Posted by jeannegrey
TLS,

How successful is he? Well in terms of money, I think he actually makes more than I do. But in terms of happiness I think he is miserable in his current job. Never went to grad school whereas I did, I think he wants to but is either afraid of change or isn't sure what he wants to go for.....

I can see him being insecure about maybe not succeeding in another realm, and staying where he's at to ensure his position in life. Something about a Scorpio woman brings out insecurities like no other. We can just tell you have very high standards, and our lazy arses will have to be at the top of our game. That's how it feels anyway. There's something frightening about that - the fear that you will hit a tipping point where you no longer respect us because we don't approach life like you, or at your pace. Scorps seem more assertive and aggressive, and more inclined to willfully bend reality to their liking, hack their way through dangerous territory fearlessly, etc. Bulls tend to attract - let things come to them, and often take the path of least resistance, even though we have great endurance and drive once set to a task. It tends to be easy for me to live very comfortably without too much effort. I do have *dreams* but they are not these huge ambitions of ever-escalating success. They are more about being expressive and creative, and being able to enjoy life in that regard.

Its a dilemma if I had to consider the respective style s of living/loving -

The Scorp - high standards, will push and motivate me; I achieve more than I could otherwise and probably live a more powerful and exciting life. But I live in fear letting her down, falling short, maybe not comparing to other more driven men she sees in her life.

The SO - couldn't care less if I was a garbage man or plumber making minimum wage. Total acceptance for who/whatever I am. Not concerned with my status at all. But I am much less motivated in life to achieve anything significant.

Posted by jeannegrey
... I guess that's proof that he feels like I do. I just don;t understand why he is so timid with me, especially when his is so alpha in every other aspect of his life

I would say so. Do you ask him if he really means stuff like that? And scold him severely if he says he's joking? How can you not reveal how you feel? I will never understand this with the Scorps. This is like your biggest fear.

Yes I am insecure with her; I think all people have many insecurities. A person ought to be insecure in the face of another sometimes IMO. Some people *really* are out of your league in life. And that's just how she feels, plus her physical beauty is overwhelming. All of my insecurities are brought to the surface with her. I would probably be less afraid of a lion standing in front of me, than I am of approaching her. Its the energy of it all, espec. with all the tension we've built up. My strengths are in how I can fully express my feelings and be vulnerable and utterly honest, *once* communication starts, and I know this is clearly not her strength. She finds her confidence in her ability to seduce at a distance. It complicates things bc I already KNOW Scorps don't like weakness and lack of confidence, so I always feared her SEEING that in me, and that made it even worse. I felt stronger and more confident to ignore her...lol. I've been with beautiful and confident women, but they always would approach me. I have no experience chasing. And yes I can see she feels HUMLIATED to have to approach me. And then ON TOP OF THAT, I still dodge when she does. LOL, *my* situation is hopeless. She is hilarious. She would charge in and be right next to me, maybe even say something. Then I look at her to engage? And her head is down, hair in her face, or she is just kinda half-hovering not looking at me like she was talking to herself....lol. And a couple times, I just kinda walked away, and then? She WAS SO PISSED! lol, she did a drive-by and gave me a look like she was about to MURDER ME. I laughed because I've never seen such a frightening look on a woman's face...hahahahaha. When you folks get mad it is SERIOUS..lol.

Posted by jeannegrey
I mean if he never wanted to do a damn thing again and watch sunday sports every weekend and go t his job for the next 40 years, I wouldn't care

You need to tell him that line about not caring if he didn't do anything. Believe me when I tell you that that is the reassurance/insurance a bull is looking for. We are not designed to take big risks in life in career or romance. He wants the GUARANTEE that you would be there no matter what he was, and then if that is there, he will flourish and strive harder and want to impress you. Scorps have no problem risking, failing, rising again. You're blessed with that resilience and power of regeneration. Bulls, not so much (on our own at least). And trust me, not only do I say and often believe that line about "you need someone like X" to women I am courting (and it IS ALWAYS the alpha/confident type I'm recommending), I have already planned to say it if I talk to the Scorp. This is Taurean courtship...lol. "Let me be your relationship coach". LOL. We simultaneously get to air out our insecurities, boost your ego and compliment you, feel you out to see what you really value and how much you want us, and we are still courting you in the "hard to get" sense because we're essentially pushing you away and saying "we're not the best fit". Its a real twisted sort of thing, bc yes its an "its not you; its me" line, BUT we're being honest and you can tell. We really do see you with someone better than us, bc we think so highly of you. Trust me, it works. Oh wait, you know that. Hahhahahah...

yeah, you Scorps are heavy on the control...lol. I never fear anyone controlling me when I express how I feel. If someone tries to take advantage of me, my feelings quickly change. lol. I would LOVE to have the chance to tell her everything. And also to show her, that that doesn't mean she has any power over me at all. I am not with her now, and don't have to be ever; I probably never will be. I DO have the deepest feelings for her though. I think for you, you have to get to a place where you're just willing to be honest with him for YOUR sake, and you're fine with whatever he decides. If this man rejects you when you are MOST exposed - when you are as much of the real you as you can be? He is just not the one for you and at least you will know, and the truth will have set you free in that sense. That's just how I think I guess naturally.

Posted by jeannegrey
you are sort of betraying your lady love with your emotions? I just feel like I wouldn't be able to give a relationship what it deserves if I felt this way about someone else. I mean, I have done it ( I have dated other people in the last 10 years...) but I don't feel able to really give my all to those relationships and i feel bad about that.

My Venus in Gemini is really slippery. It does all sorts of mental jiu jitsu to justify things. Firstly, I can be in love with two people at the same time; it is just a fact for me. I see and feel many different kinds of love from people. I don't WANT to be with my main romantic interest, but in this case its a bit of a necessity now. I will reason like this - have *II betrayed her with my emotions? Or has the MOST involuntary part of me betrayed her? Haven't I been loyal with my actions and mind, even though my emotions are involuntarily what they are? From the start I have done so much to AVOID this person. She would be taking the elevator; I'd take the stairs. She'd walk down the hallway and I'd take a different route to avoid her. She approaches and wants to smalltalk? I walk away silent. There are a lot of components to a person. If my mind and my will resist her, even though my heart can't help but be smitten, isn't that worth something? But my heart/feelings have betrayed my SO; and they've betrayed me. I choose to fight against them and my mind and will are stronger than my emotions so far.

I admit I have opened doors from time to time though, with just the way I've looked at her. I made things worse. I showed her how I felt and seduced her in turn with just the looks I gave. I never realized how much could be conveyed through a look. I've tried to make up for it by ignoring her hard; she's relentless though. She knows she can get me to open that door again if I see her dancing enough through the peephole. The sickest thing is that *because* I really do care about her, one of my biggest concerns is that she would feel rejected now, or believe the lie that I am *not* really attracted to her anymore. I know what her ego wants, so I give her that attention from time to time.

Posted by Impulsv

2 years sorry but this can go as long as 4 years lol

There are exceptions...lol.

Posted by jeannegrey

SO what do I say to that? "NO, I don't want those, I want you!!! YOU YOU YOU!" — I am already dragging my pride through the mud here....
Is that what I should do, just say no, I don't want those types, I want you?

Yes, of course. That's not dragging your pride through the mud. Its being honest. Take pride in being truthful. After all, don't you really value and respect people who are honest? Isn't that what you seek in a partner? Wouldn't you rather hear the darker confessions of a man you are in love with, than be in a fake relationship where you hide the truth? Doesn't that allow for a deeper love when you can know someone for who they REALLY are? Then give him the same. And about him not reassuring when you talked about moving to CA, remember, part of him is scared of you - juuuust like everyone else. You're a Scorp. You're kinda scary.

Posted by jeannegrey
Yea, I think I am there. Ready to say how I really feel and not care.

Between now and then, your fear is going to try to give you a million reasons why you can't actually do it fully. Don't give in.

Posted by Impulsv
He thinks he is boring and mundane and I have thins exciting life, but I don' care about that, I don't know why he can't accept that!!

Bulls often experience past hurt - especially about being mundane/boring. Its true; we are a bit boring. Its because we can at times be so content and accepting, and just enjoy what IS. That is why we settle down with the person who is easy to please and accepts us fully. When we are with someone we love, we are HAPPY, content, at peace. We can just BE there with them, and be in this zen state in total bliss - in silence, motionless, next to them. We FEEL the love and contentment so deeply; its magical to be in their presence. We don't crave excitement like Scorps and are afraid you will LOSE interest if we don't entertain you, keep things new and exciting and different. We don't need that for ourselves, so we aren't always good at being that way. You say you don't care. And why can't he accept it.

He doesn't accept it because he doesn't believe it. Be more convincing if its true. Even if he comes to believe it though, he questions whether it'll always be the case. He feels with time, things will change. How can you assure/guarantee something when feelings DO change? That's what a bull offers you, undying loyalty regardless of the ebb and flow of emotions. Can you offer that in return and sincerely? If its not sincere, don't offer it.

Posted by jeannegrey
OOOOONNNEEEE more thing. You say you don't wanna be in your current relationship? What would it take for you to break up with her? I read somewhere once that Taurus will stay in a relationship far and beyond longer than they really should (after the relationship has gone bad). What is the deciding factor? Does she have to pull the plug? Is it only cheating that would make you break it off with someone?

You got it.

Posted by jeannegrey
I'll tell you why its dragging my pride through the mud. Because you guys force us to be exposed first. You force US to put ourselves out there while you are still protected underneath your security blanket. I have to say how I feel, jugular exposed and wait to see if he laughs in my face. Not cool.

In your reiteration of his words, I can see so clearly how he's being vulnerable. He is asking you so many questions in the things he's saying, sharing ALL of his insecurities. You just have to know how to read him. You know how many times I have said the things he is saying? LOL.

Its your fear that makes it seem like only you are so exposed. Scorps fear being controlled by revealing emotions, but maybe even more being vulnerable and then being made a fool of for it. The ego really takes a blow there. You really think he's going to do that? You should know. What kind of man would he be? If he was that way, didn't you just learn that he couldnt' be less worth your time? Isn't that valuable? Sounds to me like it is. 11 years is a lot of time. (as an aside, we laugh when nervous and think awkward situations are funny so don't be too quick to judge inappropriate laughter in emotional contexts; it could mean something TOTALLY different than what you think it does - ASK if he ever laughs in a way that's hurtful).

If I were to reveal my DEEP feelings for a person that I had your kind of relationship with? I would expect that they would TOTALLY respect and understand why I HAD to do that, and even if they weren't there, they wouldn't judge me AT ALL. And that they would see why it was so necessary to clear it all out - eliminate any delusions or confusion, so if things are not going to ever go that way, I can be free and move on. This is no major thing either - often at points in a relationship one party wants more and another is not there. I would think a real female friend, let alone someone I've been intimate with, would truly respect that level of honesty.

Posted by jeannegrey
So what if she found out you cheated on her cause the Scorp told her about it ? would you be mad? or relieved? (sorry, I know, thats fucked up)

knock on wood here, but if any woman on earth could ever get me to physically cheat, I'd have to reassess every aspect of my existence starting with whether or not I actually even exist, like Descartes. Its impossible for me to imagine the scenario, almost like asking "would you try to cover it up if you premeditated the murder of your own child?". But I will say that if I ever physically cheated on my SO, I could never be angry with it being exposed in any way; I brought it on myself.

Have I fantasized about someone revealing all this to my SO? All it would take was for me to leave my computer unlocked, and her to snoop. And yes, I've considered it. If she hurts, I hurt though. Sure, there's the thought of a chance to be with the Scorp if we broke up. But is it worth the pain I put her through? If it was in my estimation, I'd already be with the Scorp.

Posted by jeannegrey
I never thought I would be this girl. The 'other' girl. But I guess I am. I want them to break up but I think it would have to be her to do the breaking, I feel like he wouldn't do it, especially since I am as you say, 'exciting and risk taking' moving all over the world. He said, I move too much, its hard to keep up.

He's settling. He obviously doesn't desire to be with her long-term. You would just really have to show him how serious you are. I don't know how you can do that if you are all over the globe and he is in one spot. How would it work? Bulls are practical; you'd both have to figure out HOW it could possibly work.

Posted by Impulsv


It's true about needing excitement but life has taught me I seek my own excite won't need him to provide it for me as long as I'm free to pursue my hobbies. Is that too much to ask is that scary for a Taurus. I don't need emotional drama I just need freedom but will remain loyal till the end of time. Is that a dichotomy. Free but loyal.

I think that's perfect. We just know we can't always be someone else's excitement, bc we can't gauge or even understand their constant need. And free but loyal sounds good in theory, but the foundation of trust has to be there and REALLY strong for that, or it will fail in practice.

Posted by jeannegrey
oh and BTW, every single one of our planets is opposite the other. talk about crazy energy. He is taurus sun, virgo moon, gemini rising, I am scorp sun, pisces moon, sag rising. and my venus is opposite his mars and his mars is opposite my venus.

Hahahhaah....that's pretty crazy. My Scorp has Taurus moon which I think makes the attraction stronger. We also have opposite North Nodes (libra/aries), which, in NN Astrology basically means that my past incarnations have been about the lessons she needs to learn in this life, and vice versa. That's always been one of the reasons I wanted to be close to her in some way actually. We both are strong in areas the other needs.

South Node conjunct North Node in Synastry: The South Node represents —where we've been,?? while the North Node represents —where we??re going.?? This synastry aspect indicates each person has developed the traits and qualities the other needs for their personal growth. As such, this is a very significant synastry connection. The two of you have met before, and will meet again. This bond is considered —unbreakable?? to many astrologers.

https://starscopestoday.wordpress.com/tag/north-node-conjunct-south-node-synastry/<BR>

LOL...awesome!

TLS....After reading this entire thread and knowing you like I do.....you are really pushing me closer to revealing my true feelings for him. It is so scary but at the same time, could be life changing. (Or life shattering...).
Thank you all for sharing your thoughts....so many things in this thread have hit so close to home...

Posted by scorpiogirl99
TLS....After reading this entire thread and knowing you like I do.....you are really pushing me closer to revealing my true feelings for him. It is so scary but at the same time, could be life changing...

LOL...that's the plan.

It's not going to work out. Sorry. Best wishes and stay strong..

Yeah I guage questions too. Lol I don't condone in cheating whatsoever.. Protect the hearts people, people really like to screw up. And then wonder why we can let go without crying. We warn. People should just be honest, loyal, truthful we can talk. And compromise and forgive but constantly wondering about you. Stressing me out

@Busy idk. 3 years should be saying I love you and living together. Not wondering about what you are doing, or even if your words mAtching your actions.. 3 years is a long time but since my tolerance level is low due to age I'll find out most in a few months, whether or not it should continue. I think by 6-1 year should be getting to know each other better wholeheartedly. I'm a Taurus stellium fixed woman. I want it to mean something that I put time, effort, work, and energy into everything..

Posted by Phoenix_77
I am glad I am not the only one dealing with this......

Has anyone IN a relationship told their Significant Other about this issue?

I am seriously contemplating telling my SO who is a Pisces. Just because I don't logically want to be with this Taurus. I can see it being a decent friendship with reasonable boundaries but I don't think I could handle being with him and I have 2 kids and my Pisces has 1 kid and we just got a house together.
I am just having the worst trouble controlling my limerence. So I obtained a Scorpio therapist and I intend on getting to the bottom of this and having it dealt with because I am completely fed up with the insanity. I will make the best decision I can and then I am going through the fire and coming out changed. I just really HOPE that with my firm intentions I don't screw anything up.

No - you are not the only one. I was very comforted to find this sight and find I wasn't insane. I tried therapy. I told my husband (now ex) at the time. I thought our failing marriage was the reason I was susceptible to the connection with TM. My ex was a cheater but I never cheated. I hoped that being honest and telling him would help me get over it. It didn't. Since divorcing, I have been by myself for two years. I have taken the time, stayed single and completely healed from my marriage. But nothing ever changes the love and longing for TM. We've been friends for years (never anything more) and it never stops. He is in a long term relationship and I would never interfere in his life. I don't see him for months at a time but each time we happen across each other's path the excitement and happiness on both sides is palatable. The most powerful distracting connection I've ever had with another human. I wish you luck in rising like the Phoenix anew. Please feel free to update and let me know how you accomplished it. I'm going on year #4 and all that I've been able to do is resign myself to suffering every.single.day.

Posted by busyeyes88

Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428
It's not going to work out. Sorry. Best wishes and stay strong..

What I can't understand is how come people let it continue for such a long long time? This one is 3 years some of the others longer!! I just don't get it?!

click to expand

Obsession is real....

@ Busy - it is the strongest single most over powering temptation of my life. I actually had to travel to romantic destinations for weeks at a time alone with my TM for work trips and the urge to behave bad was strong. As far as the obsession goes, it isn't about physical vs. emotional control over oneself. It is all consuming on all levels. There is no control - you are just screwed. You don't have to act on it for it to ruin your life. Just because I'm obsessed doesn't mean I would cheat/let him cheat. I can control my actions. But you can't control how you feel about someone. It's more like you cannot enjoy life anymore because whether you are awake, asleep, in the middle of a conversation - you aren't present because you are always trying to escape into your mind where you can be closer to them/alone with them. You physically feel sick from missing them. You go through periods of depression. I've had crushes that were on my mind 24/7 for a few weeks, even months. But nothing that compares to the years of pain this has brought.

.



Lol... Tiz, it's not just the sex. I can control the sex. I've had lots of experience with Taurus and not had this obsessive connection BUT I did have it with ONE ... And that was enough.

It was not about sex... It's much more powerful than that, lol. When this connection is strong, it feels like someone is inside of you, your mind, your phyche, your dreams. You speak with no words, you can't breathe when the other is separated from you. It can be agonizing and tremendously peaceful at the same time.

Perhaps what you mean is that this connection is what sex is SUPPOSED to feel like?

People are so casual about sex and take it on as just a physical act - so, to compare it to sex might actually be so
Misunderstood by many. The connection is no joke.



All of this. Well put. I like agonizing and tremendously peaceful at the same time...

Are you female? YES
Are you the scorpion or the taurus? I AM SCORPIO
Did you have sex with him/her? NO NEVER HAD SEX (In fact there is only a couple times I can remember even accidentally touching him- super careful not to)
Did you bond on an emotional level? YES - BUT NOTHING MORE THAN APPROPRIATE CO-WORKERS

Infinite put it best. Taurus and I never even had to discuss it. It just was. There are no words. For example, he knew when I wasn't ok emotionally and would sit there quietly and patiently waiting until I could re-group. He never asked if something was wrong. He was just aware that I wasn't ok. Then to sit there quietly waiting for me. No person has ever been so aware of my emotional state. And I'm very good at masking it/hiding. But I could feel him sense me out and it is like Infinte said. You are part of them. You feel them, their vibrations, their intensity. Being separated from them is painful and a relief. But he always knew and could see right through me. It is funny because when we are together around other people - they sense the connection too. Trying to put it in words actually cheapens it. Is it obsession? I don't know. For me - he is the one. The one and only. The one I will think of forever and no man has ever done that to me. I've been in love, I know there are "other fish in the sea", I am 40 years old and this isn't my first rodeo. However, after this man...there is only one fish for me. I can't even get excited over other men.

I'm not sure of his placements. Only that he is a Taurus born on May 20. We are loosely in touch. I have moved to another state but visit often to see my kids and family. We have mutual friends and will run into each other every couple months or so. He wants me to sell his home when he and his fiance move back to his home state in the next year. We have reasons to stay in touch but never contact each other randomly as friends do. It would be inappropriate. It is mostly a business relationship with occasional socializing when our paths cross. For example, I sent him and his fiance some job listings last week. I send them to all my contacts every week and have been for years. Not once has he ever responded...there isn't any reason to. It's just information and a way for me to stay in touch with potential clients. But now I moved and barely see him. So for the first time in years I received an actual response that said:

"Hey. I hope things are going well in _____ for you. Thanks for the job listings. I still have a few more classes to get out of the way before I seriously start looking, but its good to know what's out there. Take care!"

The same email from anyone else and I wouldn't think twice about it. But he isn't the one to email at all. Never emails/never texts. I have known him for 8 years, but the first 4 I avoided him. My reaction to him was strong and I think it was instinctual avoidance for self preservation. I thought he was intense and grumpy. But then work forced us to be around each other and get to know one another - we had to take trips alone which was really hard on me. The last 4 years I've been trying to get over the connection.

I have also felt him make concentrated efforts to get over the connection. He has at times very purposefully avoided me. Those times are really hard because I feel rejected and abandoned even though I know he is doing the right thing. Eventually, one or the other of us breaks down and reaches out to make contact and then the whole painful process starts over again.

Posted by busyeyes88
question is, am I too logical? Or is it because I am not a scorpion that I am able to resist the urge or am I too logical and emotionally cut off that I am able to bypass my physical urges but yet my emotional feelings I think of him all the time?! Is it me?!

I really don't know. The more I delve into the mystery, the more I feel I will never solve it all. Where there is obsession in my experience of all this, I've tended to pin the blame on Pluto. My strongest aspect is a square betw. Pluto and my Asc. The Scorp I had/have the issue with has a TON of Scorp, Venus as well. Taurus has its own brand of obsession with the whole "not letting go" thing though - especially when someone has really moved us. For me, it is not physical at all. I have had Leos that I have more sexual thoughts about than this Scorp - cheap sexual/pornographic type of fantasies. With this one, the fantasies were emotional, around getting to know her, bonding with her, talking with her, opening up to her completely....I've never experienced this with anyone. The THOUGHT of having sex with her was terrifying. Especially with being Leo dominant, I have never in my life been intimidated by anyone sexually, always been SUPER confident in my abilities there. With this person, I feel such a strong connection and nakedness/vulnerability when caught in her gaze, I'm afraid I would be trembling like a child!!! She is so confident (which is what she projects), that I feel unworthy in her presence. This is all part of why i never pursued it. I told myself "Sometimes you have to face it; there are people that are simply out of your league..."...

(cont...) I have told my Sag about it - everything now. I have committed to my Sag and I will never go back on that. My love for her is growing stronger and I WANT to be with her, and just strongly desire to get over whatever this obsession was. I even recently got to a point where I was getting back into a deep passionate connection with her - wanting to be intimate often, etc. Within one week of that happening, the Scorp has shown up at 5 places now all within 2 miles of my house -places she never went. Apparently now she is dating someone in my neighborhood; my Sag has run into her and she looks at my Sag with hatred. Fuck my life! And dreams of her started up again. I woke up this morning and took a valium from the anxiety this has caused me. I took a week long beach front vacation last week with my Sag and could not even enjoy it. I'm so tired of this shit. Tired of the fucking lessons the Universe apparently wants to teach me, tired of not being able to truly be happy without something seemingly sabotaging it, etc. Just in a horrible place right now. Since I first came to this website years ago, this shit has never really ended.

Posted by tiziani
I'm just saying when you strip away all objections this seems to be the one thing they hold onto the most as a reason for not letting it go. Just my experience. Even if they haven't slept with one another, there's often the mention of it being a physical draw to one another.

But with so many of the Scorp women I've talked to, its the depth of the connection with the person that really makes the sex great. The sex is like the ultimate ritual to consummate that connection, but the connection always precedes it. They draw a sharp distinction between men they have sex with to fulfill that urge, even men that are really good in bed, and really feeling that deep emotional connection during sex with someone they love. I have heard so many Taurus/Scorp stories, and I can say that they talk more about the connection felt when looking into each others eyes, or just holding one another, than they do about how great the sex is.

Posted by hexum
@ Busy - it is the strongest single most over powering temptation of my life. I actually had to travel to romantic destinations for weeks at a time alone with my TM for work trips and the urge to behave bad was strong. As far as the obsession goes, it isn't about physical vs. emotional control over oneself. It is all consuming on all levels. There is no control - you are just screwed. You don't have to act on it for it to ruin your life. Just because I'm obsessed doesn't mean I would cheat/let him cheat. I can control my actions. But you can't control how you feel about someone. It's more like you cannot enjoy life anymore because whether you are awake, asleep, in the middle of a conversation - you aren't present because you are always trying to escape into your mind where you can be closer to them/alone with them. You physically feel sick from missing them. You go through periods of depression. I've had crushes that were on my mind 24/7 for a few weeks, even months. But nothing that compares to the years of pain this has brought.

Every word of this.....

Posted by busyeyes88
This is the same effect my taurus had/has on me. It's hard to explain. He used to just stare. He could read me like a book..

Because this is what a lot of Taurus men do; court long-distance with their eyes, with very little effort. We communicate our *potential* attraction with a stare, and then watch the response, feel the person out....I'm sure I've ruled out many potential women just based on that level of eye contact alone - do they not respond at all, do they fold too quickly, can they not handle it, do I see things I dislike,...etc. But then one day you stare at your opposite - a Scorpio woman - and you see something as strong as, if not stronger than you, staring right back....And then you are fucked for life I guess.....

Posted by Infinite8

Posted by tiziani
Taurus and Scorpio all boils down to one thing. SEX.

Anything I get an enquiry over this pairing from either Taur or Scorp it always boils down to the sex.


Dress it up however you want but it's the sex.

Lol... Tiz, it's not just the sex. I can control the sex. I've had lots of experience with Taurus and not had this obsessive connection BUT I did have it with ONE ... And that was enough.

It was not about sex... It's much more powerful than that, lol. When this connection is strong, it feels like someone is inside of you, your mind, your phyche, your dreams. You speak with no words, you can't breathe when the other is separated from you. It can be agonizing and tremendously peaceful at the same time.

Perhaps what you mean is that this connection is what sex is SUPPOSED to feel like?

People are so casual about sex and take it on as just a physical act - so, to compare it to sex might actually be so
Misunderstood by many. The connection is no joke.

click to expand

amen....

^^^That is the point I think you are missing. No matter what you do. Give in to it, fight it, avoid it, be physical, don't be physical....it.never.goes.away. It is beyond obsession. It is like part of your soul is missing and broken and you will never be happy again.

busy - if it was a situation with another Taurus like that, I'd try to work it out. Taurus are pretty good at negotiating scenarios, agreeing to terms of things like contracts...lol. That's how I deal with a lot of relationship stuff. I'm sure you can negotiate something where you have the time you need to not be physical, and he has the space he needs to not want to be physical - but you all still have communication and connection.

I don't know what exactly I am going to do, but I am 100% sure no matter what I choose I am going to suffer for it.

The rules are the rules. I will not cheat, even if my heart feels pulled in that direction, I'm not doing it. Even if, for some effed up reason, I am deemed an emotional cheater bc of feelings I couldn't control, I will not be a physical cheater. Especially now that I know I can regain my love and passion for the Sag. But that's not really even on the table any more. I'm hoping we're at the end of this.

I don't know where this Scorp's head is at. She's with a new dude and apparently we will probably run into each other more often, even when with this new guy. I guess I will see how she acts when she sees me, and she is with him. I have been told to avoid all places I normally go, and see if she still pops up, to see if she is actually stalking. The more I consider it and get advice, the less I think she would do that, and worrying about that is me being a Leo Moon, overly egocentric, over-dramatic, paranoid, etc. I'm just going to try to live my life I guess....be a Taurus, do nothing, wait til' it blows over...lol.

This love business....what a fucking mess it is....This is why I get cynical about love, skeptical of it - at least the romantic variety. It never seems to work out, at least for me......

Posted by hexum
^^^That is the point I think you are missing. No matter what you do. Give in to it, fight it, avoid it, be physical, don't be physical....it.never.goes.away. It is beyond obsession. It is like part of your soul is missing and broken and you will never be happy again.

Exactly. Hell, I've even tried to give into it in moments of weakness. For me, to give in to it, meant to approach her, try to start up communication. I knew this was wrong, and generally had a rule (which I tried to break) of never speaking to her, but I got so out of control and desperate a few times, I tried to do that. Smacked in the face and laughed at by the Universe every time. It was so obvious I was being blocked. It is like you are never on the right timing, never on the same page....Then you get so terrified - terrified that you might actually reveal how you feel, only to have the other person be trying to get over it at that point, because of how this thing has peaks and valleys...That would be the utlimate rejection...You might never recover.

I've tried everything....Time heals you somewhat but very slowly, and maybe never fully.....

Believe me - we know how you feel. I wish there was a magic wand that could be waved. But there isn't one. Hugs.

Posted by busyeyes88
I am also leo moon. I never works for either... When I don't have one.. Nothing of course!! When I contemplate one, before it even lifts off the ground... Drama! Smh man!! Damned if I do damned if I don't...

My life is non-stop drama. Maybe we just attract that energy with our Moons. Truth is, as a Taurus, on some level I hate drama, but I do seem to always attract it. And maybe without it, I'd be terminally bored....I don't even know anymore. All I can do is take a lesson from every Scorpio I have ever seen - when they have done their sulking over heartbreak, they take action, try to keep things moving forward as best as they can....

I'm lucky to have the woman I have. I have moments, like this morning, where I am so overwhelmed with how well I am treated, how well I am loved, by the Sag I am with, that I am completely overcome with emotion and my eyes flood with tears. But because of this connection I've experienced with my opposite, I have really not been able to see that for years...As a Taurus, she should completely fulfill me. She is so loyal and steadfast. It makes me so angry. I'm angry for myself and what I've been through, for what my Sag has experienced and how this has hurt her, for what the Scorp has no doubt gone through on her end...I don't know how you feel as a Taurus, but any anger inside of me is like a toxin in my system. If I actually succumb to it, I become a completely different person, a person I don't even respect. I don't even know who or what specifically to be angry with though....

Posted by busyeyes88
But I don't want Him to totally lose his physical attraction for me but to contain it so that we can spend time in each others company and when the time is right that he will be ready again to be in a relationship. Gosh it is so fucked up!!! I miss his company and his energy. It really hurts. This is the first time I felt such an emotionally deep connection with a male that it brings water to my eyes and I did not even have sex with him. I just remember the good times and fun exciting moments we shares and how he was my rock in my times of need... I am stronger now... I miss him. 😢

Reach out to him and tell him. If neither of you are seeing other people, at least you don't have that hurdle. If you have these kinds of feelings, when the lane is wide open I think you should go for it. If your emotional bond grows, I don't see him just losing his physical attraction.

You have to ask your self - Why lose all of him, over a fear of losing part of him?

When an emotional bond is THAT strong with another human being, it is so rare and precious. Preserve it in whatever form you can as long as it does not hurt others or your selves to do so.

Posted by busyeyes88
. Do you also have the leo rising?

I have Capricorn rising which creates other issues. With Taurus Sun and Cap Rising, I hate the spotlight and like to remain in the background, but my Leo Moon/Mars/Saturn stellium seems to always push me out into it, only for me to be very uncomfortable.

Posted by busyeyes88
I am no good at relationships... That's me totally ALL or NOTHING. I would even cut my nose To spite my face. I stay single for so many years simply because my relationships are always messy and I hate mess! So I avoid relationships and people smh!! Drama

Well, I know a lot of people who choose to be alone to avoid all of the drama. I hope you have a good circle of friends though so you don't get too lonely. For me, I really cannot be alone. There's been very little time in my life where I wasn't in a long-term relationship, and during those times when I wasn't, I was very depressed.

@busy: why would you not tell this man exactly what you said here and be honest and upfront about what you feel? Forget the 'chess game' and speak the truth to him. Wouldn't he want to hear this? Wouldn't it help him feel secure?

TLS made me cry sometimes. Why is that you are afraid to follow your heart? Is that because you have sag woman? OR are you afraid people will judge you. Well then, your happiness is your own. Your sorrow is your own. You cannot share how you feel to others.

Posted by busyeyes88

Posted by M143
TLS made me cry sometimes. Why is that you are afraid to follow your heart? Is that because you have sag woman? OR are you afraid people will judge you. Well then, your happiness is your own. Your sorrow is your own. You cannot share how you feel to others.

Perhaps it the fear of the destruction it will leave behind if it all goes wrong?? Both parties would never be the same again?!

This is what I fear with taurus. If it does not work out who will clear up the mess? I would be destroyed and devastated should it not work out....

click to expand

This is how I feel.

And we are so far past that point now. I am in a deeply committed relationship. She has also chosen a new partner. The days of having hope for anything real with this person are gone...

Posted by busyeyes88

Posted by TaurusLovesScorpio

Posted by busyeyes88

Posted by M143
TLS made me cry sometimes. Why is that you are afraid to follow your heart? Is that because you have sag woman? OR are you afraid people will judge you. Well then, your happiness is your own. Your sorrow is your own. You cannot share how you feel to others.

Perhaps it the fear of the destruction it will leave behind if it all goes wrong?? Both parties would never be the same again?!

This is what I fear with taurus. If it does not work out who will clear up the mess? I would be destroyed and devastated should it not work out....

This is how I feel.

And we are so far past that point now. I am in a deeply committed relationship. She has also chosen a new partner. The days of having hope for anything real with this person are gone...

Wow!! I hit the nail on the head!!

My taurus kept on asking me what I was afraid of and it's exactly what I have written. And no matter how many times he tried to reassure me.. I was / am afraid of the destruction it will cause if it does not work out...

What happens now TLS? Are you truly over it or will it live within you till death?

click to expand

Probably Till death do us part. Until TLS still alive and her presence still there. He will still loves her and She will loves him forever.

Busyeyes,

The Scorpio will clean up the mess. Will make it up for the person we love. I guess it's the Scorpio's motto in life If She is his weakness then He is her Strength. The other should pick up the one when life's get rough and tough.

Posted by busyeyes88

Posted by TaurusLovesScorpio

Posted by busyeyes88

Posted by M143
TLS made me cry sometimes. Why is that you are afraid to follow your heart? Is that because you have sag woman? OR are you afraid people will judge you. Well then, your happiness is your own. Your sorrow is your own. You cannot share how you feel to others.

Perhaps it the fear of the destruction it will leave behind if it all goes wrong?? Both parties would never be the same again?!

This is what I fear with taurus. If it does not work out who will clear up the mess? I would be destroyed and devastated should it not work out....

This is how I feel.

And we are so far past that point now. I am in a deeply committed relationship. She has also chosen a new partner. The days of having hope for anything real with this person are gone...

Wow!! I hit the nail on the head!!

My taurus kept on asking me what I was afraid of and it's exactly what I have written. And no matter how many times he tried to reassure me.. I was / am afraid of the destruction it will cause if it does not work out...

What happens now TLS? Are you truly over it or will it live within you till death?

click to expand

And what if it worked? And instead of destruction you built something really beautiful together? What is to fear in that? ...you've been through divorce, it didn't destroy you and if this didn't work I would think it would not destroy you either. I'm close to your age Busy...I would give of myself very freely at this point if the chance came along and it felt right. It sounds like he feels right to you...follow that...you beautiful bulls sometimes just need to inch your hooves an inch out of the comfort zone, take a little risk. I'd like to see it work out for you _ _ taurus/taurus love