Taurus and Gemini Friendship

Im a male gemini and have a female taurus friend. She's been a great friend towards me, supportive, encouraging, potential for a good bond. Pure unadulterated, nice, comfortable, honest friendship. As soon as you talk about cross gender friendship, people think the male wants more. I assure you, that is not the case.

Our friendship was going well. Not much initiation on her side, but if I knew she was going through something, I could be supportive towards he. It was easy to be a genuine friend and I was breaking through the wall a little. There was a connection in spirits too as she was quite similar to myself, shy, reserved, anxious. She could relate to my personality and how to motivate me, and I could relate to what she was going through.

We text every so often and she was open. She would come up to me in public and made an effort to talk. I don't know about her, but I had a lot of trust and respect for her. Several weeks ago, she seemed to back off completely. She was interested in an event I was going to. I text her the date, and she didn't get back in touch until she saw me in person the day before. Now she's being inconsistent. One day, she gave me a lift home. The next day, she ignored a text asking if she needed a lift to another event we were both going to. Last week, she sent a text out of the blue (first time in ages) about the woman she saw me with, asking what's going on with her. I say nothings going on, and I heard nothing further from the taurus.

Im impossibly shy and don't interrupt. She knows this. Recently, she's been making sure she's going to speak to other people instead of me, so I can never get her attention. I saw her in public a few days ago, but she was speaking to someone else and disappeared before I could speak to her. I text her back and she responded nicely. I text an innocent question a few days later and got nothing back.

I would love to say she was ignoring me, but she isn't. She goes from being ice queen to being gregarious. The times we do talk, it's wonderful, lovely, safe, comfortable. But it's rare that happens now. Then she goes back to ignoring me and being unavailable to talk.

She says everythings OK, nothings wrong and she would tell me if it was. But I feel the dynamic has changed.

I've tried addressing this through other relationship forums. So far I've seen more sense here, so thought it would be a good idea to post. Either this is all in my head and not happening at all, or she perceives a threat in some way - a crush? too full on? too emotional? too long winded? Or she's concerned about her behaviour? she has a crush? guilt? I just want things to go back to normal.

Since I first wrote this, she has shown some subtle antagonistic signs, very minor, just challenging a couple of things I wrote in a group email.

From what I understand, this isn't typical taurean behaviour. Can I get her to understand Im not that fragile and get her to communicate any problems?

Hmm, without going into too many details, there's a very real reason why she shouldn't have a crush on me and why I don't have a crush on her. Of course it doesn't stop her from being one of the nicest people I've met, up until just recently.

Of course with her previous level of "interest" (I wouldn't have said flirty), it's entirely possible. I just wonder if I've missed any signs!?

As I find it very difficult approaching her in person at the moment, I presume a text message would be fine in this scenario to do what BG2 suggests? Thing is, I've already called her a friend several times before and that I care, as a friend. Right now Im scared of being insecure! She doesn't seem to get that. Unless of course she does get that and wants more!

I find this very stressful.

Im guessing something non judgemental, open, honest, trusting, respecting like.... things feel different... we don't talk as much as... i hope you're ok... im a friend... anything at all you want to talk about, confidence.... direct....

Awe there you go it's always two sides of the story just waiting for you@OP to finish up with your whole post there bud.

If a guy states to a woman who is ready for something but someone else thinks oh they are good as friends and nothing more than just be honest. If you think you both can work out differences between you guys then it will work.

Haha

See wishy washy comments to a taurus is hearing let's just be friends since all you do is say friend type things and not really serious enough to take a person serious in case they want a long term relationship. So taurus will go to someone else who says something direct and then show it some way where taurus sees it or hears it.

Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428
Awe there you go it's always two sides of the story just waiting for you@OP to finish up with your whole post there bud.

Come again? What sparked for you there?

Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428
See wishy washy comments to a taurus is hearing let's just be friends since all you do is say friend type things and not really serious enough to take a person serious in case they want a long term relationship. So taurus will go to someone else who says something direct and then show it some way where taurus sees it or hears it.

I don't want to go into any reason, but it would be entirely inappropriate for her to seek out anything more than friendship in me, or any man for that matter.

Gah. OK. She's married. That's it. She is substantially older than me, so there's nothing going on this end I promise you that! As soon as you tell a forum you've got a good friendship with someone of the opposite sex, bang... they accuse you of all sorts. Im not like that.

So lets keep it civil shall we? :-)

I guess it may have been possible she has been tested the waters and not had a response from me. But that's what I should do! The amount of times she's stood in my face pouting at me. Last year was the first year she sent me a Christmas Card and only listed herself instead of her family. Please tell me that wasn't a signal.?

Posted by Nevermore
This part you closed her off as if it was none of her business.
Remember.. Taurus can read through actions and not only in words.

But one thing bothers me too. how long have you guys know each other?

Ahh, now that bit, I was trying to keep short. Failed miserably and lost the meaning.

It was my ex she saw me with. I said that I wasn't going to go back there, and that we were just friends, but to be honest, I felt really uncomfortable and wish the taurus would have come over to say hello.

Interesting the way she text almost 10 minutes after this event, that's a pretty high interest. No one else in the group who saw me text me about it. That's almost indicative of itself. If she does have a crush, how do I stop it? It's only going to make things worse. But I can't address it, in case she doesn't have a crush! Oh awkward! The other possibility is she's being a good friend, but in her ignoring my innocent texts, she isn't being that much of a friend! Bizarre!

I've known her over six years, I've known her well enough for two though. Had very little to do with her before then. But I've just seen another side to her that I never saw before.

Posted by BG2
What do you find difficult about talking to her in person?
You don't have to sit down and talk for hours. Five to ten minutes is all you need.

Also, keep in mind that you can't force a friendship; not the type of friendship you're seeking. It does happen - just as in romantic relationships - that two people go through a cooling phase. I suppose, this is when it'll be beneficial to let her know that she can come to you when she needs it.
If she cares just as much as you do, she won't disappoint. It may not be today, or a week from now.

Otherwise you'd have to be grateful for the bond you shared and move forward.

AND, if you believe she may have a crush on you - and don't think it'd be a good idea to cross that line for either one of you - then leave her be.

Im quite socially anxious. I don't go up to people easily unless they're by themselves. As she's always talking to someone else, it's very difficult to approach her. Up until a few weeks ago, she would make the effort to talk to me. Now she doesn't.

I certainly have no intention of forcing a friendship, Im just bewildered over the sudden change. The trouble in my mind, is that, I just don't know what's going on, whether I should apologise, or try and address what's going on, how to address it, what to say? I simply don't have enough information.

If I take her at her word that I haven't done anything wrong and she would let me know if I did, I guess the only thing is that there's something going on in her head. Alas. I don't know. I certainly don't want to throw away a friendship over things in either one of our heads. I'd like to believe she doesn't have a crush and would be direct enough to tell me if she did or thought I did.

From an astrological point of view, what is happening doesn't seem to be typical taurean behaviour, unless she has been dropping hints that I haven't picked up!

Posted by BG2
NOPE!!! Smells fishy. Nuh-uh. Don't deal with her again!

I think I've become the highest poster for the day! WHOO!

Smelly fishy? Nuh-uh? Could you expand on that?

Awe see I knew it. But slaps your in the face but it takes two.

Awe for fuck sake. You both are crazy.

No we had a trill thread in the Libra forums so no not news.

Hm I am keeping it civil btw.

Posted by Nevermore
If I read it correctly.. was it that she was ignoring you while that happens when you talked to your ex? Or was it before that?

If it's while, then I can agree with BG2, whatthecrab and InstantKarma.. She wants more than just a friendship because she could possibly be unhappy with her marriage life. And need to find the escape. But she noticed you wants just a friends and trying to take a distance off with you.


I would say that you're kind of faithful guy. 🙂

Part of me chalks it up to me being ridiculously over sensitive and being over analytical. Not sure if those are gem traits or not. Though I did read somewhere that gems have male and female characteristics to their personality, that sure does sound like me.

Before all this happened, I had text her about my anxiety and asking if I was rude and saying that I have real problems thinking of things to say on the spot, and as she could go up to people to talk at ease, as she understands what its like, perhaps she could help me by giving me a prod at appropriate times about when to join a conversation. We had a great chat by text. She was telling me how she has similar issues, but she would include me more in conversation, and that she was hoping I would save her from the conversation she was having. I said she would have to be more direct and about how I get confused when people are inconsistent and Im a little bit insecure.

Sorry, just reading the messages back. Oh. Light bulb moment.

She can't have used my fears against me can she?

Anyhow yes, it was after this and before my ex came back into view that the taurus became inconsistent by ignoring me in public, not getting back to me about innocent texts, somewhat avoidant, hot and cold, best friend one minute, not wanting to know the next. She's a little bit friendlier at the moment, but she doesn't have the same intensity as she used to.

Not that Im complaining about the intensity, Im just complaining about the difference in behaviour and not knowing what happened. Sorry, most times I don't explain myself clearly and some people on forums take that to mean that I want to control someone, or want them to behave in a certain way. No. I just want to know where I stand and how to respond! If you don't want to be my friend, fair enough. Just stop with the pretense, stop pretending and back off, I'll delete your number off my phone and go my own way.

I am a very faithful guy, thanks, very loyal and dedicated and would do anything for my friends.

I know you said that there is nothing beyond friends and I believe you - but I have a very good friend that's a gemini male friend and there were times in the early months where I got concerned, "does he want more, oh no, I like him as a friend, nothing more, I don't want to lose him as a friend" and would back off. And due to busy work schedule, I'll be honest, I probably came across more cold and distance than I meant too. Gemini are so outgoing and so good at communication, sometimes that can be interpreted as more flirty. Just another perspective.

Thanks BG2. I think friendship definitely is worth pursuing. When she isn't pulling this nonsense, she truly is awesome. I would hate to throw that away by reading more into a situation than there is. I have my suspicions, but they aren't confirmed.

TaurusinTexas - Yes, that crossed my mind too. I wouldn't describe myself as particularly outgoing to be honest, but I have a weird attachment style I think. It means that once I find a friend, I hold on to them. It takes a long time for me to see someone as a genuine friend, but once they're there, boom, you got me for life. I can get very enthusiastic, but why wouldn't I be? How would you even approach that conversation though, querying whether the taurus is concerned that you're too full on?

I thought taureans were direct, so if there was any problem, they would let you know. But it seems in friendships like this, you guys are so vague. From my perspective, I would just want someone to turn around and say "look, I have backed off, Im concerned that you might have a crush?" then at least I could say "nooooo, no way. uh. no way at all. i love you to bits, and care about you a great deal, but i see you like a second mom! and if you're that worried, in future, if you invite me out like you've done before, BRING YOUR HUSBAND WHO I KEEP WANTING TO MEET!". Bang. Problem sorted!

Well for me, I'm not gonna just address this, until I'm sure I need to. For me, it's easier to fall back and observe and then once I know or at least think I know, then I can address it but I'm not a fan of making drama up when I could just be over analyzing. I have a Scorpio moon and a cancer mars - so maybe that makes me a little different Taurus. If you're concerned, why aren't you addressing it directly with her?

For pretty much the same reason you are. It's easier for me to fall back and observe. I don't know what's going on. I could be speculating. But I couldn't handle the fall out if Im over analysing.

Im scared of the unknown, Im scared of the reaction. Everyone has an opinion, - back off, she's ignoring you, she's sending you signals she doesn't want to know, you'll make things worse, if you even mention "crush" she'll think that's what you're thinking of....

There will come a point where actually, it would be better for me to know and find out than to keep beating around the bush. I just wish someone would make the first move so I don't have to!

So all this, Taurus Sun, Scorpio Moon, Sag Rising etc.... how do I work out all that for me? And probably how do I work that out for her? It sounds really fascinating. Maybe it would give me some insights.

Well you are so much more than your sun sign, all these planets play a role in you. You can go to astro.com, actually there are several. You want your natal chart and you can start looking the placements up and also post it on chart interpretation and ppl here can help you. You need birthday, year and ideally time, to get a really clear pic but without time you can get at least a bit of a glimpse.

I have:

Gemini Sun
Libra Moon
Taurus Mercury
Aries Venus
Aries Mars

and she has:

Taurus Sun
Aries Moon
Taurus Mercury
Gemini Venus
Taurus Mars

Some fascinating reading.

I'll and post for an interpretation. Thanks so much.

What the heck is an Ascendant? The site I looked at didn't show me the Ascendant?

While I try and find out, got to ask you what you're curious about

I need to find out. I don't know the time I was born. So far we think I could be an Ascendant Pisces, but Im just trying to find out!

Right. There's two choices. Im most likely Im a Libra Ascending, but there's a slim to almost non-existant chance Im a Virgo Ascendant. Chances are it's Libra.

How does that fit into the equation?

I certainly am quite a logical, thinking, and cognitive individual. When things don't add up, then I stress out. Which is probably what's happening here.

Now I like what's been said so far, why don't I find her attractive?

Define attraction - are we talking Sexual Attraction or other?

I think I described her here as someone who seems like a kindred spirit. I sense a connection of sorts, that I can't define it, a bond, an understanding. I can't explain it. But I am drawn to her personality. Maybe even spiritually. I was never drawn to her sexually. There's like something inside her which I think she's hiding away and doesn't let the rest of the world see. The fact I see it, I feel very special and I almost want to help her nurture that, explore it, and use it going forward. I feel very much like I want to help her.

There are times she's stared at me and I feel like I want to tell her all my secrets. It's like she's the best friend I have! Even if she does ignore me.

Does any of this actually make any sense?

Posted by Instantkarma
I wanna see how he doesn't wanna chase her or have anything physical/sexual with her. For that I would like to look at the houses that were activated in synastry. Curious. For the sake of learning.

Just as curiosity, how do you work out the synastry chart and houses that were activated? You're certainly welcome to look at mine if you can tell me how to work it out!

OK. Think that makes sense.

Could you go into more detail as to whether there's information in the known charts so far as to why I find this woman, err, so appealing, for want of a better word, why I feel this spiritual connection, this caring, nurturing instinct? And why she seems to be backing off and inconsistent around me?

Is there something astrologically speaking I can do to settle any fears, any concerns she may have, somehow establish this spiritual and above all PLATONIC link?


I was just writing this as you posted your follow up/;

There's a few words I didn't use earlier, which is that I find her to have a very calming, stabilising, almost grounding effect for me. It's most unusual. I've had crushes before (maybe I should dig those out), but this one is nothing like that. It is as someone said a ying/yang. That's almost perfect explanation.

To find out her houses, I would need to know the time she was born, right? That'll be a challenge.

Here's what I copies so far, don't mean anything to me:

Saturn, Leo in House XI
Midheaven, Cancer
Jupiter, Gemini in House IX
Sun, Gemini in House IX
Mercury, Taurus in House VIII
Mars, Aries in House VII
Venus, Aries in House VII
Fortune, Aquarius in House IV
Neptune, R Sagittarius in House III
Uranus, R Scorpo in House II
True North Node, Libra in House I
Pluto, R Libra in House I
Moon, Libra in House I
Ascendant, Libra

Am I allowed to bump this? I was wanting to find out if there's anything astrologically to answer:

1) Why I find this woman appealing, why do I feel a spiritual connection, why do I sense an energy within her?
2) Anything to suggest why she has backed off and is being inconsistent?
3) Anything I can do to appeal to her in order to rekindle and reconnect this friendship?

But I must say, thank you to everyone for your replies and advice, your words, your knowledge, and to those with exceptionally kind things to say about me and my personality! Blimey. Any other forum, and I'd have been called all sorts of names and had my morals called into question for even wanting to be friends with the opposite sex.

I've read more recently trawling through this forum that Tauruses aren't ambiguous in what they say, if they want you, they'll let you know. Now there does seem to be some concern from you guys and me, that maybe it is the married Taurus who wants me. Trouble is, if that's the case, she hasn't come out and said it. There's lots of "hints" as far as I can see, but in my mind, but nothing concrete. Like the way when she has invited me to see her, it's her by her self, never with her husband. Then there's the long awkward effort trying to say bye with her staring at me like she wants more. Or the greeting card that normally she would send from her family, but this year, just from herself. There's a few other things, but it;s very weird.

I described a desire almost to nurture her. She has also been doing that to me over recent months, nurturing me, helping me with something. She's the only one that's been able to do that. I do think in some ways we complement and spark off each other. Maybe that's her fear being married.