TxOgal
@TxOgal
11 Years1,000+ PostsTaurus
Comments: 177 · Posts: 2190 · Topics: 92
Taurus men ... Is this normal behavior?
I should add these too..
7. He proposed to me while we were in bed!! I took time to respond and that got him bothered that I didn't have the same feelings towards him.
8. He told me on the same night, that he's afraid if we don't live the rest of our life together, that I'd end up hurt. (Cause he knows I'm conservative)
7. He proposed to me while we were in bed!! I took time to respond and that got him bothered that I didn't have the same feelings towards him.
8. He told me on the same night, that he's afraid if we don't live the rest of our life together, that I'd end up hurt. (Cause he knows I'm conservative)
9. About him smoking, he promised me that he will only smoke twice a week. But another day he was angry and told me to forget that promise, claiming that I was nagging him about cutting smoke. (Eventhough I wasnt nagging, I was telling him he smoked a little over twice a week this week). That also made me sad that he dropped his promise only to do as he wishes. Later, he told me he's been cutting down on it but not telling me so I don't nag him about it. I still think he smokes alot.
Hi there!
There's nothing wrong with feeling mentally bogged down by a relationship and needing fresh eyes to look into it with you. My partner is a Taurus so let's see how I can help!
I immediately notice how insecure he sounds but I'll get to that later. Firstly, Taureans are fussy when it comes to picking their mate and don't be surprised about double standards either! Also, some of them are into the eye for an eye business, so if you do something that offends or upsets him - he'll hurt you right back! I don't know if you enjoys weed or strip clubs persay but it sounds like his motive was to get a reaction out of you (and he did).
If he's jealous, he obviously cares about you very much. It's absolutely normal for Taureans to be possessive, jealous lovers (they're infamous for it). He does sound a little sensitive and insecure about it, maybe he's terrified of being cheated on or he has been cheated on in the past. Maybe he's got lots of water signs in his chart! Since it hasn't been such a long romance, his insecurities might fade once you've given him reassurance that you're loyal and trustworthy. See how his attitude softened with you spending time with your family? I think he has the capability to release his insecurities slowly over time.
His proposal is rather hasty and maybe his insecurities are a reason behind this. He is obviously fearful of losing you (you must be quite the catch!) and wants to tie you down. You can reassure him that you are committed to him but want to take your time to really know each other (if that's how you feel!). If he loves you, he will wait for you. He wants the reassurance that you won't stray and if you can give him that, then he will cool down and rethink his proposal. This is a process though and could take a while!
I understand that being in love is exciting, you're on cloud nine and it's easy to forget everything else but do keep your father's fears in the back of your mind. Don't dismiss them yet, there's always a reason behind a parent's concern and it might not be what you think! Go with your gut about the money issues but I have to agree with your dad, it does sound like he proposed too soon! Nothing wrong with a quick proposal but the issue here is that you two have not resolved any insecurities. If unaddressed, this will be added baggage that will really affect your relationship and cause easily avoidable misunderstandings.
There's nothing wrong with feeling mentally bogged down by a relationship and needing fresh eyes to look into it with you. My partner is a Taurus so let's see how I can help!
I immediately notice how insecure he sounds but I'll get to that later. Firstly, Taureans are fussy when it comes to picking their mate and don't be surprised about double standards either! Also, some of them are into the eye for an eye business, so if you do something that offends or upsets him - he'll hurt you right back! I don't know if you enjoys weed or strip clubs persay but it sounds like his motive was to get a reaction out of you (and he did).
If he's jealous, he obviously cares about you very much. It's absolutely normal for Taureans to be possessive, jealous lovers (they're infamous for it). He does sound a little sensitive and insecure about it, maybe he's terrified of being cheated on or he has been cheated on in the past. Maybe he's got lots of water signs in his chart! Since it hasn't been such a long romance, his insecurities might fade once you've given him reassurance that you're loyal and trustworthy. See how his attitude softened with you spending time with your family? I think he has the capability to release his insecurities slowly over time.
His proposal is rather hasty and maybe his insecurities are a reason behind this. He is obviously fearful of losing you (you must be quite the catch!) and wants to tie you down. You can reassure him that you are committed to him but want to take your time to really know each other (if that's how you feel!). If he loves you, he will wait for you. He wants the reassurance that you won't stray and if you can give him that, then he will cool down and rethink his proposal. This is a process though and could take a while!
I understand that being in love is exciting, you're on cloud nine and it's easy to forget everything else but do keep your father's fears in the back of your mind. Don't dismiss them yet, there's always a reason behind a parent's concern and it might not be what you think! Go with your gut about the money issues but I have to agree with your dad, it does sound like he proposed too soon! Nothing wrong with a quick proposal but the issue here is that you two have not resolved any insecurities. If unaddressed, this will be added baggage that will really affect your relationship and cause easily avoidable misunderstandings.
Welcome to how the rest of your life will look.
Is this what you want for yourself?
Try this:
Get a piece of paper. At the top write 'what a great relationship looks and feels like' and then list everything you want/need.
Now look at that list and tell me if your current relationship looks like your list.
I can't comment on whether this relationship is abusive or not but what I can say is that it simply doesn't sound like a great relationship.
Why wouldn't you want a great relationship for yourself?
There's about eight billion people on this planet. Don't tell me this guy is the only one available!
Is this what you want for yourself?
Try this:
Get a piece of paper. At the top write 'what a great relationship looks and feels like' and then list everything you want/need.
Now look at that list and tell me if your current relationship looks like your list.
I can't comment on whether this relationship is abusive or not but what I can say is that it simply doesn't sound like a great relationship.
Why wouldn't you want a great relationship for yourself?
There's about eight billion people on this planet. Don't tell me this guy is the only one available!
Why are you trying to control him and dictate how often he smokes? You sound like the abusive one honestly.
Your relationship has been LD start to finish, correct?
Please don't marry this dude without first getting to know him IN PERSON for a year or so. Cause right now he's a stranger/pen pal.
Please don't marry this dude without first getting to know him IN PERSON for a year or so. Cause right now he's a stranger/pen pal.
Posted by LadyNeptuneWe spent 2 separate weeks together ... Every single moment with him was amazing ...those fights were obviously on the phone..and yeh I was hoping for an engagement first but i think it is still the same problem.. We are apart
Your relationship has been LD start to finish, correct?
Please don't marry this dude without first getting to know him IN PERSON for a year or so. Cause right now he's a stranger/pen pal.
Posted by TxOgalA person doesn't show their true colors until a year to 2 years into the relationship. This is fact.Posted by LadyNeptuneWe spent 2 separate weeks together ... Every single moment with him was amazing ...those fights were obviously on the phone..and yeh I was hoping for an engagement first but i think it is still the same problem.. We are apart
Your relationship has been LD start to finish, correct?
Please don't marry this dude without first getting to know him IN PERSON for a year or so. Cause right now he's a stranger/pen pal.click to expand
This 2 weeks of face to face are still honeymoon period. Both of you show each other your best selves through your communication but it's not the same as seeing someone every week, going on dates, addressing conflict, etc.
If you haven't shown him your ugly side and he hasn't shown you his then your both dating an ideal, not the real version.
Posted by LadyNeptuneI thought I know his ugly side already ... Ofcourse not the same as seeing it in person... But knowing him and after many arguments we both learned to change our attitude and as they say to fight fair ... But ofcourse i know its not the same yehPosted by TxOgalA person doesn't show their true colors until a year to 2 years into the relationship. This is fact.Posted by LadyNeptuneWe spent 2 separate weeks together ... Every single moment with him was amazing ...those fights were obviously on the phone..and yeh I was hoping for an engagement first but i think it is still the same problem.. We are apart
Your relationship has been LD start to finish, correct?
Please don't marry this dude without first getting to know him IN PERSON for a year or so. Cause right now he's a stranger/pen pal.
This 2 weeks of face to face are still honeymoon period. Both of you show each other your best selves through your communication but it's not the same as seeing someone every week, going on dates, addressing conflict, etc.
If you haven't shown him your ugly side and he hasn't shown you his then your both dating an ideal, not the real version.click to expand
he sounds very insecure and a control freak...
What's his other placements?
Posted by TxOgalI'm just saying even if you choose to become engaged, don't marry him until you spend a decent amount of time in the same place on the map.Posted by LadyNeptuneI thought I know his ugly side already ... Ofcourse not the same as seeing it in person... But knowing him and after many arguments we both learned to change our attitude and as they say to fight fair ... But ofcourse i know its not the same yehPosted by TxOgalA person doesn't show their true colors until a year to 2 years into the relationship. This is fact.Posted by LadyNeptuneWe spent 2 separate weeks together ... Every single moment with him was amazing ...those fights were obviously on the phone..and yeh I was hoping for an engagement first but i think it is still the same problem.. We are apart
Your relationship has been LD start to finish, correct?
Please don't marry this dude without first getting to know him IN PERSON for a year or so. Cause right now he's a stranger/pen pal.
This 2 weeks of face to face are still honeymoon period. Both of you show each other your best selves through your communication but it's not the same as seeing someone every week, going on dates, addressing conflict, etc.
If you haven't shown him your ugly side and he hasn't shown you his then your both dating an ideal, not the real version.
click to expand
Posted by AgentP911Great advice! I did this for the Taurean (five weeks) that had me "stringing along" (no sex); texts were HOT and then went COLD. I grabbed a white sheet of typing paper (work); drew a vertical line; PROS CONS. I had "more" CONS than PROs....I bounced (or swam away; I'm Piscean).
Welcome to how the rest of your life will look.
Is this what you want for yourself?
Try this:
Get a piece of paper. At the top write 'what a great relationship looks and feels like' and then list everything you want/need.
Now look at that list and tell me if your current relationship looks like your list.
I can't comment on whether this relationship is abusive or not but what I can say is that it simply doesn't sound like a great relationship.
Why wouldn't you want a great relationship for yourself?
There's about eight billion people on this planet. Don't tell me this guy is the only one available!
🤗 cyber hugs!
Love,
Eva
PS: Having lunch at my desk and reading....love the advice as to "run"
Posted by goatpukeMy youngest (11 going on 21) is Taurean. I have been TEACHING him to be "humble and kind" and NOT get so MAD! His dad is Caucasian and I'm Native American.
that was long, you weren't lying
my dad is a taurus and he has the worst temper it's his way or the highway and is expected to be catered to this could be because of hispanic men and their machismo up bringing but he does speak loud and he sometimes barks orders at my mom and my mom just learn to tolerate his behavior
everyone that knows my dad just gives him the excuse of 'thats just who he is' so i advise you to be ready to start making the same excuses for him if you're willing to stick by his side
there's a sweet side to taurus men but they have a powerful dark force and it's thru control and controlling others
growing up we feared my dad he was literally a bull still is but more tame thru age
he aries moon so that makes him be more self centered
🤗 cyber hugs!
Love,
Eva
PS: Your mom is a SAINT! As you can tell I don't take S*HIT like this from ANY man! 😡
I don't know if this is the start of an abusive relationship but here are some articles that may help.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/anger-in-the-age-entitlement/200812/are-you-dating-abuser
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/pamela-jacobs/early-warning-signs-of-an_b_6009076.html
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/anger-in-the-age-entitlement/200812/are-you-dating-abuser
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/pamela-jacobs/early-warning-signs-of-an_b_6009076.html
Posted by goatpuke
that was long, you weren't lying
my dad is a taurus and he has the worst temper it's his way or the highway and is expected to be catered to this could be because of hispanic men and their machismo up bringing but he does speak loud and he sometimes barks orders at my mom and my mom just learn to tolerate his behavior
everyone that knows my dad just gives him the excuse of 'thats just who he is' so i advise you to be ready to start making the same excuses for him if you're willing to stick by his side
there's a sweet side to taurus men but they have a powerful dark force and it's thru control and controlling others
growing up we feared my dad he was literally a bull still is but more tame thru age
he aries moon so that makes him be more self centered
Whats your mom's sign?
Posted by tiziani
That's going to happen in an LDR. People don't know each other that well, haven't known each other for long - both people are going to magnify stuff they don't understand.
Plenty of what you've written sounds messed up in writing, but it's no better or worse than some of the most solid couples I know have been through at the beginning. It doesn't have to be this way but if you both want it there's no talking you out of it.
yeah.. if both of us want.. I got a feeling he's giving up on me already 😢
Posted by thecrazyariestaurusTaurus Sun, Cancer Moon, Taurus Mercury, Pisces Venus & Mars
What's his other placements?
Posted by LadyNeptuneOk to be clear, he said he wants to stop smoking and he's the one who set that target of cutting it to twice a week. And asked me to keep that in check.. He knew I hated smoking so ofcourse I agreed.
Why are you trying to control him and dictate how often he smokes? You sound like the abusive one honestly.
Later, when I told him something he didn't like... (we had an argument and he wasnt receptive at all to any talk and I told him I needed to talk, and by him being so closed off I'm afraid I might seek a chatroom to vent. He got super mad and it is when he even told me to forget the promise of cutting down on smoke. Cause he hates me being in any chatroom, for thinking I might be talking to guys)
Hey you have similar placements as a friend of mine!
I didn't read all of that, but skimmed it and saw early proposal and a lot of doubt in your words.
She married a guy within a year. She was unsure about him before the marriage and is having the same issues after. Now she feels stuck in a marriage she's not happy in. Like really not happy in.
If you have doubts, don't rush into marriage. Really get to know him and yourself as far as what you want in a relationship. It's OKAY to walk away.
I didn't read all of that, but skimmed it and saw early proposal and a lot of doubt in your words.
She married a guy within a year. She was unsure about him before the marriage and is having the same issues after. Now she feels stuck in a marriage she's not happy in. Like really not happy in.
If you have doubts, don't rush into marriage. Really get to know him and yourself as far as what you want in a relationship. It's OKAY to walk away.
Posted by jeane
I don't know if this is the start of an abusive relationship but here are some articles that may help.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/anger-in-the-age-entitlement/200812/are-you-dating-abuser
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/pamela-jacobs/early-warning-signs-of-an_b_6009076.html
the second article is scary.... and it's ironic I read it before when we started dating.. but I don't know why I dismissed those words..
Posted by TxOgalHe sounds insecure af. How old is he.Posted by LadyNeptuneOk to be clear, he said he wants to stop smoking and he's the one who set that target of cutting it to twice a week. And asked me to keep that in check.. He knew I hated smoking so ofcourse I agreed.
Why are you trying to control him and dictate how often he smokes? You sound like the abusive one honestly.
Later, when I told him something he didn't like... (we had an argument and he wasnt receptive at all to any talk and I told him I needed to talk, and by him being so closed off I'm afraid I might seek a chatroom to vent. He got super mad and it is when he even told me to forget the promise of cutting down on smoke. Cause he hates me being in any chatroom, for thinking I might be talking to guys)click to expand
Posted by LadyNeptuneas old as I am.. 27. I knew he's so jealous, but I thought he's just being a typical TaurusPosted by TxOgalHe sounds insecure af. How old is he.Posted by LadyNeptuneOk to be clear, he said he wants to stop smoking and he's the one who set that target of cutting it to twice a week. And asked me to keep that in check.. He knew I hated smoking so ofcourse I agreed.
Why are you trying to control him and dictate how often he smokes? You sound like the abusive one honestly.
Later, when I told him something he didn't like... (we had an argument and he wasnt receptive at all to any talk and I told him I needed to talk, and by him being so closed off I'm afraid I might seek a chatroom to vent. He got super mad and it is when he even told me to forget the promise of cutting down on smoke. Cause he hates me being in any chatroom, for thinking I might be talking to guys)click to expand
Posted by TxOgallol I knew he was watery. I had a feeling you were gonna say cancer moon. Well I'm just saying I'm a Taurus sun/cancer moon and I used to be emotionally abusive. I've stopped that behavior because it's horrible to treat people that way. I just got so moody all the time and it would affect my behavior. That was when I was younger. I'm also kind of a control freak but I don't let it show. All that Pisces, makes sense why he wants to move so fast. My Pisces Ex moved very fast, and a couple Pisces friends I have fall in love fast and want to move very fast.Posted by thecrazyariestaurusTaurus Sun, Cancer Moon, Taurus Mercury, Pisces Venus & Mars
What's his other placements?
click to expand
Posted by TxOgalDid he meet you in a chatroom?Posted by LadyNeptuneas old as I am.. 27. I knew he's so jealous, but I thought he's just being a typical TaurusPosted by TxOgalHe sounds insecure af. How old is he.Posted by LadyNeptuneOk to be clear, he said he wants to stop smoking and he's the one who set that target of cutting it to twice a week. And asked me to keep that in check.. He knew I hated smoking so ofcourse I agreed.
Why are you trying to control him and dictate how often he smokes? You sound like the abusive one honestly.
Later, when I told him something he didn't like... (we had an argument and he wasnt receptive at all to any talk and I told him I needed to talk, and by him being so closed off I'm afraid I might seek a chatroom to vent. He got super mad and it is when he even told me to forget the promise of cutting down on smoke. Cause he hates me being in any chatroom, for thinking I might be talking to guys)click to expand
Posted by LadyNeptunea chatting application... he knew I had many net friends guys n girls ... ofcourse I cut contact with all guys now..Posted by TxOgalDid he meet you in a chatroom?Posted by LadyNeptuneas old as I am.. 27. I knew he's so jealous, but I thought he's just being a typical TaurusPosted by TxOgalHe sounds insecure af. How old is he.Posted by LadyNeptuneOk to be clear, he said he wants to stop smoking and he's the one who set that target of cutting it to twice a week. And asked me to keep that in check.. He knew I hated smoking so ofcourse I agreed.
Why are you trying to control him and dictate how often he smokes? You sound like the abusive one honestly.
Later, when I told him something he didn't like... (we had an argument and he wasnt receptive at all to any talk and I told him I needed to talk, and by him being so closed off I'm afraid I might seek a chatroom to vent. He got super mad and it is when he even told me to forget the promise of cutting down on smoke. Cause he hates me being in any chatroom, for thinking I might be talking to guys)click to expand
Posted by thecrazyariestaurusno doubt with my Aries venus.. we both moved crazy fast 😄Posted by TxOgallol I knew he was watery. I had a feeling you were gonna say cancer moon. Well I'm just saying I'm a Taurus sun/cancer moon and I used to be emotionally abusive. I've stopped that behavior because it's horrible to treat people that way. I just got so moody all the time and it would affect my behavior. That was when I was younger. I'm also kind of a control freak but I don't let it show. All that Pisces, makes sense why he wants to move so fast. My Pisces Ex moved very fast, and a couple Pisces friends I have fall in love fast and want to move very fast.Posted by thecrazyariestaurusTaurus Sun, Cancer Moon, Taurus Mercury, Pisces Venus & Mars
What's his other placements?
click to expand
Posted by thecrazyariestaurusI am glad you realized your behavior soon.. I wish he would have too..Posted by TxOgallol I knew he was watery. I had a feeling you were gonna say cancer moon. Well I'm just saying I'm a Taurus sun/cancer moon and I used to be emotionally abusive. I've stopped that behavior because it's horrible to treat people that way. I just got so moody all the time and it would affect my behavior. That was when I was younger. I'm also kind of a control freak but I don't let it show. All that Pisces, makes sense why he wants to move so fast. My Pisces Ex moved very fast, and a couple Pisces friends I have fall in love fast and want to move very fast.Posted by thecrazyariestaurusTaurus Sun, Cancer Moon, Taurus Mercury, Pisces Venus & Mars
What's his other placements?
click to expand
Posted by jane84I think I had several signs earlier.. but they were not enough for me to make me walk away..
Hey you have similar placements as a friend of mine!
I didn't read all of that, but skimmed it and saw early proposal and a lot of doubt in your words.
She married a guy within a year. She was unsure about him before the marriage and is having the same issues after. Now she feels stuck in a marriage she's not happy in. Like really not happy in.
If you have doubts, don't rush into marriage. Really get to know him and yourself as far as what you want in a relationship. It's OKAY to walk away.
I am a stubborn Taurus
Posted by TxOgalSo he's worried that you may find someone else the same way you found him. Do you see him in person at all? Maybe he needs more face time with you to feel secure about where you stand.Posted by LadyNeptunea chatting application... he knew I had many net friends guys n girls ... ofcourse I cut contact with all guys now..Posted by TxOgalDid he meet you in a chatroom?Posted by LadyNeptuneas old as I am.. 27. I knew he's so jealous, but I thought he's just being a typical TaurusPosted by TxOgalHe sounds insecure af. How old is he.Posted by LadyNeptuneOk to be clear, he said he wants to stop smoking and he's the one who set that target of cutting it to twice a week. And asked me to keep that in check.. He knew I hated smoking so ofcourse I agreed.
Why are you trying to control him and dictate how often he smokes? You sound like the abusive one honestly.
Later, when I told him something he didn't like... (we had an argument and he wasnt receptive at all to any talk and I told him I needed to talk, and by him being so closed off I'm afraid I might seek a chatroom to vent. He got super mad and it is when he even told me to forget the promise of cutting down on smoke. Cause he hates me being in any chatroom, for thinking I might be talking to guys)click to expand
Posted by LadyNeptuneEvery chance we could.... he tells me why would I need to talk to any other guy? unless it is that I "need" them. I told him because you are closed off, I can't even say a word without you taking it the wrong way.. this is when he started listening.... only for me not to go to a chatroom... huhPosted by TxOgalSo he's worried that you may find someone else the same way you found him. Do you see him in person at all? Maybe he needs more face time with you to feel secure about where you stand.Posted by LadyNeptunea chatting application... he knew I had many net friends guys n girls ... ofcourse I cut contact with all guys now..Posted by TxOgalDid he meet you in a chatroom?Posted by LadyNeptuneas old as I am.. 27. I knew he's so jealous, but I thought he's just being a typical TaurusPosted by TxOgalHe sounds insecure af. How old is he.Posted by LadyNeptuneOk to be clear, he said he wants to stop smoking and he's the one who set that target of cutting it to twice a week. And asked me to keep that in check.. He knew I hated smoking so ofcourse I agreed.
Why are you trying to control him and dictate how often he smokes? You sound like the abusive one honestly.
Later, when I told him something he didn't like... (we had an argument and he wasnt receptive at all to any talk and I told him I needed to talk, and by him being so closed off I'm afraid I might seek a chatroom to vent. He got super mad and it is when he even told me to forget the promise of cutting down on smoke. Cause he hates me being in any chatroom, for thinking I might be talking to guys)click to expand
Posted by TxOgalYeah. I mean you never know... I always believe people can change but ONLY if THEY want to change. My bf was emotionally abusive and controlling to all his exes, and with me he's never been like that. He won't even raise his voice at me when we fight. He's also a Taurus.Posted by thecrazyariestaurusI am glad you realized your behavior soon.. I wish he would have too..Posted by TxOgallol I knew he was watery. I had a feeling you were gonna say cancer moon. Well I'm just saying I'm a Taurus sun/cancer moon and I used to be emotionally abusive. I've stopped that behavior because it's horrible to treat people that way. I just got so moody all the time and it would affect my behavior. That was when I was younger. I'm also kind of a control freak but I don't let it show. All that Pisces, makes sense why he wants to move so fast. My Pisces Ex moved very fast, and a couple Pisces friends I have fall in love fast and want to move very fast.Posted by thecrazyariestaurusTaurus Sun, Cancer Moon, Taurus Mercury, Pisces Venus & Mars
What's his other placements?
click to expand
Posted by tizianiWell I was always so sure he's in love. silly me... I feel now since he blamed me for not supporting him, he is giving up already eventhough he told me he will try to do what dad requested from him.. But now I am not that sure anymore if he is even love, I thought I can wait 3 months and see what is going to happen and if he will fight for me. But maybe it's the same thing he's willing to sense from me..
Well that sounds like he's more infatuated rather than in love, if you feel like he's only doing things to keep your attention rather than of his own initiative. Again this is according to what you said you feel so I don't want to suggest anything but just to say I personally would not marry someone if it didn't have something more than infatuation to it.
Also I don't get why you cut of all your guy friends but that's me.
My mind will blow up... literally..
And about guy friends... well silly me I promised him that I will cut off guy net friends. You have no idea how ugly fighting over such thing was for both of us.. telling him how he does not trust me, and him telling me it is not that he doesnt trust me, but it is that he doesnt trust them. And how theres no such thing as friendship between a man and a woman..
I thought there was something interesting at the end of the first article when it spoke about bring abused in childhood. You mentioned that your dad was an emotional abuser.
I think the best advice is to take things slowly, be aware of any patterns and listen to your gut.
I think the best advice is to take things slowly, be aware of any patterns and listen to your gut.
Posted by TxOgalYes, I know how stubborn Taurus can be all too well. ?Posted by jane84I think I had several signs earlier.. but they were not enough for me to make me walk away..
Hey you have similar placements as a friend of mine!
I didn't read all of that, but skimmed it and saw early proposal and a lot of doubt in your words.
She married a guy within a year. She was unsure about him before the marriage and is having the same issues after. Now she feels stuck in a marriage she's not happy in. Like really not happy in.
If you have doubts, don't rush into marriage. Really get to know him and yourself as far as what you want in a relationship. It's OKAY to walk away.
I am a stubborn Taurusclick to expand
But honestly, she calls me constantly talking about how she is so unhappy. That things need to change etc.
If they don't change before you get married, just please understand that they more than likely will not after you get married. (Yes, things can happen.) But if you have serious doubt, I would not get married right away, no matter how much your heart wants to. I mean, what will it hurt to get to know the guy a little more?
If you are on here asking if he is abusive, I'd say something is telling you to leave...
Posted by tizianiI'm happy you could bring her out of those messy thoughts .... Obviously I could not always deal with his irrational requests ....I could not understand it sometimes.... Let me tell you when he once told me about an old female colleague who texted him on some occasion, he got so doubtful that I didnt feel mad about it and that i didnt feel jealous .. He thought something is wrong lol .... I ended up telling him ... Well ofcourse i wanted to know who is she... But tbh I didnt even care ... I trust him and thats it for me. I am not like him.Posted by TxOgalPosted by tizianiWell I was always so sure he's in love. silly me... I feel now since he blamed me for not supporting him, he is giving up already eventhough he told me he will try to do what dad requested from him.. But now I am not that sure anymore if he is even love, I thought I can wait 3 months and see what is going to happen and if he will fight for me. But maybe it's the same thing he's willing to sense from me..
Well that sounds like he's more infatuated rather than in love, if you feel like he's only doing things to keep your attention rather than of his own initiative. Again this is according to what you said you feel so I don't want to suggest anything but just to say I personally would not marry someone if it didn't have something more than infatuation to it.
Also I don't get why you cut of all your guy friends but that's me.
My mind will blow up... literally..
And about guy friends... well silly me I promised him that I will cut off guy net friends. You have no idea how ugly fighting over such thing was for both of us.. telling him how he does not trust me, and him telling me it is not that he doesnt trust me, but it is that he doesnt trust them. And how theres no such thing as friendship between a man and a woman..
Lol if I had a penny for every time I heard the "it's that I don't trust them" line.
At the end of the day you can't help someone who's just afraid of whatever they are afraid of. There aren't enough guys friends you can cut off in the entire world for them to feel OK. That's his issue to face in his own time and it's not related to you.
My Taurus ex would tell me we met online and we got to know each other by email, so then she would say that if I'm talking to other women online that I could get close to them in the same way too.
In the end I pointed out to her that talking with her about this over and over with the same old argument actually made texting and email someone I was put off with, with any woman, for good or basically just something I grew out of. And I wasn't kidding. Because I admire her a lot and if email/text could put a downer on something as good as that then it's clear it's not working for me.
At first she didn't necessarily get it until I just stopped texting completely, her included.
Nowadays she says she faced her fear and she doesn't let it control her. But that is credit to her for doing that. If I had been in her life to help support her fears or go along with her reasoning at the time, I probably would have held her back and just cost her valuable time.
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Theres one more thing I forgot to mention earlier ...
10. He told me from the start he doesnt like a non-working woman, and how it's a turn off for him when he finds a girl's goal to stay at home to raise her kids for example. At the same time I am at loss in my career, I do not have a stable job yet. Still he told me not to worry ..etc. It made me wonder why he's attracted to me if this is one of the most important things to him that I lack?!
10. He told me from the start he doesnt like a non-working woman, and how it's a turn off for him when he finds a girl's goal to stay at home to raise her kids for example. At the same time I am at loss in my career, I do not have a stable job yet. Still he told me not to worry ..etc. It made me wonder why he's attracted to me if this is one of the most important things to him that I lack?!
Posted by TxOgalPosted by thecrazyariestaurusTaurus Sun, Cancer Moon, Taurus Mercury, Pisces Venus & Mars
What's his other placements?
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Uggghh... cancer moon... i find cancer placements in men can make them emotionally manipulative. I did wonder if this fella might have cancer anywhere in his chart.
Obviously not all men with cancer placements are but some I've encountered reek with manipulation and childish/controlling behaviour so I stay away from them. I find them far too draining.
I am still so torn between whether he really was looking to build a future with me or wanted to use me 😢 ...... whether he's really been trying to manipulate me (unintentionally maybe) or he's controlling, too sensitive, and insecure (he's been telling me about his past relationships and how he finds it hard to fully trust ppl and I remember he's been always telling me not to let him down and be a different person.. which I found put alot of pressure on me).
His last response to me in a rough manner is not helping at all to see any bright side of it... I am still giving him the benefit of the doubt, and that maybe he was feeling under pressure from the whole situation of meeting my dad and responsibilities... etc. but I am growing more worried everyday ... thinking maybe I chose the wrong person, maybe he thought it would be much easier to get hold of me and that now since he figured it's that hard, he just chose to let go of me so easily....
His last response to me in a rough manner is not helping at all to see any bright side of it... I am still giving him the benefit of the doubt, and that maybe he was feeling under pressure from the whole situation of meeting my dad and responsibilities... etc. but I am growing more worried everyday ... thinking maybe I chose the wrong person, maybe he thought it would be much easier to get hold of me and that now since he figured it's that hard, he just chose to let go of me so easily....
Posted by tizianiPart of me knew we are not socially or financially compatible .... But I love him and felt so connected ... I thought that was enough 😢
I'd say if he's not trying to get a hold of you that's a good sign that he's not abusive.
It sounds like you are just not convinced on him, so it's your call at that point.
Update: We had a big fight... I don't want this relationship anymore... We are not even morally compatible... 😢
Posted by tiziani
I'd say if he's not trying to get a hold of you that's a good sign that he's not abusive.
It sounds like you are just not convinced on him, so it's your call at that point.
You were right.... now I'm convinced it's not him that I need in my life
Posted by TxOgalPosted by tizianiPart of me knew we are not socially or financially compatible .... But I love him and felt so connected ... I thought that was enough 😢
I'd say if he's not trying to get a hold of you that's a good sign that he's not abusive.
It sounds like you are just not convinced on him, so it's your call at that point.
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Love and a connection or chemistry isn't enough to sustain a long term relationship.
If you're planning to spend the rest of your life, say the next 40 years, with one person then yes, you do need to be compatible in more areas. If you're not then your relationship is going to be fraught with problems arising from incompatibility across many areas including social and financial.
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My bf of 5 months (LDR), I knew him online about 5 months ago and we connected, I felt very comfortable talking to him. We are from the same country, but he lives in a different country. He asked if he can meet me at a country I'm traveling to the other month and I agreed. Now he proposed to me and asked my father (dad disagrees but didn't let him know yet, he only told him not to talk to me for now until he does a few things they agreed upon first)
What makes me think he's emotionally abusive:
1. In the beginning, after 1 week of talking online, he told me he can't be just friends anymore. At that same time I had feelings for him, but I didn't know if it is rational so I told him we should slow down. He got upset and of course I was afraid I hurt him so I rushed to tell him the very next day that I had feelings for him too. (What do u think about that huh?)
2. He repeated this sentences several times during our relationship.. "I feel that you suffered alot in your life and I want to make it up to you" (Perfect words one would want to hear, you think?)
3. In the beginning of our actual relationship, I told him about a secret that drove him crazy. Even though it was something I've done before I even know him. He got so mad and I thought he was going to leave me. I was already in love and I apologized. (I know now I should have told him he doesn't have the right to be made because it's my life, before even knowing him), a day later it was his birthday, he went out with his friends smoked weed and went to a strip club, (I was shattered, I was going to leave him) but, he was feeling terrible he did those stuff and told me he rushed out of the club after the first 10 mins and even left his best friend behind, because he saw my picture. Ofcourse he claimed he did those stuff cause he was so mad when he knew about my secret.Guess what... after a long argument with him, and hearing him feeling broken, I ended up forgiving him. (DUH!)
4. He is EXTREMELY jealous. He once got out of his mind because an old school friend called me on the phone and I did not even answer it!!! I told bf I didnt do anything wrong, and he shouldnt act like that. He apologized in the end and asked me to "promise him not to let him ruin our relationship" (I found it weird but I just went along with it). Also, he accused me of letting my male cousin hit up on me, which is nonsense ofcourse, me and cousin are close, but he only said that because cousin gave me a ride! He was crazy! And it was a huge fight. We constantly argue about my male friends, I dont even have much and I ended up cutting contact with all of them and told him "I'm not convinced, I'm only doing it for you". He also got mad at that, and told me I'm counting favors.
5. He gets jealous when I spend a long time with my family, but this gradually started getting better. To the point that he asks me to spend more time with them.
6. And again, him getting mad at me that I didn't support him when he proposed to me, and also agreeing to dad's request of not talking for now (even though i texted n called him a couple of times)
Guys, what do you think? is this all normal? or am I exaggerating? Is he only under pressure? or is he trying to make me influence dad's opinion?
Note: Dad thinks it's too soon to propose and that he must be after money. I am 100% sure this is not the case. The times we're together are dream, most of our fights are over him smoking or his jealousy.