The ever so cliche will she come back.

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LordTerramine
@LordTerramine
11 Years500+ PostsLibra

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So my Taurus Sun, Aquarius Moon, Aquarius rising friend just removed me and probably blocked me too? I doubt she's coming back but I thought I'd check with peeps here? I was venting to her about stuff, and when it got to me saying I was taken away from my mom and placed in foster care she kind of laughed... well she was like "lol wat". But I ended up flipping on her because well, who laughs at that? It hurt VASTLY, like you have no idea. I had a panic attack just from that.

I don't even know if she's seen ANYTHING I've said. She was quite thorough on removing me and there's no reason for me to suspect she didn't also block me on everything. But if she did get anything I said it can be summed up in sounding UTTERLY DESPERATE as I was going through severe trauma. But then afterwards I pulled myself together and said something that I think changed the tone completely. Basically saying I'd be find and that i just hope she'll find happiness?

I just need to know if what the likelihood of her being gone is? I can handle her leaving I guess... will be pretty broken up about it for a minute but I can deal. It'll help process things faster to get an answer.
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rockyroadicecream
@rockyroadicecream
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So from what you're saying, it was something like,

"Yeah, I was taken away from my mom and put into foster care."

"lol what?"


If this is the case, I'm not understanding why you freaked out. "lol what" in my experience, usually is along the same lines of "seriously? or "are you for real?"

Not literally laughing at you.

From now on, you need to vent to a psychologist or in a group session with those who have dealt with such traumas. Not a friend who's the same age as you who has likely zero life experience in anything, seeing as how many in your age group are stupidly sheltered.

Whether or not she comes back around would remain to be unseen as you didn't supply much info like how long she's been your friend or any other information other than you accusing her of "laughing" at you being put into foster care.

If I had a friend who was that sensitive about misunderstanding something, I'd distance myself for awhile. Maybe not drop them entirely, but distance myself.

If she's your age, I wouldn't be surprised if she headed for the hills and never looked back. People are so immature and selfish anymore, you'd be lucky if she were to come back around. "Omg he flipped out over NOTHING. That dude is psycho!"

Not that I think you are or that thinking such things is justified, but this is the type of response I'd expect from this numb nut generation of apathetic, self absorbed pricks. People just do not take the time or effort to better understand. They just file any sort of emotion into the "crazy" department and take off.

That said, if this is the case with her, why worry about her sticking around? Did she apologize or just take off? If she took off without apology, good riddance. You don't need "friends" like that, tbh.
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LordTerramine
@LordTerramine
11 Years500+ PostsLibra

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Posted by rockyroadicecream
*snip*

I also have Asperger Syndrome, so my brain processes things at face value like dictionary definitions. I just processed that she "laughed" and that was it. Plus even if I had taken it the way you're suggesting... well then she's still treating it like it's insignificant? Probably still would've hit pretty deep. Don't take me as oversensitive, this was a very non-trivial and personal thing. As for venting, well I wasn't expecting her to help me or give me advice. I handle my own problems. I was just venting to vent.

Anyways I've known her for a little more than a month now?
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rockyroadicecream
@rockyroadicecream
13 Years10,000+ Posts

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No?

The way it could have been read was that she was surprised that you were telling her that. "Seriously? I had no idea." If someone weren't to know that about you and you blind sided them with such a serious trauma, a lot of people would react in a similar fashion.

You've only known her a month? Pfft. Why are you opening up to someone about something so serious when you barely know her? While I agree that her reaction was stupid, I don't think it was worth freaking out like you did either. You should also save such deep topics for those who aren't immature children or for friends who have proven long AFTER a month that you can confide such things in them.

Regardless, it still sounds more like good riddance than "what if she comes back?"
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LordTerramine
@LordTerramine
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*Insight @ last message.
Posted by Octoberbaby91
That was insensitive of her if you tell her something serious like that she should watch her words carefully.

You may have overreacted a little but she still shouldn't have "lol" anything like that. Still no reason for her to end the friendship if you didn't say anything too harsh.

oh well lesson learned on both ends.

All I said was:
Her: "Lol wat"
Me: "Don't laugh at that"
Me: "what the fuck is wrong with you"
Her: "Calm down...I thought it was a joke"
Her: "or that you said that to make me laugh..."
Me: "what... a joke... are you fucking kidding me... just wow"

As far as the "harshness" of my words go.
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LordTerramine
@LordTerramine
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Comments: 1 · Posts: 521 · Topics: 11
Posted by rockyroadicecream
No?

The way it could have been read was that she was surprised that you were telling her that. "Seriously? I had no idea." If someone weren't to know that about you and you blind sided them with such a serious trauma, a lot of people would react in a similar fashion.

You've only known her a month? Pfft. Why are you opening up to someone about something so serious when you barely know her? While I agree that her reaction was stupid, I don't think it was worth freaking out like you did either. You should also save such deep topics for those who aren't immature children or for friends who have proven long AFTER a month that you can confide such things in them.

Regardless, it still sounds more like good riddance than "what if she comes back?"

Nah she said she "thought it was a joke". But anyways, I don't want to make this about me or something. You're right that I shouldn't have flipped out at all.
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LordTerramine
@LordTerramine
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Posted by TaurusGirlRas
Seriously as Aqua moon : I laugh at wrong times at funerals, when I get bad news or someone cries. Idk why. I'm not actually laughing I actually feel like sxit but it's like a glitch when an Aqua moon deals w/ emotion or someone wants an emotional response from them. It comes out in alien like ways. Don't over think about it

Alright, I feel you. Wish this could've been her explanation :/
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freshnog
@freshnog
10 Years

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I'm taurus sun aquarius moon. Did your conversation start in light or serious tone? If it's me and we're just talking about random things, I can also think you're just kidding at first. I somehow don't like talking about serious stuffs if I'm not in the mood and I may end up not really empathize with someone especially if we're not really close. Anyways, I think she's also disappointed with herself not being able to comfort you and just need some space.
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rockyroadicecream
@rockyroadicecream
13 Years10,000+ Posts

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Posted by LordTerramine
Posted by rockyroadicecream
No?

The way it could have been read was that she was surprised that you were telling her that. "Seriously? I had no idea." If someone weren't to know that about you and you blind sided them with such a serious trauma, a lot of people would react in a similar fashion.

You've only known her a month? Pfft. Why are you opening up to someone about something so serious when you barely know her? While I agree that her reaction was stupid, I don't think it was worth freaking out like you did either. You should also save such deep topics for those who aren't immature children or for friends who have proven long AFTER a month that you can confide such things in them.

Regardless, it still sounds more like good riddance than "what if she comes back?"

Nah she said she "thought it was a joke". But anyways, I don't want to make this about me or something. You're right that I shouldn't have flipped out at all.
click to expand




No, you have a right to be upset if you felt she was being insensitive. I'm not dismissing that bit. I just think your reaction was a bit overkill over a misunderstanding. Just as I thought, she didn't know what to think when you sprung that info on her. You responded aggressively, she explained what she thought you meant, and you continued to be aggressive toward her not even accepting that there was a misunderstanding. You continued to treat it as an insult/personal attack. THAT'S likely what made her head for the hills.

Maybe she'll come back around and apologize because I'm sure she feels bad, but you're partially to blame for the outcome of this too.

But like I said, a friend of only a month and she runs this easily? Fair weather friend for sure. I wouldn't lose any sleep over it if I were you.
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SpiceNSugar
@SpiceNSugar
12 Years1,000+ Posts

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I agree with a lot of what RRIC has said. This girl was probably taken aback by your confession and said what she did out of surprise and not to make fun of your situation.

Unfortunately, because it's naturally a sensitive issue for you, you REACTED and things spiraled downward from there.

Obviously, I can't say if she'll be back, but if she does come out, try to keep in mind that the liklihood is high that she wasn't meaning to be a bitch.

Otherwise, RRIC is also right that many people are unable to handle talking about traumatic experiences so you're better off counting on professionals for that.

Opening up to others a little bit at a time gauging their reactions and behaviors so it doesn't trigger you to wig out if they don't respond how you would want.
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Theatrum
@Theatrum
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Posted by TaurusGirlRas
Seriously as Aqua moon : I laugh at wrong times at funerals, when I get bad news or someone cries. Idk why. I'm not actually laughing I actually feel like sxit but it's like a glitch when an Aqua moon deals w/ emotion or someone wants an emotional response from them. It comes out in alien like ways. Don't over think about it



+1 to infinity, this is exactly what happens to me.
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LordTerramine
@LordTerramine
11 Years500+ PostsLibra

Comments: 1 · Posts: 521 · Topics: 11
Posted by Theatrum
Posted by TaurusGirlRas
Seriously as Aqua moon : I laugh at wrong times at funerals, when I get bad news or someone cries. Idk why. I'm not actually laughing I actually feel like sxit but it's like a glitch when an Aqua moon deals w/ emotion or someone wants an emotional response from them. It comes out in alien like ways. Don't over think about it



+1 to infinity, this is exactly what happens to me.
click to expand


That is so cute tho, it's like a robot gettin the feelz. Error: Does Not Compute
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Theatrum
@Theatrum
12 Years1,000+ Posts

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Posted by LordTerramine
Posted by Theatrum
Posted by TaurusGirlRas
Seriously as Aqua moon : I laugh at wrong times at funerals, when I get bad news or someone cries. Idk why. I'm not actually laughing I actually feel like sxit but it's like a glitch when an Aqua moon deals w/ emotion or someone wants an emotional response from them. It comes out in alien like ways. Don't over think about it



+1 to infinity, this is exactly what happens to me.

That is so cute tho, it's like a robot gettin the feelz. Error: Does Not Compute
click to expand




LOL.





"This connection has limited or no connectivity."
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LordTerramine
@LordTerramine
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Posted by INTJBull
I'm a Taurus with a Gemini moon & I can totally see myself reacting the way this girl did. I don't do emotions well at all. I'm the person you come to when you need to figure out how to fix something, not to vent. It's not that I don't care or can't empathize, I do, but emotions make me so uncomfortable that I focus more on how to fix the negative emotions & I know that makes me seem cold 😢 I've even had friends tell me that my honesty isn't helpful & that I'm cold hearted which makes me feel like shit because my intentions are good. I'm guessing that's why my closest friends are also not very emotional people.

Anyway, if I were her.... I would probably not come back around. I would feel misunderstood & also after only knowing you for a month I would figure that I'm probably not the kind of friend you need right now. If this happened & you reached out to me & apologized for your reaction & explained logically why you reacted that way I would accept your apology, explain myself in hopes of an understanding from you & continue a friendship but I would be guarded & worry that I would inadvertently cause you react the same way in the future. So it probably wouldn't be a close friendship.

Hm, the only difference is you would give me the chance to apologize? She didn't. She was gone before that.
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TaurusBull1977
@TaurusBull1977
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Posted by LordTerramine
All I said was:
Her: "Lol wat"
Me: "Don't laugh at that"
Me: "what the fuck is wrong with you"
Her: "Calm down...I thought it was a joke"
Her: "or that you said that to make me laugh..."
Me: "what... a joke... are you fucking kidding me... just wow"

As far as the "harshness" of my words go.



You gave her a mouthful...venting.
Which simply means the two of you don't really know each other.
During the initial stages of courtship, certain topics are usually considered.
Ask yourself why this segment of your life was never discussed.
We can't answer that for you.
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TaurusBull1977
@TaurusBull1977
16 Years1,000+ Posts

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Posted by INTJBull
I'm a Taurus with a Gemini moon & I can totally see myself reacting the way this girl did. I don't do emotions well at all. I'm the person you come to when you need to figure out how to fix something, not to vent. It's not that I don't care or can't empathize, I do, but emotions make me so uncomfortable that I focus more on how to fix the negative emotions & I know that makes me seem cold 😢 I've even had friends tell me that my honesty isn't helpful & that I'm cold hearted which makes me feel like shit because my intentions are good. I'm guessing that's why my closest friends are also not very emotional people.



Wow, this is me!

Also a Taurus Sun, Gemini Moon.
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LordTerramine
@LordTerramine
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By what definition do you call these people CLOSE? If you're not INTIMATELY CLOSE? They're one in the same for me? That's the only thing that can really "change" and "get closer". I can get intimate with you, otherwise you're a minion who probably needs to get back to work.

I can understand brutal honesty. But what is there to fix about having been taken away from you mother when you were a toddle? Absolutely nothing, I just want someone to hear what I've been through and still accept me despite all that shit?
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LordTerramine
@LordTerramine
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Posted by INTJBull
*snip*I don't necessarily mean YOU personally LT, just you, in general.*snip*

I was going to say, as I said previously... I resolve them /on my own/. I'm really good at working on my own. I grew up on my own in this world. So I can handle myself and my own emotions. I just vent because I have to get it off my chest? Yes it's still affecting me emotionally, but that's something I'm going to address on my own time.

I feel you on the nobody listening to me thing. But see that's where MY intimacy is at. I listen to everything word you have to say, every last one. Even if you were to literally write a whole fucking book about it I would read the whole thing. You have my undivided attention always without fail, you /ARE/ my world and you /ARE/ the only one in the world as far as I can see.

In fact right now I feel that way towards someone who is gone from my life and I doubt they'll ever be back? But I'm ok with that, why would them being gone mean they stop being important to me? That's ridiculous. They're still out there somewhere, they still exist and they still are who they are.