lisabeth
@lisabethur8
13 Years50,000+ Posts
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Single mothers...
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Too many variables to consider/deal with. Is the father in the picture, is there still chemistry/unresolved feelings between them, is the woman too flaky alternating between new and old man.........too much.
So
So
Posted by RemixGeneralFishyaw really?
Too many variables to consider/deal with. Is the father in the picture, is there still chemistry/unresolved feelings between them, is the woman too flaky alternating between new and old man.........too much.
So
no saving the woman and nurturing her and her baby?
why would it be stupid? it's in it's nature, the need to save, love, nurture a woman and her child.
deny it all you want, but it's true.
call me dumb, whatever, but it's what I see.
deny it all you want, but it's true.
call me dumb, whatever, but it's what I see.
well it's true, women have it rougher than men. because they carry the burden of having children and then they have to get out there and work full time and who is taking care of their children— they have to hire a baby sitter and if they're lucky someone will care for them cause daycare is expensive.
you don't think for one minute that those "independent" women who are not struggling so much with children secretly wish to have a man to save her too?
no one is saying inferior but you. That's all in YOUR mind lady. lol hilarious.
I just personally think that a lot of women secretly want to be nurtured /loved /saved or whatever it is from a man who is willing to sacrifice ALOT of their time and responsibility for them. that is sacrifice too from their end. It's not easy.
you don't think for one minute that those "independent" women who are not struggling so much with children secretly wish to have a man to save her too?
no one is saying inferior but you. That's all in YOUR mind lady. lol hilarious.
I just personally think that a lot of women secretly want to be nurtured /loved /saved or whatever it is from a man who is willing to sacrifice ALOT of their time and responsibility for them. that is sacrifice too from their end. It's not easy.
It's the 21st century, deer, women are more than capable of taking care of themselves. Besides, I'm gay but I can still relate.
it's called needing someone in your life.
jeez. this is why some people stay single. ya'll don't want/need/desire someone to love?
all this talk of independence, blah blah.
jeez. this is why some people stay single. ya'll don't want/need/desire someone to love?
all this talk of independence, blah blah.
Posted by Sagsagsagsim the opposite of you. I have tried working out there in the real world and i'm not ambitiouis and I don't like it. lol we are opposite.
Hi, a single mother here ?
Nobody has it easy, whether you're single, married or divorced with kid.
What I have learned from time to time, is that to fall in love you need to be able to be in love with yourself first, thus, when you're married your happiness does not solely depend on your partner.
Looking back, I was a stay at home Mom when I was married with a reliable and hardworking Virgo who took care of everything for me. Was I happy? Hell no.. If I was, I would still be married to him.
Staying at home, seeing your life in a flash, remembering your dreams, not working towards it was a big nightmare for me. No matter how well my ex hub could provide, i also want to be the independent me.
I always say that being a stay at home wife and Mom requires special talent. A talent that I will never have, hey I tried and ended up getting frustrated ✌
Yes, Life is a hustle... not a burden, and I was the one who chooses this way anw. If I needed somebody to "save" me, I'm already married by now ?
I love being homebody and staying at home with my family and snuggling with my hubbykins!!! I love it soooooooo much!!!! yay!!!!! *happy burst of energy today* heehee.
Posted by Harukkalol
You are kind of "proud married female"
Good for you by the way lol
the topic is really about what I witnessed last night at a party.
actually what some of us ladies witnessed, and it's rare that there are men who go for a woman with children.
to be honest, those are not the types of men I go for though. I notice that.
but I can APPRECIATE them like the other women have.
it's just a sad fact of life.that it's rare and not everyone wants those types, yet there are women who really appreciate those types too!! there's something /someone for everyone.
Posted by PV&JellayPosted by lisabethur8Posted by Harukkalol
You are kind of "proud married female"
Good for you by the way lol
the topic is really about what I witnessed last night at a party.
actually what some of us ladies witnessed, and it's rare that there are men who go for a woman with children.
to be honest, those are not the types of men I go for though. I notice that.
but I can APPRECIATE them like the other women have.
it's just a sad fact of life.that it's rare and not everyone wants those types, yet there are women who really appreciate those types too!! there's something /someone for everyone.
If he primarily goes for women with children I find that shit suspicious, not sweet. **jaded social worker**
click to expand
he really isn't a bad guy at all.
he has a great career, hard worker.
and the woman in question has babies from another man, and she is pretty, and the man had left her. abandoned.
edit - the woman has NOTHING, in terms of materialism, wealth, nothing....
only her children.
it's as if he is rescuing her.
Posted by PV&JellayPosted by lisabethur8Posted by PV&JellayPosted by lisabethur8Posted by Harukkalol
You are kind of "proud married female"
Good for you by the way lol
the topic is really about what I witnessed last night at a party.
actually what some of us ladies witnessed, and it's rare that there are men who go for a woman with children.
to be honest, those are not the types of men I go for though. I notice that.
but I can APPRECIATE them like the other women have.
it's just a sad fact of life.that it's rare and not everyone wants those types, yet there are women who really appreciate those types too!! there's something /someone for everyone.
If he primarily goes for women with children I find that shit suspicious, not sweet. **jaded social worker**
he really isn't a bad guy at all.
he has a great career, hard worker.
and the woman in question has babies from another man, and she is pretty, and the man had left her. abandoned.
edit - the woman has NOTHING, in terms of materialism, wealth, nothing....
only her children.
it's as if he is rescuing her.
I don't know that she needs saving, nor that he is a hero. Sorry, I can't read any more of this without face palming. I also can't bring myself to be mean to you so I'm bowing out of this convo.
click to expand
😕
fine. but I don't know why so much negativity over certain men who fall for women with children? I don't get it.
and why is the term "hero" and "damsel" so negative in these parts. If it's the truth, it's the truth. some women do want a hero.
Posted by Aliensusedourbogrolloh gross. if that's the case, then that's sick and that guy needs to be put behind bars.
I think what PV&Jellay might be inferring is that those men who are interested in women with children don't have a very 'healthy and innocent' interest in the children. Not all men but when PV&Jelly said her bit, something in my brain clicked. I could be reading too much into what she said though.
nope, the guy last night, he's really a great guy. we've known him for awhile and he's really amazing.
his mother, god bless her, is a social worker working with children, so I guess he is kind of the same like his momma. He loves what his momma is doing, and so caring, nurturing, and he's the same as his momma. (his father abandoned them) so he hates that!!! that's why....
it may be psychological. but it makes him happy.
Some men are shallow and they recognize it, they don't want a woman with children but it's their choice. Other men can love a woman for who she is and accept the many aspects of her.
Some women are needy and desperately need help with their lives and others are on top not giving a shit.
It's a fine balance, like anything else.
Some women are needy and desperately need help with their lives and others are on top not giving a shit.
It's a fine balance, like anything else.
Posted by Aliensusedourbogrolloh for goodness sakes. *smh* most people out there are good people and have good intentions; not everyone is evil and cruel.Posted by lisabethur8I genuinely hope you're right!Posted by Aliensusedourbogrolloh gross. if that's the case, then that's sick and that guy needs to be put behind bars.
I think what PV&Jellay might be inferring is that those men who are interested in women with children don't have a very 'healthy and innocent' interest in the children. Not all men but when PV&Jelly said her bit, something in my brain clicked. I could be reading too much into what she said though.
nope, the guy last night, he's really a great guy. we've known him for awhile and he's really amazing.
his mother, god bless her, is a social worker working with children, so I guess he is kind of the same like his momma. He loves what his momma is doing, and so caring, nurturing, and he's the same as his momma. (his father abandoned them) so he hates that!!! that's why....
it may be psychological. but it makes him happy.click to expand
Posted by aquapiscescuspnot many men answered to say otherwise but I bet it's rare.
Some men are shallow and they recognize it, they don't want a woman with children but it's their choice. Other men can love a woman for who she is and accept the many aspects of her.
Some women are needy and desperately need help with their lives and others are on top not giving a shit.
It's a fine balance, like anything else.
the mother's, grandmther's in the party were saying that it's rare. so they all recognize that.
Posted by PV&Jellaymy sister would think this, honestly now that I think about it. She works for the government too, and getting abused parents.Posted by Aliensusedourbogroll
I think what PV&Jellay might be inferring is that those men who are interested in women with children don't have a very 'healthy and innocent' interest in the children. Not all men but when PV@Jelly said her bit, something in my brain clicked. I could be reading too much into what she said though.
Nope. You read me absolutely right. If he dates one or two women who has children cool. But if all the women he dates have children, and he doesn't have any of his own...I'm side eying him. That's a whole other topic than this one though.
click to expand
the things she sees.
Posted by Arielle83maybe for you, you can hold your own. but not many women do still. that's the truth of it all.Posted by PV&JellayI watched a doco about the tactics pedos use and the whole chemical castration thing.Posted by lisabethur8Posted by Harukkalol
You are kind of "proud married female"
Good for you by the way lol
the topic is really about what I witnessed last night at a party.
actually what some of us ladies witnessed, and it's rare that there are men who go for a woman with children.
to be honest, those are not the types of men I go for though. I notice that.
but I can APPRECIATE them like the other women have.
it's just a sad fact of life.that it's rare and not everyone wants those types, yet there are women who really appreciate those types too!! there's something /someone for everyone.
If he primarily goes for women with children I find that shit suspicious, not sweet. **jaded social worker**
Some of the men admitted to targeting single mothers. Mainly because some single mothers are looking to love or be loved. They are needy and then the man acts like a perfect father figure. Grooming the mother and nurturing the kids.
Allowing him to babysit.
Developing trust.
Some women go through men quickly and let their guard down quick if they're lonely.
Some mothers are already aware of the creepiness of wanting to nurture another man's child, right off the bat.
This is why the biological father's are suspicious or territorial.
It makes no sense to want to step in so quickly.
"Saving" a single mom is one of the most fucked up thing I've ever heard.
It's 2016, women can hold their own heads.
click to expand
you can't just rant and rave about other women like that cause you're not in their shoes. I mean yeah you can rant and rave, but then you don't know their lives, so it doesn't seem very empathetic.
Posted by Capri-sunPosted by Arielle83Posted by PV&JellayI watched a doco about the tactics pedos use and the whole chemical castration thing.Posted by lisabethur8Posted by Harukkalol
You are kind of "proud married female"
Good for you by the way lol
the topic is really about what I witnessed last night at a party.
actually what some of us ladies witnessed, and it's rare that there are men who go for a woman with children.
to be honest, those are not the types of men I go for though. I notice that.
but I can APPRECIATE them like the other women have.
it's just a sad fact of life.that it's rare and not everyone wants those types, yet there are women who really appreciate those types too!! there's something /someone for everyone.
If he primarily goes for women with children I find that shit suspicious, not sweet. **jaded social worker**
Some of the men admitted to targeting single mothers. Mainly because some single mothers are looking to love or be loved. They are needy and then the man acts like a perfect father figure. Grooming the mother and nurturing the kids.
Allowing him to babysit.
Developing trust.
Some women go through men quickly and let their guard down quick if they're lonely.
Some mothers are already aware of the creepiness of wanting to nurture another man's child, right off the bat.
This is why the biological father's are suspicious or territorial.
It makes no sense to want to step in so quickly.
"Saving" a single mom is one of the most fucked up thing I've ever heard.
It's 2016, women can hold their own heads.
This is why I'm slow in dating. Could care less if I wind up single until my children are adults. It happens way too often unfortunately.
click to expand
thing is, you are DESIRING to want to partner though. I can see it in your posts. your libra moon needs to partner. you can say all you want that you don't need anyone but you truly do.
Posted by AliensusedourbogrollPosted by lisabethur8*shrugs*Posted by Aliensusedourbogrolloh for goodness sakes. *smh* most people out there are good people and have good intentions; not everyone is evil and cruel.Posted by lisabethur8I genuinely hope you're right!Posted by Aliensusedourbogrolloh gross. if that's the case, then that's sick and that guy needs to be put behind bars.
I think what PV&Jellay might be inferring is that those men who are interested in women with children don't have a very 'healthy and innocent' interest in the children. Not all men but when PV&Jelly said her bit, something in my brain clicked. I could be reading too much into what she said though.
nope, the guy last night, he's really a great guy. we've known him for awhile and he's really amazing.
his mother, god bless her, is a social worker working with children, so I guess he is kind of the same like his momma. He loves what his momma is doing, and so caring, nurturing, and he's the same as his momma. (his father abandoned them) so he hates that!!! that's why....
it may be psychological. but it makes him happy.
I know not everyone is evil and cruel but it only has to happen once for it to be bad. I'm not saying he's a dodgy guy with evil intentions but PV&Jelly has experience with this kind of stuff. I'm gonna be questioning his intentions in my head. Silent questioning is different to outright accusing.
On a different note I do think it's a really sweet thing when good intentioned guys give single mothers a go. I would find it scary and overwhelming myself. Those guys are brave.click to expand
yes when it's true and genuine, I admire it. (not for any evil devious intentions of course)
they are truly brave.
Posted by Koniuchaaprojection. mirroring.Posted by lisabethur8Yet here you are, ranting and raving and you aren't in these women shoes. Not very empathetic. ?Posted by Arielle83maybe for you, you can hold your own. but not many women do still. that's the truth of it all.Posted by PV&JellayI watched a doco about the tactics pedos use and the whole chemical castration thing.Posted by lisabethur8Posted by Harukkalol
You are kind of "proud married female"
Good for you by the way lol
the topic is really about what I witnessed last night at a party.
actually what some of us ladies witnessed, and it's rare that there are men who go for a woman with children.
to be honest, those are not the types of men I go for though. I notice that.
but I can APPRECIATE them like the other women have.
it's just a sad fact of life.that it's rare and not everyone wants those types, yet there are women who really appreciate those types too!! there's something /someone for everyone.
If he primarily goes for women with children I find that shit suspicious, not sweet. **jaded social worker**
Some of the men admitted to targeting single mothers. Mainly because some single mothers are looking to love or be loved. They are needy and then the man acts like a perfect father figure. Grooming the mother and nurturing the kids.
Allowing him to babysit.
Developing trust.
Some women go through men quickly and let their guard down quick if they're lonely.
Some mothers are already aware of the creepiness of wanting to nurture another man's child, right off the bat.
This is why the biological father's are suspicious or territorial.
It makes no sense to want to step in so quickly.
"Saving" a single mom is one of the most fucked up thing I've ever heard.
It's 2016, women can hold their own heads.
you can't just rant and rave about other women like that cause you're not in their shoes. I mean yeah you can rant and rave, but then you don't know their lives, so it doesn't seem very empathetic.click to expand
this topic brings out some interesting truths.
if he is with her because he likes her then it is great he also likes her kids, but if he likes her only because she is a single mother, that is odd.
Posted by puhleezeI guess people think nasty thoughts first.
if he is with her because he likes her then it is great he also likes her kids, but if he likes her only because she is a single mother, that is odd.
I didn't get that vibe from him at all. and none of the other women did too.
just wanted a "general" idea, feel of what other men thought, and also women too.
it's interesting to see the suspiciousness.
Posted by lisabethur8Posted by puhleezeI guess people think nasty thoughts first.
if he is with her because he likes her then it is great he also likes her kids, but if he likes her only because she is a single mother, that is odd.
I didn't get that vibe from him at all. and none of the other women did too.
just wanted a "general" idea, feel of what other men thought, and also women too.
it's interesting to see the suspiciousness.click to expand
it is because in the OP it sounded like he likes her because she is a single mother, not that he likes her and she is a single mother and he is cool with that. i mean he is a good guy for liking and accepting the kids, but main question in a relationship should be do they like each other. like does he specifically like single mothers, because he loves (genuinely) kids and wants someone who already has them? that is also a possibility and maybe not a negative one.
Posted by puhleezePosted by lisabethur8Posted by puhleezeI guess people think nasty thoughts first.
if he is with her because he likes her then it is great he also likes her kids, but if he likes her only because she is a single mother, that is odd.
I didn't get that vibe from him at all. and none of the other women did too.
just wanted a "general" idea, feel of what other men thought, and also women too.
it's interesting to see the suspiciousness.
it is because in the OP it sounded like he likes her because she is a single mother, not that he likes her and she is a single mother and he is cool with that. i mean he is a good guy for liking and accepting the kids, but main question in a relationship should be do they like each other. like does he specifically like single mothers, because he loves (genuinely) kids and wants someone who already has them? that is also a possibility and maybe not a negative one.
click to expand
from what was said, the man in question has an affinity for children and he even changes diapers, cares, nurtures, and is more attentive than the mother at times. Holds the baby ect.
but we have seen him and his girlfriend (the mother) go outside and cuddle and kiss. So he is romantic and loving too. We thought...aw he is so attentive to both mother and children.
and he even tells the other children who are older to watch out for the babies and don't be too rough around them. So kind!!!
Posted by Librasetting
Yes i would date a woman with kids.. I have multiple times only because I can't have children that I know of.i also know what it's like not having a father and as a guy you basically have to teach yourself how to be a man and you go through a lot of shit growing up because the only feed back you get is from your mother is some emotional shit that you shouldn't be telling him because your a woman like "it's okay to cry and to show your emotions" it's not btw you're only hurting your son!!!!and no male has ever been in his life to teach him otherwise.you sit here wondering why most guys are passive or don't approach or make moves it's because that's how he was taught!!! So I'm not trying to save the female I'm trying to save your little boy from more than you'll ever truly know or can understand...
a lot of young boys who grow up with a good stepfather will be ever so grateful.
edit -- even young girls too. But they need their mothers.
@sagsag,
"You're one of the few who's blessed with that talent then! ? I also have 1 bestfriend, who graduated summa cumlaude and when she got married she became a stay at home Mom and is very happy with it! .. I was like: "you are the last person on earth I'd ever imagine staying at home" LOL ?"
lol yeah. I love it.
sorry to hear about your aunt. Some women, just don't have an "outlet" or family, loved ones to get away to. It's sad. but it's the reality.
"You're one of the few who's blessed with that talent then! ? I also have 1 bestfriend, who graduated summa cumlaude and when she got married she became a stay at home Mom and is very happy with it! .. I was like: "you are the last person on earth I'd ever imagine staying at home" LOL ?"
lol yeah. I love it.
sorry to hear about your aunt. Some women, just don't have an "outlet" or family, loved ones to get away to. It's sad. but it's the reality.
that's why they have women's shelters out there too to help women. Hoping they get away from abusive men ect.
Women do have options out there. They just have to get away and find the courage to leave abusive,toxic relationships.
Women do have options out there. They just have to get away and find the courage to leave abusive,toxic relationships.
Posted by Amethysstbeing financially set and independent isn't the point here...
I disagree with this whole fuckin thread.
As a single mother, I've noticed being in a relationship takes a lot more work than being single and worrying about my child. At times I can do without the extra because I'm set financially. My life is doing great and I don't need "saving". Being with someone is an added plus not a necessity.
it's having a man who loves the woman, and also because they love the woman, enjoying her company , the extension of her, is her children, so of he loves all of her extensions, all part of her.
edit - look at the libra man's post above.
it really helps your children to have a good stepfather too.
Posted by AmethysstI was actually. from the single mother's POV from last night. Yes, I can see it. I understand where she's coming from and she is glowing with happiness.Posted by lisabethur8My problem with your post is you trying to speak from the single mothers POV, when you are not one yourself. I could tell you from my experience what it's personally like. It's not logical to write inaccurate statements just from what you saw.. on a day to day basis living that life is different for each and every single mother. You generalize and/or you know what's best or what you think she needs.. it doesn't work that way. There are women out there who choose to be single because it's less of a hassle for them and their children grow up to be fine. Sometimes having a stepfather doesn't make it better.Posted by Amethysstbeing financially set and independent isn't the point here...
I disagree with this whole fuckin thread.
As a single mother, I've noticed being in a relationship takes a lot more work than being single and worrying about my child. At times I can do without the extra because I'm set financially. My life is doing great and I don't need "saving". Being with someone is an added plus not a necessity.
it's having a man who loves the woman, and also because they love the woman, enjoying her company , the extension of her, is her children, so of he loves all of her extensions, all part of her.
edit - look at the libra man's post above.
it really helps your children to have a good stepfather too.click to expand
of course I understand it's not the same with every single mother, but it is a question to pose for men out there, if they would help/aid the single mother. Because when you get into a relationship with a woman with children, you ARE aiding/helping them.
i was also talking mostly about women who have no fathers for the children. Not women of divorce who have their ex's also help take care of the children part time. he is still the father figure.
there are a lot of single mothers who have no fathers, abandonment, men who leave after the child is born. or when the woman got pregnant.
and if the children come from divorce, you don't need a stepfather, who helps you riase your children because they already have a father.
but i'm talking mostly about women who have no one.
edit - oh if the women don't want a man in their life to help with the children, then so be it.
not every woman is the same.
i was just witnessing about that particular situation and it triggered me. I thought, too that it is rare.
but i'm talking mostly about women who have no one.
edit - oh if the women don't want a man in their life to help with the children, then so be it.
not every woman is the same.
i was just witnessing about that particular situation and it triggered me. I thought, too that it is rare.
Posted by lisabethur8Disney mentality
why would it be stupid? it's in it's nature, the need to save, love, nurture a woman and her child.
deny it all you want, but it's true.
call me dumb, whatever, but it's what I see.
I have a female friend in her late 30s who's ideal man would already have children.
She has no interest in bearing her own children but has a lot of love and support to give.
So yes, these people do exist.
She has no interest in bearing her own children but has a lot of love and support to give.
So yes, these people do exist.
Posted by Sagsagsagsgosh why doesn't someone do something?
it's been going on for more than 20 years, it's hard. It's like she has lost her self value. Once a month she'll flee to my parent's house only to return to her husband again 2 days later. Sigh
on 2nd thought that might not be a good idea...
i watched this film where a police officer told this abusive man (who beats his wife ) that if he ever hits his wife again, he's gonna kill him and then let him go, and let him return to his wife. his wife was found dead later by being beaten to death.'
some men are really scary.
Posted by Amethysstexcuse me—?Posted by lisabethur8Posted by AmethysstI was actually. from the single mother's POV from last night. Yes, I can see it. I understand where she's coming from and she is glowing with happiness.Posted by lisabethur8My problem with your post is you trying to speak from the single mothers POV, when you are not one yourself. I could tell you from my experience what it's personally like. It's not logical to write inaccurate statements just from what you saw.. on a day to day basis living that life is different for each and every single mother. You generalize and/or you know what's best or what you think she needs.. it doesn't work that way. There are women out there who choose to be single because it's less of a hassle for them and their children grow up to be fine. Sometimes having a stepfather doesn't make it better.Posted by Amethysstbeing financially set and independent isn't the point here...
I disagree with this whole fuckin thread.
As a single mother, I've noticed being in a relationship takes a lot more work than being single and worrying about my child. At times I can do without the extra because I'm set financially. My life is doing great and I don't need "saving". Being with someone is an added plus not a necessity.
it's having a man who loves the woman, and also because they love the woman, enjoying her company , the extension of her, is her children, so of he loves all of her extensions, all part of her.
edit - look at the libra man's post above.
it really helps your children to have a good stepfather too.
of course I understand it's not the same with every single mother, but it is a question to pose for men out there, if they would help/aid the single mother. Because when you get into a relationship with a woman with children, you ARE aiding/helping them.
i was also talking mostly about women who have no fathers for the children. Not women of divorce who have their ex's also help take care of the children part time. he is still the father figure.
there are a lot of single mothers who have no fathers, abandonment, men who leave after the child is born. or when the woman got pregnant.
You SEE it, but you don't LIVE it.
This is an extremely controversial topic for many women and I believed you overstepped those boundaries.. I find that as a lack of respect on your part.
Next time you create a post like this maybe you should ask first instead of trying to portray. Your ego is showing..click to expand
are you my boss??
you sound awfully controlling.
telling me how to think, feel and act.
i tried honestly to explain to you and you are highly controlling on how i should feel about things.
if you don't like it then fine. You still don't seem to understand my own explanation.
i tried to see yours, and that's fine with me. you are different and so am i.
Paedophile alert!
Posted by Koniuchaa—
Pretty sure OP is trolling.
why is this subject so highly charged for some?
i'm not afraid of talking about it.
Posted by lisabethur8Do you have any knowledge of what women experience at these shelters?
that's why they have women's shelters out there too to help women. Hoping they get away from abusive men ect.
Women do have options out there. They just have to get away and find the courage to leave abusive,toxic relationships.
Not only do you stay awake worrying that your abuser can find you...you also have to worry about all the other women's abusers finding you.
Not to mention, theft, drug abuse, and the overwhelming atmosphere of hopelessness.
It's an option yes...it's not ideal.
Posted by LadyNeptunePosted by lisabethur8Do you have any knowledge of what women experience at these shelters?
that's why they have women's shelters out there too to help women. Hoping they get away from abusive men ect.
Women do have options out there. They just have to get away and find the courage to leave abusive,toxic relationships.
Not only do you stay awake worrying that your abuser can find you...you also have to worry about all the other women's abusers finding you.
Not to mention, theft, drug abuse, and the overwhelming atmosphere of hopelessness.
It's an option yes...it's not ideal.click to expand
yes i do. quite a bit of experience too, also talking to them.
Posted by TheLibraMudramy sister is like this, she helped raise her stepson.
I'm very blessed to have a guy who is not afraid to jump right in for me and who treats and includes my girl in everything like his own. Thankful for it everyday. He's very caring towards her and loves to help her learn. Calming presence for both her and I. It's never been something I expect from him either. He just.... Does...
Cheers to the men who are great with kids and don't mind doing this for their lady!
so in reverse she is the one taking care.
but in a man's case, it's not common from what i heard.
but maybe it is, after all. i just don't see it that often.
Posted by Amethysstoh please. this HAPPENED last night and it triggered. what i saw, so i thought, hey why not create a topic, because i did see that there's some problems with a lot of single mothers finding the "right one", and this may help them to see things too. That there are men who honestly don't mind loving a woman with children.Posted by lisabethur8Stop with the high and mighty baffled act.. you know very damn well what you created by bringing up this post.. the day your in our shoes than say something.Posted by Amethysstexcuse me—?Posted by lisabethur8Posted by AmethysstI was actually. from the single mother's POV from last night. Yes, I can see it. I understand where she's coming from and she is glowing with happiness.Posted by lisabethur8My problem with your post is you trying to speak from the single mothers POV, when you are not one yourself. I could tell you from my experience what it's personally like. It's not logical to write inaccurate statements just from what you saw.. on a day to day basis living that life is different for each and every single mother. You generalize and/or you know what's best or what you think she needs.. it doesn't work that way. There are women out there who choose to be single because it's less of a hassle for them and their children grow up to be fine. Sometimes having a stepfather doesn't make it better.Posted by Amethysstbeing financially set and independent isn't the point here...
I disagree with this whole fuckin thread.
As a single mother, I've noticed being in a relationship takes a lot more work than being single and worrying about my child. At times I can do without the extra because I'm set financially. My life is doing great and I don't need "saving". Being with someone is an added plus not a necessity.
it's having a man who loves the woman, and also because they love the woman, enjoying her company , the extension of her, is her children, so of he loves all of her extensions, all part of her.
edit - look at the libra man's post above.
it really helps your children to have a good stepfather too.
of course I understand it's not the same with every single mother, but it is a question to pose for men out there, if they would help/aid the single mother. Because when you get into a relationship with a woman with children, you ARE aiding/helping them.
i was also talking mostly about women who have no fathers for the children. Not women of divorce who have their ex's also help take care of the children part time. he is still the father figure.
there are a lot of single mothers who have no fathers, abandonment, men who leave after the child is born. or when the woman got pregnant.
You SEE it, but you don't LIVE it.
This is an extremely controversial topic for many women and I believed you overstepped those boundaries.. I find that as a lack of respect on your part.
Next time you create a post like this maybe you should ask first instead of trying to portray. Your ego is showing..
are you my boss??
you sound awfully controlling.
telling me how to think, feel and act.
i tried honestly to explain to you and you are highly controlling on how i should feel about things.
if you don't like it then fine. You still don't seem to understand my own explanation.
i tried to see yours, and that's fine with me. you are different and so am i.
click to expand
Some might view single moms or dads as having baggage. Others view them as enriching their lives with added blessings.
It's all about perspective.
It's all about perspective.
Everyone wants love.
What's more unconditional than the love of a child. Maybe a dog?
What's more unconditional than the love of a child. Maybe a dog?
@capri-sun
"To answer your original question, I meet guys frequently who have no problem with me having kids, whether they have their own or not.
It speaks to the quality of a man."
thanks for your honesty.
I was honest with mine earlier,
it's nice to see how other women react too about this subject.
"To answer your original question, I meet guys frequently who have no problem with me having kids, whether they have their own or not.
It speaks to the quality of a man."
thanks for your honesty.
I was honest with mine earlier,
it's nice to see how other women react too about this subject.
Posted by Sagsagsagssome men are psychologically good at manipulating and making you feel safe at first then they will destroy you inside out, that is toxic, because the man is already toxic to begin with .they never healed their soul.
@lisabethur8
Believe me we did SO many times. But you can't save someone who doesn't want to be saved, right? I want to take her to a hypnotherapy practice which she refuses so many times. She prefer going to a shrink to give her some chill pill not knowing the long term effect of it ?.
I remember at the age of 12, watching this movie. Having this sick twisted wish she could just do it ?
I think you are using one example as a broad generalization of single mothers and about men, without considering the many different scenarios of both. I am divorced, with 4 children from one man, the one I was married to for over a decade. I'm educated, have a career that provides for my children and have always made at least an equal income to their father. We share custody equally and live close to each other and work together to take care of our kids. I'm not looking for anyone to save me, nor do I need them too. I'm looking for an equal partner who enhances my life and I enhance his with love, support (emotional), passion, etc. like anyone else who is dating for a purpose.
I was closed off to the idea of dating men without kids initially because I never wanted anyone to assume I needed their help or was looking to be saved, and figured they would not understand my life style . However, that was not a fair assessment because quite contrary to what you are saying, I think (from having these conversations with men I've met or dated) they do not think of it as a sacrifice to date a single mother...maybe they love kids and never had the chance to have them either because they couldn't in their prior marriage/RS or they never met someone they wanted to marry and/or have children with.
Although I'm very upfront about my kids and talk about them with who I am dating, I've never introduced anyone to my kids, nor would I unless the RS was serious enough that it was headed toward marriage. At that point the man loves you for you and your children are a bonus, not a burden.
I was concerned initially about dating at all with four children assuming that would be an immediate disqualification for many men, yet I've never had that problem, probably because the characteristics of a mother and the growth that motherhood brings to a person (added compassion, strength, time management, responsibility, life experience) can make a woman more attractive to many men.
I was closed off to the idea of dating men without kids initially because I never wanted anyone to assume I needed their help or was looking to be saved, and figured they would not understand my life style . However, that was not a fair assessment because quite contrary to what you are saying, I think (from having these conversations with men I've met or dated) they do not think of it as a sacrifice to date a single mother...maybe they love kids and never had the chance to have them either because they couldn't in their prior marriage/RS or they never met someone they wanted to marry and/or have children with.
Although I'm very upfront about my kids and talk about them with who I am dating, I've never introduced anyone to my kids, nor would I unless the RS was serious enough that it was headed toward marriage. At that point the man loves you for you and your children are a bonus, not a burden.
I was concerned initially about dating at all with four children assuming that would be an immediate disqualification for many men, yet I've never had that problem, probably because the characteristics of a mother and the growth that motherhood brings to a person (added compassion, strength, time management, responsibility, life experience) can make a woman more attractive to many men.
Posted by AriesLoveit's not very common in some areas, and most common in different regions, such as whether they are in the bible belt or in certain neighborhoods.
I personally think single dads have it harder. A lot of woman do not want to be in situations where they have to be a stepmother because a mother plays the more nurturing part. Also men are less likely to try and get financial support from the biological mother do to pride or just not wanting her to be a part of the child's life. I know men like this.
Me personally, I have never dated or married a man who had a issue with my kid or kids at the time or even now. Most have kids as well. Most people in their late 20's or early 30's have kids. It's so common.
As far as the "saving" no I can't relate to that because my ex husbands take such good care of our kids financially and physically. They want for nothing. Not only do they support them financially through me but they also by extra things for birthday, Christmas, school and they have double things when they go stay at their house. Any guy I date it's soley for my company only but of course I want them to be decent men for when I choose to allow them around my kids. But they don't need fathers they already have them.
I have known some woman who want that "father figure" due to their kids father not being around or needing help if the father wasn't supporting them financially because BOTH parents should be taking care of a child they BOTH created. I don't care if the mother has a job or not it's dumb to struggle and deprive your child of things because you don't want the father around.
the poorer the neighborhood, the more common it is where younger women who are single have children.
I think there's a statistics to this though.
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