Would you ever date an exotic dancer?

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"So I can show off my gold chain, gold ring. Roll through the hood on them gold thangs"
@VenusAquarius
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Posted by Adreamuponwaking
Posted by VenusAquarius

Yes

A Gemini

We were both Prince fanatics, so you know.

how did that go?
click to expand


He was one of three Daryl's I was seeing. He lasted the longest. Met him in a club. He always wanted to dance with me. He asked me for my number.

We discussed/negotiated an f-buddy relationship as he was pressing up on me. Whenever I saw him out, I would tease him. Had to tell him I was in an open relationship so it was cool. Cause he was fucking too. He followed my rules... come whenever I am, whenever I call. We became friends discussing our sexual experiences and desires... intellectualized sexual foreplay. I made him tell me every detail of his sex life... I even met his mom. We lived out alot fantasies (Prince related). And, I used him as a sexual critic, a bar for me to become more skillful sexually. I got fuck pride, lol...Aries.

Had to say good-bye after I met my husband. He seemed sad. A few years later, while with my husband and son, I saw him in Krispy Kreme. He looked full of melancholy. I turned around again and he was gone.
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Adreamuponwaking
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Posted by VenusAquarius
Posted by Adreamuponwaking
Posted by VenusAquarius

Yes

A Gemini

We were both Prince fanatics, so you know.

how did that go?

He was one of three Daryl's I was seeing. He lasted the longest. Met him in a club. He always wanted to dance with me. He asked me for my number.

We discussed/negotiated an f-buddy relationship as he was pressing up on me. Whenever I saw him out, I would tease him. Had to tell him I was in an open relationship so it was cool. Cause he was fucking too. He followed my rules... come whenever I am, whenever I call. We became friends discussing our sexual experiences and desires... intellectualized sexual foreplay. I made him tell me every detail of his sex life... I even met his mom. We lived out alot fantasies (Prince related). And, I used him as a sexual critic, a bar for me to become more skillful sexually. I got fuck pride, lol...Aries.

Had to say good-bye after I met my husband. He seemed sad. A few years later, while with my husband and son, I saw him in Krispy Kreme. He looked full of melancholy. I turned around again and he was gone.
click to expand



did you not take him seriously ( as a future partner) because of what he did?
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"So I can show off my gold chain, gold ring. Roll through the hood on them gold thangs"
@VenusAquarius
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Posted by dilettante
Posted by VenusAquarius
Posted by Adreamuponwaking
Posted by VenusAquarius

Yes

A Gemini

We were both Prince fanatics, so you know.

how did that go?

He was one of three Daryl's I was seeing. He lasted the longest. Met him in a club. He always wanted to dance with me. He asked me for my number.

We discussed/negotiated an f-buddy relationship as he was pressing up on me. Whenever I saw him out, I would tease him. Had to tell him I was in an open relationship so it was cool. Cause he was fucking too. He followed my rules... come whenever I am, whenever I call. We became friends discussing our sexual experiences and desires... intellectualized sexual foreplay. I made him tell me every detail of his sex life... I even met his mom. We lived out alot fantasies (Prince related). And, I used him as a sexual critic, a bar for me to become more skillful sexually. I got fuck pride, lol...Aries.

Had to say good-bye after I met my husband. He seemed sad. A few years later, while with my husband and son, I saw him in Krispy Kreme. He looked full of melancholy. I turned around again and he was gone.

lmao prince related sexual fantasy... such a niche interest
click to expand



Lmao

Yeah, I mean...hard to find too.
Profile picture of VenusAquarius
"So I can show off my gold chain, gold ring. Roll through the hood on them gold thangs"
@VenusAquarius
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Posted by Adreamuponwaking
Posted by VenusAquarius
Posted by Adreamuponwaking
Posted by VenusAquarius

Yes

A Gemini

We were both Prince fanatics, so you know.

how did that go?

He was one of three Daryl's I was seeing. He lasted the longest. Met him in a club. He always wanted to dance with me. He asked me for my number.

We discussed/negotiated an f-buddy relationship as he was pressing up on me. Whenever I saw him out, I would tease him. Had to tell him I was in an open relationship so it was cool. Cause he was fucking too. He followed my rules... come whenever I am, whenever I call. We became friends discussing our sexual experiences and desires... intellectualized sexual foreplay. I made him tell me every detail of his sex life... I even met his mom. We lived out alot fantasies (Prince related). And, I used him as a sexual critic, a bar for me to become more skillful sexually. I got fuck pride, lol...Aries.

Had to say good-bye after I met my husband. He seemed sad. A few years later, while with my husband and son, I saw him in Krispy Kreme. He looked full of melancholy. I turned around again and he was gone.

did you not take him seriously ( as a future partner) because of what he did?
click to expand


I feel sad about that. The door wasn't completely closed, especially with his mom liking me so much. She wanted us to be more, lol. And, I would see hear and there. She was full of encouragement.

If he had presented it, maybe. But, I was in a three year open relationship that was serious. So, I couldn't fully entertain a relationship without prompting. I think he wanted it but was too much hot stuff to admit it to himself but, I liked that he was confused.

Edit: my bff at the time was a married stripper so no. His dancing wasn't an issue and was not discussed. I think he liked that.
Profile picture of VenusAquarius
"So I can show off my gold chain, gold ring. Roll through the hood on them gold thangs"
@VenusAquarius
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Posted by dilettante
Posted by VenusAquarius
Posted by dilettante
Posted by VenusAquarius
Posted by Adreamuponwaking
Posted by VenusAquarius

Yes

A Gemini

We were both Prince fanatics, so you know.

how did that go?

He was one of three Daryl's I was seeing. He lasted the longest. Met him in a club. He always wanted to dance with me. He asked me for my number.

We discussed/negotiated an f-buddy relationship as he was pressing up on me. Whenever I saw him out, I would tease him. Had to tell him I was in an open relationship so it was cool. Cause he was fucking too. He followed my rules... come whenever I am, whenever I call. We became friends discussing our sexual experiences and desires... intellectualized sexual foreplay. I made him tell me every detail of his sex life... I even met his mom. We lived out alot fantasies (Prince related). And, I used him as a sexual critic, a bar for me to become more skillful sexually. I got fuck pride, lol...Aries.

Had to say good-bye after I met my husband. He seemed sad. A few years later, while with my husband and son, I saw him in Krispy Kreme. He looked full of melancholy. I turned around again and he was gone.

lmao prince related sexual fantasy... such a niche interest

Lmao

Yeah, I mean...hard to find too.

did he look like prince?
click to expand


He was pretty, the same complexion, but beefy with long dreadlocks and strong...could do some power moves I don't think Prince could muster, LOL!
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Adreamuponwaking
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Posted by VenusAquarius
Posted by Adreamuponwaking
Posted by VenusAquarius
Posted by Adreamuponwaking
Posted by VenusAquarius

Yes

A Gemini

We were both Prince fanatics, so you know.

how did that go?

He was one of three Daryl's I was seeing. He lasted the longest. Met him in a club. He always wanted to dance with me. He asked me for my number.

We discussed/negotiated an f-buddy relationship as he was pressing up on me. Whenever I saw him out, I would tease him. Had to tell him I was in an open relationship so it was cool. Cause he was fucking too. He followed my rules... come whenever I am, whenever I call. We became friends discussing our sexual experiences and desires... intellectualized sexual foreplay. I made him tell me every detail of his sex life... I even met his mom. We lived out alot fantasies (Prince related). And, I used him as a sexual critic, a bar for me to become more skillful sexually. I got fuck pride, lol...Aries.

Had to say good-bye after I met my husband. He seemed sad. A few years later, while with my husband and son, I saw him in Krispy Kreme. He looked full of melancholy. I turned around again and he was gone.

did you not take him seriously ( as a future partner) because of what he did?

I feel sad about that. The door wasn't completely closed, especially with his mom liking me so much. She wanted us to be more, lol. And, I would see hear and there. She was full of encouragement.

If he had presented it, maybe. But, I was in a three year open relationship that was serious. So, I couldn't fully entertain a relationship without prompting. I think he wanted it but was too much hot stuff to admit it to himself but, I liked that he was confused.

Edit: my bff at the time was a married stripper so no. His dancing wasn't an issue and was not discussed. I think he liked that.
click to expand



wow ...i'm kind of both of you in your story

i'm not the exotic dancer

but

i am confused and too much hot stuff to admit it to myself
Profile picture of VenusAquarius
"So I can show off my gold chain, gold ring. Roll through the hood on them gold thangs"
@VenusAquarius
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Posted by Adreamuponwaking
Posted by VenusAquarius
Posted by Adreamuponwaking
Posted by VenusAquarius
Posted by Adreamuponwaking
Posted by VenusAquarius

Yes

A Gemini

We were both Prince fanatics, so you know.

how did that go?

He was one of three Daryl's I was seeing. He lasted the longest. Met him in a club. He always wanted to dance with me. He asked me for my number.

We discussed/negotiated an f-buddy relationship as he was pressing up on me. Whenever I saw him out, I would tease him. Had to tell him I was in an open relationship so it was cool. Cause he was fucking too. He followed my rules... come whenever I am, whenever I call. We became friends discussing our sexual experiences and desires... intellectualized sexual foreplay. I made him tell me every detail of his sex life... I even met his mom. We lived out alot fantasies (Prince related). And, I used him as a sexual critic, a bar for me to become more skillful sexually. I got fuck pride, lol...Aries.

Had to say good-bye after I met my husband. He seemed sad. A few years later, while with my husband and son, I saw him in Krispy Kreme. He looked full of melancholy. I turned around again and he was gone.

did you not take him seriously ( as a future partner) because of what he did?

I feel sad about that. The door wasn't completely closed, especially with his mom liking me so much. She wanted us to be more, lol. And, I would see hear and there. She was full of encouragement.

If he had presented it, maybe. But, I was in a three year open relationship that was serious. So, I couldn't fully entertain a relationship without prompting. I think he wanted it but was too much hot stuff to admit it to himself but, I liked that he was confused.

Edit: my bff at the time was a married stripper so no. His dancing wasn't an issue and was not discussed. I think he liked that.

wow ...i'm kind of both of you in your story

i'm not the exotic dancer

but

i am confused and too much hot stuff to admit it to myself
click to expand



Well, if you think so, I'll tell you this....My husband seems to be hotter than the Gem because of how I see women respond to him and he mmediately moved to marriage and committment. So, it's not really about that. Someone's always hotter. Gem saw my husband.

And, I never make moves in relationships. I follow. So, unless Gem said something, it was never gonna happen.

I would reflect on the Gem and wonder... cause he was close to when I met my husband.
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Ram416
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Posted by Adreamuponwaking
Posted by Ram416
Posted by Adreamuponwaking
Posted by Ram416

I have before lol.

how was that experience?

She was crazy.

I cut loose before things got worse.

Disclaimer: not all strippers are crazy psychopaths. Just the one I dated.

was the sex really good?
click to expand


She taught me a few things. Very flexible. But the sex was mostly average.

Edit : Misspelling. Shit
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"So I can show off my gold chain, gold ring. Roll through the hood on them gold thangs"
@VenusAquarius
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Posted by Ram416
Posted by Adreamuponwaking
Posted by Ram416
Posted by Adreamuponwaking
Posted by Ram416

I have before lol.

how was that experience?

She was crazy.

I cut loose before things got worse.

Disclaimer: not all strippers are crazy psychopaths. Just the one I dated.

was the sex really good?

She thought me a few things. Very flexible. But the sex was mostly average.
click to expand


Good point. My hubby is my best.... grrrr, lol. My body responds to him on auto'-pilot and to my surprise. I'm like wtf?
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Adreamuponwaking
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Posted by tiziani
Posted by Adreamuponwaking
Posted by tiziani

I could say a few drawbacks but it’d be too generalised. The job itself is a job.

please share anyway

All right.

She learned gaslighting on the job. It keeps the clients keen and keeps their entitlement at bay.

But it’s hard to know when to leave the job at work and not let that habit spill into relationship issues.

Also the work comes with a ton of men and bisexual/lesbian women looking to step out on their marriage now that they are discovering themselves. That could wear thin at times when a dancer carries a jaded view of people back home with them. “Men want women to lie to them” etc.

And she said she danced to feel free, but sometimes really didn’t act like it in her personal life.

click to expand



these are my exact fears
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Ram416
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Posted by tiziani
Posted by Adreamuponwaking
Posted by tiziani

I could say a few drawbacks but it’d be too generalised. The job itself is a job.

please share anyway

All right.

She learned gaslighting on the job. It keeps the clients keen and keeps their entitlement at bay.

But it’s hard to know when to leave the job at work and not let that habit spill into relationship issues.

Also the work comes with a ton of men and bisexual/lesbian women looking to step out on their marriage now that they are discovering themselves. That could wear thin at times when a dancer carries a jaded view of people back home with them. “Men want women to lie to them” etc.

And she said she danced to feel free, but sometimes really didn’t act like it in her personal life.

I’ve said before on here that sex workers come off very morally righteous in personal relationships. With time though, that calmed down.
click to expand



All that, plus drugs.

She tried to make me obsessed with her. Given that this was my first semi-relationship with a woman, she took that as a green light to manipulate me.

If not for my Taurus bestie (who hated her), I think I'd still be pining for her. She was an Aquarius.
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Adreamuponwaking
@Adreamuponwaking
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Posted by tiziani
Posted by Adreamuponwaking
Posted by tiziani
Posted by Adreamuponwaking
Posted by tiziani

I could say a few drawbacks but it’d be too generalised. The job itself is a job.

please share anyway

All right.

She learned gaslighting on the job. It keeps the clients keen and keeps their entitlement at bay.

But it’s hard to know when to leave the job at work and not let that habit spill into relationship issues.

Also the work comes with a ton of men and bisexual/lesbian women looking to step out on their marriage now that they are discovering themselves. That could wear thin at times when a dancer carries a jaded view of people back home with them. “Men want women to lie to them” etc.

And she said she danced to feel free, but sometimes really didn’t act like it in her personal life.

these are my exact fears

I’d like to believe it boils down to the person/relationship in the end.

One things for sure, I learnt a hell of a lot about maintaining my own personal boundaries. I built up a lot of resilience.

10/10 would go again.
click to expand



I don't know if I can handle it.

aren't you a Taurus?
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Adreamuponwaking
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Posted by Ram416
Posted by tiziani
Posted by Adreamuponwaking
Posted by tiziani

I could say a few drawbacks but it’d be too generalised. The job itself is a job.

please share anyway

All right. She learned gaslighting on the job. It keeps the clients keen and keeps their entitlement at bay.

But it’s hard to know when to leave the job at work and not let that habit spill into relationship issues.

Also the work comes with a ton of men and bisexual/lesbian women looking to step out on their marriage now that they are discovering themselves. That could wear thin at times when a dancer carries a jaded view of people back home with them. “Men want women to lie to them” etc.And she said she danced to feel free, but sometimes really didn’t act like it in her personal life.

I’ve said before on here that sex workers come off very morally righteous in personal relationships. With time though, that calmed down.

All that, plus drugs.

She tried to make me obsessed with her. Given that this was my first semi-relationship with a woman, she took that as a green light to manipulate me.

If not for my Taurus bestie (who hated her), I think I'd still be pining for her. She was an Aquarius.
click to expand



This ?:

"Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which a person or a group covertly sows seeds of doubt in a targeted individual, making them question their own memory, perception, or judgment, often evoking in them cognitive dissonance and other changes such as low self-esteem. Using denial, misdirection, contradiction, and misinformation, gaslighting involves attempts to destabilize the victim and delegitimize the victim's beliefs.



Gaslighting depends on "first convincing the victim that his thinking is distorted and secondly persuading him that the victimizer's ideas are the correct and true ones". Gaslighting induces cognitive dissonance in the victim, "often quite emotionally charged cognitive dissonance", and makes the victim question their own thinking, perception and reality testing, and thereby tends to evoke in them low self-esteem and disturbing ideas and affects, and may facilitate the development of confusion, anxiety, depression and in some cases even psychosis. After the victim loses confidence in their mental capacities and develops a sense of learned helplessness, they become more susceptible to the victimizer's control."
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Adreamuponwaking
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Posted by Ram416
Posted by tiziani
Posted by Adreamuponwaking
Posted by tiziani

I could say a few drawbacks but it’d be too generalised. The job itself is a job.

please share anyway

All right. She learned gaslighting on the job. It keeps the clients keen and keeps their entitlement at bay.

But it’s hard to know when to leave the job at work and not let that habit spill into relationship issues.

Also the work comes with a ton of men and bisexual/lesbian women looking to step out on their marriage now that they are discovering themselves. That could wear thin at times when a dancer carries a jaded view of people back home with them. “Men want women to lie to them” etc.And she said she danced to feel free, but sometimes really didn’t act like it in her personal life.

I’ve said before on here that sex workers come off very morally righteous in personal relationships. With time though, that calmed down.

All that, plus drugs.

She tried to make me obsessed with her. Given that this was my first semi-relationship with a woman, she took that as a green light to manipulate me.

If not for my Taurus bestie (who hated her), I think I'd still be pining for her. She was an Aquarius.
click to expand



do you think your story would be a good idea to develop for a mini-series?
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Ram416
@Ram416
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Posted by Adreamuponwaking
Posted by Ram416
Posted by tiziani
Posted by Adreamuponwaking
Posted by tiziani

I could say a few drawbacks but it’d be too generalised. The job itself is a job.

please share anyway

All right. She learned gaslighting on the job. It keeps the clients keen and keeps their entitlement at bay.

But it’s hard to know when to leave the job at work and not let that habit spill into relationship issues.

Also the work comes with a ton of men and bisexual/lesbian women looking to step out on their marriage now that they are discovering themselves. That could wear thin at times when a dancer carries a jaded view of people back home with them. “Men want women to lie to them” etc.And she said she danced to feel free, but sometimes really didn’t act like it in her personal life.

I’ve said before on here that sex workers come off very morally righteous in personal relationships. With time though, that calmed down.

All that, plus drugs.

She tried to make me obsessed with her. Given that this was my first semi-relationship with a woman, she took that as a green light to manipulate me.

If not for my Taurus bestie (who hated her), I think I'd still be pining for her. She was an Aquarius.

do you think your story would be a good idea to develop for a mini-series?
click to expand


Nah. We only dated for like 2 months, and it wasn't even a full on relationship.

It took me 7 years to fully appreciate that I walked away when I could lol

Once again I have to say, not all strippers are like that. Just the crazy ones.
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Adreamuponwaking
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Posted by tiziani

Also I feel bad that maybe I discouraged you

Some of the positives should be said:

She has a well-pronounced creative streak when it comes to clothes and make up art. She could use thrift items, take them apart and remake them herself into something that truly complements her whole look and even complements the room she walks into. Her creative skills were transferable to pretty much any line of creative work, if you’re worried about social mobility.

Only thing she was neglectful on was her burn rate and hourly rate. Wasn’t too good at money management which i believe every creative has to get a grip on, to stay sane.



She is also super resilient. If you ever feel like giving up easily on your own goals, just sit in on a dancer’s session at work. They have to know how to politely turn back conversation on everyone, know how not to react to the dozens of clients who turn bitter and say something out of hand when the client feels rejected, and know how to keep going on and move/talk in a way that says “I still came here to have a good time”.

I believe she is super brave, with or without the job. In many ways she is my personal hero.

And have you ever dated a woman who can run full stride in heels? It is impressive, at least to me.


she did a number on you man.
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Adreamuponwaking
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Posted by tiziani
Posted by Adreamuponwaking
Posted by tiziani

Also I feel bad that maybe I discouraged you

Some of the positives should be said:

She has a well-pronounced creative streak when it comes to clothes and make up art. She could use thrift items, take them apart and remake them herself into something that truly complements her whole look and even complements the room she walks into. Her creative skills were transferable to pretty much any line of creative work, if you’re worried about social mobility.

Only thing she was neglectful on was her burn rate and hourly rate. Wasn’t too good at money management which i believe every creative has to get a grip on, to stay sane.



She is also super resilient. If you ever feel like giving up easily on your own goals, just sit in on a dancer’s session at work. They have to know how to politely turn back conversation on everyone, know how not to react to the dozens of clients who turn bitter and say something out of hand when the client feels rejected, and know how to keep going on and move/talk in a way that says “I still came here to have a good time”.

I believe she is super brave, with or without the job. In many ways she is my personal hero.

And have you ever dated a woman who can run full stride in heels? It is impressive, at least to me.

she did a number on you man.

LOL that’s true!
click to expand



was the sex just that good?
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Posted by akitu

Haha I slept with a stripper once so probably 😂 it depends on the person your job doesn’t really define you I know girls that are intelligent and switched on and completely in control of their lives that also dance or have danced. It takes a lot of work to be good at it. I mean obv some are shit at it but that’s same in any job 🤷‍♀️


Male or female?
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Posted by akitu

Haha I slept with a stripper once so probably 😂 it depends on the person your job doesn’t really define you I know girls that are intelligent and switched on and completely in control of their lives that also dance or have danced. It takes a lot of work to be good at it. I mean obv some are shit at it but that’s same in any job 🤷‍♀️


this girl is quite intelligent.

probably one of the smartest women I've fancied but is also the most manipulative and shallow.
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Posted by LaPetiteEtoile

Haven’t gone back since a blonde Russian type took my boob out of my bra and sucked on it in front of my friends.

🤷🏻‍♀️

Omg this reminds me of a story my eyelash artist was telling me about going to ladies night at this trashy strip club outside of town.

She was asking me if it’s normal for male dancers to “take their dicks out and start throwing them around”. I was laughing so hard 🤣

And then she told me a few women in the audience started performing sexual acts on a few of the dancers. I was shook. I’ve never heard of anything like that happening on the main floor before! And most of all I was worried for the women who were knob slobbin without a rubber because I know male dancers are walking STD/STI’s 😱
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Posted by Whorpio
Posted by LaPetiteEtoile

Haven’t gone back since a blonde Russian type took my boob out of my bra and sucked on it in front of my friends.

🤷🏻‍♀️

Omg this reminds me of a story my eyelash artist was telling me about going to ladies night at this trashy strip club outside of town.

She was asking me if it’s normal for male dancers to “take their dicks out and start throwing them around”. I was laughing so hard 🤣

And then she told me a few women in the audience started performing sexual acts on a few of the dancers. I was shook. I’ve never heard of anything like that happening on the main floor before! And most of all I was worried for the women who were knob slobbin without a rubber because I know male dancers are walking STD/STI’s 😱
click to expand



Totally gross

😲

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Adreamuponwaking
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Posted by akitu
Posted by Adreamuponwaking
Posted by akitu

Haha I slept with a stripper once so probably 😂 it depends on the person your job doesn’t really define you I know girls that are intelligent and switched on and completely in control of their lives that also dance or have danced. It takes a lot of work to be good at it. I mean obv some are shit at it but that’s same in any job 🤷‍♀️

this girl is quite intelligent.

probably one of the smartest women I've fancied but is also the most manipulative and shallow.

Ooh well then that’s the issue lol
click to expand



it is lol

the exotic dancing is just the icing on the cake
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Posted by akitu
Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by akitu

Haha I slept with a stripper once so probably 😂 it depends on the person your job doesn’t really define you I know girls that are intelligent and switched on and completely in control of their lives that also dance or have danced. It takes a lot of work to be good at it. I mean obv some are shit at it but that’s same in any job 🤷‍♀️

Male or female?

? A guy lol! He was a bit of an idiot so not a great example but I just want to leave the door open for the possibility that there could be better examples somewhere lol 😂 obviously it’s not the ideal job but you never know people’s situations. He was working on his business on the side for example and did these amateur body building competition things... 🤷‍♀️ I wouldn’t date him ever but like I just don’t want to say ‘never’ about anything... except if he’s a Tory. Then it’s definitely a ‘never’ 😂
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what is a tory?
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MyStarsShine
@MyStarsShine
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Posted by akitu
Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by akitu

Haha I slept with a stripper once so probably 😂 it depends on the person your job doesn’t really define you I know girls that are intelligent and switched on and completely in control of their lives that also dance or have danced. It takes a lot of work to be good at it. I mean obv some are shit at it but that’s same in any job 🤷‍♀️

Male or female?

? A guy lol! He was a bit of an idiot so not a great example but I just want to leave the door open for the possibility that there could be better examples somewhere lol 😂 obviously it’s not the ideal job but you never know people’s situations. He was working on his business on the side for example and did these amateur body building competition things... 🤷‍♀️ I wouldn’t date him ever but like I just don’t want to say ‘never’ about anything... except if he’s a Tory. Then it’s definitely a ‘never’ 😂
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I wasn’t sure whether you swung both ways 😀. The Tory comment made me 😂.