Blarg. Help me evolve.

I've realized that I have difficulty expressing myself. Especially when it comes to the opposite sex. I want to work on this issue. According to what I have read, Virgos are supposed to be good communicators, but for me...no. I am the type to over analyze and second guess myself to the point that I end up bottling everything (trying to figure butter out) until I can't take it anymore and I lose my ability to compromise. Then it gets ugly. I want to work on it. I want to figure out how to deal with issues while expressing opinion and emotion in healthy and time appropriate manner. Anybody know how to do this?

Do you have a natal chart?
Let's give it a look see.

You're a defeatist. You made a whole thread to honor how you'd rather throw your hands up in defeat to crawl into bed to ignore your life.


Work on that ... and other pieces will fall into place.


However, I doubt you will .... I'm certain that you'll give up like you always do .. then go pout like you did in the other thread.

Zodiac in degrees 0.00 Placidus Orb:0
Sun Virgo 23.25 Asc Leo 25.05
Moon Aries 23.42 II Virgo 19.05
Mercury Libra 18.38 III Libra 17.41
Venus Scorpio 4.01 IV Scorpio 20.23
Mars Leo 9.01 V Sagittarius 24.18
Jupiter Libra 14.48 VI Capricorn 26.16
Saturn Libra 10.26 VII Aquarius 25.05
Uranus Scorpio 26.50 VIII Pisces 19.05
Neptune Sag 22.09 IX Aries 17.41
Pluto Libra 23.05 Midh Taurus 20.23
Lilith Scorpio 29.03 XI Gemini 24.18
Asc nodeLeo 0.14 XII Cancer 26.16

This is my natal chart from cafeastrology.com. I'm pretty new to astrology and don't really know what any of it means.

With that much fire influence among your personal placements and a Scorpio Venus I'm inclined to say that any difficulty you feel you might have with self-expression is probably the result of a psychological blockage.

Why do you feel like you need to evolve to begin with? Is it for yourself? Or to please someone else?

Why is it that you second guess yourself this way?

What do you think is the real reason behind so much self-consciousness?

That you feel like you overanalyze situations in itself is an indication that you're overanalyzing yourself. The only thing you really need to learn or work on is how to get in touch with yourself and the real reasoning behind this behavior. When you can achieve self-awareness and confidence that just being yourself is not a problem or wrong doing then you can let go and live more freely.

I have a hard time saying no and verbalizing what it is that I want. Psychological block is probably right. I'm not really sure that I know how to work on that but I will find out. It may be because I am not really sure what I want so I internalize and analyze everything trying to figure that out. By the time I have it figured out (if I ever do) the relationship/situation has resolved itself without the benefit of my input or has gone a way that I am not happy with. I want to work on this because I feel like I am just standing still and achieving nothing towards my own happiness. I appreciate you input TMV. Thanks

I feel for yu Virgos. I am dating on and am finally starting to understand just how hard it is for you guys to express yourselves.

My words to you all.

There are people out there whom are stardust, just like you. They just want to love you. We all hurt sometimes, and things rarely go the way we plan but let them in a bit at a time. We just want to love you. Happy New Years darlings!

I'm the opposite but I understand. I don't know how to express my feelings when I REALLY like someone. It tends to come across as cocky or over enthused which reads as insincere to some. I'm working on it though. I think the only thing we over thinkers can do is to inwardly process and outwardly project but conveying the correct emotion that we are comfortable taking accountability for.

Posted by jjessa
Zodiac in degrees 0.00 Placidus Orb:0
Sun Virgo 23.25 Asc Leo 25.05
Moon Aries 23.42 II Virgo 19.05
Mercury Libra 18.38 III Libra 17.41
Venus Scorpio 4.01 IV Scorpio 20.23
Mars Leo 9.01 V Sagittarius 24.18
Jupiter Libra 14.48 VI Capricorn 26.16
Saturn Libra 10.26 VII Aquarius 25.05
Uranus Scorpio 26.50 VIII Pisces 19.05
Neptune Sag 22.09 IX Aries 17.41
Pluto Libra 23.05 Midh Taurus 20.23
Lilith Scorpio 29.03 XI Gemini 24.18
Asc nodeLeo 0.14 XII Cancer 26.16

This is my natal chart from cafeastrology.com. I'm pretty new to astrology and don't really know what any of it means.

Cool, I don't fully understand all the stuff in it but the fundamentals I would say are enough.

Each planet represents an aspect of your characteristics.
Sun for core behaviour, Moon for feelings, Mars for attitude towards others, Venus for who you are attracted to and how you love, Mercury for how you think. Can't recall the rest.

Your moon in Aries means you should be direct with your feelings and be clear in how you feel.

Mercury in Libra... hmm like me... I find my thoughts chaotic at times but generally I am well spoken and able to mimic accents and articulate well.

Venus in Scorpio means you are quite passionate and should generally attract or be attracted to fixed signs.

Mars in Leo means you go about people somewhat sure of yourself.

All the doubts you expressed are typical Virgo insecurities and self doubt.

If you want add me on skype and we can talk about it.
My name is the same there.

LOL Im so not like that, Im the complete opposite, whats wrong with so many of your fellow virgos? 😛

I've noticed this about some of the virgos I know. I think being earth signs just makes you all very practical and grounded and emotions aren't always practical and are never grounded. As a Cancer I'm very used to swimming in emotion so this comes easy to me. I'm trying to think of a way to bridge the space and help you see it from a perspective you'll understand.

Let's see, it's about giving up some control, because emotions come and go at the drop of a hat. How we DEAL with emotion is where the control comes in. Don't fear them, don't try to control them. Maybe take a moment when you feel something VERY strongly and go off alone and let go completely. If you need to laugh, cry, scream, whatever, just let it OUT. Then, when you've drained it a bit, sit back and analyze what you experienced. Did it help? Did you gain understanding? Do you have more clarity on what, why, etc on how you feel? This could be an exercise in learning about it all in a less controlling way that would still give you some form of control.

Definitely take note of what @MoonArtist said, even though I'm sure exercises like that seem foreign and unproductive to you, they are not. These problems always stem from fear, as a virgo I assume your fear is based in the control aspect

What you need to understand is that above all else we are created to FEEL. Not to gain, strive for or to become anything. Those can all be positive things that add to our experience but they are things we do, not what we are. We literally, physically ARE, the things we feel. And in actuality the feelings we feel are the only things we can actually control in this life. As a virgo you really need to learn how to just be, to just exist in the current now moments. Since the now is the only thing that exists. When you are depressed its because you are not living in the present moment, you are in the past too deeply, youre not being real, youre not existing, the past is gone and really no different than make believe because all youre doing is imagining it. When you are anxious you are living in the future, which again is not real, you are still imagining things more than you are in the now, more than you are living. Thinking about those two things too deeply is not what you are created to do and your soul is trying to tell you when you need to stop. Both focusing on the past and the future to the point of discomfort is a sin. Worry is one of the biggest most harmful sins humans can commit.

When you release the obsessive "need" to CONTROL everything and just let things be, your emotions will become less and less foreign to you, you will be more and more comfortable letting them flow out of you without care as to other's interpretations. and you will see that by relinquishing your attempts to "control" thats when you have the most influence on things, trying to control and force is guaranteed to backfire in some equal or worse portion.
When you worry you are not only showing a lack of faith by your obsession with control, youre also saying you dont believe God's promises to you. You believe more in whatever petty circumstance you are caught up in at the moment and that line of thinking is actually inviting more struggle and hardships because God will allow you the "control" you think you want by removing his continuous abundance and prosperity that he offers to you when you are content and worryless. you dont have to believe in God to believe anything I just said, its just the way things work.

To get to higher perfection you have to become more emotionally fluent,
dont pay so much attention to how perfectly you express yourself (youve had a lifetime of that) but that you DO express yourself period. After a while of forcing yourself to just express and let it be whatever it is in the moment, you become more natural and you'll know how to do what you want to do now but dont have the finesse for yet.

It may not seem to you that your issue is about control/faith but the fact that you rather bottle in self expression so you can tweak and perfect it means you are overly concerned with how you appear. Its basically wanting to control how others experience you but you cannot ever control another person's experience and interpretations. So youve decided on settling for overlycontrolling yourself in order to try and steer others toward certain perceptions and interpretations of YOU. Ego. Virgobullshit. its all just fear. worry. imaginary. nonsense. its why poeple thing virgo's are "fake". Just let it go.


—Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, —What shall we eat— or —What shall we drink— or —What shall we wear— 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

My purpose in mentioning God is just to show the complete picture who made things work this way. But you can still benefit from a recipe without knowing who made the cookbook.

Wow. I know that was for jjessa but I needed to read that myself. I overanalyze everything and I do the same thing of not expressing myself when I am around someone I am interested in. I worry way to much what he will think of the things I say.

Thank you HungVirgo for posting that 🙂

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/09/17/joaquin-phoenix-rap-hoax-im-still-here-helped-career-acting-the-master_n_1889721.html<BR>
"Joaquin Phoenix was ready to abandon acting for a hip-hop career and capture the journey in the documentary "I'm Still Here." Eventually, the Casey Affleck-directed film was revealed to be a mockumentary, but Phoenix said the rap hoax helped liberate his entire career.

"Part of why I was frustrated with acting was because I took it so seriously," Phoenix told TIME magazine when discussing what he took away from the rap hoax experience.

"I want it to be so good that I get in my own way. It's like love: when you fall in love, you??re not yourself anymore. You lose control of being natural and showing the beautiful parts of yourself, and all somebody recognizes is this total desperation. And that's very unattractive. Once I became a total buffoon, it was so liberating."
Although Phoenix "quit" acting in 2008..the actor is back with "The Master," and many are arguing that it's the performance of his career.


basically even if you express yourself and look stupid, nobody else cares about that as much as you and for perfectionists its a a liberating freeing thing and adds much needed perspective

Posted by VirgoFlirt

Posted by justagirl
Wow. I know that was for jjessa but I needed to read that myself. I overanalyze everything and I do the same thing of not expressing myself when I am around someone I am interested in. I worry way to much what he will think of the things I say.

I always knew from the start if I could not express my self around a certain female I liked, there was no need in even trying to have a any kind a date or a relationship at all. Think about that. If you start analyzing the relationship a lot then it is not for you either. If I have to use vector math to figure her out then I need to move along.

click to expand

I can see that and I agree. I just struggle to clearly articulate my thoughts (see I am even doubting I expressed myself correctly in my first post) until I trust someone. But it's something I am aware of and am consciously working on.

Hell who am I kidding, I get overwhelmed by him so I get scattered, again conscious of this and drives me bat shit crazy that someone can effect me like this. Not sure if that is even the same thing as not being able to express myself. Pretty sure he is very aware of what effect he has on me. I know it all comes back to the control thing...

Posted by jjessa
I've realized that I have difficulty expressing myself. Especially when it comes to the opposite sex. I want to work on this issue. According to what I have read, Virgos are supposed to be good communicators, but for me...no. I am the type to over analyze and second guess myself to the point that I end up bottling everything (trying to figure butter out) until I can't take it anymore and I lose my ability to compromise. Then it gets ugly. I want to work on it. I want to figure out how to deal with issues while expressing opinion and emotion in healthy and time appropriate manner. Anybody know how to do this?

Supposedly Virgos are good communicators but that isn't usually the case. I think they actually get a bad rep because they're often misunderstood because of bad communication and jumbled thoughts. My boyfriend is kinda like what you describe yourself as. He and I work on it together though, I also agree it's more of a mental blockage. I'm sure you have the capability to be a great communicator but maybe don't get so lost in your mind...relax. Honestly, I noticed the ultimate remedy for over analyzing for virgos is distraction, the healthy kind of course. Keep your mind busy and involved in task that you enjoy or fall in love lol. But with all love comes heartbreak and I know virgos go into super cray mode when this happens.

Reading threads like this just boggles my mind and it should you too, Virgos ... but, you all are so consumed within it, that it seems normal to you, so you don't notice how fucked up it is.

If you look around you, you'll notice other signs asking about other people ...

Virgos ask other people to help them understand themselves ... and that's really bizarre.


I full realize that that ^^^^^^ went over your heads. But, the other 11 signs understand what I'm saying.

Thank you HungVirgo and MoonArtist. Your posts were very helpful and enlightening. I appreciate you taking time from your day to help me work on my problem. Your post is very insightful and made think quite a bit about why I have these communication issues. I will work on express my emotions when I have them instead of attempting to control other's opinion of me. After some time hopefully this will become second nature to me.

Posted by jjessa

After some time hopefully this will become second nature to me.

Second nature to you after some time —


wtf?


And here I thought you'd already lived a couple decades ... the talk is about expressing how you feel and it's been decades and you are STILL waiting for second nature to kick in?


Like ... seriously?

P-Angel, your posts and criticisms are neither helpful nor insightful. Instead of just ignoring you like I would normally do when faced with someone or something that I don't want to deal with I have decided to address my feelings towards your posts. After all that is precisely what I am trying to work on. It should be clear from my original post that expressing my emotions does not come easy to me so it will take time for me to get used it by actively taking steps to change my natural reactions. You may not understand that because you do not have the communication issues I have, regardless of my age. No big deal. People are different. It WILL take work on my part. Now, there it is. I won't respond to you any further.

Posted by jjessa
P-Angel, your posts and criticisms are neither helpful nor insightful. Instead of just ignoring you like I would normally do when faced with someone or something that I don't want to deal with I have decided to address my feelings towards your posts. After all that is precisely what I am trying to work on. It should be clear from my original post that expressing my emotions does not come easy to me so it will take time for me to get used it by actively taking steps to change my natural reactions. You may not understand that because you do not have the communication issues I have, regardless of my age. No big deal. People are different. It WILL take work on my part. Now, there it is. I won't respond to you any further.

Some of us can see our short comings and want to work on them... That's evolving right there! Much more emotionally mature to admit our short coming VS. delusions of grander like P-Angel and just a loud mouth bitch like CC!

Posted by jjessa

P-Angel, your posts and criticisms are neither helpful nor insightful.

My posts aren't for you ... there are for other people to see how fucked up you are.

*they are

Dude, it's like here you are an adult ... and you are asking other people to figure you out for you.

Seriously ... it's pathetic.

In one of your other threads ... you made that entire thread just to honor and memorialize that you were giving up and going to let life defeat you. And now you want people to hold your hand for you and figure your life out for you.


Ignore me all you want .... but, I will continue to point out how ridiculous you are in asking these questions. So, really your little threat in saying you won't talk to me doesn't do anything except get your dick hard.

Hilarious. The clueless one of all people is in here laughing at people for lacking awareness. The irony is so sweet my teeth just fell out.