Cancer girl confused and hurt by Virgo man

I met a Virgo man 3 months ago, we both had instant attraction, got along very well and could talk for hours. However we both knew would not date each other because he has a strict check list in what he's looking for in a woman (Ivy league graduate, great family background, younger than him, certain professions tc). I'm none of his checklist and older than him (by 5 years and he couldn't accept such age difference). Instead, we became FWB, the arrangement is that we would stop being FWB the moment we met someone else and decided to sleep with the other person. During the time being FWB, we both were dating others but never slept with our dates. It worked for about a month until on evening I had a great date with someone else ( (I did not sleep with this person but we were quite initimate), the Virgo guy was asking me about my date (he does that often) became very upset and decided to stop the FWB arrangement and explained that he wanted to keep me for a long time and would rather be friends because friendship lasts longer, and also said he "mixed things up" and became controlling of me and my life which he had no right to since he's not my boyfriend.

We have been friends since then and would chat every day. His best friend moved to our city and he asked me to meet his best friend. During the outing, his best friend told me the Virgo guy has been obsessive to me because I was able to stimulate him mentally. The Virgo would try to learn my language (I'm originaly from another country), learning my country??s history and culture etc. One day we were chatting as usual and I asked if he has slept with his date who invited him to her place, cooked him dinner and gave him a massage etc, he denied he slept with her (he stayed over at her apartment) but out of nowhere, he said —I can tell you are in love with me and I'm in love with you too??, I pretend I didn't hear him say that and tried to change the subject, but he continued this claim 6, 7 times, and was like —Listen to what I just said — you are in love with me and I you), I was then joking —So you love me—, he said —Yes I do??. I was caught off guard and very confused, also scared of losing him as a friend or as anything defined because deep inside I find it hard to believe he would even consider dating me. .

The same day we met up with other friends, he turned to me in person and said it in front of his best friend that he was in love with me; again I was shocked and went quiet about it. And I mentioned to him I had a date with a guy later in the evening when he asked if I was going home after the drinks with our friends.

However, the next day I talked to him about it and I asked if he would like to spend sometime together over the weekend, he mentioned he was planning to see the girl on a third date (the same girl cooked him dinner, massaged him etc) and he retrieved everything he said, and went on that when he said he was in love with me, he meant it in a non romantic way and we're friends, nothing more. His tone was cold and very distant. I got very emotional and upset because I knew I loved him too but was too scared to be hurt knowing I would never meet his checklist. I told him he was being very disrespectful to tell me he loved me while seeing someone else. So I told him I would never wanna talk to him again.
3 days later, I wrote him a message and told him that I loved him and missed him and I have been scared of getting hurt, how he took back what he said was devastating and how he played with my head. He didn't response, and I messaged him again and asked if he still wanted to talk to me, he replied —I'm going through a rough time and I will when I get through this?? (he's not happy with his career choice at the moment). I haven't heard from him since which has been a week, we used to talk daily.
I need your opinion, please tell me if he would talk to me again (I at least want him as my friend) and if he actually really was in love with me, or he really didn't mean what he said.

I'm a cancer and he's virgo

For me
Sun was in Cancer at 15?? 55'.
Ephemeris Moon in Gemini at 07?? 52'.
Ephemeris Mercury was in Leo at 12?? 06'.
Ephemeris Venus in Gemini at 18?? 15'.
Ephemeris mars Mars was in Leo at 05?? 54'.
Ephemeris r Jupiter in Capricorn at 01?? 48'.
Ephemeris Saturn was in Gemini at 14?? 42'.
Ephemeris Uranus in Libra at 14?? 19'.
Ephemeris Neptun was in Sagittarius at 02?? 50'.
Ephemeris Pluto in Virgo at 29?? 32'.

For Him:
Ephemeris Sun was in Virgo at 11?? 52'.
Ephemeris Moon in Leo at 11?? 57'.
Ephemeris Mercury was in Libra at 00?? 22'.
Ephemeris Venus in Leo at 25?? 28'.
Ephemeris Mars was in Leo at 14?? 17'.
Ephemeris Jupiter in Sagittarius at 03?? 09'.
Ephemeris Saturn was in Sco

So dude verbalizes he loves you..and not only you stay there in silence which is a calculated reaction and not a shock..since you cared for him too. You even go the extra mile to tell him you have a date line up.

Ofc he brushed you off the next day.

And then you send him a message. You know ..sending a message is the easiest thing in the world. I can type I love you 1000 times in text. Message seems genuine to me up until the point where you accuse him of playing with your head.

I'm willing to bet the time he's taking now is to see whether he should cut you off completely or just continue/start the fwb again. As a girlfriend...very slim odds. Maybe a very detached friendship...more like acquaintances.

I doubt he'll give you a second chance because the accusation of him playing with your head would've tipped him off to your game. I know I'd see right through it.

RE: Damnata:
I told him i was having a date with another guy because 1. he asked what i was doing after the drinks with friends ; 2. he told me he was dating this girl who gave him a massage with oil on their second date

I said he was playing with my head because he told me he was in love with me repeatedly and announced in front of our friends only to have told me the very next day that I got it all wrong, he was saying it in a sense that he was a big fan of me and he found me endearing but not in a romantic sense, we're nothing but friends and he was planning to go on the third date with the same girl and he knows they would sleep together on this date. that was extremely hurtful, rollercoster and 360 degree change in one day and really messed up my head. I told him all of these with no intention of plaing mind games but geniuenly and honestly felt so hurt by it. I have always been geniune and honest with him, hence I told him everything I said is true and always will be true and will never taken aback like he did

Re BlackMamba:
the part you mentioned about his indecisiveness is so true, he chagned his career fields 3 times (Finance to Marine to Medical), all 3 different careers he exceled but he was never happy in any of them, he is seeing a shrink right now.

what I dont understand is, the next day he told me he was in love with me, I asked him to meet and spend time together as I haven't spent alone time with him for a while and I wanna find out and talk to him one on one about it, but he avoided my suggestion of getting together and instead, telling me he planned to meet the girl who he went on 2 dates already and looks like the third date will one they will sleep together. he also told me he stayed over at the girl's apartment on their second date but empahised he didn't sleep with her because he wanted to wait, wait for what? and why telling me this ? btw he also told me about the girl he was dating from the same country where i came from and telling how similar she was with me...and i was joking that he was looking for a younger "me"

Dignity matters a lot to us.

If we verbalized feelings and the other person is standing there with a daft look on his/her face....yeah, you're no match then and we will regress. Did it twice and the only thing you could think of was bringing up the date after he said it? just lol.

This guy has 3 leo placements, he has more pride than the average Virgo.

Hell will freeze over before a person loaded with Leo placements will give you the time of day again. You are in for a rollecoaster that will only hurt you in the end and not him.

But I don't know him so for your sake, I hope BlackMamba is right.

actually he brought up about his second date with the girl who cooked him diinner, massaged him and he stayed over, then i brought up having a date with another guy (and plus he asked what i was doing, not I volunteered brought that up)

Now is it wise to take advice from two bitter ppl on a subject that they have no positive experience in? Hmm pondering..
None the less majority of cancer women have the communicative skills of a taco and the density of a concrete slab.. its a lose lose

I actually really think Black Mamba hit a few points that are very very spot on what the Virgo guy is about. e.g. Black Mamba pointed out he's going through internal turmoil which is true. the Virgo guy went to an ivy league and got a job offered in investment banking after graduate, did extremely well but he felt he wanted a profession that he could have his own business so he switched to medical, did very well again and became chief surgeon at a very young age, now he is moving to private practice. He had second thought on his choice of profession, he regrets quitting investment banking because he felt he could have made much more money, so in the past 3 weeks, he had been desperately seeking a girl friend, because he said he wanted to have someone go along the ride for his transition from residency to private practice. All the girls he dated, he would try to convince they were right for him, only then about 3 or 4 dates, he knew they weren't. He also had been sending me messages before our fallout that how he screwed up his life, he's a damaged good and he's lost, and if he should have plan B for his career etc. also his indecisiveness, he would never confirm any plans, always answers " if i don't have anything else to do, i will go along"

Posted by Ktayl117
I think Virgo's will defiantly stick around when they form an emotional attachment but if you keep doing things like bragging about going on other dates. He'll bounce. BlackMamba is sort of right as well, you really have to kind of put your foot down and be prepared to get a little mind fucked, but I think once Virgo's realize they care they are in it for good. Unless you continue to blow them off, especially with the leo placements, I agree. Loyalty is everything to them.

^^^THIS and ^^^THIS... +1....Never any harm intended....typically just what comes naturally. Good stuff Ktay!

If only people knew how to communicate better these days with one another, no matter what sign we are, we are all human,...these boards would be no more, the people in the world wouldn't be confused about each others thoughts/feelings/or most of all intentions! Wars could even be prevented.Cause let's be honest at the end of the day we're all thinking the same thing what is the others intentions?! Are they good or bad. We have a question, just ask be straightforward,honest, and lets hope the other will answer truthfully. But we all know these days with all the mind games and dishonesty we may not get that from anyone,Just be straightforward yourself, and ask the other for what you need, let them know what your intentions are, pray for the best regardless of what happens In the outcome And if it doesn't go your way Just know that you kept everything Real! which shows you're a good person and your character..
And Damnata, weeds two thumbs up.

I get this is 6 days old...but damn he's a male version of me...at least with his chart.

Curious.....Is his rising sign also in Scorpio?

@LostinmyMind11 - you gotta tell me what he's thinking then, its been 20 days since we last talked and we haven't communicated to each other.

the site cut off his full sign details, here it is:

The ephemeris coordinates for September 5 1983 are:
Sidereal time: Sidereal time: 22:54:09 UTC
Ephemeris Sun was in Virgo at 11° 52'.
Ephemeris Moon in Leo at 11° 57'.
Ephemeris Mercury was in Libra at 00° 22'.
Ephemeris Venus in Leo at 25° 28'.
Ephemeris Mars was in Leo at 14° 17'.
Ephemeris Jupiter in Sagittarius at 03° 09'.
Ephemeris Saturn was in Scorpio at 00° 59'.
Ephemeris Uranus in Sagittarius at 05° 16'.
Ephemeris Neptun was in Sagittarius at 26° 28'.
Ephemeris Pluto in Libra at 27° 40'.