controlling ex

This topic was created in the Virgo forum by lib89 on Wednesday, September 22, 2021 and has 9 replies.

Profile picture of lib89
@lib89
11 Years

Met this guy and he moved on really fast. He was a player type who goes on a new date every day.. but he kind of wanted to start a relationships me very fast - after a month he asked me to be his gf, after two months to move in together. He talked about marriage very fast and wanted a child. First two months where our honeymoon and then it got worse. I don't blame him (except for being on Tinder and acting like he is single, telling lies about his life to look better in other people eyes), I admit there were a lot of my fault too and he knows that. Arguments all the time, he being aggressive and so on. After a while we realized we want to be together in our hearts but we just cant be in a real life. Its not healthy. He moved out. But he said he still wants to be in touch with me (and we have to, cause we share business together ). Its been only a month but he calls me every day and he is very controlling - asks me where I am, what Im doing, why Im not at home. he wants to find out if Im seeing some one, makes some comments about it all the time. I'm not allowed to ask him theses questions, but he can... One day he admitted (for the first time he was honest with me and who knows why!) that he spend all day with a woman... I asked him - how it went? He told me than not so good.. she asked him over at the end of evening but he went home... He comes over almost every day.. always find some excuses.. i make him lunch hahah

he calls me everyday.. and theses conversations where strictly professional at the beginning but now they becoming more domestic - how too clean, how to cook and so on.

Whenever he sees that I'm happy and not crying in the corner of the room, he gives me this weird look and askes - why are you so happy? Are you seeing someone? Who gave you flowers?

So what the hell he wants from me? cause we met few days ago and I was feeling very bad health wise and asked him can he stay over the night.. I don't want to be alone and he said he doesn't want me to get used to him..(?).. he likes the way it is right now - not more and not less.. so why the hell he doesn't leave me alone? Why all theses questions? He says he is just curious.. if I'm seeing someone. So its like he doesn't want to be with me, but he doesn't want me to move on with my life.

P.s. we are not sleeping together. We didn't even have sex in last few month when we lived together.

Profile picture of lib89
@lib89
11 Years

Im 32 and he is 31.

I have been married to Virgo man before. Been in relationships for 11 years. After divorce Virgo man moved on very fast and got a gf. No contact since then. But this guy is so different. It was his decision to break up.

Profile picture of saggurl88
@saggurl88
13 Years25,000+ Posts

They say anyone who moves this fast is a red flag and can be narcissistic. This is typical of a controlling person, they move fast so you can't figure out what is happening, until it's too late.

You moved in with him after 2 months. You didn't even know the guy or his temperament.

So now he has moved out, is seeing other women, gaslighting you, and expecting lunch most days cause you are "hahaha"ing him and accepting the behavior.

He is a narcissist who needs 1 girl, everyday of the week, for this.

He doesn't need sex from you when he is getting it elsewhere. He just needs lunch.

Cut him off and quit fixing his lunch!

Profile picture of saggurl88
@saggurl88
13 Years25,000+ Posts

Posted by Bumboklaat

Posted by saggurl88

They say anyone who moves this fast is a red flag and can be narcissistic. This is typical of a controlling person, they move fast so you can't figure out what is happening, until it's too late.

You moved in with him after 2 months. You didn't even know the guy or his temperament.

So now he has moved out, is seeing other women, gaslighting you, and expecting lunch most days cause you are "hahaha"ing him and accepting the behavior.

He is a narcissist who needs 1 girl, everyday of the week, for this.

He doesn't need sex from you when he is getting it elsewhere. He just needs lunch.

Cut him off and quit fixing his lunch!

Seriously the hahaha part got me. Im starting to think hes the victim

click to expand

LMAO I read it too and was like

Image Not Found

Profile picture of lib89
@lib89
11 Years

The hahahha part was me thinking how stupid and ridiculous this situation is.

We broke up but he is helping me out a lot too. And he never did it before! Suddenly bought me a gift and brought me food when I was ill.

Every time he wants give me a hug ( a long one) when he is leaving.

Profile picture of Timone
@Timone
5 Years1,000+ Posts

You should stop trying to analyze his behavior and start setting some boundaries. Who cares why he does this or that. You're the one allowing it to happen.

Profile picture of Dastard2020
@Dastard2020
6 Years1,000+ Posts

He doesn't even deem you worthy of being his cum dumpster anymore. You've been demoted strictly to the 'woman: kitchen/go-make-me-a-sammich' role.

Based on what you're allowing this is what you're telling the world that you're worth:

User Submitted Image

Profile picture of GemMay
@GemMay
4 Years

Posted by DMV

Posted by Dastard2020

He doesn't even deem you worthy of being his cum dumpster anymore. You've been demoted strictly to the 'woman: kitchen/go-make-me-a-sammich' role.

Based on what you're allowing this is what you're telling the world that you're worth:

User Submitted Image

Are you okay?

click to expand

Why? Shit doesn't seem healthy?