Falling for VirGuy...too good to be true??

Hi! This is my first post! It will be long :/

I am looking for opinions and advice, obviously. I am VERY into this Virgo I've been dating for a month. I almost feel like I need constant validation to confirm that he is, in fact, as into me and I think and hope he is.

This is my chart: (new to the whole chart thing as well...)
Sun: Libra
Moon: Libra
Merc: Libra
Venus: Libra
Mars: Sag
Jupiter: Scorp
Saturn: Libra
Uranus: Sag
Neptune: Sag
Pluto: Libra
Ascend: Scorp

He is a Virgo/Leo cusp (Aug. 24th, 1979). He seems to posess many Virgo traits. We've been dating exclusively for a month (He let it be known to me on more than one occasion a week into dating that he's not into "serial dating"/sleeping/dating around and when he dates someone he dates only them. This takes one GIANT thing off my plate to worry about, thank God.


He started off VERY strong- which is really nice, but honestly even made me a little uncomfortable AT FIRST. I guess just because it is something I am not used to. He asked me out on a second date even before the check for our lunch came on the first date 🙂 we talked on the phone (and still do) just about every single night, usually at least for 45 minutes, sometimes more than 2 hrs. After like 3 dates (all in the first week BTW) he was even saying thing like "I get butterflies when I even think about you...you are definitely girlfriend material...my friends are gonna like you...you are going to be the first girl in about 4 yrs that I will introduce to my friends (he's dated a lot but nothing serious in I think about 4 yrs)...I actually really do miss you...stuff like that. Plus, he invited me to go to a friend's wedding with him on our second date. So, CLEARLY, Virgos (and I guess guys in general) don't do/say stuff like this at ALL unless they are really into you and see you in their future...correct—


I should probably mention that we actually have been emailing and we talked a little on the phone before we met- we've been communicating since about the beginning of June...we met on July 17th. He's been super stressed about job/financial stuff/school and he was actually dating another girl when we started talking (he winked at me on Match.com 😛) so we initially weren't going to meet up right away until he had things sorted out (which still aren't 100% sorted out yet).


So he hasn't really said anything mushy or sweet the way he did that first week we met...only about 4 weeks ago.

continued...sorry!

Is there a chance he overwhelmed HIMSELF by having all these feelings and telling me about them? And is his financial/job situation playing a role in the "pulling back", if that is in fact what he's doing?? Is he analysing his thoughts and feelings? Is there a chance he changed his mind about the way he feels about me? I can't see that as the case since he asks me to call him every night after I get out of work and we see each other at least once or twice a week.


From what I understand about Virgos, they usually aren't so expressive about their feelings the way he has been. I have nothing to worry about, RIGHT—? I am kinda insecure :/ and I'm afraid I'll do something to screw it up. It's been so long since I've found a really nice guy with so many qualities I am looking for, who actually seems like he is looking for a relationship. I am an anxious person and it is SO HARD for me to control my thoughts and feelings, but I am definitely doing a great job, I must say, of not letting him know about these feelings of insecurity I have!! 🙂


The attraction/compatibility is VERY strong- mentally and sexually. We haven't slept together yet, although we've had "sleepovers" and done other stuff...

Should I be "playing it cool" (but not hard to get...) I don't want to scare him off or overwhelm him with my feelings...

I guess I have no reason to believe he doesn't like me- I just don't know why he came on so strong at first but doesn't say much about that stuff anymore... :/

Is this normal Virgo behavior—??

THANK YOU FOR READING THIS EVERYONE!! 🙂 🙂

Make sure that this is not infatuations between you, because it will pass and probably leaves you both numb.

Its only been a month and you're stressing? oh boy LOL. You met this guy from the internet (nothing wrong with that) so you dont know him very well at all....ok you talk on the phone, email, etc but you dont really know him and you say he hasnt sorted things 100% with the last girl.....dont get yourself caught up in some love triangle....oh and people from online and most men on these sites will say everything you want to hear - they know the game very well.

from what I can tell its unusual for a Virgo to fall so hard so fast - be careful. Playing "hard to get"? Personally Id back off a bit and watch for a while..is he still on that site? are you?

Hi Chatz-
I think I wasn't clear in my description. He's done with that girl- they only dated for a month and he broke things off with her even before we met- he wasn't interested in her anymore. The not 100% sorted out thing I was trying to say was that he's unemployed right now- going to start a training program for the type of job he wants to do in about a month- so his finances and job are not 100% sorted out, but he knows what's going to happen- he has a plan. Sorry for the confusion. Call me naive, but I trust that he's not dating anyone else- I believed what he told me about not being into that because it's confusing and whatnot and the fact that I don't know when he would have TIME to date anyone else, seeing that we talk on the phone every night and see each other most of the weekends... 🙂

and yes, I am already stressing, lol. This is how I am most of the time- kinda high strung (try not to be so much around guys I like though haha) I think part of the reason is that I really need to work on my self-confidence and self esteem. :/ It sounds so cliche, but getting hurt over and over really does have an impact on me and I almost feel like I'm "waiting for the other shoe to drop", which is totally going to mess with my relationships if I don't get it under control.

I'm not checking my match.com account at this point- I'm happy with him so far. And he told me his subscription ended pretty much right before we decided to meet. I'm not sure if he checks his account at all.

I have a good feeling about this guy in general- he's so different and genuine compared to so many other guys I've dated...I guess it's just my stupid insecurities that are making me question anything and ask for validation. And the fact that I thought it was a little out of Virgo character for him to be so....open and in touch with his feelings about me. I guess maybe it could have to do with his Leo cusp??

And the last time I spent this much time with anyone I was dating in the beginning stages of a relationship was waaaay back in high school- my first boyfriend ever!!

Qbone-

hi! I guess it's hard to tell at the beginning whether it is infatuation or actual beginnings of...dare I say it....love...(yikes) or maybe I should just say I am starting to be "in like" with him. I guess there is no way to find that out the easy way...I will just have to ride it out for now and see what happens.

Thanks for your input, guys! 🙂 I really appreciate any and ever

oops- any and every opinion about the matter!! It cut me off!! 😢

hmmmm "I don't know when he would have TIME to date anyone else, seeing that we talk on the phone every night and see each other most of the weekends" Oh dont believe that so wholeheartedly....I hate to burst your bubble but Ive actually dated a guy who talked/chatted with me almost every single night for months, we saw eachother all the time yet he was seeing 2 other women. He kept his account/s open online, chatting with multiple women the same time he was chatting/talking to me.

That aside though, just give it time, a month is NOTHING in the dating game, nothing at all. When you've been dating him for 6 months and more thats when you should ask more questions. Right now though, you should be having fun, and dont forget your other friends and the things you enjoy doing without him. Virgos are notorious for doing the disappearing act so I hope you have a lot going on in your life for when that does happen.

OMG I sound so negative but I love being in love and all that but I just think you're way too stressed out and worrying about things way too early on....like Qbone said, make sure you're not just infatuated.

Wow this reminds me of me and Virgo guy lol. Except we've been dating for a month before we made it official which was just a few days ago. We've been spending everyday together since we met with a day or two gap in between lol. I honeslty don't think you have anything to worry about. However, don't show off you're insecurities, from my experience virgo's are not into those who are insecure. They are into those who are sure of themselves. But believe me Virgo's are great at reassuring you especially if they like you. I believe that everything will be great between you two, just take it a day at a time and enjoy him, while showing him how much you appreciate him as an indivual. Virgo's love attention, so make sure you give him lots :-). Wish you the best. And keep us posted.

And also yes I understand that you have been hurt many times, and I myself have too. However, you should just go with the flow of things and give this guy a chance. You don't want to miss out on a wonderful opportunity because of your past hurts. Just give yourself a chance here and see where it takes you.

Hi iluvmecancer! thanks- it's weird- some days I am confident about it, some days I'm not. Today earlier he was so happy to talk to me- he went out last night to a friend's small gathering, didn't invite me, probably because I'm too new...but today he told me all about how he wished he'd asked me to go with him and he wished I'd called him last night... 🙂 so sweet. we talked for a while, then he asked me to call him when I got out of work tonight. I did, and we talked for a few minutes...he seemed really tired.

I know guys can lie about seeing other people- but he VOLUNTEERED the information from the get-go that he wasn't dating or planning to date anyone else while we dated. I just feel like so far, I believe what he says and he's just such a genuine person, I feel like if he didn't want this, he would NOT have said anything at all about dating other people...you know?

He gets in these moods sometimes...like today earlier he was fine, then tonight on the phone- he was a little depressed and anxious about starting his internship for his training program (the end of Sept.) and he's gotten worried about it before while talking to me- he's worried about not having any money to go out and not being able to see me or talk to me on the phone very much...I keep trying to reassure him that everything will work out, and that it may not be as bad as it seems right now...without being overbearing. I guess it's all I can do- support him and be there for him. Tonight he told me how sweet I was when I was talking to him about it. 🙂

I definitely don't show my insecurities to him- I'm pretty sure NOBODY likes an insecure person- not just Virgos. That is why I am glad I can vent on here and to some of my close friends 🙂

As sad and pathetic as it sounds...I feel like I just have to accept the fact that it is possible for me to be happy and to be with someone who feels the same way about me as I do about them. It's a new feeling- it's been a while!! I am just a basket case about it half the time!!

Libratastic, I agree with No1delete2 he is going to be more worried about his current situation with him not being able to do things he want because of his finances. And also he may possible have a lot of mood changes because of this as well. One thing that I have learned is that you have to have a lot of patience with Virgo's, and show that you're there for him through the good and bad, show that you're genuine and believe me at the end of the day he will definitely appreciate it in the long run. I think that you should take things a day at a time and don't have any expectations just go with the flow of things. And just understand that this guy may not always be in a good mood because of his current situation. All you can do at this point is just play it by ear. And do what you can to keep your insecurities in check =)

No1- Thanks for your input- it's nice to hear a man's opinion on the topic! And one with experience with a Libra at that!! Yes- the natural chemistry is definitely there...there is no doubt about that. As far as him getting his way- I guess I haven't come to any examples of that yet...maybe too early. But I like to think that I'm someone who will always stand up for myself. Pretty much everything so far has been equal in that we both think of things to do- both call each other, both ask when the other is free, stuff like that, which as you probably know in my opinion is pretty great. So at least at this point I'm not worried about the doing things his way thing.

I do realize his preocupation with his finances/career goals is going to be here for a while. At this point, I am willing to see what happens and try to stick it out if he is. It seems worth it to me because he is such an awesome person. It will be tough, and I know I will have to try and occupy myself more, which shouldn't be a problem- I will just have to try and train my BRAIN to occupy itself with other things 😉

are Libras usually prone to worrying about stuff like this? Or am I special, haha? I know I am an anxious person in general..

and it doesn't mean anything that VirgoBoy isn't verbalizing his feelings toward me as much as he was at the way beginning, right? I mean, his actions pretty much back up what he said/says still.

Thanks for your insights, everyone...I appreciate it! 🙂 it's a good thing I've taught myself to be MUCH more patient in the past few years of dating...

his 30th Birthday is next monday- So now I have to try not to stress out about a gift- I'm pretty sure I'm just gonna give him a card and take him out to dinner. I've tried and tried to think of something creative...but no dice.

VG can help you there - we tend to be the solid rocks you can cling to when everything goes to shit.


hahaha ... yeah, thats the truth .....

UPDATE- in case any of you were wondering...

so tonight Virguy broke things off with me. He said he just couldn't handle things right now- he had a terrible day with tons of bad news and he just feels that with no job, money, or real set-in-stone path right now that he can't give his all to me and that I deserve it. He even got emotional on the phone. I totally understand everything that he said and I know he was sincere about it, but I'm just so sad 😢 😢

he's such a great guy, and I really hope things work out for him. He said he's gonna call me in a couple weeks to see how I am...and he wants to keep in touch. I told him I will be there for him as a friend if he needs to talk. He said whether or not I decide to contact him, he's gonna contact me. He told me he really likes me a lot, and I believe him. I know he is someone that needs to get all his ducks in a row before he can start a relationship with someone, and I respect that. I'm glad he had the respect for me to tell me now rather than string me along for another month or two, or maybe longer.

We talked on the phone for like 2 hrs after he told me he shouldn't be dating anymore and we had a good conversation. He told me that he DEFINITELY won't be dating anyone until he has things figured out...and that maybe when he has his crap together that we could date again....

I'm so sad and disappointed, but somehow feel a tiny bit of hope that things will work out for him in time...before I (and of course he) move on...

I miss him already and it's going to be so weird not to talk to him every day like we have been for the past 6 weeks...

I just wish I hadn't gotten my hopes up again...and I wish he hadn't told me all those things about having butterflies when he thinks of me and that he eventually wants me to be his girlfriend...he threw that all at me in the beginning, sincerely, I'm almost positive about, and then when I got my hopes up, he took it away 😢

I'm so bummed out....it really sucks. sorry for all the sad-faces 🙂 😢

P.S. thanks for listening/reading

LibraTastic

Ever heard of the dreaded —Saturn effects— At 28th of August it moving from Virgo to the Libra sign after 2,5 years.

My advice to you, be prepared for the worst.

Falling for VirGuy...too good to be true??



Apparantly



Perhaps, the moral to the story is .... check your expectations

Hi Libratastic,

I am so sorry that it turned that way but hope that you can be together with this guy like he said once he set his ducks in a row.

Ive posted a similar story yesterday on the board under title "he loves me but...". Pls check if you are around.

My Virgo is 34 and he is going through the same stuff with yours. No money, no stable job, a lousy life and no set plans for the future. He also was too fast in the beginning, and right after he declared his love, he made a u-turn and said he can't date anyone, even me right now. I insisted on trying and he asked me 1 month to sort things out.

I have my hopes a bit higher than yours, because first, we have a longer history than yours, we've known each other since high school and it helps us to confide in each other and stay more trustful. Second, he is working, he only needs to earn more and save money. Othan than that he's fine, no bad credit history, no money owed to anyone. Plus he comes from a decent family that I am positive could support him because he's their only child. He just does not want to ask anything from them right now. He's been like this only for the past 2 years. He says before that he was fine. So, this is temporry and I believe in him that he'll make his way out of these problems in a couple of months.

What bothers him now I think is the timing. I practically fell in to his world from nowhere all of a sudden and things evolved pretty quick. So he needs to analyze. I am sure since he's in his mid 30s now, he knows in his heart he can not keep living a bachelor life for long. he needs stability. he was longing for this but then, he had a very had first attempt on that and got burned . So he is scared to rush things now with me only after a month. I fell like I was a big red alert for him saying "hey wake up, life is short and you're already late, so stop complanining and get to work!"

He only sent one single text today saying that he's back in town and we will talk later. I thanked him for letting me know and said take care. I feel like I also should go much slower, because I sure was infatuated by his behaviour: loving messages, songs and poems. So I am taking my time off today and getting busy with my own stuff.