help my virguy get over his ex (Page 2)

Posted by gia

Firstly,thank you all for your amazing input!! You all have been super supportive and awesome and I wholeheartedly appreciate it.

Secondly, I agree it has been a lot to put up with him talking about her. I did my ugly bit too by mentioning her a few times. Also,I 100% agree that he'd have been 1000000000000000000times more hurt than me had I spoken as much about any of my exes(been in 2 relationships...just never had sex). Weirdly my bf(currently on hold) thinks all my male besties have feelings for me and hit on me.Once I casually spoke about one of my male best friends(my bf hates him) and he thought I was comparing him to him and he got so mad that he still brings that up when we fight. When I told him that hows's it okay if he talks about his ex but not okay if I talk about my bestie,he said "She is my past.I have 0 ties with her and I have nothing to do with her anymore. He is presently with you and he hits on you".He did hit on me 6 times so I understand where is he coming from but still,whatever.

I am definitely not going to let this take any more wrong turns where he thinks he can threaten a breakup if i dont meet all his demands, or purposely torture me again by talking about his ex. He even said this today "I never thought you'd be so weak. If i ever end up taking her name again by any chance and just once,you'd get all depressed and start crying assuming I want her back.". So,I have decided that when we meet this tuesday,I'd have a long serious talk with him and tell him that talking about her is not acceptable by me and he has to stop if he wants us to build something fruitful. He has to make a choice. I want his response in a yes or a no. If he says no,I wont look back I'll leave. If he says yes, then all good. I am purposely holding this talk for Tuesday as I dont want to do in texting as it would ruin things even more.

A mess

Posted by gia

I am 99% positive he'd agree to it. He knew i won't give in my virginity so soon yet he has been with me for 6 months. We've been on overnight outtings and stayed in 6 hotels so far and he has never forced me to have sex. Neither am I too great looking. I am a simple nerdy woman who doesnt maintain herself but with some curves he loves. We have had plenty fights in these 6 months as virgo and pisces are total opposites but we never left each other. Ours has been a sweet sour relationship like a blue raspberry lemonade. So I know he does love me. He said he doesnt love me anymore given our last spat and my change in behavior but I know he internally does else he wouldnt have accepted my request of giving us a last chance. He'd have straightaway blocked me and disappeared instead. He said that he doesnt want to put any pressure on me to change something about me but just wants me to understand him a little and I think that's 100% fair as long as he takes care of his part. We've been talking normal now like we were 2 days ago.

I pray the Tuesday talk goes as positively as I'm hoping. *fingerscrossed*

Despite him telling you straight up he doesn’t love you verbatim you know what’s inside his heart and head and it’s diff than what he told you? And none of the things you mentioned mean love. He’s lonely or hurting and using you as a place holder hun.

Posted by gia

Posted by hippiecrite

“Help me gain a better self esteem, to walk away from idiots and assholes” would be a better title to this thread.

Probably many will hate me or turn against me after readin this but I'll still say it regardless..

You know, all relationships have problems - some major ,some trivial.

I wanted an opinion on how to handle my insecurity,how to understand him better from a virgo's perspective and what to do to make things better.

There are two types of people:

1) who get a new car when their old car's painting wears off

2) who repaint the old car and make it good again.

I believe in the 2nd one. Relationships are not something which is dispensable.

There will be problems - big,small,biggest but you dont just dump that relationship away unless neither are willing to try,then of course.

Had he not accepted to try one last time,then sure,I wouldnt have said anything more as there's no point.But he did agree and we are talking normal like how we always do. Isnt that suppose to be a positive thing?

click to expand

He’s had you too mind fucked right now but I hope you see the light one day. Good luck.

Posted by Sagicorn

Posted by gia

Posted by gia

Hello fellas!! Just got done with my day.

I am not disagreeing with anyone.

I have an update to share.

So we met today after all that which happened.

I was sitting alone in my class and he came and kissed my forehead the way he always does.

I didn't react to it at all. He behaved absolutely normal with me like nothing so major ever happened. I had a WTF expression throughout the day. My best friend(our mutual friend) was absent today so that gave us more privacy.

He realized how this has affected me as I wasn't talking to him at all as I was hurt deep down with his "i dont love you anymore". So he started the talk of his own. He apologized and said he was extremely mad at that moment so he lost his calm and behaved that way. He said he purposely overdid and overstretched it because he wanted to see how far i'd go for wanting him and us. When i gave him the "You've gotto be kidding me.Ill break your bones" look, he said that given his experience of being cheated on,he felt scared that he'd invest so much of him on me and I'd end up leaving him someday too. He said that he trusts me completely now.

I told him it was a horrible thing he did and he apologized and said he really needed to see. He said everything is like before for him and then he took me out for an icecream to cheer me up.

This is how it is as of yet. Hope it continues *touchwood*

And also,forgot to add, I had an open detailed discussion with him. I told him that the reason why i had become insecure was because of his constant criticism and comparison to other girls plus his talks about his ex. He said that he'll completely stop the comparison and ex talks if it disturbs me that much. He said the criticism is only so i look my best. He ended with how he always knew i'm a wife material and not a girlfriend material. I dont understand that statement much but I'll leave it at that.

Criticism is a Virgo thing that many people won't understand or put up with. They mean well but they give it out with complete disregard of people's feelings yet at the same time are extremely sensitive to critics themselves. Double standards? Yes and no. They simply don't see it that way. Be sure he will continue to criticise you for long time more. He might say he won't but he can't help it. Over time it gets less frequent and one gets more used to it lol was just remembering some times of those criticism long time ago from my bf and thinking wtf was that all about?! He's not doing it as nearly as much anymore but has his moments still but I learned to turn it into a joke so it's no longer an issue

click to expand

ya I read a lot about that @Sagicorn. One of my closest male friends of 10 years is a virgo so I can relate a lot of my bf's behavior to him. I'd say they both are eerily similar in behavior in terms of being super moody, having their own set of 'rules', behaving hyper aggressive if tiniest of things dont go their way (my bf fought with me for an hour y'day just because I purchased Tresemme conditioner for myself instead of Loreal just because Loreal is the best according to him), and playing childish manipulations when the other party doesn't oblige them at certain times. They both are fiercely loyal and devoted though and they care a lot about the people they love. He missed his important classes last week to drop me home when I wasn't keeping well.

He kept making me understand that his criticism are not exactly criticism but something he'd want me to work on so I look my best. He said "what is wrong if I want you to look the best of all? Doesnt mean I love you any less if you don't but there's nothing wrong in helping you look your best". I tried to be understanding and I told him that i understand him and he said he'd cut the frequency.

Posted by bkbella86

Posted by gia

Posted by hippiecrite

“Help me gain a better self esteem, to walk away from idiots and assholes” would be a better title to this thread.

Probably many will hate me or turn against me after readin this but I'll still say it regardless..

You know, all relationships have problems - some major ,some trivial.

I wanted an opinion on how to handle my insecurity,how to understand him better from a virgo's perspective and what to do to make things better.

There are two types of people:

1) who get a new car when their old car's painting wears off

2) who repaint the old car and make it good again.

I believe in the 2nd one. Relationships are not something which is dispensable.

There will be problems - big,small,biggest but you dont just dump that relationship away unless neither are willing to try,then of course.

Had he not accepted to try one last time,then sure,I wouldnt have said anything more as there's no point.But he did agree and we are talking normal like how we always do. Isnt that suppose to be a positive thing?

He’s had you too mind fucked right now but I hope you see the light one day. Good luck.

click to expand

Those are relatively old posts @bkbella86 >_

Posted by gia

Posted by bkbella86

Posted by gia

Posted by hippiecrite

“Help me gain a better self esteem, to walk away from idiots and assholes” would be a better title to this thread.

Probably many will hate me or turn against me after readin this but I'll still say it regardless..

You know, all relationships have problems - some major ,some trivial.

I wanted an opinion on how to handle my insecurity,how to understand him better from a virgo's perspective and what to do to make things better.

There are two types of people:

1) who get a new car when their old car's painting wears off

2) who repaint the old car and make it good again.

I believe in the 2nd one. Relationships are not something which is dispensable.

There will be problems - big,small,biggest but you dont just dump that relationship away unless neither are willing to try,then of course.

Had he not accepted to try one last time,then sure,I wouldnt have said anything more as there's no point.But he did agree and we are talking normal like how we always do. Isnt that suppose to be a positive thing?

He’s had you too mind fucked right now but I hope you see the light one day. Good luck.

Those are relatively old posts @bkbella86 >_

click to expand

Old as in 3 days? What changed besides you begging a man to be with you?

Posted by Sagicorn

Posted by gia

Posted by Sagicorn

Posted by gia

Posted by gia

Hello fellas!! Just got done with my day.

I am not disagreeing with anyone.

I have an update to share.

So we met today after all that which happened.

I was sitting alone in my class and he came and kissed my forehead the way he always does.

I didn't react to it at all. He behaved absolutely normal with me like nothing so major ever happened. I had a WTF expression throughout the day. My best friend(our mutual friend) was absent today so that gave us more privacy.

He realized how this has affected me as I wasn't talking to him at all as I was hurt deep down with his "i dont love you anymore". So he started the talk of his own. He apologized and said he was extremely mad at that moment so he lost his calm and behaved that way. He said he purposely overdid and overstretched it because he wanted to see how far i'd go for wanting him and us. When i gave him the "You've gotto be kidding me.Ill break your bones" look, he said that given his experience of being cheated on,he felt scared that he'd invest so much of him on me and I'd end up leaving him someday too. He said that he trusts me completely now.

I told him it was a horrible thing he did and he apologized and said he really needed to see. He said everything is like before for him and then he took me out for an icecream to cheer me up.

This is how it is as of yet. Hope it continues *touchwood*

And also,forgot to add, I had an open detailed discussion with him. I told him that the reason why i had become insecure was because of his constant criticism and comparison to other girls plus his talks about his ex. He said that he'll completely stop the comparison and ex talks if it disturbs me that much. He said the criticism is only so i look my best. He ended with how he always knew i'm a wife material and not a girlfriend material. I dont understand that statement much but I'll leave it at that.

Criticism is a Virgo thing that many people won't understand or put up with. They mean well but they give it out with complete disregard of people's feelings yet at the same time are extremely sensitive to critics themselves. Double standards? Yes and no. They simply don't see it that way. Be sure he will continue to criticise you for long time more. He might say he won't but he can't help it. Over time it gets less frequent and one gets more used to it lol was just remembering some times of those criticism long time ago from my bf and thinking wtf was that all about?! He's not doing it as nearly as much anymore but has his moments still but I learned to turn it into a joke so it's no longer an issue

ya I read a lot about that @Sagicorn. One of my closest male friends of 10 years is a virgo so I can relate a lot of my bf's behavior to him. I'd say they both are eerily similar in behavior in terms of being super moody, having their own set of 'rules', behaving hyper aggressive if tiniest of things dont go their way (my bf fought with me for an hour y'day just because I purchased Tresemme conditioner for myself instead of Loreal just because Loreal is the best according to him), and playing childish manipulations when the other party doesn't oblige them at certain times. They both are fiercely loyal and devoted though and they care a lot about the people they love. He missed his important classes last week to drop me home when I wasn't keeping well.

He kept making me understand that his criticism are not exactly criticism but something he'd want me to work on so I look my best. He said "what is wrong if I want you to look the best of all? Doesnt mean I love you any less if you don't but there's nothing wrong in helping you look your best". I tried to be understanding and I told him that i understand him and he said he'd cut the frequency.

Hahaha that wentence sounds so familiar! Yes, they live for "fixing" and helping people they care for! If they don't try to fix you it would be suspicious lol but they mean well just express wrong and can be really too much to take and handle sometimes. However they can also be most amazing lovers and devoted people on the planet! Just you know...getting through all that bs makes you wonder sometimes is it worth it? Can't give the answer on that one since everyone is individual and on their own. What I can say is to stand your ground and don't let yourself be mistreated by anyone, no matter how much they mean to you. And they appreciate you more if you don't let yourself to be pushover.

click to expand

Yeah I get you and I agree with that myself. The thing is - I have experienced this childish manipulative behaviour from my virgo male bestie. Whenever we fought, I'd soon see a "you didn't listen to me. We are not friends anymore.I am leaving our friendship." Initially I would try my best reasoning with him but then I learnt that this is how he is when he gets angry. Childishly manipulative and aggressive. I stopped reacting to his behaviour and he crawled back to me of his own feeling stupid about his immature act. This behaviour has reduced a lot since he has grown up now.

I internally had a strong feeling of the same reason with my bf because he has the same tendency when he gets mad. Infact,when I asked him "what if i had not done all that pleading and would have agreed to your breakup? So you really would have broken up". He replied "I'd have gotten even more mad at you thinking she never really cared about me and this relationship but then after seeing you today I'd have behaved normal like nothing ever happened and remained the same as I am now". I warned him that he better never pull this behaviour again and he laughed it off.

In times like these,they are little kids being a huge pain in the ass.

Posted by gia

Hello fellas!! Just got done with my day.

I am not disagreeing with anyone.

I have an update to share.

So we met today after all that which happened.

I was sitting alone in my class and he came and kissed my forehead the way he always does.

I didn't react to it at all. He behaved absolutely normal with me like nothing so major ever happened. I had a WTF expression throughout the day. My best friend(our mutual friend) was absent today so that gave us more privacy.

He realized how this has affected me as I wasn't talking to him at all as I was hurt deep down with his "i dont love you anymore". So he started the talk of his own. He apologized and said he was extremely mad at that moment so he lost his calm and behaved that way. He said he purposely overdid and overstretched it because he wanted to see how far i'd go for wanting him and us. When i gave him the "You've gotto be kidding me.Ill break your bones" look, he said that given his experience of being cheated on,he felt scared that he'd invest so much of him on me and I'd end up leaving him someday too. He said that he trusts me completely now.

I told him it was a horrible thing he did and he apologized and said he really needed to see. He said everything is like before for him and then he took me out for an icecream to cheer me up.

This is how it is as of yet. Hope it continues *touchwood*

Guurl... this is the kinda man that’ll push your ass down the stairs. Abort! Abort! Abort!

Posted by Sagicorn

Posted by gia

Posted by Sagicorn

Posted by gia

Posted by Sagicorn

Posted by gia

Posted by gia

Hello fellas!! Just got done with my day.

I am not disagreeing with anyone.

I have an update to share.

So we met today after all that which happened.

I was sitting alone in my class and he came and kissed my forehead the way he always does.

I didn't react to it at all. He behaved absolutely normal with me like nothing so major ever happened. I had a WTF expression throughout the day. My best friend(our mutual friend) was absent today so that gave us more privacy.

He realized how this has affected me as I wasn't talking to him at all as I was hurt deep down with his "i dont love you anymore". So he started the talk of his own. He apologized and said he was extremely mad at that moment so he lost his calm and behaved that way. He said he purposely overdid and overstretched it because he wanted to see how far i'd go for wanting him and us. When i gave him the "You've gotto be kidding me.Ill break your bones" look, he said that given his experience of being cheated on,he felt scared that he'd invest so much of him on me and I'd end up leaving him someday too. He said that he trusts me completely now.

I told him it was a horrible thing he did and he apologized and said he really needed to see. He said everything is like before for him and then he took me out for an icecream to cheer me up.

This is how it is as of yet. Hope it continues *touchwood*

And also,forgot to add, I had an open detailed discussion with him. I told him that the reason why i had become insecure was because of his constant criticism and comparison to other girls plus his talks about his ex. He said that he'll completely stop the comparison and ex talks if it disturbs me that much. He said the criticism is only so i look my best. He ended with how he always knew i'm a wife material and not a girlfriend material. I dont understand that statement much but I'll leave it at that.

Criticism is a Virgo thing that many people won't understand or put up with. They mean well but they give it out with complete disregard of people's feelings yet at the same time are extremely sensitive to critics themselves. Double standards? Yes and no. They simply don't see it that way. Be sure he will continue to criticise you for long time more. He might say he won't but he can't help it. Over time it gets less frequent and one gets more used to it lol was just remembering some times of those criticism long time ago from my bf and thinking wtf was that all about?! He's not doing it as nearly as much anymore but has his moments still but I learned to turn it into a joke so it's no longer an issue

ya I read a lot about that @Sagicorn. One of my closest male friends of 10 years is a virgo so I can relate a lot of my bf's behavior to him. I'd say they both are eerily similar in behavior in terms of being super moody, having their own set of 'rules', behaving hyper aggressive if tiniest of things dont go their way (my bf fought with me for an hour y'day just because I purchased Tresemme conditioner for myself instead of Loreal just because Loreal is the best according to him), and playing childish manipulations when the other party doesn't oblige them at certain times. They both are fiercely loyal and devoted though and they care a lot about the people they love. He missed his important classes last week to drop me home when I wasn't keeping well.

He kept making me understand that his criticism are not exactly criticism but something he'd want me to work on so I look my best. He said "what is wrong if I want you to look the best of all? Doesnt mean I love you any less if you don't but there's nothing wrong in helping you look your best". I tried to be understanding and I told him that i understand him and he said he'd cut the frequency.

Hahaha that wentence sounds so familiar! Yes, they live for "fixing" and helping people they care for! If they don't try to fix you it would be suspicious lol but they mean well just express wrong and can be really too much to take and handle sometimes. However they can also be most amazing lovers and devoted people on the planet! Just you know...getting through all that bs makes you wonder sometimes is it worth it? Can't give the answer on that one since everyone is individual and on their own. What I can say is to stand your ground and don't let yourself be mistreated by anyone, no matter how much they mean to you. And they appreciate you more if you don't let yourself to be pushover.

Yeah I get you and I agree with that myself. The thing is - I have experienced this childish manipulative behaviour from my virgo male bestie. Whenever we fought, I'd soon see a "you didn't listen to me. We are not friends anymore.I am leaving our friendship." Initially I would try my best reasoning with him but then I learnt that this is how he is when he gets angry. Childishly manipulative and aggressive. I stopped reacting to his behaviour and he crawled back to me of his own feeling stupid about his immature act. This behaviour has reduced a lot since he has grown up now.

I internally had a strong feeling of the same reason with my bf because he has the same tendency when he gets mad. Infact,when I asked him "what if i had not done all that pleading and would have agreed to your breakup? So you really would have broken up". He replied "I'd have gotten even more mad at you thinking she never really cared about me and this relationship but then after seeing you today I'd have behaved normal like nothing ever happened and remained the same as I am now". I warned him that he better never pull this behaviour again and he laughed it off.

In times like these,they are little kids being a huge pain in the ass.

They can do all sorts of testings to see how serious you're about them but they'll never admit it trully. Or that tgey get jealous lol depending on the rest of the chart is how jealous and posessive they might get. In my relationship it happens to be we both have prominent Scorp placements so we can both get jealius and posessive and I must admit I did a lot of pleading in early stages too. But now it's much better and it's about compromising to keep each other happy and it works great this way. Just take care of yourself and don't plead too much for anyone, they will respect you as much as you respect yourself

click to expand

only since you mentioned placements..

He is a venus in Scorpio guy and his mars is in Scorpio too...hahaha xD

But ya ,no more bending down as I warned him too.

Posted by bkbella86

He’s pointing out your flaws, ie: negging. And gaslighting you. This isn’t right. And your running back to him begging for more abuse. Ask yourself why you put up with this.

She’s a virgin, first relationship, and in her feels. Hence the constant excuses for him.

He’s gonna break her heart which is sad, but really the only way to learn this lesson.

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by bkbella86

He’s pointing out your flaws, ie: negging. And gaslighting you. This isn’t right. And your running back to him begging for more abuse. Ask yourself why you put up with this.

She’s a virgin, first relationship, and in her feels. Hence the constant excuses for him.

He’s gonna break her heart which is sad, but really the only way to learn this lesson.

click to expand

Third relationship according to her but I totally get what you’re saying. People have to experience things for themselves. It kinda sounds like her heart is already hurting based on this thread and her responses. We both know how it’s going to end.

Posted by LadyNeptune

Also I want to add, comparing you to a House is fucking vile. I’m not an object asshole, I’m a person with emotions and feelings.

My friends daughter just married her first and only man! So STFU mizz ‘know it all’...

What can you show her as an example from your own experience?

Nothing? Exactly!

Posted by gia

Hello fellas!! Just got done with my day.

I am not disagreeing with anyone.

I have an update to share.

So we met today after all that which happened.

I was sitting alone in my class and he came and kissed my forehead the way he always does.

I didn't react to it at all. He behaved absolutely normal with me like nothing so major ever happened. I had a WTF expression throughout the day. My best friend(our mutual friend) was absent today so that gave us more privacy.

He realized how this has affected me as I wasn't talking to him at all as I was hurt deep down with his "i dont love you anymore". So he started the talk of his own. He apologized and said he was extremely mad at that moment so he lost his calm and behaved that way. He said he purposely overdid and overstretched it because he wanted to see how far i'd go for wanting him and us. When i gave him the "You've gotto be kidding me.Ill break your bones" look, he said that given his experience of being cheated on,he felt scared that he'd invest so much of him on me and I'd end up leaving him someday too. He said that he trusts me completely now.

I told him it was a horrible thing he did and he apologized and said he really needed to see. He said everything is like before for him and then he took me out for an icecream to cheer me up.

This is how it is as of yet. Hope it continues *touchwood*

Just for the future if he ever says ‘ex gave me a gift’...smile and say ‘and then she cheated on you’...

Or ‘ex cooked for me’ laugh and say ‘is it before she cheated on you?’...

...and so forth...but smile and say ‘yeah, ho had a great taste in gift giving but she burnt pasta...you are lucky to be rid of her...’

Maybe he will laugh with you! 😉

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by LadyNeptune

Also I want to add, comparing you to a House is fucking vile. I’m not an object asshole, I’m a person with emotions and feelings.

My friends daughter just married her first and only man! So STFU mizz ‘know it all’...

What can you show her as an example from your own experience?

Nothing? Exactly!

click to expand

Cool story bro