Virgo said nothing exclusive but he suddenly became clingy and sweet...I'm confused

I'm a leo and am dating this virgo guy for almost 2 months now and we got along very well. He said he is not looking for something exclusive after a few dates and so I kinda pulled back and didn't txt much unlike before. And then he would suddenly message
siopaowiksJune 12, 2018 3:46am
31 replies
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  • I'm a leo and am dating this virgo guy for almost 2 months now and we got along very well. He said he is not looking for something exclusive after a few dates and so I kinda pulled back and didn't txt much unlike before. And then he would suddenly message me with random things like past 1 am and ofcourse I'll reply late and am still weirded out by him txting so early. And then he asked me out for dinner and specifically told me to wear a dress. So I did wear a dress and during the date he became sweet and clingy. We suddenly took long walks and would ocassionaly stopover and he would ask me to sit inbetween his legs(like what couples do when the sit and embrace eachother) I was surprised with his actions and just went with the flow. He then went on a vacation in brisbane for ten days. I did txt him twice asking abt his adventures and he'll reply after a few days. And then suddenly he txted me past 2am and then 8am he said he was drunk when he txted and he suddenly just updated me with his itinerary. And then he suddenly said he will.fly back that night and if I have plans tomorrow. So when he landed he immediately txted me and asked where I was. He became a bit demanding and clingy. When we saw eachother,he suddenly hugged me tightly and i was surprised. And then when we sleep together and I will just move a bit or go to the toilet,he always get woken up and asks where am I going.

    I am surprised coz he said nothing exclusibe but hw is behaving like he is falling for me...
  • Careful girl....

    If we say nothing exclusive we assume no matter how lovey dovey we act....u remember wat we said.

    Careful!!!!! Protect ur ❤️ 👌🏽👌🏽
  • Endless
    Sun: Leo - Moon: Capricorn
    you're assuming his actions are a sign of him "falling" for you, unless he update that non exclusive thingy, he have an excuse if he meet someone else he kinda likes, so that's the point of saying that in the first place.

    also, common it just 2 months, who knows how it's going to end
  • pisceanloves
    Sun/Venus/Mercury- Pisces. Moon Cancer. Virgo Rising. Gem Mars
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  • tiki33
    "Oxytocin, when it??s got you hooked on the wrong partner, can be tougher to qu
    female
    He's made it clear about what he wants with you and if you respond to him and show up on dates AFTER he's made it clear he doesn't desire exclusivity with you then you're agreeing with him because if you didn't agree with his terms you wouldn't respond to text nor go out on dates. Now that you're on the same page he can freely be affectionate without the pressure of being exclusive with you.
  • Posted by tiki33
    He's made it clear about what he wants with you and if you respond to him and show up on dates AFTER he's made it clear he doesn't desire exclusivity with you then you're agreeing with him because if you didn't agree with his terms you wouldn't respond to text nor go out on dates. Now that you're on the same page he can freely be affectionate without the pressure of being exclusive with you.



    This ^^^
  • I was reading your post and it was going reasonably OK until I got to the 'we slept together' bit...

    He told you after a few dates he wasn't looking for anything exclusive. I don't know how you met or what you both said you were looking for but if a man says he's not looking for anything exclusive yet you are looking for an exclusive relationship then it's not a match. The correct action here at this point would have been to thank him for his time thus far and bid him goodbye.

    If you're Internet dating then it is helpful to have other options during the initial dating stage. Sort through profiles and messages, respond to the ones who are suitable, continue exchanging messages and find out as much info about them and their intention within a few days before meeting them for a date. Only date the ones who say they are looking for a relationship (if that's what you want too). Bin the ones who do not match what you're looking for. Two dates is normal, three dates let's you really see more about the person plus its a good chance to see if their words are the same as their actions such as if they really do want a relationship or if they were chancing their arm or lying. A good vetting process saves time wasting and heart ache later on.

    In your current case, you're accepting the deal he offered you. Just because he asks you out or texts you in the early hours it doesn't meal the terms and conditions have suddenly changed from. You are still on the non exclusive contract, not the girlfriend contract.

    What exactly did he mean by his non exclusive? That he didn't want a relationship at all? He wanted to treetrunk other women while treetrunking you too? Those are my two guesses. I doubt he meant he wanted to date in order to get to know you with a view of having an exclusive relationship (either with you or someone else). You're a Leo. Don't accept the butter contract in the hope it gets exchanged for a better one. It happens but it's the exception, not the rule.

    I would clarify if his 'not looking for exclusivity' has changed. If it hasn't then tell him that as you are looking for a more exclusive relationship that you do not wish to continue with him. If it has changed then it would be a good time to discuss exclusivity etc to ensure you're on the same page.
  • Posted by Earthy
    Careful girl....

    If we say nothing exclusive we assume no matter how lovey dovey we act....u remember wat we said.

    Careful!!!!! Protect ur ❤️ 👌🏽👌🏽



    I see...ok,this makes sense..I just found it weird that after he said that,I didn't bother to txt him and then he kept messaging me and asking me out and doing things couples do..he even saw me first thing when he came back from his vacation..
  • Posted by Endless
    you're assuming his actions are a sign of him "falling" for you, unless he update that non exclusive thingy, he have an excuse if he meet someone else he kinda likes, so that's the point of saying that in the first place.

    also, common it just 2 months, who knows how it's going to end



    I see..but yeah,he hasn't updated anything yet..and i just didn't expect him to be all lovey dovey all of a sudden..I meant if he said non exclusive then why is he doing things in an exclusive way? It confuses me..like non exclusive means no lovey dovey coz ofcourse one party will eventually give in..

    He said non exclusive because of the nature of his work..but I have met his friends and flatmates as well..

    I don't know how virgo guys are but he is also opening up about his insecurities..

  • Posted by tiki33
    He's made it clear about what he wants with you and if you respond to him and show up on dates AFTER he's made it clear he doesn't desire exclusivity with you then you're agreeing with him because if you didn't agree with his terms you wouldn't respond to text nor go out on dates. Now that you're on the same page he can freely be affectionate without the pressure of being exclusive with you.



    This also made sense..when we had "the talk",he said he didn't want anything exclusive coz of the nature of his work..he travels a lot..and I said i am just going with the flow..and then there was a time when i asked him where he was and if he had plans..and he said he is going to a restaurant so I clarified if it was a date,and he said it was kinda a date..and he mentioned that he saw me active on tinder (yes I know,but not everyone is the same on tinder) but I never was,I just changed my photos but I didn't use it again..so I was shocked that he dated because he assumed I was dating somebody else..but those were a thing of the past coz after the talk,I seldom txt him. And he is the one always initiating the meetup. Ofcourse I will assume he is falling for me..he.is even learning the ukulele now (I'm a music teacher) and he.just makes all these sweet gestures that I didn't expect from a non exclusive situationship Sad

    Help with a virgo guy...should I just disappear?
  • We.met on tinder..after the firdt date he kept messaging me even if I went back to my country for holiday,he was updating me with his life..I didn't think too much and just replied. Whenever I ignore him,he keeps wanting to get my attention. Then he asked me out with his friends,played video games,watched movies etc..and then he thought I was active on tinder so he dated another person (same ethnicity as me) coz he thought I was dsting somebody else..but I wasn't. And he said he was sorry.
    And then the talk came so we can clear things out. He said he likes me and my company but the nature of his work he travels and gets.assigned somewhere else after a few months,so that is why he is not looking for anything exclusive and has been single for 3yrs.

    After.the talk he became more relaxed and yes,affectionate and I was surprised at this. I did say that I am just.gping with the flow and not expecting anything
    But then when I didn't message him anymore coz of what he said (as a leo we can't accept defeat infront of the opponent so I just acted.out cool when he said he aint looking for exclusivity) he suddenly messages me during early hours regarding random stuff,maybe just to get my attention. Is there a way to be in the girlfriend contract for a virgo guy?

    He didn't say he didn't want a relationship,he even told me stories of his past that if he weren't traveling for work he might have been married and a dad already. He told me stories of his past which I never asked,even his insecurities and he said he had a huge ego.

    Yeah,I would like to confront him about the exclusivity thing but I don't want to ruin on what is happening now..
  • AneemA04
    Hidden part of self
    Girl, don't get confused. Go with the flow. Have sex with him when you want to.

    Talk and see other guys too.

    No need to be confused.

    Just be non-commital.
  • I can see other guys if I want too..but then I don't want too Sad and also I got scared like what if he assumes again, like what happened last time. I think he said he just saw another girl but didn't really..coz i never had that gut feel that he did.

    I am indeed just going with the flow..but after all these lovey dovey stuff,idk..non exclusive couples in my pov doesn't go on dates or long walks,or lay down on sun beds while.looking at the stars. It just doesn't add up...but thank you for your reply..yeah,just go with the flow lol
  • Thank you all for your response and insights. I think I am falling for him..the fact that I think he is making me fall for him..what I want is him to fall for me and commit to me..but I don't want any pressure that is why I agreed with the mon exclusivity thing..hoping things will change in time and be more exclusive. I let him be,have his own space everytime. I am not clingy,needy or demanding..I am just not used to this lovey dovey b*tter if it was previously discussed that it is non exclusive..
  • I think your version of non exclusive is different to his version. That's all.

    He wants all the trimmings of a loving, communicative, secure relationship... With the ability to leave by using his non exclusive 'card'. This card gives him the full right to leave, whenever he wants, at his decision, and more importantly, without any guilt or emotional mess.

    Your version seems to just be sex. Pitch up, be nice to each other, have sex, leave. No hugs or cuddles. Limited contact and only to arrange a mutually convenient hook up. Limited sharing of personal things.

    Or something like the above.

    So I think that's the first thing. Just different views on the same topic.

    The next thing is that I think you need to be very clear with yourself regarding what it is you are looking for right now in your life. This is THE most important thing. It is important because it will help you manoeuvre your way around this situation and other situations.

    Now that may seem obvious but in your posts you started off with not being so fussed with this guy but I would rewind a little and go back to the reason you joined Tinder in the first place? If you joined to 'see what happens' then this is what you're going to attract. That's fine, except now it has gone from a 'i'll join to see what happens' to a 'I'm not so fussed with this Virgo guy but I'll text him back to see what happens' to 'I'll meet up with Virgo guy just to see what happens' to 'he seemed OK, I'll meet him again just to see what happens' followed by 'I know he said he didn't want an exclusive relationship due to his work but I'll continue to invest my time into him just to see what happens!' ending in 'I know I just went along with this guy to see what happens and I wasn't really bothered about him but now I've invested my time into him, I really like him, plus he seems to really like me despite his non exclusive terms but maybe if I just see what happens some more then maybe he'll change his mind... '

    That's how I think this situation has run.

    Now I'm not saying he won't change his mind. However, he cited work and travel as his main reason for not wanting commitment. Those are fair reasons. Unless he's going to give up his job in order to start a relationship with you, which he's not going to do, then I think you're out of luck.

    Plus, he's been single for three years so he's used to his situation. He knows what he can offer and what he cannot offer someone. He's been straight with you and can only offer short term, non committal company.

    At the moment, if you are happy 'seeing what happens' by investing more time and more of yourself into this then that is OK... BUT... do not do this in the hope of furthering your plight with him. Not being clear or honest with yourself regarding what you want because you felt you should just see what happens... Will lead to a broken heart, and I'm sure a Leo with a broken heart is not a good thing!

    So to recap: be clear with what you want in life. If you want an exclusive, commuted relationship with this guy but he's only offering short term, non committal then I'm afraid it'd not a match. If you pursue this it is unlikely to make you happy. Why? Because you're not getting what you want from him. I'd suggest getting back on Tinder or wherever else and finding a guy who can give you what you want. There's 8 billion people on the planet, not just this Virgo.
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