He's Back!!

Hi guys, Remember me? I haven't posted for a couple of months. I had a relationship with a virgo that turned into such a disaster. I met him at the end of last November. He had just gotten out of a 5 year relationship in July so I was pretty skeptical that he was ready for another relationship, but he convinced me that he was and he was so great. Things went hot and heavy for a while and then he got scared and started doing the push pull thing. One day after about 3 months of bliss and one of our closest nights ever we woke up the next morning and he told me he was probably going to move away. I was floored that he had not told me this information earlier, but I didn't say anything at the time. I ended up having "a talk" with him a few days later because I got fed up and impatient with his actions and of course he felt backed into a corner and broke it off with me because he couldn't give me what I wanted right now and he said he didn't want to hurt me and he was still pretty messed up over his last relationship even though he didn't want her back. I told him I understood. A month later he moved away and I thought I would never hear from him again. That was five months ago and out of the blue I got an e-mail from him like no time has passed. No explanation, just making reference to some movie we had seen together once. In our back and forth for two days e-mailing he eventually told me that he is moving back in 10 days. He hasn't said that he wants to see me. He hasn't said that he just wants to be friends. He isn't saying anything about his intentions and why he is contacting me again. I feel like he is waiting for me to tell him to contact me when he gets back into town, but after what happened before I just don't feel like doing any effort to make it easy for him. I really want him to lead it because I want to know if he is maybe thinking that he wants to start something again. I don't want him to see me because I asked him. I want to know that he really wants to and that he is not scared anymore. I think he may just be testing the waters, but since he hasn't yet told me that he wants to see me I guess I have to assume that he still really doesn't know what he wants. Would I be a fool to go out with him again if he asks? Any advice anybody?

GSLove,

I don't recall who started the thread but it partially answers the question as to whether or not Virgos return. Figure out where you are now emotionally and be honest with yourself. Do you still love, miss, care (etc.) for him? Don't worry about his intentions, just place the importance on your own emotional well-being FIRST! May be it might help to write your thoughts down before you share them with him. Read over it a few times and gauge your reaction to them. If you choose to write a letter, wait a few days before you send it. I've sent off some emails/letters I wish I could recall. Getting yourself centered is the key. If he calls/IMs, acknowledge the call/message, but only become engaged when you ready. Try not to make yourself too available. Keep it light, fight the urge to dig. Run a hot bath, make some tea, get CENTERED. I find it's really helped me with ALL my encounters, not just Virgos. When you build up anxiety in yourself it only complicates things. Believe me, when your head and heart are in the right place, everything else follows. Put the past behind you. CF36

gslove?.

Take up a new creative challenge or follow the heart's desire?... Eternal questions aren't they..??

I would like to suggest that instead of clinging more tightly to crumbling structures, try to dismantle them entirely? This certain person of yours needs to have their foundations shaken from time to time? and no one is better up to the job than an honest lover, of course if you are still interested?.. !

How? — You'll find it yourself when you calm down and think rationally. Remember, Two can play at this game so stop letting yourself be kicked around like a football in the scrum!

And welcome back..!

Hi Catfish,

Sounds like great advice. You are right that I need to figure out where I am emotionally. I can't seperate my real feelings from my pride. I also have to stop asking my friends for advice because half of them are telling me, that he was such a nice guy and he was so honest with me and so good to me when we were together and that he didn't do anything to hurt me on purpose and that I should give him a chance and others are telling me he is just too messed up from his previous relationship and doesn't know how to communicate his feelings and I should just forget him. They are all right. He is all of those things. Hahaha!! I sometimes worry about what other people think of me. I am in a career where I council relationships with other people and I try to practice what I preach, but as we all know it's not always as easy when it is your situation. I am also taking your advice about not making myself too available and the great thing is that I don't have to fake it and play any games because I'm really not physically available right now because of my business and I am very emotionally cautious about him right now which will probably keep me aloof.

Q'bone, I missed you, Can you elaborate on this statement that you made

"I would like to suggest that instead of clinging more tightly to crumbling structures, try to dismantle them entirely? This certain person of yours needs to have their foundations shaken from time to time? and no one is better up to the job than an honest lover, of course if you are still interested?.. !"

It sounds intriguiging, but I'm not sure I understand it completely :-)

To move forward in life, sometimes you'll have to break it up "dismantle things"? (This does not mean that you'll have to break it out with your lover and leave him alone?. But your own imagination and thoughts are in focus.

Let go of your imaginations and negative thoughts my lady?!!

In love path, there are many obstacles and dangers and for some strange reason it is easy to get into conclusions and hence judge the characters..!

There are things that we don?t like to share even with our beloved.. (call it prides or dark side) or what ever you have name for it?

If you push it?. You may get unfavoured kind of response? Virgo or not?!!

I am watching you lady?

🙂

PS..!
Thanks for missing me..

True love story is based on give and take?.right..??

Naw? true love story is to be able to love, with no conditions? and it is not idealistic version of love..!

Love it is not a deal?

For the rest of mortals (like us)? we are seeking to get the (ownership rights).. and nothing more..!!

Sorry to be harsh?. Virgo thing I guess..

🙂

true love story is to be able to love, with no conditions? and it is not idealistic version of love..!

I bow to you Oh wise one 😉

Thanks Sweetie!!

It's not stupid if you rent an old movie called " Enemy Mine (1985) " ? you'll know what I mean... Wolfgang Petersen has taken the love into extreme (in science fictions version).

You'll love it... And possibly makes you to re-learn some thing you may have forgotten in long run..

Give it a try.. and thank you for your compliments...

ALV, Yes they do have great memories. Do all Virgos have that? That was one of the things that impressed me about him. He would really listen and remember everything I told him. He also did research on my profession because he wanted to learn more about me and then went around and bragged about me to all of his friends. That was REALLY impressive. He was also very sensitive and sentimental. I told him once that if we ever broke up I could never drive my usual route home from work anymore (It went right by his house) I wasn't really serious, but a few days later he told me that he was so upset that I said that to him and that it had been ringing in his ears for days and the thought of us breaking up was upsetting.

Yes, they are so good about hiding their emotions. He didn't act like it bothered him at all at the time that I said it. It was like it was a delayed reaction or something.

lol? Virgo professors?..

My Virgo man came back last Friday and this morning just like I knew he would he finally showed up at the coffee shop at the time he Knows I'm always there. The day after we met back in November he came to the coffee shop for the first time to find me and when we were dating he would always come to the coffee shop to purposely run into me and it took him a couple of times and me doing a lot of flirting to get him to ask me out that first time. As we continued to date he would still show up every Thursday to ask me out instead of calling me on the phone and just casually ask me what I was doing on Saturday night. This went on for almost the first 2 months we were together until he was finally comfortable enough just to call me on the phone and ask me out.

This morning he was all smiley and full of compliments on how great I looked. We talked for about 10 minutes to catch up and then a friend of his that was meeting him there showed up. I said hi to his friend and then I said I had to get to work. He stood up and kissed me and said nice to see you. I said nice to see you too and I walked away. Just like before when he was e-mailing me there was no mention that he wanted to go out with me or no mention of why he has returned or what his intentions are. I feel him waiting for me to lead and say "Let's get together" and I just can't do it. He was the one who got the cold feet. I don't feel like I should make it easy for him. I don't know why he insists on playing it so cool. Why can't he just say what is on his mind. Is he not sure what he wants still? Is he playing with me? Is he afraid that I will reject him? Anybody have any ideas what is going through his Virgo mind?

"honestly, they are not very good at chasing you....if u shut the door, they can knock once and if no reponse, loom around but never knock...."

I can vouch for this - 3 virgos later...

*sigh* I know you guys are definitely right. I just have to decide if he is really worth the effort. He is such a great guy in so many ways, but I'm not sure I want to be in a relationship where I feel like I'm doing most of the work. I know I want to go out with him again to see where my feelings are and where he is, but it just may be too late for us. I think I will just leave it up to the universe and see what unfolds. I'm trying to control this way too much.

Thanks

These guys are so slow they can drive you nuts..
GSlove has he asked you or tried to find out if you are seeing anyone, or have you tried finding out if he had been with anyone in the past 5 months?
Maybe he doesn't know that you are available, but truly with these guys you can never know.
I am still trying to figure out what's up with my virgo interest.

Hi Capw,
Are you talking about your virgo at work? It sounds like he really likes you, but like my virgo wants you to be the one to make things happen. He is waiting for you to make all the moves.

To answer your question, no, he has not asked me if I am seeing anyone else and I have not asked him either. He doesn't even have the cajones to call me on the phone. The way he sees it he probably already did way more than he usually does. It was a really huge thing for him to even send me that e-mail a couple of weeks ago I'm sure. He is probably now thinking. O.K. I made my move, the ball is in her court now.

I could have sworn that I saw him drive past my house the other day too. I just don't get it.

I have a friend that is now engaged to a Virgo and they dated for 8 months before he even kissed her for the first time. Correction, before she finally kissed him the first time.

Are all of you Virgo guys like this—? WHY—?? I know Dy will tell me the truth. Won't you Dy?? :-)

"even virgo say things actually they love to talk and share information ....yes 'information'..not 'emotions'....i am sure that they are not purposely secretive but attimes they dont even themselves know what they want outta life"

Archer, I have to agree they love to share information. So when do they become ready to share emotions. Why do they play this emotional game and wait for the woman to make all the moves?

"Yes they do have great memories. Do all Virgos have that?" most of the time, yes