Highly sensitive at work

Another topic that is bothering me a lot lately is the intense sensitivity I feel at work.

I am thankful to have a very successful career and even though I work a lot I sincerely enjoy what I do and it's going great.

Since I have received many appraisals by the management I could feel the shift in interpersonal relationships at work.

Colleagues I used to be close with started teaming up against me almost ignoring my presence. I have realized on many occasions that there are rumors spread about me and people have tried to backstab me.

I know that this is common practice in the corporate world and even though personally I try to keep out of things like these it affects me a lot these days.

People are jelous on others success and fear competition.

I have spoken to management regarding a few issues but of course I can't make anyone like me if they wish not to.

I also confronted collueges but so far it hasn't helped much.

One more thing I must add is that I have always wanted an own business and I feel that these things happen so I won't get complacent however in the meantime (2-3 years, who knows) I highly reply on my job and I would like to make it a place I feel comfortable at.

If any of you have similar experiences and ways to deal with these issue I would be more than happy to read about them.

I'm sorry that you're going through that, as it doesn't seem warranted or appropriate for mature people to be behaving this way. Unfortunately there is nothing you can do except try to not let the actions of people determine your happiness. I know it's a difficult task and easier said than done, it takes a lot of practice but tuning these people out would be the best for your mental stability and career. My guess is that they are jealous of your hard work, so let them be jealous but don't give them the satisfaction of knowing they make you upset. People cannot make you feel anyway unless you give them permission to!

Posted by Jasmina

Since I have received many appraisals by the management I could feel the shift in interpersonal relationships at work.

Colleagues I used to be close with started teaming up against me almost ignoring my presence. I have realized on many occasions that there are rumors spread about me and people have tried to backstab me.

No, people usually aren't jealous of other's hard work. In fact, people are usually very excited for their colleagues who are accomplished.

However ................ they do act that way towards a brown-noser.

Thanks very much. It means a lot.

I have always been so kind and supportive towards everyone at work. I believe in unconditional love.Its my motto in life but as most people you deal with always expect something in return they think that I do the same.

P- Angel, regarding your comment, if brown nosed means arrogant you are very wrong. As I said above I am probably the last person to me arrogant and I see everyone as equal, no matter which stage of life we are in or status we hold. I am extremely humble and simple.

I work hard and I am being recognized for this because I do anything I do with inward conviction and passion. That's what many people don't and that's the reason why they tempt to be envious.

At Livibowyah, that is totally right. I need to find a way to tune this negative energies out. If you have any suggestions on how to do that feel free to share...It's certainly something I would like to learn.

In my personal life I like to surround myself with positive people only but professionally this is not possible as you can't chose who you spend 10 hours a day Mon- Fri with...

..oh and I have never been fortunete enough of working with people that are excited for others success. If you can tell me in which corporate wnvironment this happens I will send my CV straight away. That would be my dream in working in such a place.

I can tell from my collueges that even though I am not part of their group, no one is happy for the others success. Matter of fact, they all hang out with each other but when the person leaves they gossip behing their backs. I am sorry but I can't be part of anything like this. I like to be authentic.

Posted by Jasmina

..... I have never been fortunete enough of working with people that are excited for others success. If you can tell me in which corporate wnvironment this happens ....

It happens in all corporate environments.

If you have NEVER seen this, then the probability that you are the problem is very high.

If in a scenario - you are friends, or at least close acquaintances with co-workers, then once you get a pat on the back from your superiors, then these same people turn against you and this happens EVERY time ... then you're not a success, you're a suck up.

This post reminds of today and yesterday at work!!!

Both days it felt like to me that those that are in authority don't know how to talk to us!

Hahaha.. You are making me laugh. I am not a suck up at all. I am just not a fake person.

I see that 99 percent of my work collueges are backbiting between each other and instead of concentrating on work they like to sit all day gossip about each other with each other. (when the other parties are not there). The fact that they spent so much time on these things at the end reflect on their performance.

I am sorry to disappoint you but I won't work less to be liked by people who have so much respect for each other that they would like to see the other person fail.

The results of my work are the reason that I am being praised. that is the sole measurement of it.

To Vorgo Cupcake, I am sorry to hear this. I know it's very tuff if someone in management doesn't know how to treat their staff. Respect and common courtesy is a very important thing when communicating with each other.

Try to free yourself from it, and if at any chance you can't address it. I always like to believe in straight forwardness.

Oh, and P- Angel I appreciate your time but I haven't posted this blog to be put down, only to share experiences and receive constructive criticism on how to deal with something that has been bothering me, so if I could kindly ask you to stop posting the opposite that would be great. Thanks very much!

Lady of Rebirth, the reason for that that the corporate world is full of competition.

If you are doing well you are naturally a competitor.

I had this conversation with another colluege of mine and even though ensuring that I am not even slightly interested in his position he keeps feeling threatened.

To be frank, having a career has never been a dream of mine and still it isn't.

It happened and I am thankful for it, but i personally do have other priorities and climbing up the career ladder no matter what is NOT one of them.

Being in an environment that is respectful and harmonious IS.

Yup. I heard it a lot till I started experiencing it first hand.

From speaking to many of my friends that are working corporate most of them are facing this. Some are better with dealing with it, the others are more affected.

I think it may not be as tuff if you work in either non profit or the sector of arts.

Other than this there is always working from home. I am also thinking of options on how to avoid these negative energies. What works great for me is to be a bit flexible with my timings. I try to avoid the crowd as much as I can and it works wonders.

I guess it's a personality thing. Some people are better working in groups whereas others in solitute.

I found this amazing book on the topic, check it out:

http://www.amazon.com/Making-Work-Strategies-Surviving-Thriving/dp/0743250877

*or arts

Jasmina,

I understand where you are coming from. I have worked in the healthcare for over 20 years. I've gone through 3 lay offs so that the company could merge with another company and then of course, cut wages for better profit for the VIP's.

I've put in my time and always given 100% . Like you, I am a competitor and also a "can do" type person. I have always brought a work ethic, a sense of integrity and a purpose to my career. Being a woman quite often in the work place if you possess these qualities, you are labeled a bitch. If you're man with these qualities, you're revered and rewarded with a promotion.

My life's #1 priority is to be the best Mom I can be for my kids. My career, while very important to me, isn't what defines me. I think some women don't like that. Some are so driven to have career, the lose sight of what's really important; IE: their families. Single women can compete and have nothing at home hold them back.

I'm probably older than you so please heed this advice. Do what makes you happy first and foremost. You can't change your co workers behavior nor your bosses. You can only change your own. If you're not happy, then going to work is a waste of time. Yes, I do understand in today's society and economy, we all need to work to make $ $ $ . I did just that. I took a job a month ago that was not my niche, was 1/2 of my normal pay rate and dealt with people who didn't have the same type of education nor experiences I brought to the table. Honestly, I was more qualified to be the manager than the person trying to be the manager. I not only worked the days I was scheduled, but I actually went in several times to cover for the slackers who couldn't make it in to work. For that, I got treated with disdain.

Today was my day off. I got an angry text from my manager as to why I wasn't there yet. I told her it was my day off. She ranted about how I was a horrible worker etc. Rather than suck it and keep working in a very non productive and stressful environment that took me away from my kids and their activities, I told her I don't need her crap and quit. I have NEVER done this before. But man did it feel great!

I took the opportunity to set up two more interviews in my field and just got done with an interview this am. Sometimes negative experiences can open up a door for new opportunities. Remember your priorities first, know who you are and what you want. Those who dismiss you can suck it!

Gemini 64, thanks so much for your message. It genuinely means a lot and between the lines I can so read the strength you possess over and I can totally related to the way you feel.

You certainly did the right thing in simply saying No to something that didn't serve you well. We need to value ourselves and I strongly believe by letting people that are so inferior (Their actions show that they are) we are punishing ourselves.

I am also happy to hear from a woman that has had a career that what is most important is to be a good mother. This is exactly my mindset. When I wrote earlier that I am trying to show my colleges that they shouldn't fear me, it is exactly for that reason. Having a family is my dream, not climbing up the corporate ladder going over dead bodies in order to get a promotion. Life is too short for that.

As I am also coming from a very strong professional and educational background I can't help but realize that many people simply feel insecure around me, which results in me feeling their energies and going home drained.

I tried very hard to deal with these people and fighting their insecurities with kindness but the more I try to do that the more they are trying to harm me.

At this stage I have decided to just stay away from such people and luckily my work allows me to do that for the most part. Even if people regard me as "sucking up to others" just because I enjoy what I do I won't let this stop me from being excellent. We are meant to shine and if people have an issue with that, they should wear sunglasses...hehe :-)

yup, we are meant to shine.

one thing i've learned over the past 10 years is this. today's generation (and yes i have two boys ages 12,13 so i get it), have a different mentality from what was instilled in me by my parents. my parents lived through the great depression and grew up on farms. they got up at 5am, did their chores, then went to school, came home did more chores and then went to bed. it was called survival. today's generation (OK, not 100% but a lot) (i know some on here who are younger will probably attack me, oh well), have an entitlement mentality. I've seen it first hand in the work place. I've worked with 20 year olds who think they deserve the same salary my education degrees and work experience brings. It's mind blowing how much they don't get it.

People don't have the work ethic of our generation. It's due to their parents having more to give them and the fact that they have so many options in life compared to what I had. I swear all of my boys' friends have cell phones. I won't buy them one until they are old enough to pay for part of the service charge and mature enough to use it properly. I see how these kids are basically snots because they've been given so much for doing nothing. And this type of attitude has permeated the work place.

So when I bring my work ethic, integrity and can do attitude, I am often met with co workers who see this as a threat. It's a threat to them only because they choose to come to work with a chip on their shoulder and a lazy, self absorbed attitude. Now I'm not saying all 20 year olds fall into this category. I have worked with some who are fantastic. But only because their parents instilled into them work ethic and morals. So overall, it's fewer and far between.

When 50% of your nation's population is on some type of government assistance, there is a huge gap between the ones who bust their collective asses and work to pay for all those who don't.

I enjoy working with people in general. That's one reason I love healthcare. I've learned the hard way you can't please everyone all the time. So what you do to have peace of mind is know who you are, what you want and live that. In the end when all hell breaks loose, you only have yourself. If you can look yourself in the mirror and be ok with who you are, that's all that matters.

Posted by Jasmina

I see that 99 percent of my work collueges are backbiting between each other

Well, look at you .. the truth comes out when you're put against the wall.

You think you're such the shit that 99% of your work is envy worthy.

Now we find out the REAL reason why your co-workers are whispering behind your back .. snickering is more like it.


Let me guess ... you actually believe that you made a positive thread here, in that you are clueless that you gossip and gripe about your colleagues, which makes you the exact person you detest.

You don't get that ^^^^^^^^ obviously.


Tell you what ... when you are real, I'll treat you like it. Thus far, the only thing you've proven about your integrity is that your ego rules it.

Your problem you have at work with EVERY job you had in this arena (according to you) .... is you believing you are more than you are.

Did I read somewhere that the Virgo is naturally humble? ... so, did your mother drop you on your head when you were a baby?

Because the reality is ... and all we know it except you ... if you really were that good, then you'd be the boss.

You're not ... only someone at the bottom is going to worry about the other bottom feeders.

If you actually were all that you believe ... then you wouldn't care what pions think.


Oh, but, you do care .... so much in fact, that you've made this thread in honor of how far up your ass your panties can actually wedge about what the PIONS think.

... because that's where you are.


so, if you really want help, then do yourself a favor and get over yourself ... because your only enemy is you.

Posted by Jasmina

.... I am trying to show my colleges that they shouldn't fear me ....

.... I can't help but realize that many people simply feel insecure around me ....

wow ... there's no doubt in my mind that you are completely blind to any form of reality.

Why are all the deluded people Virgos?

I respect your POV champranger. the reason why it's difficult to find jobs now days is simple.

bad economy
improved technology, many jobs now mechanized
many jobs outsourced overseas
huge influx of illegal immigrants

another factor i've dealt with is this. some companies won't hire someone as me because i'm older. they want a younger person
who won't retire in 10-15 years or so. i see this, a lot.

Gemini, I couldn't agree more with you. It's true. Many people don't put their heart in whatever they do.

To be honest for me it doesn't make a difference. As you said I like to look into the mirror every morning knowing that I haven't treated anyone disrespectful nor did I do something that doesn't fir to my inward morals and values.

People will always find something to talk about. If you are experienced, you are cocky. If it's your first job, you know nothing. If you dress well you are arrogant. If you don't you know nothing about fashion and you are so out. There will always be something to talk about.

I personally refuse to accept this kind of behavior. It's against my faith and everything I have ever believed in.

Regarding your issue I totally understand. You need to be patient. Also have you looked into having an own business? This would give you the opportunity to use your skills and expertise and you would be the boss. :-) It takes a lot of hard work and determination though but believe me every second is worth it...

*I dont know how in the world my phone recognized chickeny as a word. I meant cocky...

To P-Angel, do you actually read my messages?lol

99% are talking between each other ABOUT each other.

How can this result in me being cocky? :-)

Posted by Jasmina

It happened and I am thankful for it, but i personally do have other priorities and climbing up the career ladder no matter what is NOT one of them.

Being in an environment that is respectful and harmonious IS.

Sorry sweety, but just from these statements I can tell that you're probably in the wrong business.

For a long term most probably I am. You are totally right.

I can't play the game though you know. I like to be authentic in anything I do.

I think it's all about finding ways to deal with it. It's a learning procedure like everything in life.


P-Angel I can read a lot of bitterness between the lines. I don't mean to attack you at all.

If there is anything on your mind you would like to discuss feel free to share it too because a lot of you mention doesn't have to do with me. I think there are some things you are dealing with and you are reflecting it through my threat.

I don't believe in archiving any results by attacking people...

Meditation has helped me a lot in not concerning myself in how others view me and more in focusing on how I really view myself. Lack of confidence really stems from us not really enjoying who WE truly are. The more you turn the mirror away from yourself and towards others, you will begin to feel peace. By that I mean don't necessarily feel attacked when you think they are discussing you behind your back, let it roll off of your shoulders and direct you energy outwards into being maybe more sociable with them, if they aren't into it then that's that, and nothing you can do to change it. Learning that what others think about you is not your business, it really isn't. As long as you know what kind of person you are, no one can take that away from you. Let the bull roll off of your shoulders! Negativity attracts more negativity, and thus the vicious cycle will never end unless you break the routine. You got this, just try to practice it, it takes time that's for sure but don't ever stop.

Liviboyah, awesome advise. You are very right. I tempt to get self conscious at times. Even deep inside I know I still have a hard time shaking these energies off.

I am trying my best though by practicing exactly what you have described via prayer and meditation.

It used to bother me much more. I am getting better at it day by day.

I am still practising the art of just switching certain energies.

For example I used to be very drained and emotional on full moon. I still am but since a while I have learnt to use this melancholy I have been feeling to engage in creative activities such as writing or painting...

Jasmina,
What you experienced is normal at corporate world. Just stay positive, be as indispensable as you can and keep searching for new opportunities.
Try not to mind p-angel so much.

Dear Virgodragirl...Thanks very much. I will certainly do that.

As I said earlier, we are all meant to shine. God gave us this light. If other people have an issue with them it's theirs. :-)

Thanks for the encouragement.

P-Angel is a waste of space on these boards...someone give that woman a hug ASAP!

Jasmina - don't worry about their behavior...people can read that you want to get along with them badly...so they use it against you...jealousy, revenge, insecurities...whatever you want to chalk it up to...it's not even worth wasting your brain power on it...be happy for yourself...stay true to you...and let them be who they are...

lol..:-)

Thanks so much Angel. You are a star! Great advise.

It's true. There is a lot of these energies floating around. It's all a learning experience.

Thanks for the support. I appreciate it very much. Keep shining sistas! :-)