Virgo guys - hot/cold and mixed signals

Well for some reason I'm always drawn to Virgo guys, happened again some week ago but the behavior they are showing is so confusing!

So I met mister Virgo at work where he was attending a three day seminar and we flirted, smiled at each other and did a lot of small talking, sharing the same humour for things. On his last day I went to say bye and joked that he had to send a post card from his hometown. I couldn't forget him so I decided to message him on fb a few days later. He was so happy and surprised by that and asked how I found him (didn't know his name, had to do some research).

Anyway we sent messages back and fourth for days, just writing and joking and he asked me to come and visit him (its far from where I live) and that he would plan something fun for us to do. Like always when dealing with a Virgo I've noticed I have to be the one whose initiating most things like e.a texting. Everything's been fine until now when he is kinda backing off a little and haven't heard from him in 2 days. He's not always answering my texts either, and I dont know how he can be so excited and then become so distant! I did text him and asked if he really wants me to come and visit, but he insisted that he wanted that and that he would be mine for the whole weekend. So he wants to see me, but why is Virgo guy doing this - going hot/cold and never texts you first. I've been deeply hurt by a Virgo with same kind of behavior before so I try to be careful. So Virgo people and especially u guys, what to do in this case? Should I continue to text him or back off and let him do some work?

So you stalked the guy to find out his name? Lol 😛

Sounds like he was being polite but just isn't interested. But then again I'm not a guy so you will most likely disregard my opinion. How long ago was this work seminar?

Your virgo guy is exhibiting normal male behavior.

Guys like to flirt and exchange texts etc. However, after connecting with you a few times, they back off. Why? It's their nature. To communicate often and invoke emotions, that is feminine. This type of constant barrage of texts/emails etc. freaks out guys; they shy away from it and won't return texts right away or at all because it makes them feel pressured and controlled. It threatens their independent masculine nature.

This is known as the "rubber band effect theory"....Dr. John Gray, famous for his book, "Men are from Mars, women are from Venus", came up with this theory about why men pull you in then push you away. In as much as it's normal for a woman to communicate with a guy they are attracted to and want to hear his feelings about her, it's just as normal for a guy to run from that because it overwhelms their emotions. They don't do emotions in the same manner we women do. They are wired totally different.

Women are wired to communicate to share emotions. Men are wired to communicate to make a point. Go watch a youtube video about the rubber band effect and you'll understand.

Now when you add the fact that he's a virgo, the push pull thing will only be enhanced. They are analyzers....they aren't overtly emotional. They come across cold and detached. Inside they are figuring you out and where you fit in their life. They move slow. If you aren't extremely patient, you will get frustrated with their process.

Fact: the more you chase a guy, the faster and further he will pull away. Men are wired to chase. You want him to chase you and have his attraction develop more? You've already shown him you like him. Now go do your own thing and live your life. No more communication. He will begin to miss the interaction and want to know why you aren't "into him" anymore. If he's really into you, he will pursue you. It's the law of attraction. We all want what we can't have.

Ohhhh boy virgos... Honestly I believe you should give him some space and STOP texting him.. Let him contact you... I think you're applying too much pressure..

Worked for me like a charm

We'll the guy I like is virgo like I am!!!

Very hot and cold!

Kind of hard to kmow which direction they're coming from. I say to look out for actions. One thing they do like is space at times. So I would be consistent then just do a day or two in their own space. Still trying to figure it out. But so far that has worked for me. 😄

I have to initate contact sometimes too!!

I think some things will be half and half. Even tho I text first, its him to makes he effort to come schedule when we will see each other. Everthing wont be even. Just see the trip for what it is, you want to see him and its doing something you want to do. He wont be your boyfriend tomorrow. I wouldn expect him to. But nothing is wrong with going to see him! imo. have fun!!

We make the mistake when we get serious too fast. Men pull away from that. I just try to enjoy the moment 🙂

LOL. This thread reminds me of when I used to date a boyfriend who is now my husband (cancer).

Him: How come you never call me?
Me: Because I don't want to bother you.
Him: It makes me think you don't care.
Me: Care about what?
Him: It makes me think that you don't care about me.
Me: Well...I'm here, aren't I? 😄
Him: That's not funny and yeah I can hear your grind.
Me: Sorry...how is your day so far?

When I would disappear for two days or for a weekend or so, he would just show up at my door and found me doing my laundry or napping or etc. I'm a homebody so I'm always home.

Him: Oh there you are....I got worry when you didn't answer your phone?
Me: Yeah it's the weekend so I usually turn it off (this is a lie by the way).
Him: (knowing that I just lied to him) I see. Have you eat?
Me: Fried chicken?
Him: Be right back.
Me: I'll warm up the plate.
Him: okey dokey.

By the way, he used to live 600 miles away from me when we were dating.

yes it is. it's called push pull. all men do this. virgo men are experts at it.

Posted by capricornus87
Well for some reason I'm always drawn to Virgo guys, happened again some week ago but the behavior they are showing is so confusing!

So I met mister Virgo at work where he was attending a three day seminar and we flirted, smiled at each other and did a lot of small talking, sharing the same humour for things. On his last day I went to say bye and joked that he had to send a post card from his hometown. I couldn't forget him so I decided to message him on fb a few days later. He was so happy and surprised by that and asked how I found him (didn't know his name, had to do some research).

Anyway we sent messages back and fourth for days, just writing and joking and he asked me to come and visit him (its far from where I live) and that he would plan something fun for us to do. Like always when dealing with a Virgo I've noticed I have to be the one whose initiating most things like e.a texting. Everything's been fine until now when he is kinda backing off a little and haven't heard from him in 2 days. He's not always answering my texts either, and I dont know how he can be so excited and then become so distant! I did text him and asked if he really wants me to come and visit, but he insisted that he wanted that and that he would be mine for the whole weekend. So he wants to see me, but why is Virgo guy doing this - going hot/cold and never texts you first. I've been deeply hurt by a Virgo with same kind of behavior before so I try to be careful. So Virgo people and especially u guys, what to do in this case? Should I continue to text him or back off and let him do some work?

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^What NOT to do with a Virgo.

You've only met this guy recently...why are you expecting so much so soon?

If you're initiating everything and he never initiates...that's your answer there. He's flattered by how interested you are in him off the bat..he didn't even have to do a thing, other than going along with the high you're on.

I don't know if he's interested or not but you need to step back. You don't even know this guy yet.

Too much cardinal energy makes us run for the hills.

Virgo Guy might be like this right now:

Thank you all for the help, I know now that I need to chill and relax and not push him too much 🙂 I did actually hear from him, he had been working a lot and was stressed so that's why he hadn't contacted me.

And Damnata, your Ice age picture says it all, lol! 🙂 probably exactly how he has been feeling! 🙂

Posted by Damnata
Too much cardinal energy makes us run for the hills.

Virgo Guy might be like this right now:

That heaving bosom.... It's so sexy

Not a dude, but as a Virgo with chronic issues about responding to texts in a timely manner there are three general reasons why.

Scenario #1

I can really be into a person and enjoy talking to them but I've gone into 'happy work time tunnel vision' mode which will make it nearly impossible for me to do anything that deviates from the task at hand. A constant battle for significant others, even after I snap out of it.

"I agreed to do what? Of course I was listening to you,baby... I just wasn't paying attention to anything you said."

#2

I can still like the person and want to talk to them but our conversation has taken a turn so that I'm not really sure how to reply so I'll put the phone down for a while to think about it. And then sometimes... ooohh shiney!

*three days later*

Oh yeah, about that. My bad.

#3

It was fun for a while but then I got bored. Too much pursuit beyond that point becomes, "Damn, woman, why are you being so pushy? Stop crowdin' mah space!" Because for some strange reason I would rather blow a person off than tell them I'm not interested... because I don't want to hurt their feelings. I have to facepalm myself for those times.

But if they back off for a while and I decide I'm still interested after all, "Hey girl, where'd you go? Let me holla at chu. Holla! Holla! Holla!"

Okay, maybe it's not quite like that but you get the idea. 😄

With me texting doesn't work. I have a lot of things that need my time and distract my attention.

Calls are the way to go. Even then let's not drag stuff out just because hearing our voices talk is lovely.

Quality > Quantity

Posted by CluelessCancer
^ok now it makes sense why you're single.

how is ^^^^ this any different from 'this is my happy face'??

This was just some light flirting and you took it too far. You barely know this man but hunted him down on FB then start chasing after him. If he were interested enough in you, he would have asked for your number b4 the end of the conference. Men chase after what they want. You simply flattered him by going to this level to stroke his ego. Besides, he's not geographically desirable. Move on and let the men come after you because then you know at least that they are interested enough to bust the first move. If they aren't interested or single enough, they won't take that risk. Live & learn.

Posted by Damnata
Too much cardinal energy makes us run for the hills.

Virgo Guy might be like this right now:

LMAO!!

well whats the "push pull"? LOL

Posted by Curiousram

Posted by VirgoCupcake
I have to initate contact sometimes too!!

I think some things will be half and half. Even tho I text first, its him to makes he effort to come schedule when we will see each other. Everthing wont be even. Just see the trip for what it is, you want to see him and its doing something you want to do. He wont be your boyfriend tomorrow. I wouldn expect him to. But nothing is wrong with going to see him! imo. have fun!!

We make the mistake when we get serious too fast. Men pull away from that. I just try to enjoy the moment 🙂

Im talking to a virgo guy and what i noticed is he will take over an hour to reply to one of my texts and i will do the same exact thing to him because two can play that game. But he often asks me why it took me so long to reply. So i think it works in my favor because it shows he gets upset if i don't reply fast

click to expand

YUP!!!

Esp if you leave the convo when he expects for u to respond but you just leave it alone? Will drive him insane!!!! My virgo guy, talks alot on person. Via text and phone sometimes its average. Now if or when I text or call. I just say what I need to and then get off the phone 😄

Posted by Este8
This was just some light flirting and you took it too far. You barely know this man but hunted him down on FB then start chasing after him. If he were interested enough in you, he would have asked for your number b4 the end of the conference. Men chase after what they want. You simply flattered him by going to this level to stroke his ego. Besides, he's not geographically desirable. Move on and let the men come after you because then you know at least that they are interested enough to bust the first move. If they aren't interested or single enough, they won't take that risk. Live & learn.

Very well said.

Posted by VirgoCupcake

YUP!!!

Esp if you leave the convo when he expects for u to respond but you just leave it alone? Will drive him insane!!!! My virgo guy, talks alot on person. Via text and phone sometimes its average. Now if or when I text or call. I just say what I need to and then get off the phone 😄

All the Virgo men I know are much more talkative in person. They only text or call when they need to make a point or to just briefly check in and say hi. I don't think they're the type for small talk via phone. They definitely prefer the face to face interaction.

Give him the chance to initiate contact...If he does great. (Most probably he will).
If he doesn't his loss...