I cut Virgo off...did I do the right thing

I'd been friends and then fwb with this virgo guy for 2.5 years. I'm a capricorn. When we graduated college (a year ago) I moved back to my hometown which is only an hour away. We stayed friends, I visited him a lot in the summer when I could. But things changed as the months went on and I started seeing him post pictures of this girl. I finally asked him who she was. He explained to me she's someone he's loved since high school and back then she didn't want him but recently things got more serious between them but they're not in a relationship. He also went on to tell me that he has "several other amazing women in his life." He told me in so many words to not leave his life because I've had such a great impact on his life. So me being a dummy, I stuck around a little while longer. But the posts kept increasing and it finally struck me that #1) he doesn't care what I see and #2) he's totally in love with this girl.

So I told him how it upset me and that I felt like a backburner and wasn't gonna stand for it. He told me that it wasn't like that and things between them are messy. He proceeded to remind me that not only does he have a connection with her, but he has other connections with other women. I guess that was supposed to make me feel better? It didn't.

After several exchanges of long text message essays, he told me he'd call me so we could talk about it in depth. He made one attempt to call me, during a time he knew that I was at work. And when I called him back he claimed to be busy at work as well. So we never spoke about it on the phone and it kinda got swept under the rug. I texted him telling him I know how this kind of thing usually ends and he asked how so. I told him it ends in heartbreak and he told me that if I think like that then of course it will end like that. He proceeded to tell me to adjust my mindset.

I don't know how I got wrapped up into someone like this for as long as I did. I wish I had seen the warning signs earlier and just let him go before my feelings got invested. It's been a month since he and I talked. I blocked him on a few social networks, to begin the process of letting go. But it hurts. Because I see that he hasn't even taken notice that I've given up or reached out to me. I feel like he's 100% focused on her and she rules his world; he doesn't even think twice about me. I feel betrayed, and we were supposed to be friends before anything. I don't know if it could ever go back to being that.

I feel like th

^ I feel like there's no real closure and I feel a bit guilty since I disappeared without an explanation. At the same time, maybe he expects it. He did once tell me he didn't want to ruin me. Either way, this no talking thing has made the letting go process much harder for me. Should I try to reach out to him or just continue to let it be—

Thanks I appreciate your feedback. I definitely don't want to be treated that way and I definitely want to stand apart. I've played the fool once before in my past, I don't want to do it a second time.

Wow that struck a cord I'm going through a very similar situation atm, even the social media block!
I unfortunately don't have great advice since I don't know how to deal with it myself but I've been the side chick before and it's never a good place to be...I think you were right to tell him how you felt and it's not you who has to adjust your mindset, nobody deserves to be #2 for our #1.

I'm right there with you!

I really appreciate the encouragement, virgorilla. I agree, I've just gotta bite the bullet and let go.

Liya92, I'm with u 100% ! No one should settle for #2 or even #1 for that matter. I want to be the ONLY one and u should too girl. I wish u the best of luck

Yes, u did the right thing. Way to go on taking control of your own destiny. Most guys are like ur guy, they're the cheap ones, dime a dozen, you know what I'm saying?

You deserve better!

Thanks ladies 🙂

Thanks 🙂 I guess my only concern is --- why hasn't he bothered to even take notice that I've disappeared? that's the part that hurts the worse. He didn't even come running. And maybe I shouldn't want him to, but boy what a reality check.

It's because he doesn't give a shit.

Yeah, it happens.

It hurts. Like hell. Then you realise the guy is a prick. Then you move on and find someone else more suited only this time you don't venture into a FWB as you know how crap it was the last time around.

Then you all live happily ever after... Awwww _??_

FWB is messy messy messy, infact they should be outlawed all together. lol. Tree trunking buddy.. yeah, not friends, someone always gets hurt or caught up. I had a fwb relationship that turned into love, with a Virgo. But, it is not a happy ending, as of yet. But, with this Virgo.. leave his ass hanging..

Posted by hopelesscapricorn
Thanks 🙂 I guess my only concern is --- why hasn't he bothered to even take notice that I've disappeared? that's the part that hurts the worse. He didn't even come running. And maybe I shouldn't want him to, but boy what a reality check.

He hasnt called because he knows you like him and even tho you pulled the plug, he knows you dont mean it.

He hasnt come running because he has other girls to keep him occupied.

Find solace that at least he was up front with you.

Posted by hopelesscapricorn
Thanks 🙂 I guess my only concern is --- why hasn't he bothered to even take notice that I've disappeared? that's the part that hurts the worse. He didn't even come running. And maybe I shouldn't want him to, but boy what a reality check.

He hasnt called because he knows you like him and even tho you pulled the plug, he knows you dont mean it.

He hasnt come running because he has other girls to keep him occupied.

Find solace that at least he was up front with you.

I do hope that this is the last reality check you need. I mean he gave you alot of jagged pills to swallow. Theres been like 5 reality checks so far.

Plenty more fish in the sea. Imo, a virgo will deny deny deny until they themselves are ready. They live in a totally. Different reality.

Posted by DMV

I do hope that this is the last reality check you need.

Theres been like 5 reality checks so far.

There have been several posts about him in last 6 months in here. She has gotten some good input from people ... but, ignores all of it so she can continue to act like a victim.

There was even a mention in here that she's been unaware of this bullshit ... which is a lie, of course. REad her posting history .. you will find that she's been living in oblivion.

I have no pity for you. He throws you scraps of bones and you goggle them up like good little bitch. Then come here and pretend like you're not his dog.