I did a bad thing

I have to write on here, as I feel I have to tell someone, but i can't tell anyone i know. Last night i slept with my friend. He is in a LTR, but i think his gf has a low sex drive. we have had moments before and slept together a few years ago before i knew his gf that well. now i am good friends with both of them, but whenever me and him are alone together, lately, something happens. i wrote about this in a previous post, where i stated that i felt we should be together and we may have ended up together if we had both been single at the same time.bad timing. we have been close friends for a few years now.
The trouble is, I don't even feel that guilty. i know it is wrong, but I care for my friend and I know he misses sex. It's almost like I am providing a service for him, letting him express a big part of his personality that he can't with his gf. It's relatively safe, as I am not a random person and I respect his situation and know how important this relationship is to him. He says he puts a lot into it and doesn't get so much back. He has never cheated before, but liked me before he even got together with his gf. unfortunately i was with someone else when we met. I love him as a friend first and foremost. We are very alike and if things were different, I think we would make a more compatible pairing in many ways. but maybe i just want what i can't have. it is very attractive to go for someone unavailable.. i do it all the time. I think in me he sees someone who is wild and fun and that appeals coz he is with a mortgage now and 'setttled' down at a fairly young age. I see in him a good, decent man who is domesticated and caring. I don't want to be with him now, i am still hung up on someone else (virgo guy!), but i think maybe one day I might be.
I just don't know why i don't feel bad, i will when i see her, i will get paranoid that she knows something. the thought of her finding out is just unbearable. I think that coz I see this friend of mine as such a decent guy, the last person you would think would cheat, it almost makes it alright. It's such a grey area. The older I get and the more experience I have with relationships, I just dunno what to think anymore. But what I don't like is the fact that I seem to be turning nto a femme fatale character. I should take more responsibility and say no to people. but to be honest, I like having sex and it is very hard to say no. I live in the moment and if it feels right there and then, then maybe it is right

If you were in her shoes....you wouldnt feel this way.

Karma is a bitch that comes back 10 folds.

Karma is a bitch that comes back 10 folds.

Then GODS help me?.. I would be 50,000 years old when I get rid of my first set of karma's?

20,000 more karma to deal with?.

Sigh..


Anyway? do you feel guilty or not..??

I just don't know why i don't feel bad,

You feel bad when you do something wrong and to my book you haven't done anything right or wrong.. don't push yourself that hard..

Life is bitch and most of us happen to married with?!

Err..

No comment is a comment too..!



Haha..

Good night people..

To be serious...

Moments of casual discharge of sexual feelings has nothing to do with the SINS or feeling bad...

It comes and goes... you had the luxury to get it off in a right way... Unfortunate people try to masturbate?


As frankly as I can be..

I have done something that could hurt another person if she found out. which she won't... I love my friend and I want him to be happy in this relationship if he chooses to stay in it. I don't intend to embark on an affair, I just feel like I have allowed him to release something that has been repressed. I am of the belief that we all have potential to be reached and I don't like to see parts of peoples personalities being squashed because of their partner. I see another side to him that I think he should embrace and celebrate. he is a young man who likes sex but loves his girlfriend, who doesn't give him enough. They are not sexually compatible. it is a common problem I have come across before and it is very sad because that person feels torn between loving their girlfriend and wanting to do right by her, but at the same time having sexual urges that cannot be ignored forever.
I would like to talk to him about it at some point, coz I guess he has no one else to talk to about it as none of our other friends know that their relationship is less than perfect. That would be more helpful than having sex with him.
It is a difficult one, coz my motivation to sleep with him comes from being a best friend and responding to his wishes to sleep with me (he is driven by lust). So I think that is why i don't feel that guilty. It just doesn't feel like a bad thing, whereas if it was more lustful and passionate for me then I would feel more involved and feel more guilt. I don't want him to leave her for me, and he hasn't given any indication he ever would. so I don't see I am a threat.
but I probably will get hit by karma. I deserve it 😢

You don't feel guilty because it isn't you who has been violated ..

M, "If you were in her shoes....you wouldnt feel this way."

Lacks empathy .. very unusual for a Pisces. The only thing that can be hoped now is that you have enough morals and sense NOT to sleep with him again, and two, that you don't tell her out of your own guilt.

If you really love him and her as a friend .. you would end the friendships immediately and allow them to be together without your interferrence and betrayal.

but P-angel, what reason would i give to end the friendships? that is not really an option.

"he is a young man who likes sex but loves his girlfriend, who doesn't give him enough. They are not sexually compatible. it is a common problem I have come across before and it is very sad because that person feels torn between loving their girlfriend and wanting to do right by her, but at the same time having sexual urges that cannot be ignored forever."


That's odd because I've been living a hell of a lot longer than you and I can't say that this is a common problem ..

However, I have come across tons of guys who will say this so the woman would put out without question any time he wants.

You should charge for this .. at least then you won't look so stupid.

Sorry about that, didn't mean for that to come out sounding the way it did .. however, it's still the truth.

Guys are always telling about how much they love their girlfriends (which makes this fuck session emotionally safe), yet they don't get enough sex .. which you are more than glad to provide a service to them because it's so sad and all ..

They're playing you .. all these men that you've come across who tells you this .. you're believing thier stories, opening your legs with no questions asked .. I mean, damn, this man has it made, doesn't he?

I have a girlfriend on the phone right now .. she's never met a man who confides such things in her unless he's trying to get her to pity him so he can set her up as a girl for booty-call.

do you have a wife??
And what if she helped your friend with a casual discharge—


To be honest with you... I wouldn't mind? she is my wife alright but she is an individual what she does it's her business. To be constructive or destructive...It's same for me. I don't dictate people for their behaviour..

And I trust people in my circle? this what I call life..'


Do you..??

I haven't provided a 'service' to anyone else! Just people talk to me and this is what i have heard. he's not playing me. i know it seems hard to believe coz he has cheated, but he is the most decent man I have ever met and i do find myself comparing men to him. If I could meet someone who was as sensitive and had his morals I would be so happy. but no one compares. he is an amazing person. he just slipped up and made this one mistake, and in all the years I've known him, that is the only bad thing he has done. He is not the cheating kind, this is just an issue he has with me. Hard to explain, but if i found out he had cheated with anyone else, i would be really shocked and dissapointed in him. sounds crazy, but infidelity isn't black and white.

Don't you worry my lady... you are not being judged here... Differences of opinions right... but not judged...

As I said.. you did a right thing at the right time..

I don't see it lasting forever. no way. if you have any doubts then the cracks will appear and get bigger over time. I think he is lying to himself also. It's his own fault for getting involved so quick and so deep with her, especially when he says he has been holding a candle for me for 7 years. If I was into someone that much I would not get involved in a serious relationship with someone else, I would wait and wait and hope that that person would become available soon. We were so young and my relationship was fooked anyway. funny, coz i remember my friend telling me bad stuff about my then boyfriend and I didn't know whether to believe him, but now I know what a cad my ex was...
trouble is, I have been single for 5 years now and I have almost forgotten how it feels to be in a relationship. I don't take much that seriously, esp relationships. I got burnt and now I just want some fun. Times like this make me worry for myself and I think I need a reality check or maybe I should start to pursue a proper mature relationship and stop messing with other peoples....

People are so naive .. sometimes, it's everything I can do to not laugh.

And I don't know what's funnier .. the part that people are blinded by intentions because the outside is a good bullshitter, or if it's the fact that there is no awareness that others can indeed, read between the lines.

Do you know that there are people can actually see what you cannot?

The forest is thick and sometimes it's hard to work your way through .. most people only have the capability to see the first line of trees. How they look, how they sway, how they present themselves .. the first line is for show, there's a whole forest behind them.

I don't even know if i believe in monogamy. If my friend can't manage it, then no one can. that's my opinion!

"It's his own fault for getting involved so quick and so deep with her, especially when he says he has been holding a candle for me for 7 years."


Well, there you go .. now you know why you don't feel guilty, because you don't have any to carry. It's perfectly normal to sleep with your girlfriends boyfriends without any guilt if it's the man's fault in the first place for being with her, especially since he really wanted you and has so for 7 years .. that changes everything.

It's all his fault then ..

DAMN that was a fucked up justification I just read from piscesdreamer.

This is the type of shit that keep people pessimistic and away from so called 'love'...

"playing with both of you."...


exactly...

What ever you did was a right thing to do at that moment. Stay on course but don't get use to it!


I am not sure why these people warns you about the karma crap...

What karma..?? is that a part of the newage bullshit religion around..?

You had sex with your friend.. thats all.. is that something to blame yourself all along..??


Or worst? let someone else blaming you for the action..?

I am not talking about deception or betrayals.

These are not the issue here.

This lady had a first hand sexual experience with some friend.. what she did was the experiencing the experience.. thats all..

She is just sitting with the self guilt and judgment..!

If she want to blame herself for the action happened so be it...

But I won't allow anyone to blame her with karma crap or something else...

What she did was right thing to do at that moment...!

No I don't.. what makes to say that..?

I had my wife 7 years ago an I even enjoyed her new marriage 3 years ago and celebrating it with her..!

What I love in here is people and their firm choices and decisions for their future.. good or bad..!

Same goes for this lady in this topic, it was her choice to do it at that very moments of time sense of good or bad is something that she will live with for the rest of her life it is not mine or our problem?what she did was a right thing to do at the very moment of time... I would do the same if I get the same chance..!

Beside.. I wont blame myself for what I did in the past..! never question it..

"what she did was a right thing to do at the very moment of time... I would do the same if I get the same chance..!"


Awwww, don't ya just love the Virgo integrity? They're so honest, and righteous, would never do anything decietful or underhanded.

Got to love 'em, you do .. I'd wager everybody probably looks up to this kind of pride and honour in hopes that some day, they can be just like this ..

Awwww, don't ya just love the Virgo integrity? They're so honest, and righteous, would never do anything decietful or underhanded

No.. again?. What is deceitful in here....?? . do people have a choice for their life or not..?? if I am being denied emotionally or sexually in my relationship.. I'll look for the alternative, what kind of an idiot stay in a dead relationship..??

You should be true to yourself first.. no matter what..

No wonder you have trouble with your Virgo partner??you are deceiving yourself!

Well? this is TRUE VIRGO?

Forget about the myths an pussycats..

"I'll look for the alternative, what kind of an idiot stay in a dead relationship..??"

Exactly Q, that was my original point .. there is NO idiot who would stay in a dead relationship .. so, this man was just using this "excuse" to get in this woman pants ..

.. and it worked, not only that, she defends him and says he has honour and is decent.

There is an innocent victim here .. who appears to be completely overlooked.

"No wonder you have trouble with your Virgo partner??you are deceiving yourself!" Right Q, because KNOWING that there is an innocent woman who is being betrayed by both boyfriend and girlfriend is conclusive evidence that I am decieving myself .. whereas you, on the other hand, would say that you would do the same thing if given the opportunity.


SG, you said, "If you and him didn't feel perfectly right about what happened, then I guess it's time for both of you to carefully exam where you are and what you want. If it was a mistake and it awaken you/him to look deep into yourselves, then it is part of growing into a better existence. It wouldn't be a mistake anymore."

People can believe the way they want .. in my world, the innocent get protected while the guilty get called out.

But, of course .. this is all the man's fault anyway, is it not? For even having the relationship with his girlfriend in the first place.

The boyfriend is a cheater .. this woman who screwed him is also a cheater .. if you cheat with someone to whom you KNOW is commited to another, than if you have no morals to respect relationships, then you will have no morals to respect your own.

"I have been single for 5 years now and I have almost forgotten how it feels to be in a relationship. I don't take much that seriously, esp relationships. I got burnt and now I just want some fun. Times like this make me worry for myself and I think I need a reality check or maybe I should start to pursue a proper mature relationship and stop messing with other peoples...."


Good advice to yourself .. you should listen, for your spot on when you say, "maybe I should start to pursue a proper mature relationship and stop messing with other peoples"

Also, "I don't take much that seriously, esp relationships. I got burnt and now I just want some fun" .. apparantly you aren't the only person who doesn't take things seriously, especially relationships.

It would be nice if you would take fun somewhere besides other peoples relationships.

Course what do I know? According to Q .. this position is affirmative evidence that I am decieving myself .. so, in his world, it's perfectly normal and acceptable to "fuck" up someone elses union and KNOW IT.

People amaze me to no end .. not only do they do things like this with absolutely NO remorse and NO awareness of actions .. theres other people who are just as blind, just as unaware of what lies beyond ..

I'm just truly astounished that ANYBODY can say that to fuck another woman's man is "right" .. that the only thing that matters is how the individual people involved in the atrocity should be considered and the woman to whom is being betrayed deserves no consideration.

Good, now I feel bad. I was worried because yesterday I felt nothing and when i get like that I get scared. Scared that I have become so cynical that I have lost touch with my feelings.
I guess it took a day to sink in. I hardly slept last night. Now I feel dissapointed with my friend and myself. I realise that every time he makes a move on me I lose a little bit more respect for him, which is a shame because he was the person I respected most. I had him on some kind of pedestal. now I realise he is 'just a man!' not this saintly figure.
We have unfinished business. He has always liked me and I have enjoyed flirting with him and I am curious. That is often the undoing of me, I just can't resist. And because there has always been this spark, of course we feel the need to explore it. Even though it is wrong, that is human nature. Maybe it is nothing and we will realise we are better off as friends and no one gets hurt and he stays with his gf. Surely better to put an end to the yearning so he can concentrate on his relationship. I won't allow this to develop into an affair and I know he wants to make his relationship work.

I am going to talk to him at some point and get to the bottom of his woes.

"I am going to talk to him at some point and get to the bottom of his woes."


lol, a day dawns in the Piscean life .. some sooner, some later, perhaps for some it never comes into full view ..

.. this is in the Piscean head, others don't have woes that need us. We need us for others to need us to fix thier woes, and so we make it a mission that has no appreciation by the other, to which we will be hurt, because it was never there to be fixed in the first place.

Look... I don't know you and I don't want to be dragged in your personal relationship neither...

the voice says... the older you get the trickier you are... I am sure that at the end, you'll know what to do?

Who am I to teach you old fox..??





But that doesn't mean you are RIGHT? and you know that you are not..

Brhan kid..

I honestly believe that Boner has taken the position he has because he wants attention

I have been in a similar situation with a very good friend/coworker (pisces). The next day I woke up thinking whoah that did not just happen!!! He did say him and his girl were on a break. Maybe he was lying who knows. I don't think I really even cared since shes a total B. He can do way better but thats not for me to decide.

You being friends with her too is not good since you totally back stabbed her.

The next day we talked and agreed that it was totally casual. I think its more his problem then yours about the cheating aspect but you just need to reevaluate how loyal of a friend you are. Stop trying to save these men of there poor deprived sex drives.

But from my experience when I did it, I wanted him for myself. I don't think this is about you helping a friend in need. I think you have a secret thing for him. Just like I did.

yeah I totally did stab her in the back. I'm learning that guilt creeps up on you... I am never gonna let this happen again. I think if we did we would lose respect for ourselves and each other. And I can't like someone I have no respect for. I don't like myself very much at the moment...

oh life!

Awww trolls again..


Lmao..

It was her post .. and what the fuck you trolls doing her if may I ask??


Goddamn idiots..