HELP NEEDED - Wrongly accused!

My Virgo recently accused me of lying, that was until i & a professional person proved him wrong with the evidence, which proved that i had infact been 100% truthful to him all along!

What i would like to know is:

1) Once someone proves their innocence to you i.e like above example, would you apologise and feel very bad for putting that person through so much pain?
2) Y do virgo's accuse and test all the time?
3) Once a person has proved their innocent, do Virgo's keep on testing/doubting?
4) Do Virgo's ever really trust someone?


Comments greatly appreciated!

The problem isn't your Virgo ..

The day he doubted your word, was the day you should have raised your head high and walked away, instead of attempting to prove yourself to him.

You owe another human being nothing .. if that person doesn't trust you.

If he can't handle the truth .. that's not your problem. But, for the fact that you made it your problem and then set on a quest to prove to him that you are a valueable person is the day you played into his game, but .. lost yourself.

Welcome to trying to be the partner of a Virgo .. in so doing, having to prove your worth over and over and over and over again, and again, and again ..

.. brings you down to his level of mis-trust .. now you will start to doubt yourself so friggin much that you will have to turn to others, such as us in here AND a professional to get validation that your integrity is worthy, that you're actually worth something.

If your word has no honour .. then what does?

For apparantly, if you HAVE to prove something .. then you've already embarked on lowering yourself to somebody's level who doesn't trust you.

If you still have your sanity .. you should run, very quickly and never look back.

Too late for me .. already there. At this point, it's just maintaining.

I'm curious about what kind of professional and evidence .. a lie detector test, perhaps?

Happiness is a warm gun ...

Again .. the problem isn't the Virgo ..

It's a choice .. always has been .. all life decisions are.

"but then it is not others it is how we respond to people"

Thanks, archer .. as always, I can count on you to be straight with me 🙂


"we are still carrying atleast half the problem along or more even when we get away from a nuisance."

All the better to end a partnership before it becomes a burden.

If there isn't trust, there isn't anything worth fighting for .. not loyalty, not compassion, not understanding, nor tolerance ..

I try archer, and fail miserably most times .. normally don't know the reaction from another until I get one .. then what? 😢

Life is so cruel to people sometimes .. it's just not fair.


I'm sorry, Tysah 🙂🙂

Just to update! After i/he received the evidence, i informed him that this had to STOP ASAP! as i do not/will not be in relationship where there is doubt and no trust. He informed me that he would stop and he accepted that he was in the wrong.

Archer!
No, he "verbally implied" that i was lying by making a previous statement to me, in which he thought i had lyed & been deceitful to him then. So when i received this evidence, i reverted back to his previous statement and CLEARLY STATED to him that i had infact told him the truth then months ago yet he doubted my word. I therefore, stated that this was unacceptable and HE NEEDS TO STOP IT NOW! to which he replied he would.

I am a strong person and i will not put up with any crap, but i love this man very deeply however, i know i do not have to prove myself to ANYONE!!!! also i do believe in giving people a chance to change, as some people can change if they want to, but if i dont see no change, then IM GONE!!!!!!!!!!!

100% ARCHER!!!!!!!

TRUST is the base for a relationship and i have clearly stated to him that without trust we have NOTHING!!!!!

Archer
Thats so good to hear, that you would have written every single word. Im a Gem.

Nice to meet you too Archer......

and thank you for your comments

Tell me Archer,

If this were you, how would you be thinking about the whole thing/situation

"P do you like to fight/ quarel— it is such a soothing experience"


Not really, my husband and I rarely fight, if ever. It causes me stress, rather than be soothing. Sometimes, I have all kinds of angry things I want to say, but, when the words come out, it means something different.

archer, it's not him that causes me pain and is eating me alive .. quite the opposite, without him, I'd probably be insane.

Thanks Archer!

At present, im giving him thinking time, thinking time to think what a foul he's been. Hopefully, he will be feeling very bad with himself of how he has treated me.

A person can only treat you the way you allow it.

I agree P-Angel

I love you too, archer 🙂🙂 Hope your holiday was wonderful 🙂

"At present, im giving him thinking time, thinking time to think what a foul he's been. Hopefully, he will be feeling very bad with himself of how he has treated me."


Don't get your hopes up with this .. a Virgo is never a fool .. for they are what they say and they say what they are.

They don't work this way .. they can't be made to feel bad by another, for they have a purpose. If he is critical of you, then he sees something in you that is broken. If he says something to you that makes you feel bad, then he sees this as something you should feel bad about.

That is the way they work .. accept or walk .. or, don't accept, stay and go mad.

No .. I went on several interviews, nothing yet. Actually, I turned one down because it just wasn't right for me (front office/I can't reception because of my handicap). I'm still trying though. One job, I really wanted because it was all alone in a building, just me .. and that's a perfect scenerio for me, since I'm greatly impaired with social interaction and communication. But, I didn't get it 😢

You didn't get that tooth fixed yet? Wisdom teeth, cutting in hurt so bad .. I hope you can find some relief. I know all about teeth pain .. I had all mine pulled years ago. It has it's perks though, I can take them out and scare the hell out of the kids on halloween.

We all really missed your smiling face around here 🙂🙂

P-Angel - "they can't be made to feel bad by another, for they have a purpose. If he is critical of you, then he sees something in you that is broken. If he says something to you that makes you feel bad, then he sees this as something you should feel bad about".

He said something to me that made me feel bad when he accused me of lying, yet infact, i was right and he was wrong, and therefore he was wrong to make me feel bad.

When he is critical of me, he says it jokingly but when i reiterate the critisism, he replies that he is only joking!!! and he does have a good sense of humour so sometimes not quite sure if he is joking or if he is serious.

It may not be this particular "lie" that was actually a truth, that was his point. I know I've seen something similiar to this with my Virgo. At one time, we had a friend who he doubted her honesty and would question her when she said something .. even if he thought what she said was actually the truth. His point was in letting her know that he was suspicious of her honesty. With you, there's no way for me to tell if this is the case or not, for only you know what this deception/truth was .. I can only tell you how the Virgo will operate, according to my experiences.

Additionally, they are usually pretty sensitive to their partners, since their job in life is to care for them, which is something they take pretty damn seriously .. so, it sounds normal that he would say something and then come back and say he was joking .. he likely saw the pain on your face and so he was trying to save you from the pain ..

They say what they are and they are what they say, Tysah. If he says it, he means it.

With this particular lie/truth .. he may not have even thought you lied at all. He may have just been trying to determine your self-confidence and integrity .. there's no telling. But, what I do know is that they have a very defined definition on what they will discuss with a person, for it's a rare day, indeed, that they will speak without spending a gross amount of time, chewing on their views.

Hey, I had to turn it down, archer .. a reception job, where I would greet people would go over for about two hours until I mis-interpreted somebody ..

Besides, it's not for me .. my skills/education are in accounting. The way I'm figuring it, my soulmate is calling me and the job I'll get will be the one where he's working.🙂🙂

Hopeless romantic .. completely driven by it. He'll be the one to whom I'll insult by taking him the wrong way .. which will make him smile, instead of angering. Yep, that's him. 🙂

P-Angel

would you mind if i posted you privately and explain further

It would be me yelling at him, hands on hips, eyes glaring at him, my chest heaving in and out and he's just sitting back chuckling at me, thinking, "Sexy vixen, come climb on my lap with that passion."

Sure Tysah .. no problem 🙂

See, there's a reason why I run on my treadmill everyday for hours on end, sometimes. I'm gonna need that leg strength to ride him .. oh, and btw, archer, on your urging me, I started exercising my kegels a couple weeks ago. Damn, they were weak .. getting stronger, though 🙂

He's sitting as his desk, watching me fuming and feeling a tingling in his testicles. He thinks he's being clever by dropping some papers on the floor, thinking I'll bend over in my short mini-skirt to pick them up and show him my garder holding my stockings up. But, he's confused, I'm not going to fall for that .. I kick the papers towards him and kept ranting. He gets down on one knee to pick the papers up, and then looks up into my eyes with lust .. suddenly a wave washes over me .. damn, I like his face there, how arousing he looks in that position and I fight off the urge to stroke the back of his hair.

So, instead .. I step on the papers with my 3 inch heel .. chest still heavily breathing, hands still on hips. He looks up again, this time his eyes momentarily stop at my cleavage that is just barely showing above my blouse before he looks deep into my eyes to see if I'm going to continue raging .. he's hoping so .. he imagines my panties and bra are leather.

He likes it that I'm making him stay on his knees .. he can feel the rush of the anticipated dominance I have over him start to surge through him, leaving an ache in his groin.

lol, patience ..

.. suffering a little is good for him. He needs to first learn who is his boss. Once he realizes that he belongs to me .. the rough stuff will come in due time.

Holding my stance over him for nearly ten seconds in dead silence, he gets up without picking the papers up and sits back down at his desk and just waits to see if I'm going to fire away at him again ..

"That report IS to be re-written and on my desk by noon," I demand.
"Ok," he says quietly, as his mind starts to think how he can just edit it without doing what he's told.
"Excuse me," I sternly retort, leaning over closer to him, looking him dead in the eyes.
"Yes Ma'am," he answers and hopes the groan that was welling up inside him wasn't heard.

Without saying another word, I turn sideways and let him see my buxom breasts from the side, turn and strut out of his office.

------

At 11:55, he slips into my office while I'm bent over my printer, trying to figure out how to unjamb a piece of paper and he can clearly see my leather garder. Without thinking, he rubs the front of his pants and then turns around and shuts the office door. I then realize that I'm not alone in my office .. once I turn around and see him, waiting patiently for my instructions, like a good boy .. I tell him to fix my printer. He obeys obediantly and walks over to lean over my printer to investigate it. I notice his tight ass and pick up his report to read it.

He dis-obeyed me, it's NOT re-written. I look over again to see his pants are pulled tight and I reach around him to unbuckle his belt.

This time I can hear his groan, as he fantasizes what I plan on doing with his belt .. he was a very bad boy ..

oops 3 posts .. I guess I meant that, lol

My pork roast is done .. I have to feed my husband now.


But, the saga isn't over .. he is still in trouble with me for dis-obeying and he's going to have to make it up to me .. and it BETTER be good ..